025 | (Twenty-four) I'll hate you for the rest of my life

Xie Qingyan was shaken awake. She opened her eyes groggily, blinked, and it took her unfocused gaze a while to converge, slowly fixing on Su Xingmao's clear face illuminated by the moonlight.

She had fallen into a deep sleep and the moon was already so high in the sky. He said softly, bending down to unbuckle her seatbelt: "We're here."

His tall figure loomed over her like a small mountain, its reflection pressing down on her and shrouding her vision in gloom. His face was also hidden in the shadows, obscuring her vision.

Xie Qingyan rubbed his eyes and yawned, only then belatedly realizing that he was tightly hugging something in his arms—upon closer inspection, it was his own hand!

She was startled to find Su Xingmao holding her hand in his arms.

She flung herself away as if she'd been burned.

Su Xingmao's arm was slightly numb from prolonged pressure, his blood circulation was poor, and he had lost all sensation.

Su Xingmao's gaze remained unchanged at her use-and-discard actions, and he calmly withdrew his numb hand.

It's probably not just their hands that are numbed by the long wait; their hearts are probably numb as well.

He got out of the car first, and Xie Qingyan followed him down with heavy steps.

Su Xingmao was already waiting for her outside. His handsome and aloof figure stretched all the way down to her. He raised his hand to her, almost instinctively reaching out to catch her.

Xie Qingyan paused slightly, staring at the hand hovering in front of him. It was long, beautiful, with distinct knuckles. The cold moonlight thinly covered the pale blue veins. With a slight movement of the knuckles, the veins bulged out.

She hesitated for a moment, then stepped aside to avoid his hand, muttering, "Do you think I'm a three-year-old?"

Su Xingmao moved his lips, as if he wanted to say something but then stopped, and calmly put his hand back down.

But looking into her dark eyes, a wisp of cold moonlight flew into them, and in the blink of an eye, they turned gray and desolate.

In that fleeting moment, it flashed by like a shooting star, and Xie Qingyan happened to capture it.

He is no longer needed.

He never liked this feeling.

Those born under the sign of Mao are very good at hiding their emotions. They are calm and quiet for their age, and they usually remain calm and composed, keeping a polite distance from the outside world.

When they were children, there were more than just the two of them in the Lingquan Mountain villa area. There were also seven or eight other children of the same age scattered around. Some people saw that he was handsome and went up to talk to him, but he was like a mute, silent and unresponsive no matter how much people called to him.

It only has a pair of large, dark eyes that seem to gaze at people from behind the carved railings. Yet its face is extremely pale, giving it a gloomy and eerie appearance.

He could instantly dampen the enthusiasm of others, who would mutter behind his back that he was "the little devil Toshio from Sadako."

Over time, not many people wanted to play with him anymore.

Then one day, Xie Qingyan arrived. She was born to be the center of attention, energetic and dazzling.

Humans are creatures drawn to light; the sun's light compels us to chase after it, to the point that we seem to forget that getting too close to the blinding sunlight can also burn us.

Xie Qingyan always harassed him unilaterally. The more he ignored her, the more arrogant she became. She became more and more determined to make him admit defeat, which led to a series of funny situations.

She was the one who started it.

My heart is swinging on a swing, sometimes rising and sometimes falling.

Xie Qingyan stiffened her neck, hurriedly brushed past him, abruptly glanced away, and walked forward with her head held high.

She didn't understand why Su Xingmao looked at her with such a wounded and lost gaze.

In the middle of summer, I felt hairy all over, a chill ran down my back, and goosebumps rose on my skin, making me extremely uncomfortable.

Don't make it sound like she did something heinous that would incur divine wrath; she just didn't touch his hand.

Is it really necessary?

They only started holding hands frequently when they were in elementary school.

Aside from frequently using Xie Jinyu as a shield and putting on a friendly facade, the clearest memory of that time was in fifth grade.

He unexpectedly didn't get first place and was severely punished by Su Zhizhou with bamboo and rattan, followed by a long period of standing as punishment.

This wasn't the first time; he seemed to be used to it and didn't argue with his father's repeated questioning about why he missed an exam.

The door was pounded loudly. The father shook his head in disappointment, angrily threw down the rattan cane, straightened his appearance, and went to open the door. When he saw Xie Qingyan, he immediately put on a nice face and tried his best to be amiable, saying, "Yanyan, what brings you here?"

"Hello, Uncle, I'm here to see Su Xingmao." She tiptoed and peered inside, vaguely seeing Su Xingmao's small figure standing against the wall in the corner, almost blending into the wall.

"What does Yan Yan want with him?"

Xie Qingyan's clear voice came from not far away: "I have homework that I don't know how to do."

She magically produced two workbooks from behind her back. She was quick-witted and had a sweet tongue. She immediately persuaded Su Zhizhou to release the people.

A few years ago, Su Zhizhou wanted to have another daughter with his wife, but his wife had a difficult childbirth at the hour of Mao (5-7 AM), which left her with health problems, so they had to give up. Xie Qingyan was beautiful and lovely, and it was inevitable that he couldn't go against her wishes.

She stepped forward and took Su Xingmao's icy, almost freezing hand, and couldn't help but shiver. She wondered, "Isn't he cold?" Then she led him out of the dark room without saying a word.

Xie Qingyan proclaimed himself a knight who descended from the heavens to rescue the prince who was being bullied and trapped in a castle by a wizard.

Let him escape punishment.

Su Xingmao should be grateful to her and submit to her.

But Su Xingmao didn't. Not only did he not, he stopped in his tracks. He stood on the threshold, one step outside and one step inside. The outside was bright, and his dark eyes blended into the shadows as he coldly stared at her. He said in a serious tone, "You... don't come looking for me anymore."

His voice was muffled, his face was bowed low, and there was a bright red handprint on one cheek, barely visible.

It was winter, and the cold wind stung their faces. His words felt like a slap in the face. Xie Qingyan stared wide-eyed in disbelief, his anger rising, and shouted, "Fine, don't come! Who wants to play with you?"

She didn't even bother to ask why.

Xie Qingyan had her own logic regarding this. No one paid any attention to him, so she took pity on him and condescended to play with him, yet Su Xingmao dared to repeatedly disregard her.

They don't know what's good for them.

She silently declared war on him in her heart, thus beginning a protracted battle.

She'll hate him for the rest of her life.

…

Xie Qingyan went inside first. Nowadays, many restaurants are picky about customers and have many rules in pursuit of so-called high quality. Unfortunately, this restaurant was no exception. You had to change your shoes, wash your hands, and choose your cup before you could enter.

The two sat down by the edge of the courtyard, under a half-open roof. The view was of a Japanese dry landscape garden, quiet and simple. There was a red maple tree in the center, and the sound of cicadas could be heard gradually increasing, their chirping never ceasing.

A screen depicting flowers and birds separates tables of diners. Embroidered on silk are several branches of winter plum blossoms. When the screen is gently swayed, the flowers seem to come alive in the breeze, as if a faint fragrance is wafting over.

The constellation Mao has very proper eating habits, just like he is.

He didn't speak, and didn't even make any extra noise. He picked up food and chewed with an elegant and dignified manner. You could hardly hear the crisp sound of the porcelain clinking together. It was almost like eating with a robot.

Xie Qingyan was restless and couldn't eat. He vaguely remembered having eaten at his house before. During the meal, all three of them were silent, with only the occasional soft clinking of cutlery on the table.

It's hard to believe that even though the Qing Dynasty is long gone, there are still people in this era who adhere to the ancient precept of "not speaking while eating."

She felt like she was sitting on pins and needles during that meal. At that moment, Xie Qingyan was relieved. Although her parents were divorced, at least she was not restricted in her freedom. If she had been reincarnated into the Su Xing Mao family, she would have been suffocated to death.