Chapter 97 Back then, I didn't know I would love so much.

Upon suddenly seeing Xiao Shenjing, Yunxi's heart skipped a beat, and she subconsciously asked, "What are you doing here?"

Xiao Shenjing glanced at the food box in her hand and said seemingly unconcernedly, "Yuanxiao wants you to keep him company, so I came to see if you are free."

His tone was inscrutable, revealing neither joy nor anger, and there was nothing amiss.

Yunxi placed the food box into Xiaobei's hands. "Go." After saying that, she looked up at the man at the door and said calmly, "You know perfectly well why I won't go. Why bother asking this question on purpose?"

"Oh?" Xiao Shenjing smiled, his thick eyelashes gleaming. "I don't know why you didn't go."

Yunxi was very displeased with his expression and tone.

That was an undisguised aggressiveness.

"You're asking a question you already know the answer to." She had also lost her patience.

At this moment, Xiao Bei had already walked to the door with the food box, but Xiao Shenjing, being tall and strong, easily blocked the doorway.

If he wants to get out, he will have to move his body.

Anyone else would have given way by now, but Xiao Shenjing lacked such foresight.

He leaned against the door frame without moving, his long legs stretched out across the frame.

"Young Master Xiao, please make way." Although Xiao Bei was bold, he wasn't so bold as to be fearless. He lowered his head when he said this, not overstepping his bounds in the slightest.

Xiao Shenjing had a high opinion of himself and generally wouldn't argue with others, especially those of low status.

But then he casually asked, "If I don't allow it, what will you do?"

Xiao Bei, with her back bent, didn't know what to say for a moment.

"What exactly do you want to do?" Yunxi frowned, suppressing her temper as she asked.

Xiao Shenjing didn't look at her, but stretched his hand out to Xiao Bei and said, "Give it to me."

Given his status as an emperor, Xiao Bei naturally dared not disobey.

Watching him take the food box away, Yunxi called out loudly, "Xiao Shenjing!"

Her tone carried a strong warning, indicating that her patience was about to run out.

Xiao Shenjing seemed not to have heard anything at all, picked up the food box, turned around, and walked out.

The curtain fell as he moved, blocking Yunxi's view.

When she chased after him, she saw him sitting on the table, taking out two small dishes from the food box and pouring himself a drink.

The candlelight flickered on his profile, casting a shadow over his pale skin.

never mind.

Yunxi thought she couldn't let her older brother get into trouble.

So she turned her head and said, "Xiao Bei, go tidy up and get ready to close the door."

Xiao Shenjing tilted his head back and drank the cup of wine in one gulp.

The new wine, once it hit my throat, burned like fire all the way.

He tapped his wine glass, turned his head, and looked at Yunxi. "What, are you leaving already?"

"Otherwise what?" Yunxi stared at him matter-of-factly.

“Alright.” Xiao Shenjing slammed down his wine glass.

This person is very strange and eccentric.

Yunxi had no intention of indulging him, so she turned and left as soon as Xiaobei came out of the kitchen.

In this short period of time, Xiao Shenjing had already drunk several cups in a row, which made Fu Shun behind him frown repeatedly, but he dared not say anything to stop him.

It was like an approaching storm.

I thought tonight would pass peacefully.

"Heh," but before Yunxi could take two steps, a low, hoarse chuckle suddenly pierced the thick silence of the tavern.

Xiao Shenjing slowly raised his head. The moonlight illuminated half of his face, his jawline taut as if carved by a knife, and his eyes filled with an intense, unyielding malice. He stared at that slender figure, each word seemingly ground out from between his teeth, "The Mid-Autumn Festival, a time for family reunion, you are unwilling to be with me, unwilling to be with the children."

Yunxi seemed not to hear and continued walking forward.

Xiao Shenjing suddenly raised the rough earthenware wine bowl in his hand and smashed it hard on the ground.

A piercing crash rang out, and shards of coarse pottery scattered in all directions, startling Xiao Bei so much that he trembled.

Yunxi's steps were completely rooted to the spot.

"You sat there all night just to wait for Fan Zishi, so that you could fulfill your 'deep affection' of gazing at each other across the moon during this festival of reunion?" Xiao Shenjing didn't even glance at the mess on the ground. His gaze was fixed on Yun Xi, unfathomable and unwilling to look away.

"What are you maliciously speculating about?" Yun Xi suddenly turned around, the moonlight illuminating her angry face, her almond-shaped eyes burning with flames as she pierced the emperor. "Fan Zishi and I have always had a brother-sister relationship."

"Brotherly and sisterly affection?" Xiao Shenjing raised his head, a short, piercing laugh escaping his throat. The laugh echoed in the empty tavern, filled with undisguised mockery, as if he had truly heard the most ridiculous joke in the world. Then the laughter abruptly stopped. "What a loving brother and sisterly bond! But do you know where his own sister is right now, and what kind of misery she is enduring?"

"He disregarded even his own blood-related sister, yet he risked the extermination of his entire clan for you, a complete outsider! Tell me!" He abruptly rose from the table, "He was so reckless, so desperate!"

His voice was low, yet every word carried immense weight: "What exactly is Fan Zishi's purpose?"

Xiao Shenjing's questioning was like an invisible giant hand gripping Yunxi's throat, making it almost impossible for her to breathe.

Surprised and bewildered, she stood there, her anger long since vanished.

She had never thought of it that way.

She thought it was because he felt guilty.

I just feel guilty.

Could it be that what Xiao Shenjing said is true?

At this moment, Yunxi's whole body stiffened, and even blinking seemed extremely difficult.

When she came to her senses, she found that Xiao Shenjing had already come to stand in front of her without her noticing.

The dark figure exuded a mountain-like oppressive aura, completely enveloping Yunxi in his shadow.

“Tell me, Yunxi,” he leaned forward abruptly, grabbing her arms with both hands, “you don’t like Fan Zishi, do you?”

The eyes that were fixed on her had their pupils shrunk as they struggled to suppress their overwhelming killing intent.

The candlelight flickered and swayed in the draft, and the broken pottery shards reflected a cold, piercing light in the pale moonlight.

"You're clearly just being unreasonable!" Yunxi suddenly snapped out of her shock, her arm suddenly exerting force, and with an almost resolute strength, she shook off Xiao Shenjing's iron hand that was gripping her wrist.

She used too much force and staggered back half a step, her back hitting the cold counter. Ignoring the pain, she raised her head and cursed, "Don't drag irrelevant people into this! Let me tell you, I'm not going to the lantern festival because of Fan Zishi, and certainly not because of your ridiculous suspicions!" She said firmly, "I just don't want to have anything to do with you, not even the slightest bit!"

Xiao Shenjing suddenly narrowed his eyes.

A gradually uncontrollable chill seeped out.

In that instant, the air froze, becoming as suffocating as a block of iron.

Yunxi didn't care about his gaze at all. Instead, she pressed him closer and cruelly exposed her pretense of the past few days: "Do you think that just because there's the Lantern Festival, I have to spend my whole life with you?"

She sneered, her tone laced with undisguised sarcasm, "In this world, unless I want it, unless I'm willing, not even my child can bind me."

The more Yunxi spoke, the clearer and more determined her expression became. She realized that at this moment, the confusion that had been troubling her had finally found its direction.

Why is it that she always refuses to give in, always refuses to compromise with reality like others, and always refuses to go with the flow like everyone else?

Despite pretending to be Zi Shu for three years, she easily reverted to her former self in the end.

Even though Yunxi herself is not tolerated by worldly doctrines, even though Yunxi is an oddball and a freak, even though so many people hate her.

So what? Why should she wear herself down to a bloody mess and imprison herself just to please others with a few words?

“I am first and foremost Yunxi, and only secondly a mother. I live not to be changed by anyone, not to be bound by anyone.” As she spoke, her almond-shaped eyes shone brighter, sparkling with a dazzling starlight that was so bright that people dared not look directly at them. “I have walked a difficult path, not to be extinguished by anyone.”

At this moment, Yunxi was like a star exploding in the cold night, uncontrollable and unyielding. She was radiant and dazzling, piercing through all the gloom.

The dazzling light momentarily stunned Xiao Shenjing.

The oppressive chill was violently blasted open, creating a crack.

As if afraid that she would wander too far and become out of his reach, Xiao Shenjing almost lost control and took a step forward, grabbing her arm again.

His tall figure once again shrouded Yunxi in shadow, but the oppressive aura he exuded had strangely softened somewhat. He looked down at her face, pale from the candlelight, and said in a gentler voice, "Yunxi, let's live well together from now on, okay?" He didn't use force, nor did he roughly restrain her; he was simply negotiating with her.

"Wealth, power, and honor," he listed, these things that countless people coveted, "If you want them, I can give them to you!"

This time, Yunxi didn't push him away in frustration as she had before.

As if she no longer needed to use such gestures to express her feelings, she spoke four words to Xiao Shenjing in a tone of unprecedented calm: "I don't need it."

"Why wouldn't I want you? My harem is just a facade. As long as we live well together, you will be my sole consort, and with the Phoenix Seal in my hand, I will only have you as my wife!" Xiao Shenjing's breathing became rapid, and with each rise and fall of his chest, it was as if he wanted to offer her everything he could give, everything he considered the best, trying to melt her cold and resistant heart. "I will give you a wedding that will be the most magnificent in history! The red bridal procession will stretch from the palace gates all the way to the outskirts of the capital, with gold bricks paving the ground and brocade as the road! I will make all the people of the Great Jing prostrate themselves on the ground, looking up to their Empress! The Ministry of Rites will exhaust all the classics to establish the most honorable ceremony for you, and I will personally lead all the officials to the Imperial Ancestral Temple to comfort our ancestors and welcome you into the Empress's Palace!"

Yunxi tilted her head slightly, without interrupting him.

This led Xiao Shenjing to mistakenly believe that he had won her over.

He described a glory that would make any woman in the world envious: "From now on, you will be the most honorable woman in the world! Your name will be engraved at the top of the annals of history alongside mine! Your will is my will! Wherever the phoenix seal goes, the six palaces will bow down! You will have endless treasures and the most exquisite silks and satins in the world."

"I will devote all my energy to educating Yuanxiao, clearing away all obstacles for him! He will become the most noble and powerful crown prince, the undisputed ruler of the world in the future!" His eyes deepened and became fervent. "From now on, no one will be able to compare with you, no one will be able to shake you in the slightest! As long as you nod, as long as you are willing to stay by my side..."

His gaze was fixed on her eyes, burning with an almost obsessive intensity. "Yunxi, I can give you all of these."

"Xiao Shenjing," Yun Xi tilted her head and softly called his name.

The emperor's heart suddenly tightened.

An unprecedented tension gripped my heart, and I even felt a bit of unspeakable unease, as if I were a prisoner awaiting the final verdict.

This realization struck Xiao Shenjing as utterly absurd.

That's ridiculous!

Who is he? When he ascended the throne amidst mountains of corpses and seas of blood, he was not nervous; when he faced attacks from his ministers and life-or-death struggles in the court, he was not apprehensive; when he held the reins of power and could decide the fate of countless people with a single word, his heart was as hard as stone.

However, all his pride, all his authority, and all his strategic planning seemed so pale and powerless under the gaze of her eyes, which were as bright as stars but as calm as aloofness.

He offered her everything he could, and yet he was still afraid of being rejected?

“I told you, I don’t want any of these.” She stared at him lightly.

It's like the utter silence, like the ashes left after everything has burned away.

When I liked you

Xiao Shenjing's pupils trembled, as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head.

"Don't say these things, even if you have nothing," Yunxi's voice was not loud, but it was like an invisible sharp blade that suddenly cut through the magnificent prison woven by power and wealth.

But that's not enough.

She said, word by word, "Even if you take off this dragon robe, walk out of the palace, or even fall into this quagmire and have nothing left."

She paused slightly, and in her strikingly bright eyes, there was not a trace of pity or condescension, only a rock-solid determination: "I will follow you too."

These six words, light as a feather, yet weigh heavier than a thousand pounds. They have nothing to do with status or wealth, but only with the man himself.

Xiao Shenjing stood at the boundary between shadow and moonlight, his dark robes making his face appear pale, and even breathing seemed difficult.

“But you once,” she tilted her head, smiled slightly at him, “gave up on me like that, didn’t you?”

The word "give up" was uttered by her so clearly and so calmly, yet it struck Xiao Shenjing's heart like two heavy hammer blows! He was almost unable to breathe amidst a sharp pain in his heart.

“You once discarded me like trash,” she said, taking a half-step forward, her slender body standing straight as a bamboo shoot in the wind and snow, refusing to back down an inch. “Now, why should I agree to whatever you want?”

"On what grounds?"

She stood in front of him and asked.

Her figure was slender, yet she resembled an insurmountable iceberg. Her nonchalant expression and calm, unwavering tone were precisely the most utterly resolute expression of her heartbreak.

She was no longer angry, no longer argumentative; she simply told him calmly and clearly: what he had destroyed with his own hands could never be restored. His regret, his imperial power, were worthless to her.

In that instant, all the imperial majesty, pride, and power crumbled almost completely under Yun Xi's calm questioning.

But how could he just let go like that?

“Yunxi, everyone makes mistakes, don’t they?” Xiao Shenjing paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing as if he were swallowing something with difficulty.

Back then, their identities were at odds. He was walking on thin ice, knowing that a single misstep would lead to utter ruin and death. He simply couldn't act according to his own whims.

So he chose the simplest way to distance himself from her.

But when you truly lose something, you realize that some things that seemed ordinary at the time, when you look back, are things that you can never find again in this world.

His throat tightened with bitterness. "I never knew I would love you so much."

"Love?" Yunxi suddenly interrupted him. "You don't understand what love is at all."

This blatant denial was tantamount to slapping the supreme imperial power in the face, and Xiao Shenjing's aura suddenly plummeted.

"Why don't I understand!" Xiao Shenjing took a step forward, his voice rising like the clash of metal, echoing with unquestionable authority in the empty hall, causing the candlelight to flicker. He declared with absolute certainty, "Love is a reward, forgiveness, and pardon. Even if you commit heinous crimes that would implicate your entire family, I can still forgive you, pardon you, and protect you."

"Have I not done so?" He stared intently at her, his chest heaving, and presented irrefutable evidence: "Who in the whole world can receive such special favor? Besides you, who else have I ever treated like this?"

He was met with a long silence from Yunxi. She did not refute him, nor was she afraid; she simply stared at him with an extremely complex and unfamiliar gaze.

This silence was more unbearable for Xiao Shenjing than any harsh words.

He was rooted to the spot by her gaze, like a trapped beast that had been provoked but couldn't find the reason, his voice unconsciously carrying a hint of urgency and forced toughness: "Isn't that so?"

He pressed for an answer.

Yunxi took a slow, very light breath and asked, "Why do you think that?"

These words, though spoken lightly, carried the weight of a sharp sword, piercing the long-sealed, bloody gates of the emperor's memory.

His eyes instantly lost focus, and the anger and imperial majesty he had just displayed receded like a tide, as if he had fallen into a cold and gloomy abyss of memories.

He closed his eyes briefly, then suddenly turned around.

His tall figure filled the room with loneliness.

"Because" The emperor endured it again and again, but still decided to grab Yunxi's knife, plunge it into his chest, and cut himself open inch by inch, dragging those memories out from the darkest corners, just to make her believe.

"Emperor Xiao Quan despised my mother, looking down on her for being a lowly palace maid. To him, her existence was nothing more than a drunken indiscretion, a stain that needed to be erased."

His gaze drifted into the distance, as if he had transformed back into the young prince who was shivering with cold, unable to protect his mother even if he broke his head.

“She lived such a humble and cautious life, like dust, afraid of attracting anyone’s attention. But the Empress wanted her dead!” Xiao Shenjing pressed his brows down hard, his expression particularly sinister. “Just to get rid of an eyesore, a ‘lowly maid’ who gave birth to a prince.”

"Witchcraft! What a useful yet deadly charge. A few crudely made cloth dolls, a few lines of haphazardly drawn talismans, 'coincidentally' found in that secluded corner of her palace—evidence?" He sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "The Queen says she has them, then that's irrefutable evidence!"

The words "granted death" seemed to be carved out from between his clenched teeth. "And Emperor Xiao Quan, my father, just sat there on that supreme throne. Like a gilded clay sculpture. Watching his woman, my mother, being dragged away like ants, he didn't even move his buttocks or frown."

“He did not stop her, did not ask her any questions, and did not even give her a final look. He simply acquiesced to this massacre carried out in his name.”

"All the palace maids whispered among themselves, saying in a matter-of-fact and relieved tone, 'She's just a lowly palace maid who climbed into the emperor's bed, with the life of an ant. How can she be compared to the Empress's good health and the majesty of the Empress?'"

"So what is love?" Xiao Shenjing suddenly turned to look at Yunxi, his voice carrying an almost obsessive certainty. "It's like how Emperor Xiao Quan treated the Empress, indulging her in wielding the power of life and death, indulging her in everything, even if that power crushed my mother's life! And I—" He straightened his back—"gave you countless chances! I was even willing to forgive and pardon you countless times when you committed serious crimes. Isn't that love?"

"Am I not loving you enough?"