Chapter 39

Meng Jing rolled up his sleeves, washed his handkerchief, and lay on the ground wiping it haphazardly.

He was dizzy and his breathing was still unstable. The handkerchief was wet and felt like a block of ice, so cold that it hurt to hold it in his hand.

A cold wind howled outside the window, rushing through the door and into the room. Meng Jing shivered, pulling his outer robe tighter around himself. He brushed his fingers against his nose, and a faint, sweet fragrance wafted up.

As he smelled the fragrance, he vaguely recalled that his mother used to hold him, and she had a similar scent, like a delicate orchid, slightly sweet. Wrapped in the cold wind of deep winter, it didn't feel icy but rather had a soft, warm feeling, just like his mother's gentle embrace.

Meng Jing stared blankly at the ground, his mind replaying the image of his parents before their deaths. They used their bodies to brace against the boulder, and mouthfuls of blood fell onto his face, still warm. The blood contained hot tears, smearing his face as if someone had poured a bucket of scalding water over his head, making it painful and hard for him to breathe.

"Live on...my son...live well..."

The weak and powerless words still echoed in his ears. Meng Jing raised his hands to hug himself, his fingertips tracing the fabric of his clothes again and again.

The floor, clean and shiny, reflected his blank face. A moment later, a drop of water hit the ground, blurring his distraught appearance and splashing up tiny water droplets that landed sporadically on the back of his numb hand.

A sobbing sound rang out, restrained yet sorrowful. Meng Jing clenched her fists tightly, collapsed to the ground, and curled up into a ball.

A moment later, light footsteps sounded outside the building, as if someone had arrived.

Meng Jing was startled, quickly wiped his eyes and turned his back. Hearing the footsteps, it seemed they had reached the door, so he forced himself to remain calm and turned back.

"What are you doing here?" Meng Jing asked indifferently, looking at the person standing by the door.

Yin Qiu, carrying a wooden bucket and a handkerchief, walked silently to the other side and bent down to wipe the floor.

Meng Jing, her mind still in turmoil, said to Yin Qiu's retreating figure with red eyes, "Get out."

Yin Qiu continued moving without saying a word.

"I told you to get out!" Meng Jing threw the handkerchief down angrily. "Are you deaf?!"

Yin Qiu then spoke up, "Why should I go out?"

Meng Jing glared at her: "Stop pretending to be a good person! I don't want your pity!"

Seeing his red eyes, Yin Qiu knew he must have cried. She felt a little bad and said calmly, "The teacher punished us by making us mop the floor, but he didn't say that each person should only mop one building. I'm not pitying you."

Meng Jing sat on the ground, speechless for a moment. He watched Yin Qiu bustling around, quickly wiping the other side, before he parted his lips slightly and said, "I won't thank you."

Yin Qiu said, "I don't need your gratitude."

Meng Jing then fell silent, simply slumping to the ground and staring intently at Yin Qiu.

Seeing his eyes filled with tears, his nose red from crying, and his throat bobbing, clearly he was suppressing his emotions and didn't want to show weakness in front of her. Yin Qiu paused, then finally couldn't help but sigh, "Meng Jing... there are some things I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I'm also very sorry about your parents, but I can't do anything about it, I don't know what to do." She choked up as she said this, lowering her head, "I didn't want things to turn out like this..."

Upon hearing these words, Meng Jing burst into tears, unable to hold back her grievances any longer, and wailed, "But my parents... my parents are dead, I have no parents anymore..."

He cried his heart out, as if to vent all the pain in his heart, and said bitterly, "Everyone here bullies me, everyone dislikes me, everyone thinks I'm being unreasonable, and that I'm deliberately making things difficult for you. Although I know why they hate me, you have Uncle Man's love, but what about me? I have nothing! You can be taken down the mountain by Uncle Man to play, but I can hardly even see Senior Sister Lu. Has anyone asked me if I'm hurt? Has anyone asked me if I'm suffering?"

“You are good at studying and skilled in martial arts. Everyone in the courtyard praises you. But whenever they see me, it's like they've seen some kind of ghost. They mock me to my face and say behind my back that I have a strange temper and that I'm the one who caused my parents' deaths. Who can I complain to? All the blame is mine. I should die and be thrown into the eighteenth level of hell so that you can have some peace and quiet!”

"The reason I came to Yunhua Palace was to learn martial arts and take revenge," Meng Jing sobbed, covering his head with his hands, "but I'm a useless cripple. I'll never be able to wield a sword in this life. You think I hate you, but of course I know I should hate the Ziwei Sect more. But I can't learn martial arts, so how can I avenge my parents? I can only vent my anger on you... I can only hold onto you... and now I can't even beat you. What's the point of me living... what's the point..."

He spoke softer and softer until only indistinct guttural sounds remained. He was helpless and desperate, curled up into a small ball, shivering violently in the cold wind.

Yin Qiu stared at him blankly, opening her mouth several times as if to speak, but unable to utter a word.

Yin Qiu had never considered what Meng Jing was thinking, and hearing his tearful account now, she couldn't help but feel shocked. But wasn't the truth exactly as he described?

Both Yin Qiu and Meng Jing are orphans and have no relatives, but at least Yin Qiu has Man Jiangxue and now her friend Fu Xiang. Although she is not good at dealing with people, all her classmates in the palace are extremely friendly to her. Meng Jing, on the other hand, is only close to Lu Huaiwei. However, Lu Huaiwei is seriously injured and does not allow others to visit her at will. He is also regarded as an oddity by the disciples, and no one is willing to befriend him. He goes about his days alone, like a ghost, drifting around and only being disliked by others.

Once upon a time, Yin Qiu went through the same thing. An orphan without parents, she was bullied and could only endure the malicious humiliation from others, powerless to fight back. But she met Man Jiangxue and had a new life, which gradually made her forget those pains.

But what is pain? It's a scar etched into your bones, negligible on ordinary days, but when it flares up in the dead of night, it causes excruciating pain that can never be completely erased.

When Yin Qiu first arrived at Yunhua Palace, she was also bewildered and lost. She felt lonely and afraid in the unfamiliar environment. She forced herself to try to integrate into the place and use the hard-won opportunity to study to fill the emptiness in her heart, so that she would not think about those sad things and could be as happy as possible.

Meng Jing had no choice; he was forced to come here. He wanted revenge, but he suffered from a heart ailment and could not learn martial arts. Because of his violent temper, he could not receive kind care and warmth. His heart was riddled with holes, and he could only wrap himself in a hard shield to protect himself.

His pain came too suddenly, and he had no time to process it properly. Filled with resentment and grief, he could only show his worst side to those around him, but the result was the opposite.

·

The hall remained silent for a long time, save for Meng Jing's restrained and suppressed sobs, which sounded particularly desolate amidst the rising and falling wind.

Yin Qiu tried to comfort him several times, but felt that it would be useless to say anything at this time. Her expression was heavy. After thinking it over and over, she finally stood up and approached Meng Jing, saying, "If you really want to avenge your parents, there are actually more ways than just learning martial arts."

Meng Jing looked up at her, his voice hoarse, and said, "What do you mean..."

"The Master once said," Yin Qiu said earnestly, "All other professions are inferior, only studying is superior. If you can't learn martial arts, then study hard. If you study well, you can still be of great use."

Meng Jing stared blankly.

“Nothing is insurmountable,” Yin Qiu said again, “but the premise is that you must pull yourself together and stop wasting your studies. It’s not easy to get into school. When I was homeless, I dreamed of studying. Now that my wish has come true, I’m very happy and I’m working hard. First, I want to repay my uncle’s kindness, and second, I want to be true to myself. Your parents in heaven certainly wouldn’t want to see you so dejected. Even if we take a step back, Senior Sister Lu is good to you, right? If she gets better and hears that you’ve been misbehaving at school, wouldn’t she be very disappointed?”

Meng Jing was stunned for a long time: "But I can't kill people while studying. I want to avenge my parents. How can I do that by just writing books..."

Yin Qiu patiently said, "Haven't you heard the stories of those great generals leading troops into battle? Generals are highly skilled in martial arts and gallop across the battlefield, but they always have a resourceful strategist by their side, just like the sect leader. She doesn't easily leave the palace or go down the mountain. She just instructs her senior brothers and sisters to do things. She can use strategies to deal with the Ziwei Sect while staying in the palace. If she hadn't read a lot of books, how could she have such a mind?"

As he listened to each word, Meng Jing's mind stirred for no apparent reason, and a small, faint flame seemed to ignite before his eyes.

Even if one cannot learn martial arts, as long as one studies hard, one can still take revenge and deal with the Ziwei Sect.

Meng Jing's throat tightened, and he looked at Yin Qiu in silence.

In the flickering candlelight, Yin Qiu was crouching, her forehead damp with sweat and her wisps of hair still wet. Her face was as delicate as celadon, fair and clean, and she was very beautiful, especially her eyes, which were truly one in a million. The outer corners of her eyes were slightly upturned, and her double eyelids were so deep that they seemed to be carefully sculpted. Beneath her long, fan-like eyelashes, her pupils were clear and bright, like a spring reflecting the hazy moon.

Meng Jing had never looked at Yin Qiu up close before. In the past, he had mostly seen her with a haggard and sickly appearance. Only now did Meng Jing realize that Yin Qiu actually looked like this. Recalling the little girl lying on the bed, barely breathing, the person in front of him had undergone a complete transformation.

After a long silence, Meng Jing asked in a hoarse voice, "Why are you telling me all this?"

Yin Qiu said, "Because I heard it."

Meng Jing looked puzzled: "What did you hear...?"

“When we were at Sangyu Mountain, you told your parents that you wanted to get a doctor to treat my illness,” Yin Qiu said. “I heard that.”

Meng Jing's eyelashes trembled slightly, and tears welled up in her eyes.

“At that time, although I was very ill, I was not in a coma all day long. There were times when I was lucid,” Yin Qiu said. “I heard you arguing with my parents, asking them to feed me and cover me with two more blankets. You also said that you would rather die from the illness than use the money you earned from killing to see a doctor. I have always kept these words in my heart, which is why I have always tolerated you.”

After saying all that, Yin Qiu looked into Meng Jing's eyes and asked, half questioning and half expectant, "So, you're actually not a bad person at heart, right?"

Meng Jing looked back at Yin Qiu, then at himself reflected in Yin Qiu's eyes. He choked back a sob, and suddenly burst into tears once again.

"It's all my fault... I should have done everything I could to stop them. If I had persuaded them to send you away, none of this would have happened..."

Yin Qiu looked up at the carvings on the roof beam and said softly, "But it has already happened, and there is no way to undo it. If I could, I would also hope that my parents would not have had that accident back then, but that is impossible. You were protected by your parents for more than ten years, but I never even saw my parents' faces. But I still survived. You can do it too."

Meng Jing closed his red, swollen, and sore eyes, and said with a sense of loss, "Then don't you hate me... I was so mean to you before," he wiped away his tears fiercely, and continued, "I hit you, I cursed you, I vented all my resentment on you, how can you still talk to me so calmly? Shouldn't you take advantage of the fact that no one is here to get your revenge on me?"

Yin Qiu twitched her lips and shook her head: "What are yours compared to that? I've been cursed at with far worse words and beaten far worse. Compared to that, you're nothing." She smiled bitterly and continued, "You probably can't imagine how miserable I was before. Every day I hoped someone would come to save me, and every day I was disappointed again. I gradually learned to swallow my anger and to give in to things. And it wasn't just me; all the girls I used to know went through the same thing."

Meng Jing was shaken and speechless once again.

After a long while, he tore off his outer robe and handed it to Yin Qiu, saying, "You may leave now..."

Yin Qiu scrutinized his expression: "I told you, I'm not pitying you. The Master punished us all together."

“You don’t need to say anything, I know what you’re trying to say,” Meng Jing said. “Do your own thing, I don’t need your help, and besides… I also want to be alone for a while.”

Hearing that his tone was no longer as fierce as usual, Yin Qiu secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

This time, she has opened Meng Jing's heart a little, and their relationship should be able to ease up. She doesn't expect to become friends with Meng Jing, but at least they shouldn't be enemies. Even if they just pass by each other and treat each other like air, it's better than the previous situation where they would exchange harsh words whenever they met.

Yin Qiu felt relieved and immediately felt much lighter. She got up and saw that Meng Jing was hanging his head and had no reaction, so she didn't say anything more and walked straight out of the building.

"Were your parents also killed by the Ziwei Sect?" Suddenly, Meng Jing's voice came again.

Yin Qiu paused, then said, "Yes."

Meng Jing then asked, "Do you want to avenge them?"

"I didn't want to before."

"Now?"

“Now…” Yin Qiu looked at the snow falling in the night sky, recalling the desolation of Liucang Mountain, and after a moment of silence said, “I don’t know.”

“If I were you, I would risk my life to kill everyone in the Ziwei Sect,” Meng Jing staggered to his feet, but didn’t look at Yin Qiu. “Since you can learn martial arts, don’t waste it.”

Yin Qiu unconsciously clenched her palms. She turned her head to the side and saw Meng Jing carrying a wooden bucket, walking up to the second floor step by step. His thin back was as fragile as a piece of paper.

Only after Meng Jing's figure disappeared from sight did Yin Qiu drag her tired body toward the disciples' courtyard.

·

When I returned to the courtyard, it was already past midnight.

Because of the snow, there weren't many people lingering in the courtyard, and most of the candles in the disciples' rooms had gone out. Yin Qiu pushed open the door and saw a food box wrapped in cotton cloth on the table. Inside was a soup and two dishes that were still warm, along with a small note left for her by Fu Xiang.

Looking at the food, Yin Qiu thought of Meng Jing still cleaning the floor in the library and not knowing when he would return. Surely no one would leave him any food. Her heart ached and she felt an urge to cry.

After eating, Yin Qiu was too weak to take a bath, so she fetched hot water to wash up. Then she blew out the lamp, opened half a window, and lay down on the couch fully clothed to sleep.

As midnight approached, Yin Qiu suddenly woke up and looked out the window. Just then, Gongzi Fan fell from mid-air, still holding a small pebble in his hand.

"You were waiting for me?" Gongzi Fan seemed somewhat surprised.

“Yes,” Yin Qiu said, “you said you would come.”

Gongzi Fan then climbed in through the window without saying a word and asked, "So, what's your decision?"

Yin Qiu said, "Tell me first, what is your relationship with my mother?"

Gongzi Fan looked at her and said, "I fell in love with your mother at first sight. I like her."

Yin Qiu looked up in surprise.

“But she doesn’t like me,” said Gongzi Fan. “She married someone else.”

Yin Qiu was skeptical: "How can you prove it?"

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me so easily,” Gongzi Fan smiled and took out a small bamboo tube from his sleeve. “Take a look at this.”

Yin Qiu took it, opened it, and found a small note, about two fingers wide, with two lines of tiny characters written on it, which looked like some kind of poem.

Yin Qiu asked with a slight embarrassment, "What did you write?"

Gongzi Fan recited: "You ask when I will return, but there is no set date; the autumn rain in Bashan swells the pond at night."

Yin Qiu pondered the meaning of the poem for a moment and said, "She wrote it for you?"

Gongzi Fan nodded: "At that time, Man Dong was away on a mission for her sect. I wrote to her to ask about her situation, and she replied with this letter."

Yin Qiu immediately opened the cabinet and took out the "Purple Sound Heart Sutra". After comparing it, it was indeed her mother's handwriting.

"Do you believe me now?" Gongzi Fan asked.

Yin Qiu looked him over repeatedly, and finally asked, "Are you from the Ruyi Sect?"

Gongzi Fan paused for a moment: "It used to be."

Yin Qiu said, "So you were lying to me before. You didn't come to Yunhua Palace to poach anyone. You came here specifically to find me."

Gongzi Fan did not deny it.

Yin Qiu said, "So you came to me just to teach me kung fu?"

Gongzi Fan said, "Like Man Jiangxue, I also have an obligation to take care of you for Man Dong. If she hadn't gotten there first, I originally wanted to take you to Fanxin Valley. Now that you've come to Yunhua Palace, it's not bad to stay by Man Jiangxue's side. But I still can't rest easy. After all, the Ziwei Sect also wants you. Man Jiangxue can't protect you all the time. You will encounter many unpredictable things in the future. If I can teach you some skills and train you to be successful, then I won't be afraid that you will encounter the Ziwei Sect one day and have no power to resist."

Yin Qiu still had doubts and asked, "According to you, this should be a good thing. Even if my martial uncle finds out, he shouldn't stop me. So why won't you let me tell everyone?"

“Because nobody knows who I am,” Gongzi Fan said. “People in the martial arts world only know that I am the Valley Master of Fanxin Valley, but they don’t know my relationship with Mandong and Ruyi Sect. Once it’s exposed, Ziwei Sect will come looking for trouble. Even Manjiangxue doesn’t recognize me. Besides… I’ve always wanted to find out why Mandong disappeared back then. Some things should be kept secret to avoid unnecessary complications.”

Yin Qiu understood.

“I’ve said everything I can,” said Gongzi Fan. “Now it’s up to you to choose.”

Yin Qiu fell silent.

Even if she didn't want to avenge her parents, the Ziwei Sect would never give up. Just as Gongzi Fan said, even with Man Jiangxue around, Yin Qiu was still in danger. If she were ever captured by the Ziwei Sect and couldn't wait for Man Jiangxue to rescue her, she would have to rely on herself.

However, without excellent martial arts skills, it's just wishful thinking to try and defeat the Ziwei Sect.

Man Jiangxue had effortlessly defeated Wen Chaoyu and was capable of contending with the Ziwei Sect, but Yin Qiu could not; she was still too weak and not strong enough.

After a moment of silence, Yin Qiu finally made up her mind and solemnly said, "Okay, I'll learn martial arts from you."