Chapter 97: Slowly falling asleep again, Chen Song...

Falling asleep again, Chen Song had a dream. To be precise, it was not a dream, but a revolving lantern that did not end after he fell off the cliff.

Under the incandescent light, Gu Xingjue blocked the sulfuric acid for him, and the scene of him catching the knife with his bare hands flashed through his mind. The bright red words "in operation" in the silent corridor, and the countless tormenting nights were still so suffocating when they replayed in his mind.

That cry on the shore at sunset, the heart beating violently beneath my palm, Gu Xingjue's wailing in the corridor, the passionate kiss in the toilet cubicle, the entanglement in the hotel, the wish in front of the Black Forest cake...

"How about I tell you a story? A little bedtime story...Once upon a time there was a little pig and a little rabbit..."

"I was the bastard before, but now I know, I've learned, and I love you, Chen Song."

"If other people's kids have it, my kids must have it too."

"I want to spend every holiday with you. When everyone is reunited, I also want to be with the person I love most in the world, eating a reunion dinner, watching the moon and fireworks, and falling asleep in each other's arms, waiting for the next beautiful morning."

"Can you please not... not look for someone else..."

"Could you please stop being so cold to me..."

"I like it very much, I really like it. I love you so much, my wife~"

"I can't help it. I still want to kiss you."

"I want to work hard, not just a little bit, but 200%..."

“Do you feel it? It’s saying I love you.”

"I want to come back alive to see you."

"You are free, Chen Song."

"You will be happy. I will make you happy. Don't be afraid. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to love anymore. I will give you all my love. When you feel a lot of love, I will slowly teach you how to give love to me."

"Not just for me, you can start by giving me a flower, a piece of cake, the sun, spring, the four seasons, the world, your friends, and yourself. It doesn't matter if it's me in the end."

"As long as you are still in this world, I will find you no matter where you are. If you are no longer in this world, my soul will follow you all the way. If you want to go to heaven, I will go with you to heaven. If you want to go to hell, I will accompany you to hell."

"You are gentle, resilient, brave, kind, independent, strong, responsible, and accountable. Why can't you be happy? Everyone can be happy, so why can't you?"

"What kind of person are you? Are you starting to redefine yourself now?"

"Bang!" The shattering sensation of falling into the abyss jolted Chen Song awake, the echoes of Gu Xingjue's voice still echoing in his chaotic mind. He stared at the gray ceiling with terrified eyes, his breathing rapid, a cold sweat dripping. The suffocating feeling of weightlessness still enveloped him, like the heavy rain that fell the night he fell off the cliff.

"Chen Song?" Gu Xingjue's voice rang in his ears, like a gentle branch that lifted him out of the rain. "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

Gu Xingjue got up from his chair and squatted beside the bed, turning on the small bedside lamp. The warm yellow light couldn't change Chen Song's pale face. His forehead was covered with dense beads of sweat. Gu Xingjue took a tissue and wiped his sweat.

"Are you having a nightmare, huh?" Gu Xingjue asked him.

Chen Song lowered his eyes to look at Gu Xingjue's thin and haggard appearance. He looked very different from his dream. Under the orange light, Gu Xingjue's deep features were cast in even sharper shadows, and there were a few strands of white hair on his ears.

Gu Xingjue looked at Chen Song's frightened grey eyes, which were filled with confusion. He felt a tightness in his heart. He lifted him from the bed and gently stroked his back, from the protruding bones of his neck all the way down to his waist, soothing the frightened rabbit.

"Don't be afraid, I'm here. I'm here. It's okay, Chen Song. It's okay. I'm always here. No matter what happens, I will always be by your side."

Chen Song's frightened pupils gradually shrank back to their normal shape, his rapidly beating heart slowly calmed down, and his breathing slowed down.

Gu Xingjue felt Chen Song's tense body relax, so he comforted him with a few words in a gentle voice, touched his head, and only released the hug after he was completely calm. He pressed the button to half-raise the bed and let Chen Song lean on it.

"Would you like some water? Blink twice if you do."

Chen Song looked at him straight in the eyes, as if there was another intention in his eyes. Gu Xingjue paused and asked, "Do you want to go to the bathroom?"

Chen Song had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and it was because of this habit that Gu Xingjue neglected to do so, and they completely separated that night. Gu Xingjue was still terrified. But now, even if Chen Song wanted to leave, he didn't have the ability to do so.

Chen Song blinked twice.

"Little one?"

Chen Song blinked twice.

"Do you want a big one?"

Chen Song: “…”

Chen Song closed his eyes in despair, and Gu Xingjue knew that Chen Song meant to suffocate him to death.

When you close your eyes, your hearing becomes more acute. Gu Xingjue's soft laughter reached Chen Song's ears, making them tingle. Then, the next moment, he felt his entire body float in the air. He opened his eyes in panic. Gu Xingjue picked him up and walked towards the bathroom.

Chen Song's lips parted slightly, but he couldn't speak. Gu Xingjue carried him to the toilet and put him down. Since Chen Song was not wearing shoes, Gu Xingjue placed him on the back of his feet.

Gu Xingjue's feet were much bigger than his, and he was wearing indoor slippers, which were just enough for Chen Song to step on. Gu Xingjue put one hand on Chen Song's waist to maintain his balance, and with the other hand he untied his belt.

Chen Song panicked, his temperature rising and his heartbeat quickening. He lowered his eyes and watched Gu Xingjue skillfully unbuckle his belt, pull his pants down a bit, take out his thing, and help him hold it towards the toilet.

Chen Song opened his mouth, pulled the muscles around his mouth, and tried hard to pronounce the words, but no sound came out. He felt anxious, ashamed and angry.

Gu Xingjue noticed Chen Song's movement and his whole body froze. He had been taking care of Chen Song for so long that he was too skilled to react for a moment and realized that Chen Song had woken up.

But........

Gu Xingjue lowered his eyes and looked at Chen Song's tender pink flesh, and was silent for a few seconds.

But he already has it, what should he do?

Gu Xingjue coughed twice, then immediately closed his eyes and said, "I'm closing my eyes. I won't look. You pee."

Chen Song: “…”

He was so angry that he didn't even feel like peeing.

Gu Xingjue closed his eyes and didn't urge him. He just held him and waited for him quietly.

Chen Song took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes helplessly. After about five minutes, Gu Xingjue finally heard the sound of gurgling water. When the sound stopped, Gu Xingjue said, "Then open your eyes."

Chen Song: “.......” Continue to close your eyes.

Gu Xingjue wiped him clean with a tissue, put his pants on, and finally carried him back to the bed and covered him with a quilt.

Chen Song kept his eyes closed throughout the whole process, as if he had not woken up in more than a year.

Gu Xingjue tucked the quilt in for him and asked, "Do you want to hear a bedtime story?"

Chen Song closed his eyes and ignored him. Gu Xingjue continued, "Then let's continue with the story we told last time. The story of the piglet diving."

Chen Song opened his eyes and glared at him. Gu Xingjue smiled and surrendered: "Okay, okay, I won't say anything. You go to sleep. I'll be watching over you. As soon as you open your eyes, you can see me."

Chen Song didn't believe it. Could it be that Gu Xingjue had just sat there without eating or drinking and was waiting? How could he see him anytime he woke up? However, Chen Song didn't bother to care whether it was true or not. He closed his eyes and continued to sleep.

He didn't want to listen to Gu Xingjue's stories. He had been disturbed for so long and finally woke up and could have a good sleep.

However, Chen Song closed his eyes but couldn't fall asleep. It was so quiet, he wasn't used to it. It seemed that only when Gu Xingjue chattered could he feel at ease and fall asleep.

He didn't know how long it had been, but there was no sound around him. He thought Gu Xingjue was gone, so he moved his eyelids. As soon as he opened his eyes, he heard Gu Xingjue's hoarse voice.

"What's wrong? Do you still want to go to the bathroom?" Gu Xingjue leaned over and asked.

Chen Song stared at Gu Xingjue's bloodshot eyes for two seconds, then closed them again.

"Can't sleep?" Gu Xingjue squatted beside his bed, "How about I tell you a story."

Chen Song didn't open his eyes to stare at him again, and Gu Xingjue continued to tell the story. Chen Song didn't think about those messy things anymore, and immersed in Gu Xingjue's voice, he slowly fell asleep.

The spring rain that had lasted for half a month in Country Y had finally stopped, but dark clouds still hung heavy over the sky, and the sky had not yet cleared. The sight of raindrops hanging on the glass windows made Chen Song feel uncomfortable, and he kept wanting to get up and wipe them away or open the window.

But these thoughts all started with—he wanted to get out.

After a week of continuous examinations, all the reports and results came back today. Aside from his physical weakness, all other indicators were normal. The doctor and Gu Xingjue both assured him that with diligent rehabilitation, he would be able to take care of himself again in six months, and lead a normal life in about a year.

Chen Song didn't find it inspiring; he simply felt that six months was a long time, exhausting, and cumbersome. The doctors enthusiastically helped him with his treatment, but the one who was most motivated and energetic was Gu Xingjue.

With Gu Xingjue's encouragement, Chen Song was no longer so uninterested, but the reconstruction process was more difficult than he had imagined.

Half a month passed, and he still couldn't speak. The only improvement was that his fingers could move, bend slightly, and slowly make a fist. However, it was very difficult. It often took him half a day to make a fist, and he would sweat all over.

Chen Song was a little annoyed. He thought he was a very patient man. He had been waiting for the first half of his life, but after he died once and woke up, he found that he was always easily angry and his patience had become very poor.

The negative emotions caused by the unsuccessful rehabilitation made Chen Song feel that waking up again was a mistake. He still didn't like this world at all, and he was also unhappy with taking care of Xing Jue. He wanted to roar, but he couldn't.

Chen Song finally understood. He had very little patience. What he hated most was waiting: waiting for the late bus, for a red light that lasted longer than his life, for the endless rain, for the cold winter to pass with the national reunion of the Spring Festival, for Chen Shengping to come home, for Yu Li to come home, for Gu Xingjue to come home, for them to love him.

No one indulges him to be willful, and he is afraid of being abandoned, so he can only endure and wait.

Now that he had been dead for a while, no one cared about him, not even his own death, so he released all the nature that had been suppressed deep in his heart.

But every time this happened, Gu Xingjue would hug him and whisper, "You must be very tired. Let's take a break and practice next time. You did a great job today too. Thank you for your hard work."

Gu Xingjue touched Chen Song's hard and protruding tentacles one by one, and his emotions stabilized.

The sky had finally cleared up in Country Y. This was Chen Song's first time seeing Country Y's blue skies. The sparse clouds on the horizon resembled small white hills. Outside the window, lush green leaves bathed in sunlight, the wind gently swaying the green leaves and flower bulbs, a breath of spring.

A figure blocked Chen Song's sight. Gu Xingjue walked to the window, opened it, and the spring breeze blew towards him with a cool and moist feeling.

After a moment, Gu Xingjue disappeared from his sight, leaving behind an even brighter spring scene.

"It can only be open for a while. The strong wind will make you feel cold. I'm afraid you'll catch a cold." Gu Xingjue sat back in the chair next to him, picked up the thermos box on the table and opened it. "Today we have century egg and lean meat porridge. Today's is different. I made it myself."

Chen Song's eyes moved slightly, and he looked back at him.

Gu Xingjue smiled at him and said, "Don't believe me, I've been secretly practicing for a long time. I only dared to give it to you after I succeeded. Although it's not as good as what you make, it tastes better than those made by foreigners."

Gu Xingjue opened the lid of the thermal box, took out a small bowl, stirred it with a spoon for a while, scooped a spoonful and blew it to cool a little, took a sip to test the temperature, and when it was just right, he handed it to Chen Song's mouth: "Try it."

Chen Song glanced at the white and glutinous porridge, then looked at Gu Xingjue.

Gu Xingjue paused, seeing his intention: "Want to eat by yourself?"

Chen Song blinked twice.

Chen Song has not been active in rehabilitation training these past two days. It's rare that he wants to eat by himself now. Gu Xingjue is somewhat happy.

Gu Xingjue put the porridge aside and pressed the button beside the bed. A small table stretched out from under the bed in front of Chen Song. Gu Xingjue put the porridge on the small table and looked at Chen Song. He was happy but also a little nervous, worried that Chen Song would be angry again if he was not satisfied with his cooking.

Gu Xingjue patted his head and encouraged him, "Take your time, don't rush. Stop if you feel tired."