Chapter 582 Small Bowl 1

Xiao Wan said in a serious tone, "I remember everything clearly: who I am, where I came from, and where I am going."

"So...would it be convenient for you to tell me these things?" I asked.

"Of course." Xiao Wan nodded seriously.

"Should I leave?" Number Seven asked.

Xiao Wan glanced at Number Seven, thought for a moment, and said, "Although no one knew about these things until just now, they are not secrets that need to be hidden."

“However, since this is your private matter, I’ll leave now.” Number Seven pointed to the road sign in the distance outside the gas station. “I’ll stand there and wait for you to finish talking. I won’t eavesdrop on what you’re saying. Just call me when you’re done.”

Xiao Wan didn't stand on ceremony and politely said, "Thank you, Ms. Seven."

Number Seven nodded and walked to the road sign in the distance. Although her hearing was good enough to easily pick up any sound from our side at that distance, since she had said so, let's just assume she would temporarily become deaf.

Xiao Wan turned her face towards me and said, "Well then... I'll start talking now."

“I’m ready,” I said.

“First of all, Brother Zhuang Cheng, just as we have judged in the past, my true identity is not the daughter between you and Zhu Shi, but a person who has a close relationship with Zhu Shi and her mother Zhu Jiu.” Xiao Wan said, “I once speculated that I might be Zhu Jiu in her infant form in the post-apocalyptic era, while you seemed to have thought that I might be the dream incarnation of Zhu Shi… Both of these answers are actually correct, but neither is entirely correct.”

"So, you are both the infantile form of Zhu Jiu and the dream incarnation of Zhu Shi?" This answer was truly unexpected. "How is this possible?"

“Hmm… Strictly speaking, I can’t really be considered Zhu Jiu…” Xiao Wan seemed troubled about how to define herself, “… Anyway, please let me explain slowly.”

She seemed to take some time to organize her thoughts before she began to tell me her story.

Let's start from when Zhu Jiu entered the "Apocalyptic Era".

Xiao Wan now possesses the childhood memories of both Zhu Jiu and Zhu Shi. However, in her own way, both Zhu Jiu's and Zhu Shi's memories feel like reading a book to her, making it difficult for her to fully identify them as her own. But at least, she can recount the specific events that occurred in the past from the perspective of those involved.

As a sufferer of amnesia, Zhu Jiu's soul naturally entered this post-apocalyptic world from the past. Just like I did at the beginning, she quickly found herself in a life-or-death crisis in this bizarre and apocalyptic space-time.

Although born into a demon hunter family and having received systematic demon hunter training, Zhu Jiu doesn't possess any decent combat ability as a demon hunter. Evaluated using the Formation-Dwelling-Destruction-Void ranking system, she could barely qualify as a Dwelling-level demon hunter. Without the family heirloom, the Yama Sword, her combat strength is only slightly stronger than that of an ordinary person.

Yes, there are indeed Demon Hunters at the "Dwelling" level like her who have little combat power. Although I've always habitually used the Formation-Dwelling-Destruction-Void level system as a "system for evaluating combat power," the evaluation standard of this system is not combat power, but rather the distance traveled on the path of cultivation. The "Dwelling" level symbolizes that even if a Demon Hunter stops cultivating in the future, they will not automatically regress to an ordinary person; it represents a state of truly establishing oneself in the realm of Demon Hunters.

Even possessing magical power doesn't guarantee the ability to unleash attack and defense capabilities beyond those of ordinary people; one must first convert these abilities through "spells." To strengthen the body, one must first learn "spells for strengthening the body"; to summon flames, one must first learn "spells for summoning flames."

The ability to manifest supernatural powers with a mere thought, simply because of immense magical power, is mostly limited to those at the Great Completion level or higher—a realm beyond the common knowledge of demon hunters. Zhu Jiu's personality destined her to be incompatible with most spells related to "combat"; she is more suited to becoming a White Impermanence, eliminating strange beings through non-combat means.

Fortunately, even the weak have their ways of surviving. After a series of setbacks and with a crucial element of luck, Zhu Jiu ultimately managed to persevere, narrowly escaping death. However, she also had her bad luck: she didn't encounter any other survivors besides herself. What awaited her after the danger was not safety, but an even more desperate situation.

Madness began to erode her soul.

Falling into a situation where no one calls her name and she is completely alone, the personality built on social relationships can easily begin to decompose over time. Even so-called shut-ins usually maintain contact with society through the internet and logistics; in the "apocalyptic era," even such basic conditions are lacking. True loneliness slowly erodes the surface of Zhu Jiu's mind, and madness seeps in through tiny voids, twisting her soul.

After some time, Zhu Jiu forgot her name and her past, wandering aimlessly in the afterlife. Some time later, the phenomenon of karmic transformation inevitably occurred to her, and she began to transform from a human into a monster.

However, a wish, or rather an obsession, still lingered in her heart. This thought was so deeply rooted in her consciousness that even at the very last moment—when all other thoughts were to be uprooted—its profound trace had not been completely eradicated from her heart.

Meanwhile, the "certain spirit" attached to her also became active, joining Zhu Jiu's transformation into a karmic demon...

"—'Some kind of spirituality'?"

Hearing this, I asked curiously, "Then what is it?"

“That’s the part of Zhu Jiu’s daughter, Zhu Shi, that she lost in her childhood… or rather, that she voluntarily gave up. It carries Zhu Shi’s longing for love, her innocent dreams, her weak and naive childlike heart… all elements unrelated to ‘becoming a capable demon hunter,’ symbolizing a part of her childhood,” Xiao Wan said.

"Like the medals that Lu Youxun discarded in the past... like the 'dream of realizing justice' attached to those medals?" I asked, "Why would that kind of obsession cling to Zhu Jiu?"

I mentioned Lu Chan's matter to Xiao Wan before the Void Realm shattered.

Lu Youxun once abandoned his medal as a "National First-Class Demon Hunter," and Zhu Shi also abandoned all his beloved dolls in his childhood. In my opinion, these are two corresponding events. Since Lu Youxun's abandoned dream and obsession would be attached to that medal, then Zhu Shi's abandoned childhood obsession should also be attached to those dolls.

This is also my biggest reason why I believe "Zhu Shi's dream incarnation couldn't possibly appear in the afterlife"... However, if it actually resides within Zhu Jiu, then things are a different story. Zhu Shi's childhood obsession has actually entered the afterlife in this form...

"Because for Zhu Shi during her childhood, the first symbol of her childhood was not those dolls, but her mother who allowed her to live a naive yet happy life and who doted on her in every way," Xiao Wan said.

Upon hearing this, I remembered what Zhu Shi had said in the past.

"For me, the most profound and warmest memory of my childhood is probably the memory of holding my favorite stuffed animal in my mother's arms."

Xiao Wan seemed to recall something, and after a short pause, she continued: "...Zhu Shi abandoned all her dolls as a symbol of bidding farewell to her childhood, and her obsession thus became attached to these dolls."

"After that, Zhu Jiu secretly collected all the dolls that her daughter had abandoned and hid them in a white box, taking good care of and maintaining them."

"Zhu Jiu's childhood was devoid of warmth and happiness, so she hoped that at least her daughter could have a warm and happy life. This might be a kind of transference psychology that parents often have towards their children. Even though Zhu Shi's childhood has undergone such a dramatic change, Zhu Jiu still secretly hopes that one day she can return all the happiness and these dolls to her beloved daughter."

"In this process, the obsession attached to those dolls gradually shifted to Zhu Jiu, the 'first object,' and later followed Zhu Jiu into this 'apocalyptic era,' eventually being drawn into Zhu Jiu's karmic demonization process."

"Speaking of which, Brother Zhuang Cheng, do you still remember the definition of 'incarnation'?"

I nodded.

The ability to manifest a aspect of one's soul as an "avatar" was originally a power reserved for deities. The young girl Lu Chan's "dream avatar" was only made possible by the power of a fragment of a divine seal. While children of divinity can also use the power of "avatars," they cannot manifest them independently and must rely on a spirit-summoning vessel to do so.

Based on this knowledge, I naturally deduced the next point of speculation: "So, Zhu Jiu became Zhu Shi's childhood dream... and became the vessel for the spirit of her daughter's childhood self?"

“Calling it a container might not be entirely accurate. Because the process of karmic transformation completely reconstructs the soul of the person involved, eventually turning it into a bizarre shape,” Xiao Wan said. “A normal spirit-summoning container might be like a complete glass cup used to catch water. But Zhu Jiu at that time was as if the cup itself had been shattered into glass shards, completely mixed with the water.”

"And just when she was about to be completely rebuilt into a demon, Asahaya appeared."

(End of this chapter)