Chapter 583 Small Bowl 2

"When Sister Mazao found Zhu Jiu, Zhu Jiu had already lost her human form," Xiao Wan said. "I don't know the details of this matter very well; I only heard it from Sister Mazao later. She said that because the other party didn't seem to have completely fallen into the karmic demon state, she wanted to try to pull her back with the power of return."

"The power of return is worthy of the planet's natural will's attention, or perhaps it is precisely because it has received such attention that a mysterious force has strengthened it? Although there is no way to reset the fully formed demon into a survivor, Zhu Jiu was probably right at this critical point when she was restored to human form by Sister Mazao."

"However, the specific image presented by this human is not Zhu Jiu, but Zhu Shi in his childhood... which is me."

"Recovering memories lost due to madness is a miracle that can only be achieved by the Three Lives Stone Powder, a realm that even the power of return cannot reach. Therefore, after waking up, I naturally had no memories of the past, and I had no idea why I was there."

"At that time, Asaha-nee was probably in a period of time after leaving Fukuinin and experiencing the betrayal and alienation of everyone. She was also alone and did not know who she was or where she came from, so she formed a duo with me. We spent a long time together until we were separated by the Great Demon of Disaster."

I mentally processed this information and then asked, "Why did you appear as 'Zhu Shi in her childhood'? Since you were restored by Asahi's power of return, you should have the original appearance of Zhu Jiu after the restoration, right?"

"Is it because Zhu Jiu has become the vessel for Zhu Shi's dream incarnation? But even so, shouldn't it appear as the vessel for the dream incarnation, but rather as the vessel for the spirit?"

Whether the water in the cup is salty or sweet, the shape of the cup itself will not change. According to the records I found in Luoshan, the humans who become vessels for the Great Impermanence or the incarnation of the Son of God generally change in temperament and speech, not in appearance.

Even if the appearance of some spirit-summoning vessels is altered, it's not because they've become vessels, but because the incarnation entering those vessels manually changes them using illusion or other powers. The example is Chang'an—although Yin Yue is neither the Great Impermanence nor a child of divinity, she forcibly achieved a similar spirit-summoning phenomenon using her extraordinary abilities, and the reason she could conjure the appearance of that demon girl was also due to her illusionary power.

Could it be because the afterlife is a spiritual world, and therefore one's appearance reflects one's heart, causing the spirit vessel to change automatically under special circumstances? That's my speculation.

Xiao Wan, however, gave a slightly different answer.

"I can only speculate about this, but I believe my conclusion is the truth. My soul tells me the same thing," Xiaowan said. "Zhu Jiu's wish stems from both her love for her daughter and her desire to make up for her own shortcomings—hoping that her daughter could take her place and live a happy and fulfilling life. The fact that she transforms into a vessel at the moment of her soul's collapse, allowing her daughter's dreams to reside within her, is also due to this factor."

"Therefore, when the power of return attempted to reassemble Zhu Jiu into a human, Zhu Jiu's soul relinquished its place in this world to its daughter."

"As a result, Zhu Jiu's soul was essentially broken down into materials during the process of demonization, and then resynthesized into Zhu Shi in his childhood during the process of recovery. In a sense, it can be said that he resurrected Zhu Shi in his childhood by sacrificing himself."

Xiao Wan looked at her palm, paused for a moment, and then continued, "This power of the True Position Law of Heaven and Earth is the proof. This is a power that Zhu Jiu does not possess."

"The dream incarnation attached to Zhu Jiu did not originate from the current Zhu Shi, but from Zhu Shi when he was still a child of divinity. Although it is only a side of his soul self, it is undoubtedly also a child of divinity."

"To resurrect someone, one must either meet extremely stringent conditions or expend extremely powerful energy... Throughout history, there have been numerous examples of resurrecting someone at the expense of their immediate family. Zhu Jiu can be said to have accidentally fulfilled the requirements of the resurrection ritual."

Yin Yue once attempted to revive herself at the cost of her own son, while Zhu Jiu used herself as the material to give birth to her own daughter again.

Both mothers were trying to recreate life, but they chose opposite paths.

“Of course, from the perspective of the resurrection ritual, this practice also has many problems.” Xiaowan continued, “First of all, Zhu Shi herself, who is the object of resurrection, did not really die. Even if we say that ‘the weak her has died,’ it is somewhat far-fetched.”

"Secondly, if one wants to resurrect the Son of God, simply using a direct relative as the price does not constitute an equivalent exchange, unless that direct relative is the Son of God himself."

"Thanks to this, I have now become an individual who inherits the attributes of both, yet is not both. I possess the natural laws of Zhu Shi in his childhood, as well as the high intelligence and personality of Zhu Jiu... If I had to define myself, I would probably be the 'incarnation of an out-of-control dream'."

I pondered the word, "out of control...?"

“A normal incarnation of a dream should have its own mission. Just like the girl Lu Chan that you met before, Brother Zhuang Cheng, her mission was to return to Lu Youxun and make him become Lu Chan again. Even if she disappears, it doesn’t matter.” Xiao Wan said, “And my mission is to let Zhu Shi in the real world live the happy and fulfilling life she hoped for in her childhood—this is both Zhu Jiu’s obsession and Zhu Shi’s dream in her childhood.”

"However, due to the interference of madness, I even forgot my original mission. And in the process of spending time with Asahina, I also developed a 'wish of my own' that I shouldn't have as the embodiment of dreams, which is to wish that Asahina could live a happy and fulfilling life."

"……I see."

Gradually, I digested all the information and came to my own conclusions.

Ultimately, the small bowl is still a "special embodiment of a dream".

Her underlying mental structure is neither human nor inhuman.

Human beings are multifaceted beings, possessing both light and darkness, selflessness and selfishness, with a mind where purity and impurity coexist, a three-dimensional soul. However, Xiaowan is an existence where only one aspect is extremely emphasized; her mind is pure and extreme.

That's why she could say she would stand by my side no matter what happened, and carry that commitment out without any distraction; she could also make a pure prayer 24 hours a day, as if it were breathing, something that no human could ever do, so that the power of blessing would always be with me.

She was like a girl who stepped out of a fantasy story, a beautiful yet ethereal light.

"...Brother Zhuang Cheng, have I disappointed you?" she asked softly.

I countered, "Why do you say that?"

A hint of unease flickered across her face as she said, "...Because I'm not truly human; I'm more like a strange entity, a phenomenon, a malfunctioning automated program. Don't you feel like you've invested your feelings in the wrong person? Perhaps I'm not worth your affection..."

“You certainly can’t call yourself human,” I said.

She lowered her head in disappointment.

“But Xiaowan, why do you hope that Mazao will be happy and fulfilled in the future?” I asked. “It’s your own wish. No one asked you to think this way; it’s a wish that you have on your own, isn’t it?”

“...Yes,” she admitted.

“Then that’s enough. Whatever your origins, you are a life with your own independent will. I will never allow anyone to deny that,” I said. “At the same time, I will not take back my words. No matter what happens, I will be your partner, the embodiment of your dreams.”

She stared blankly at my face, "Brother Zhuang Cheng..."

"And..." I changed the subject, "I don't really care whether you're human or not. In fact, if you were a non-human monster, I would like you even more."

"Don't say such weird things when the atmosphere is so nice," Xiaowan complained.

I did it on purpose. If the atmosphere is too good, I can't help but get shy. So this is a way of covering it up. Xiaowan has such a strong intuition; will she be able to read my mind? I hope I've managed to hide it well.

“Now it’s your turn, Little Bowl,” I said. “How do you see yourself, and how do you see me?”

Although I could observe that her self-perception had not changed due to the recovery of her memories, I still wanted to get that answer from her.

In response to my question, Xiaowan answered with her actions.

She stepped closer, stretched out her arms, hugged my waist tightly, and gently rubbed her face against my body.

“I’m still your little bowl,” she said softly.

-

Xiao Wan told me her true origins, and I chose to treat her as always. But I knew very well that truly "as always" was impossible. Even if it hadn't yet surfaced, as time went on, certain real-world conflicts arising from Xiao Wan's true identity were destined to stand in our way.

Even if I have to face the test of reality, my vow to Xiaowan will not change.

As for the present, I think I should probably call back Number Seven, who's been avoiding suspicion by standing at a distance.

However, just before I opened my mouth, I suddenly remembered something I hadn't asked yet, so I said to Xiaowan, "By the way, Xiaowan... you said before that you could only answer why Yama, the Lord of the Gospel Court, knew you were the Son of God after you regained your memories... but I didn't hear any similar clues from the whole thing."

Perhaps due to the shock of regaining all her memories, Xiaowan herself had obviously forgotten about this question. She only remembered it after I brought it up, and then answered: "No clue is the biggest clue. This means that the information was not leaked from my past self."

"In this way, the list of suspects can be reduced to just a few people. The answer is obvious."

(End of this chapter)