Don't want to be timid

Lan Dajing has extremely strict requirements for film shooting. The shooting cycle of a single film often lasts for more than half a year, and that's considered short. The actors have to get up before dawn every day and can't return to the hotel to rest until 11 or 12 at night.

Fortunately, Yu Sheng can now live in Shuye and no longer has to be curled up on that creaky, narrow bed in the flower shop.

After a quick hot shower, he collapsed into bed. He didn't even need to give up sleeping with Lu Chenyang; he was just too exhausted. He had witnessed the strictness of filming in Lan Dajing before, but experiencing it firsthand truly made him understand what terrifying meant.

The afternoon scene couldn't be simpler: a customer enters the store to choose flowers, selects a potted plant, and Wu Cao climbs a ladder from the highest shelf to bring down the large pot and fill it with soil. For this simple scene, Lan Dajing painstakingly recreated it for Yu Sheng over twenty times. He climbed the ladder more than twenty times, each time carrying a terracotta pot bigger than his head. Only when Yu Sheng's legs were so weak from exhaustion that he nearly fell off the ladder did Lan Dajing achieve the desired "physical pathology."

Sleepiness washed over him, and in his half-awake state, he felt a pair of warm hands caressing his aching calves, gently pressing and kneading them. It felt so good, and the pain lessened considerably.

He unconsciously let out a soft whimper like a kitten, rolled over, and exposed his softest belly to the newcomer. His half-dry hair brushed against the other's neck, and he smelled that familiar scent, asking in a muffled voice, "Why are you here? Aren't you afraid of being seen?"

Yu Sheng and Lu Chenyang both live in Shuye, but on different floors. Their relationship is no secret among the higher-ups at Xinghua, but with so many people watching on set, Yu Sheng doesn't want to bring any more controversy to Lu Chenyang because of trending topics.

“You’re blaspheming the gods.” Lu Chen kissed the top of his head, then frowned, her tone reproachful, “You didn’t even dry your hair.”

The warm air from the hairdryer gently caressed every curve of her hair. Yu Sheng closed her eyes contentedly, resting her head on Lu Chenyang's lap as he pampered her. She lazily asked, "I heard Gu Qun has been replaced? Director Lan mentioned it today. Do you know who the new actor is?"

Gu Qun is Sui Qing's superior police officer in "Dark Fire," and the only person in the entire series who knows Sui Qing's undercover identity. Although his role is small, it's a collaboration between Lan Dajing and Yan Jianghe, and many people are scrambling to get a piece of the pie. The original actor was exposed for tax evasion just before filming began, and Lan Dajing decisively replaced him, but finding a suitable replacement proved difficult.

"I don't know," Lu Chenyang replied, his hands still busy, drying his hair and then carefully combing it. He did this kind of thing many times and was already quite adept at it. "Originally, there was a scene between Sui Qing and Gu Qun tomorrow, but it looks like it will have to be postponed."

"Go to sleep, your hair is dry." Lu Chenyang rubbed Yu Sheng's head, wrapped his arms around her noticeably thinner waist, and unconsciously tightened his grip. "Don't worry, I'll leave before four o'clock tomorrow morning."

*

It was late January, and Lunar New Year's Eve was approaching. It was clear that they would be spending the holiday on set this year. Yu Sheng was already used to spending the holiday alone and didn't mind. But Lu Chenyang was different; he had family.

Yu Sheng noticed that Lu Chenyang was calling more and more frequently lately, sometimes even having to walk away to answer. Although he was very curious, he never asked too many questions; his trust in Lu Chenyang had become an instinct.

It was time for a break between performances and for the lighting to be adjusted.

As always, Lu Chenyang walked quite a distance before answering the phone. He lowered his voice, "Sister Huaiyin... um, I've already contacted my friends at the police station... no problem, Asheng is fine... um, be careful with Yu Zhengcheng..."

Yu Sheng glanced back at Lu Chenyang, who was being called back by his assistant A Jiang in the distance, his eyes darkening slightly. He assumed Lu Chenyang didn't want the noise from the film crew to disturb his grandmother on the other end of the phone... maybe it was his grandmother.

"Brother Yu Sheng, it's time to go on stage." Stage manager Qiao Xinmiao ran over to call him.

"Scene X, Shot X, Scene X of 'Darkfire,' Action!"

The doorbell rang softly, a gust of cold wind swept into the flower shop, and Wu Cao coughed twice, habitually saying, "Welcome, what would you like to order?"

"I need a bed." The man's tone was flippant, deliberately teasing him.

Wu Cao put down the bouquet she was trimming halfway through, and looking up, she saw Sui Qing, who had been missing for more than half a month. He was still wearing his signature leather coat, but it couldn't hide his exhaustion, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"No bed if you don't pay the room fee." Wu Cao pointed to a recliner next to her. "This is the only one we have. Do you want it?"

"Yes," Sui Qing answered readily, turning around and lying down. The lounge chair was surrounded by flowers, bathed in the soft winter sunlight, and the blanket on it was warm and cozy from the sun. Lying here, she could see the busy dancing grass.

He was exhausted, but he forced his eyelids open. He wondered if he would ever live to enjoy such sunshine, such a recliner, or see this person again.

"Little Grass," Sui Qing called out with her eyes closed.

"What's wrong?"

Why am I being made to sleep here?

"For no reason."

"You hate Ninth Master."

“You are not Ninth Master. You are different.”

“What’s different? They all seem the same.” Sui Qing had almost forgotten what he looked like in his police uniform. Apart from Gu Qun, no one knew he was a policeman. In everyone’s eyes, he was just a drug dealer, the most vicious dog under Ninth Master.

After pruning the last leaf of the bouquet, Wu Cao handed it to Sui Qing. "Can you tell the difference between this bouquet and poppies?"

Yu Meiren (a type of poppy). Sui Qing, who deals with poisons year-round, can naturally distinguish between them.

“I can tell the difference too,” Wu Cao said softly. “A poppy is a poppy. It can never be an opium poppy. Even if the seeds are sown in an opium poppy field, the flowers that bloom will still be poppies.”

"Cut! That's a pass!"

Yu Sheng breathed a sigh of relief. It was truly not easy to pass through Lan Dajing's hands in one go.

Lu Chenyang was called away by Lan Dajing. Yu Sheng's scenes for the day were finished, and next up was Sui Qing's scene with Ninth Master. He took the down jacket handed to him by A Jiang, and when he looked up, he saw someone who should never have been there.

"What?!" Yu Sheng's eyes widened in surprise. She ran over, her voice filled with undisguised joy, "Why are you here?"

He Wei, a top-tier actor, is not only a Grand Slam Best Actor winner, but also Yu Sheng's college roommate and a pillar of Xinghua TV.

Yu Sheng was both surprised and delighted to see He Wei here. Ever since Yu Sheng met him in college, this man would "disappear" whenever the Spring Festival was approaching, no matter how big the matter was, to accompany his "brother". She didn't know why he would appear on the film set this year.

"I missed you." He Wei smiled and stepped forward, giving him a tight hug.

"Come on," Yu Sheng said, pouting, his face full of disbelief. He knew He Wei all too well; this man appeared warm on the outside but was actually very cold on the inside, extremely difficult to get close to, and very few people could truly get close to him, with Yu Sheng and Lan Zhong being exceptions.

"Why aren't you dressed properly again?" Lu Chenyang's voice suddenly interrupted, and he unceremoniously squeezed between the two of them, zipping up Yu Sheng's down jacket before turning to look at the person who had just hugged Yu Sheng. Despite trying to restrain himself, He Wei still sensed the unfriendly look in his eyes.

He Wei smiled, took off his mask, and said, "Hello, I am He Wei, and I play Gu Qun in 'Dark Fire'."

Lu Chenyang was visibly taken aback. After a moment, he shook hands with He Wei with a slight apology and said politely, "Teacher He."

That night, Yu Sheng, who had no scenes to film, still sat behind the monitor with the crew, watching the scenes between Lu Chenyang and He Wei.

The script supervisor clapped the clapperboard, and the two actors instantly got into character.

The wind on the rooftop was biting cold, stinging my face.

"A shipment is leaving on the fifth of next month. The seller is someone important, and Ninth Master will personally escort the goods." Sui Qing exhaled a puff of smoke, stubbed out the cigarette on the snow, picked it up, and put it back in his coat pocket without leaving a trace.

"Okay." Gu Qun looked up at the sky, his expression solemn. "Take good care of yourself. After this mission, you can officially rejoin the team, and I will apply to reinstate your police officer status."

Sui Qing smiled but didn't reply. He simply took out a neatly folded notepad from the inside pocket of his leather coat and handed it to Gu Qun. Under the other's surprised gaze, he smiled nonchalantly and said, "A suicide note."

Gu Qun's hand froze in mid-air until the snowflakes dampened the paper before he withdrew it and carefully put the suicide note into his pocket.

Sui Qing breathed a sigh of relief, smiled lightly, and waved as he walked downstairs. Near the stairs, he suddenly stopped, turned back to Gu Qun, and said, "If I die a glorious death, don't put white chrysanthemums on my tombstone; they're too plain. Use poppies, the bright red kind; they'll look beautiful."

Sui Qing's smile froze on the monitor screen. Yu Sheng held her breath, secretly glancing at Lan Dajing's serious expression, afraid that the old man would suddenly lose his temper. Because the script ended with Sui Qing going downstairs, this line wasn't even in the script; Bai Ju and Yu Meiren were all added on the spot by Lu Chenyang.

"Cut! Well, that's a good addition."

Perhaps because He Wei's joining the crew relieved a worry for Lan Dajing, the old man was in a good mood and finished work early.

Yu Sheng returned to the hotel around 9 p.m. She had just finished showering when she heard a knock on the door. She initially thought it would be Lu Chenyang, but then remembered he had a room key.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see He Wei standing there, and even more so to see that the man was carrying a bottle of wine. In Yu Sheng's memory, He Wei rarely drank alcohol because he was in poor health and only had one kidney left.

"Want a drink?" He Wei shook the bottle, a slight smile on his face.

"Alright, I'll keep you company, even if it costs me my life." Yu Sheng sent Lu Chenyang a WeChat message, telling him to sleep alone tonight. The fact that he brought alcohol clearly indicated he was in a bad mood. As one of his few friends, Yu Sheng certainly wouldn't refuse.

The two sat on the living room carpet, completely without any celebrity airs. He Wei tilted his head back and took a big gulp of wine, sighing, "I put in a lot of effort to get the role of Gu Qun. Director Lan didn't choose me during the audition. I know that I'm too thin and don't fit the role."

The alcohol had flushed his face slightly, but Yu Sheng saw two conflicting expressions in He Wei's eyes: resolute and desolate. He heard He Wei continue in a hoarse voice, "But I have to join this group. If I can't play Sui Qing, I have to play Gu Qun... Fortunately, the original actor had an accident, which allowed me to take the role."

Yu Sheng looked at He Wei's noticeably thicker biceps and hesitated before saying, "You..."

"Hmm." He Wei drank one sip after another. "Director Lan gave me half a month to work out... and I finally met the standard."

"Why do you insist on joining this group? Your body simply can't handle high-intensity exercise," Yu Sheng asked softly. "Is it because of you... your brother?"

He didn't know how to address that person; he had only seen a photo of He Wei on his desk during college, with the face covered by a sticker. He Wei only called him "brother" and said he was her boyfriend.

"Ah Sheng." After half a bottle of wine, He Wei was already a little dizzy. His hand holding the wine glass trembled slightly, and his eyes were filled with tears. "What are your plans for the future with Lu Chenyang?"

Yu Sheng was caught off guard by the sudden change of topic and was momentarily speechless.

He Wei, however, did not seem to expect an answer, and only said to himself, "The way he looked at you today... he must really like you. Ah Sheng, I'm really happy for you to have someone like him taking care of you." He Wei did not know Yu Sheng's past, but he knew about his illness and had worried about him a lot during college.

“Really.” He poured wine for Yu Sheng, his gaze fixed on the night outside the window. He seemed to be talking to himself or to him, “If my brother were still here, I would definitely, definitely… even if I had to give up everything, as long as I stayed by his side… anything would be fine.” He smiled, but his eyes were filled with desolation. “I envy you all so much, so very much.”

Yu Sheng had never intended to pry into her friend's past, but now she was willing to be a good listener. "Would you like to tell me about it?"

After a long silence, He Wei slowly spoke: "My brother is a policeman. When I was seventeen, I was bullied and one of my kidneys was ruptured... He saved me, paid for my medical treatment, and supported my studies. I said I wanted to be a policeman too, like him... but with one kidney missing, I couldn't pass the physical exam. My brother said I was good-looking, so I should become an actor, a very famous actor, and I could influence and help many people."

"Later... the night before I went to register for university, I went back to our home... my brother was gone, leaving only a letter and some money. He said he had a mission and would be gone for a long time... but I never saw him again."

He looked at Yu Sheng with red eyes, as if seeking a different answer from an outsider. "Later, his colleague found me and gave me a sum of money as compensation. He said that he had done a great job as an undercover agent, but he sacrificed himself and died... without even leaving a body."

“I don’t believe it… I don’t believe it. I asked them for the body, and they said they didn’t have it. I asked them for the file, I wanted to go find him, but they said it was confidential and they couldn’t give it to me. There’s nothing I can do. I’m not his relative, there’s no law that recognizes our relationship. I’m just a stray dog ​​he picked up on the street and was about to die.”

He Wei's voice lowered, "I started working hard and acting hard, trying to become famous, to have my photos and movies all over the world, to make everyone know me... I thought that maybe my brother could see me in some corner of the world."

Yu Sheng had never heard He Wei say these things before, and he felt extremely sad at this moment. He understood why He Wei was so determined to join the "Dark Fire" crew; perhaps he could find his brother's shadow there.

"Ah Sheng." He wiped his face, his smile more like a grimace. It was astonishing that such a handsome face could display such an ugly expression. "Actually, my brother isn't my boyfriend at all."

"On the day I turned eighteen, I wanted to tell him that I liked him... I think he liked me too. But I didn't dare... I was afraid of affecting his career, afraid of becoming a burden to him, afraid of being rejected, afraid of breaking up... I was afraid of so many things."

"If I knew I would never see him again... I would definitely tell him that I really loved him."

Yu Sheng listened in a daze. He Wei's words were brief, lacking in detail and vividness, yet he tasted the bitterness of this unfulfilled affection, a bitterness that made his tongue ache.

He thought of Lu Chenyang, and realized that he was also afraid. He was afraid of having no way out, afraid of hindering Lu Chenyang's career, afraid that Lu Chenyang would regret it, and afraid of the world's opinion.

But now, a living example is right in front of him, like a heavy hammer blow to his heart, and every word that enters his ears is accusing and mocking his cowardice.

Yu Sheng is a coward. Yu Sheng doesn't want to be a coward anymore.

After taking He Wei back to his room, Yu Sheng carefully wiped his face and covered him with a blanket, watching over him until he fell asleep amidst his indistinct calls of "brother".

Walking down the empty hotel corridor, Yu Sheng took out her phone and dialed the number of Shu Ye's legal counsel. "Take stock of all my assets, including funds, real estate, stocks, investments, and debts."