28. Variations on a Theme by Haydn

◎I don't dislike you, I admire you.◎

Ms. Ma has vomited two or three times recently. The doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong, and finally referred her to perimenopause, prescribed some medicine to regulate her blood and qi, and advised her to keep a cheerful mood.

“If you’re in a bad mood, you should tell me,” Liang Chuling said to Ms. Ma.

She still has a childlike mentality. When she's in a bad mood, why would she bluntly say "I'm in a bad mood" to everyone?

Ms. Ma wanted to laugh as she listened: "I'm not in a bad mood. Even if I am, it's perimenopause that makes me feel bad, not the other way around, you idiot."

Liang Chuling didn't argue back when she was scolded. She took out her phone to check the menopausal period and the menopausal symptoms. When she saw those symptoms, she felt a headache and also felt sorry for her mother.

She couldn't understand, so she could only say again, "Don't be upset, I won't do anything dangerous again." Then she remembered that Liang's father hadn't been home for several months and wondered if it would affect her mother, so she added, "Don't be angry with my dad either, he was never a good person to begin with."

Ms. Ma burst out laughing: "I'm really not angry with him. As long as I can spend his money, why would I be angry with him? He's not a good person, but his money is a good thing. You should spend more of it too."

Liang Chuling nodded silently.

Liang Chuling accompanied him back from the hospital, carrying a bag of medicine. As the car pulled up downstairs, Liang Chuling could see Li Xun standing at the door from afar.

He was wearing a down jacket, without a hat, his hair was a little messy from the wind, his hands were in his pockets, and he was quiet. It was unclear how long he had been waiting.

After the car came to a stop, Liang Chuling helped Ms. Ma out of the car.

Li Xun saw them and also noticed the medicine in Liang Chuling's hand: "Auntie, how are you feeling?"

Ms. Ma looked at him, then at her daughter who seemed a little uncomfortable beside her: "It's nothing serious. Don't stand at the door, come inside, it's cold outside."

The three of them entered the house one after the other. The warm air from the heater was comforting.

Aunt Zhang was coming out of the kitchen when she saw Li Xun. She smiled and said, "Little Xun is here? Perfect timing. I made some white fungus soup. Have a bowl to warm yourselves up."

Liang Chuling has always had a good appetite, and the soup wasn't enough to fill her stomach, so Aunt Zhang fried a steak for her separately, cut it up, and brought it to her.

"I knew you wouldn't be enough," Aunt Zhang said, giving her a reproachful look.

Ms. Ma drank only half a bowl of water before saying she was tired and got up to go back to her room to rest. Aunt Zhang tidied up the kitchen, leaving the space for the two young people.

Liang Chuling forked the largest piece and placed it in front of Li Xun: "You're definitely not full either."

Li Xun looked at the unusual piece of flesh and found it inexplicably funny, laughing nonstop.

"What are you laughing at? If you're not going to eat it, give it back to me." Liang Chuling was baffled.

"It's nothing, I'll eat, I'll eat."

After they finished eating, the two moved to the living room.

Chestnut rubbed against Liang Chuling's feet, circled Li Xun twice, and finally jumped onto the sofa. Liang Chuling pointed at Chestnut's nose and mouth with her finger, beckoning Chestnut to come and pounce on her. Before Chestnut could pounce, she stopped in time, teasing the kitten!

Liang Chuling decided to stop running away and looked at Li Xun: "Li Xun."

"Hmm?" Li Xun turned his head to look at her.

“I already know that you have done a lot for me and Zhou Xu. It was wrong of me to avoid you when you came to me before. I was too arbitrary and acted impulsively.”

She put "me and Zhou Xu" together when she spoke.

Li Xun paused in stroking the chestnut, no longer looking at her, and lowered his eyelids.

He couldn't feel any goodwill towards Zhou Xu at all. He was impulsive, reckless, and repeatedly put Liang Chuling in danger while still being self-righteous.

When he spoke again, his voice was still gentle: "I'm not doing this for him. Liang Chuling, I'm helping him because if Zhou Xu really falls completely and is disgraced because of this, then as the other protagonist in this incident and deeply tied to him, you will inevitably suffer more prolonged and malicious public opinion."

"I did it all for you."

Liang Chuling was caught off guard by the sincerity of the conversation. She hadn't prepared beforehand and didn't know how to respond. She felt her cheeks burning and couldn't come up with any of the prepared words.

She was as if her outer shell had been peeled away, leaving only a little shame and a great deal of helplessness.

I had no choice but to awkwardly change the subject: "Have you submitted your application?"

Seeing her flushed face and evasive eyes, Li Xun didn't press the matter further: "Yes, it's submitted."

"That's great!" Liang Chuling seized the opportunity, her tone becoming cheerful again. "Let's go together in March, and I also want to have my audition re-evaluated." As she spoke, she became dissatisfied. "Hmph! What's there to evaluate? They've clearly been paying attention to my abilities over the past few years; they're the ones who can't wait for me to get there!"

She was admitted to Curtis when she was thirteen, but she didn't go at the time for various reasons. The college reserved a place for her, but after several years, she needed to be re-evaluated on-site to confirm her level.

She raised her chin as she spoke, a hint of familiar pride in her voice. Li Xun liked that expression on her face.

She continued her plan: "We can start school together in August!"

Her words revealed an undisguised anticipation and joy at entering the university with Li Xun, like a cluster of flames, which pleased Li Xun.

Thinking of that promise about the future, and knowing she was working hard towards it, and looking at her lively eyes, Li Xun subtly guided her question: "From May to August, there are three months in between. Shall we go to the Arctic? You've played Messopong's 'Northern Lights,' would you like to see it with your own eyes?"

Liang Chuling was genuinely surprised to hear this: "...Huh?"

Li Xun tried to persuade her further: "You can also celebrate your birthday on the road."

Liang Chuling exclaimed, "How did you know I wanted to go to the Arctic!"

She remembered that she hadn't had a chance to tell him yet.

How could she know that she wanted to see jellyfish, go to the Arctic, and visit Longyearbyen!

Now it was Li Xun's turn to be pleasantly surprised, a surprise like a stroke of luck. But he didn't show it. He closed the distance a little and spoke in a gentler voice: "Then let's go together, okay?"

Liang Chuling looked into those smiling eyes so close to her, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it was about to jump out of her chest.

She forgot to ask further questions, forgot her surprise, and nodded so hard her hair swayed: "Okay!"

--

For the past few months, Liang Chuling had been the only one attending Li Chi's weekly video classes. Zhou Xu didn't attend online classes, and Li Xun was busy applying for temporary absences.

Li Xun's registration is now over, but in order to repay favors, he has to cover some classes for the professor and has also taken on some performances that he can't refuse, so he still can't attend classes.

One-on-one is definitely better, and Liang Chuling is getting a freebie.

The day before the class, Zhou Xu sent a message: "The doctor said my arm is fine, so I'll take the online class with you. I've already talked to Li Chi about it. Where do you usually take classes? I'll come find you."

Liang Chuling was taking classes at home, but she didn't want Zhou Xu to come to her house at all, so she immediately replied, "I'll go to the school's music room."

The school is a delicate place these days, but it is, after all, a top-tier institution of learning. The students are inherently aloof, and there's no need to take their opinions seriously online. In real life, however, very few people would actually embarrass Zhou Xu to his face.

Moreover, while everyone secretly enjoyed gossiping about those who openly sabotaged Zhou Xu, they verbally criticized them for being low-class. It was truly fascinating to see people from all sides doing this.

Liang Chuling and Zhou Xu were walking together in the school when they saw several A4 sheets of paper that hadn't been properly cleaned and were printed with the words "Boycott the disgraced artist Zhou Xu". Liang Chuling immediately started tearing them up, then had to shred them and throw them into the trash can.

Zhou Xu didn't lift a finger the whole way, as if it had nothing to do with him, but seeing Liang Chuling's displeased expression, he was quite pleased and said in a good mood, "Thank you. The whole world is against me, but you're the only one willing to help me tear these things down."

Liang Chuling thought to herself: No way, big brother! Your fans are crazy too! Your fans' attacks are terrifying! The whole world isn't targeting you!

But all I can say is that I'm fine.

During the video lesson, Li Chi wasn't too surprised. He didn't hold back on some of Zhou Xu's poorly handled notes with his left hand, maintaining the same strict requirements.

Zhou Xu laughed and joked throughout, seemingly without any burden, but Liang Chuling felt uneasy.

After reading the forum posts that day, Liang Chuling already knew that Li Chi was fully aware of all the turmoil. But Li Chi never asked a single question, continuing to teach, comment, and assign homework as usual.

She didn't feel relieved; instead, she felt anxious. She liked to be certain about everything and hated this kind of vague feeling, but lately, one thing after another had left her feeling confused.

After class, Li Chi looked at Liang Chuling's forehead through the screen and suddenly said, "The scar on your forehead has finally fallen off completely."

Zhou Xu also came over to look at her.

Liang Chuling touched the spot where there used to be a small wound, which now only had smooth skin: "It's healed."

"Finally, it's done. It was really painful to look at."

Liang Chuling: "...!"

I'm the one who got hurt, so why are you feeling so upset?

She didn't dare to speak her mind directly, but perhaps Li Xun gave her more courage to face it, and she decided to ask a question. But this question was only suitable for a private conversation, so Liang Chuling spoke up: "Teacher Li Chi, I have something I want to talk to you about privately." She then looked at Zhou Xu, "Can you wait for me outside?"

Zhou Xu had no objection and went to the music room next door.

After Zhou Xu left, Liang Chuling spoke again: "Teacher Li Chi, you must know about the recent news."

“I know I’m too impulsive, immature, and arrogant. Perhaps this public opinion about me has also caused you trouble.”

"But I hope you won't hate me because of this, okay? I won't make the same mistake again."

After speaking, Liang Chuling was trembling with fear. Although she had gained a little more courage, it was only enough to support her in asking questions. She couldn't accept that if Li Chi said "I hate you" to her, she would definitely break down.

No matter how much she is insulted by the outside world, she will only be angry. Her self-worth is not based on the opinions of people she doesn't care about. She even wants to tear those people's mouths apart.

But what if Li Chi disliked her… No, Liang Chuling didn’t dare to think about it. Li Chi’s approval was directly related to her self-identity.

Actually, this question could have been left unasked, and the matter could have continued unresolved, but Liang Chuling couldn't accept having to pretend in front of Li Chi.

Li Chi ignored her self-criticism, beckoned to her with his index finger, and Liang Chuling understood and moved closer to the camera. Li Chi flicked her forehead through the camera.

"What's the point of being impulsive? Just do it if you feel good in the moment. Once you've done it, that's it. If you make a mess of it, then you can figure out a solution later."

"It's okay if we can't solve it; life has a high margin for error."

"I am just your piano teacher, not your judge. As long as your actions do not affect your piano playing skills, they are none of my business."

"Relax, don't be tense when playing the piano."

Liang Chuling felt a lump in her throat, but she was good at holding it in. Feeling that she hadn't heard the answer she wanted, she asked again, "So you don't hate me, do you?"

Li Chi wanted to continue making fun of her, but he could see Liang Chuling's eyes were red even through the screen, so he had to turn the "funny" into a "smile," snapping his fingers to signal her to concentrate: "I don't dislike you, I admire you."

Liang Chuling quickly and furtively lowered her head, pretending to look for a pen, but actually wiping away her tears, saying as she did so, "Where's my pen! Where's my pen! I can't find it!"

Li Chi ignored her act and announced to himself, "That's it for this year's classes. I'm giving you an early break. We'll continue after I return to China after the New Year. When you go out later, also keep in touch with Zhou Xu."

"Huh? Why?"

“I’ve been busy with my own things lately,” Li Chi said succinctly. “I started a band with some friends, and I’ve been quite busy lately.”

Liang Chuling nodded in understanding. Li Chi always had her reasons for doing things.

“Okay, then I wish your orchestra all the best,” Liang Chuling said.

"Okay," Li Chi replied, "Take care too. Bye."