Chapter 233 Asaha's Fantasy

I finally told Asahi my true feelings.

Starting with that sentence, I recounted all the deceptions I had committed since we met, as well as my various entanglements and emotional journey. I even revealed the truth about the red GPS bracelet and the secrets of using the number two small bowl as a last-minute blackmail tool.

Of course, there were many other things that didn't need to be said. But since I've already revealed my biggest secret, it would be impure to hold back now. Since I'm going to expose myself anyway, I should expose everything, even my insides. Ultimately, the reason I confessed to Asaho wasn't just because the lies I'd woven would be exposed sooner or later, but also because I couldn't tolerate my past lies to her. And now, this is a reckoning with my past.

After saying everything, I should await Asa's judgment. Will she dismiss me with disdain, or will she forgive and pardon me? I cannot know the answer beforehand; the unknown unease seems to have turned into a demonic hand gripping my heart. At the same time, I feel a sense of lightness throughout my body, as if many heavy burdens have finally been lifted from my shoulders.

There's no turning back now. Whatever response Asaho gives, I will face it head-on. Countless possibilities are swirling in my mind, and I believe I can handle any of the consequences.

However, it turns out that I may have been making assumptions.

After listening to my explanation, Ma Zao lowered her head and remained silent for a long time. I awaited her reply. I would welcome even a rebuke, as long as it broke this unbearable silence. However, her subsequent reaction exceeded any of my expectations.

"Zhuang Cheng, you're trying to comfort me, aren't you?" she said sullenly.

“…What?” I was stunned.

Comfort... Which of my words just now contained any element of comfort? Subconsciously, I reviewed everything I had said. Then, an inspiration struck me. I suddenly realized that I had likely made a huge misunderstanding at a crucial point.

“When you were talking to Fufeng earlier, he mentioned that you used to live a life completely free from strange occurrences. After hearing those words, I thought that if you hadn’t met me, you wouldn’t have ended up fighting against the Great Impermanence. Even if the world gets worse and worse, you might still be able to continue living a peaceful life in the future…” she said dejectedly. “To be honest, I was very sad at the time… I thought I was hiding it very well. You saw through my thoughts, that’s why you came to comfort me, right?”

“Wait, that’s not it. I really do crave adventure… I want to experience strange things, that’s why I want to be with you,” I quickly said.

“But how could such a thing be possible?” she said. “How could someone give up a perfectly good life and be so obsessed with pursuing danger and the bizarre?”

That's indeed hard to refute. Although it sounds strange to me, I know very well how rare people like myself are. There are plenty of fools in this world who unwittingly seek their own demise, but very few who knowingly venture into perilous situations and treat it as a "hobby." This image of a madman is probably less convincing than the "righteous and kind-hearted person" image I previously created for Asahi.

Especially considering that Asahi lived in a post-apocalyptic era, the most basic survival rule was to stay away from danger and the supernatural. Someone like me probably wouldn't even survive a day. She probably hadn't even heard of it, let alone seen it. The persuasiveness is reduced by another level.

I was so arrogant, so self-centered. I thought that as long as I told the truth, Ma would believe me. But a little thought reveals that in this world, it's not just about persuasiveness in getting people to believe your lies; persuasiveness is equally essential in getting people to believe your truth.

The real challenge lies in this very place. Perhaps this is the retribution for lying too much in the past. The boy who cried wolf in the fairy tale was so deceitful that when he finally told the truth, no one believed him anymore.

Fortunately, I had a sudden inspiration and immediately thought of a way to make Asaho believe me.

"Perhaps you find the existence of such a person quite unbelievable, but I really didn't lie. If you're not sure, you can ask Zhu Shi to help verify it. You know she has the ability to see through lies. I can teleport to her right now, and you can come with me. Then everything will come to light," I said.

“I see… Did you talk to Zhu Shi about it beforehand? You asked her to cooperate with you…” she said, her expression complicated.

“No, that’s not it…” I said.

“But if it’s not like that, wouldn’t things be contradictory?” she said.

"A contradiction?" I can't understand.

“Only bad things are destined to happen around me; I’m a jinx that only attracts disaster and danger,” she said. “I’ve heard a saying before, ‘Everyone has their own unique talents…’ So I’ve also thought that even if I only attract all sorts of bad things, maybe someone will need me…”

"But even if there are people who need me, they wouldn't need my jinx side. I can fight demons, repair items, and investigate intelligence; these are the useful parts of me."

"But you told me that although I am someone who inexplicably attracts bad things, in another era and another place, there just happened to be someone who liked to encounter bad things one after another, and I was very lucky to travel through time and space to his era and was very lucky to meet him... How could such a good thing happen to me?"

“Zhuang Cheng, I’m so happy that you don’t care if I attract danger and disaster and are willing to fight alongside me. For me, this is something I could only dream of, so…”

As she spoke, she hugged her knees and curled up in a ball on the bed, her voice trembling, and unease and fear appeared on her face.

It was only then that I realized the key issue might not be that my honest words lacked persuasiveness.

Even if what I just said was very persuasive, Mazao might not choose to believe me. Because she's afraid; she's afraid that someone could accept everything about her.

During her life of wandering in the apocalypse, she must have lost many things and suffered a lot. Therefore, she is no longer afraid of loss or hurt. What can truly hurt her heart is not the successive misfortunes, but rather good fortune.

Misfortune held no fear for her, for she knew how to deal with it. Only in the cold embrace of misfortune could she find peace. There, she needed not worry about losing anything, for she had nothing to begin with. Happiness, on the other hand, would burn her. Within her, peace and happiness appeared as opposing forces.

For her, true peace of mind means being free from fear.

Happiness, on the other hand, is terrifying.

...

In conclusion, it seems that my attempt to express my true feelings this time has unexpectedly ended in failure.

The unexpected part wasn't the failure itself, but the way it happened. I even considered the possibility that I wouldn't dare to tell the truth in the end, but I never considered the possibility that Ma Zao wouldn't believe it.

I sat down opposite Ma Zao.

"Ma Zao, what will it take for you to believe me?" I said.

“I don’t believe it. What you’re saying is too far-fetched and impossible,” Asaho said firmly.

“So, what if it’s hypothetical?” I asked.

"Assuming?" she asked.

“Let’s say you actually meet such a person,” I said.

“That assumption is invalid,” she said without hesitation.

“Didn’t you say before that someone was willing to fight alongside you? That’s something that only happens in dreams. Since we’re going to dream anyway, why not enhance the depth of our dreams? Dreams don’t need logic; anything imaginable can happen,” I said. “There are even divine seals in this world that can grant any wish. You don’t think your jinxed constitution can even surpass the power of a divine seal, do you?”

I paused briefly, then continued slowly, "If the Divine Seal suddenly made all the things I said before come true... what would you think?"

"Divine Seal..."

She looked at me suspiciously at first, but under my gentle guidance, she slowly lowered her head, as if imagining the scene I described.

"If, if such a person really did appear..." Her expression became lost in thought, "If someone could truly accept everything about me like that, then even if it meant giving up everything I had, I would..."

Then, as if suddenly waking from her reverie, she became very calm and continued, "...But how could there really be such a person? Even I have never dared to have such a convenient fantasy."

I'm so sorry, I'm just that kind of convenient person.

Also, you clearly thought about it just now, didn't you?

I gradually calmed down and began to think about how to convince Asaho. To be honest, I had absolutely no clue. It's very easy to question something; all you need to do is have a skeptical mindset. There's nothing in this world that can't be questioned. But it's incredibly difficult to completely prove something.

It wasn't enough to just make my words sound true; I had to create a situation that Asaho couldn't deny no matter what she did, leaving her completely speechless and with no choice but to believe that I was the one—the one who was willing to accept all her misfortunes and unhappiness and make her so happy that she was afraid.

I want to fulfill her dream that she wouldn't even dare to imagine.

(End of this chapter)