Chapter 18

Spring was in full bloom, the sun was warm, and the wisteria cascaded down the campus like a waterfall, filling the air with a sweet fragrance. The semester proceeded at a leisurely pace, everything running smoothly along its predetermined path. The argument about photography concepts seemed like nothing more than a pebble thrown into a lake; after the ripples subsided, the lake became even deeper and calmer.

Lü Xiaoyan's "Street Life and Time" successfully entered the second round of the competition, and the results will be announced at the end of the month. He is no longer as anxiously waiting as before; his mindset is much more peaceful, and he has refocused his attention on his daily studies and new creative work. Qiu Yayu's campus life is also rich and colorful. In addition to her major courses, she has also joined the school radio station, and her sweet and melodious voice can occasionally be heard on campus during lunchtime.

It was a typical Friday afternoon. Lü Xiaoyan had just finished an elective course on darkroom techniques and was heading to the library to meet Qiu Yayu. She didn't have any classes that afternoon and should already be waiting for him at their usual spot.

My phone vibrated; it was Qiu Yayu calling.

"Senior!" Her voice came through the receiver, tinged with rapid breathing and a hint of barely perceptible panic, "Could you...could you come to the east gate of the school right now?"

Lu Xiaoyan's heart jumped. "What's wrong?" he asked as he grabbed his schoolbag and strode out of the classroom.

"I...I think I've gotten into some trouble," Qiu Yayu's voice trembled with tears, "I accidentally...bumped into a car parked on the side of the road while riding a shared bike..."

Lu Xiaoyan's brows furrowed immediately. "Are you alright?" This was his biggest concern.

"I'm fine, I was just startled and fell, scraping my hand a little..." Qiu Yayu sniffed, "But the car's paint looks scratched, and the owner seems really angry..."

"Stay where you are, I'll be right there." After saying that, Lü Xiaoyan hung up the phone and practically ran towards the east gate of the school.

Outside the east gate was a non-motorized vehicle lane, with temporary parking spaces marked on the side. At that moment, several people were gathered around a black sedan that looked expensive. Qiu Yayu stood helplessly to one side, head down, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and fear. Her right hand tightly gripped her left arm, and there was some dust on the knees of her school uniform trousers. Obvious abrasions and traces of blood were visible on the edges of her palms. A middle-aged man in a suit, with an unhappy expression, was pointing at a not-too-long scratch on the car door, speaking excitedly. Several other students were watching nearby.

Lü Xiaoyan pushed through the crowd and quickly walked to Qiu Yayu's side. The first thing she did was grab her hand to check it. A large patch of skin on her palm was scraped, mixed with grit and blood, looking shocking.

"Does it hurt?" His voice was tense, filled with suppressed heartache and anger, whether from anger at her carelessness or from the aggressive manner of the man in front of him, it was hard to tell.

When Qiu Yayu saw him, the tears she had been holding back finally fell. She shook her head in grievance, then nodded.

Lu Xiaoyan shielded her behind her, then turned to the car owner, her tone calm but firm: "Sir, I'm sorry, she's my classmate. We'll be responsible for repairing the scratched car. Could you please let me take her to get her wound treated first?"

The car owner sized up Lü Xiaoyan and saw that although he was young, he had a calm demeanor and a respectful attitude. His anger subsided slightly, but he still frowned: "Young man, it's not that I'm being unreasonable, but look at these scratches. I just bought this car not long ago! The repair costs won't be low!"

“We will not shirk the responsibility that is ours to bear.” Lü Xiaoyan took out his phone. “Please leave your contact information, or we can call the insurance company and traffic police to determine liability right now. But before that, I must take her to have her wounds cleaned.” His gaze swept over Qiu Yayu’s still bleeding palm, his eyes firm.

Perhaps it was Lü Xiaoyan's calmness and persistence that had an effect, or perhaps it was seeing that Qiu Yayu was indeed injured, but the car owner's tone softened a bit: "Alright, alright, let's treat the wound first. Here's my business card, with my phone number on it. Contact me when you're done and we can discuss compensation."

Lü Xiaoyan took the business card, glanced at it, and saw that it belonged to a manager of a technology company, surnamed Zhao.

“Thank you, Mr. Zhao. We will contact you as soon as possible.” Lü Xiaoyan put away her business card, then turned around and put her arm around Qiu Yayu’s shoulder, saying in a low voice, “Let’s go.”

He led her through the whispering crowd and headed straight for the school hospital.

Throughout the journey, Qiu Yayu kept her head down, tears streaming down her face, partly from the pain in her hands, and partly from lingering fear and guilt.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, senior," she choked out, "I've caused you trouble again...I was trying to ride quickly to the library to wait for you, but the car next to me suddenly opened its door, and I had to dodge it..."

"The most important thing is that everyone is alright." Lü Xiaoyan interrupted her, his voice still somewhat harsh, but the hand around her shoulder tightened, conveying silent support. Heaven knows that when he saw her pitiful state, with her injured hand, his heart felt like it was being gripped tightly by an invisible hand, almost suffocating him. The panic that surged in that instant was a thousand times stronger than when he saw the car damage.

At the school clinic, the doctor cleaned Qiu Yayu's wound. She gasped in pain as the doctor disinfected it, her eyes brimming with tears as she looked at Lü Xiaoyan. Lü Xiaoyan stood to the side, her brow furrowed, her jaw taut as she stared at the gruesome wound on Qiu Yayu's palm. The doctor carefully bandaged her hand and then examined her knee, confirming it was only a minor bump and no bone was broken.

After leaving the school hospital, Qiu Yayu calmed down a bit, but she still hung her head, like a little puppy that had done something wrong.

"Won't the repair costs for that car be very high?" she asked softly, her voice filled with worry. She knew that Lü Xiaoyan's family was well-off, but she didn't want to cause him too much financial burden because of her mistake.

"I'll handle it," Lü Xiaoyan said succinctly. He took out his phone, dialed the number on the business card, and arranged to go to the 4S store for damage assessment and repairs on the weekend with Manager Zhao.

After hanging up the phone, he saw that Qiu Yayu still looked worried. He sighed and reached out to ruffle her hair (a gesture he had recently learned to use to comfort her).

"Don't think about it, it was just an accident." He paused, then added, "Be more careful when riding your bike next time."

"Hmm..." Qiu Yayu responded sullenly, looked up at his still furrowed brows, and asked cautiously, "Are you... are you angry with me?"

Looking at her swollen eyes and bandaged hands, Lü Xiaoyan felt a lingering fear and annoyance at her carelessness, which eventually turned into helplessness and deeper heartache.

"No," he denied, his voice low. "It's just..." He paused, as if searching for the right words, "...to be more careful in the future. I..." He pursed his lips, not finishing his sentence.

I'm scared. Scared to see you hurt, scared of that feeling of being out of control and powerless.

Qiu Yayu looked into his deep brown eyes, where the emotions were complex and difficult to discern—concern, lingering fear, and a deep worry she couldn't fully decipher. Suddenly, she understood. He wasn't angry that she was causing trouble; he was worried about her.

She reached out and gently tugged at his sleeve, her voice soft and reassuring: "I promise I'll be careful from now on, very, very careful! I swear!"

Seeing her confident expression, Lü Xiaoyan's tense face finally relaxed a little. He took her uninjured hand in his own.

"Okay. Remember what you said."

The setting sun cast long shadows of the two. The unexpected turmoil had temporarily subsided, but the lingering unease about "loss" and "accident" lingered in Lü Xiaoyan's heart like a seed unintentionally planted. For the first time, he realized with such clarity how fragile the warmth and beauty he cherished were, as if they could be destroyed at any moment by a careless act.

He held her hand tightly, as if in doing so he could firmly grasp this fragile happiness.

Over the weekend, Lü Xiaoyan went to the 4S shop alone to handle the vehicle damage assessment and repairs. The cost was indeed not low, almost wiping out most of his living expenses for the semester and some of his savings. He didn't tell Qiu Yayu the exact amount, only casually saying, "It's settled."

Feeling guilty, Qiu Yayu was exceptionally well-behaved for the next few days, eagerly helping him carry his books and saving him seats. Although her injured hand made things difficult, she still tried her best to be kind to him. Watching her clumsy attempts to please him, Lü Xiaoyan felt both amused and heartbroken. The shadow of the car accident was gradually fading away in her carefully nurturing warmth.

Life seemed to have returned to normal. But some things, once touched, can never return to their initial state of tranquility. As Lü Xiaoyan watched Qiu Yayu's cheerful figure, a fleeting, almost imperceptible, moment of bewilderment would occasionally flash through his mind. He paid even closer attention to how she crossed the street, checked her itinerary more frequently, and his silent protection became even more suffocating than before.

Unbeknownst to him, the gears of fate had already begun their cold and merciless turning somewhere unseen. This small, close call seemed like a chilling and cruel rehearsal, reminding him that in this world, some losses cannot be avoided simply by being careful.

But the real, irreversible autumn was quietly waiting not far ahead. Lü Xiaoyan practically ran to the east gate. The afternoon sun was a bit dazzling, and he could see a group of people gathered there from afar. A bad premonition, like cold vines, wrapped around his heart. He pushed through the crowd and the first thing he saw was Qiu Yayu standing alone and helpless in the center of the crowd.

She kept her head down, her thin body trembling slightly, like a leaf cowering in the wind. Her usually neatly combed ponytail was disheveled, a few stray hairs clinging to her sweaty forehead. Her right hand gripped her left arm tightly, her knuckles white from the force, while the palm of her left hand—Lü Xiaoyan's pupils suddenly contracted—was a bloody mess, mixed with sand and dust, the glaring red searing his eyes. Her jeans were also torn at the knees, stained with dirt.

At that moment, Lü Xiaoyan felt her breath catch in her throat. The surrounding clamor and the car owner's agitated accusations seemed to be blurred through a thick pane of glass. In his world, all that remained was the gruesome wound on her hand and the tears on her face, a mixture of fear, pain, and overwhelming helplessness.

"Does it hurt?"

He heard his own voice, dry and tense, as if it weren't his own. He stepped forward, almost roughly prying aside her right hand, which was still clutching her left arm, and carefully lifted her injured palm. The warm, sticky touch made his fingertips tremble. An unprecedented panic, like ice water, instantly seeped into his bones. It was a thousand times more intense than any mistake he had made in the darkroom, or any rejection of his work.

When Qiu Yayu saw him, it was as if she had finally found her pillar of support. The grievances and fears she had been holding back burst forth, and her tears fell even more fiercely. She sobbed and couldn't speak, only shaking her head and nodding vigorously.

Lü Xiaoyan took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing the turmoil churning in his chest. He pulled her behind him, shielding her with his body and also blocking the scrutinizing and accusing gaze of the still-nagging car owner. His actions carried an undeniable protective stance.

Turning to the car owner, Lü Xiaoyan quickly suppressed his outward emotions, leaving only a cold calm. "Sir, I'm sorry, she's my classmate." His voice wasn't loud, but it clearly pierced through the surrounding noise, carrying a composure beyond his years. "We'll take care of the repairs. Could you please let me take her to get her scratch treated first?"

He deliberately emphasized "treating the wound," staring directly at the car owner without any attempt to look away, carrying a subtle sense of pressure. His gaze swept over the scratch on the car door, then returned to Qiu Yayu's still bleeding hand, the meaning clear—a person's injury is more important than the car's paint.

The car owner, Manager Zhao, was taken aback by Lü Xiaoyan's sudden calmness and firmness. He sized up the slender young man in front of him; the determination in the young man's eyes and the way he protected the girl made him realize that this was not a student who could be easily manipulated.

“Young man, it’s not that I’m being unreasonable,” Manager Zhao’s tone softened slightly, but he was still dissatisfied, pointing to the scratches, “Look at this, I just bought this car not long ago! The repair costs won’t be low!”

"We will not shirk the responsibilities that are ours to bear," Lü Xiaoyan repeated, his tone resolute. He took out his phone without hesitation. "Please leave your contact information, or we can call the insurance company and traffic police now to determine liability." He paused, his gaze falling again on Qiu Yayu's wound, which was barely bandaged and was being pressed tightly by herself. His voice deepened, carrying an uncompromising resolve, "But before that, I must take her to have the wound cleaned. An infection would be even more troublesome."

His words were logically clear and his attitude unequivocal, demonstrating both his willingness to take responsibility and prioritizing Qiu Yayu's injury. Manager Zhao looked into Lü Xiaoyan's unfathomable yet now sharp eyes, then glanced at the pitifully crying girl behind him, whose hand injury was indeed serious. His anger subsided considerably. Having been in the business world for a while, he could tell this young man wasn't bluffing.

“Alright, alright,” Manager Zhao waved his hand, took out a business card from his suit pocket and handed it over. “Take care of the wound first. This is my business card, there’s a phone number on it. Contact me when you’re done to discuss compensation.” He sighed and muttered, “Be more careful riding your bike next time…”

Lü Xiaoyan took the business card, glanced at it only once, and then put it in his pocket. "Thank you, Mr. Zhao. We will contact you as soon as possible." He didn't say another word, nor did he even look at the car or its owner again, as if it were no longer an important matter.

He turned around and faced Qiu Yayu again. Seeing her still pale face and tear-streaked cheeks, the panic he had just suppressed stirred up again. He reached out, this time not to pull her, but to put his arm around her shoulder, half-protecting her in his arms, and with an almost forceful manner, led her through the crowd of onlookers who were still pointing and whispering.

His arm was strong and steady, shielding her from all the unfriendly stares and whispers. Qiu Yayu leaned against him, feeling his rapid, powerful heartbeat and the familiar scent of chemicals emanating from him. This feeling of being completely protected finally gave her panicked and helpless heart a sense of peace. She stopped crying, simply relying on him, following his steps, letting him lead her away from this place that filled her with fear and embarrassment.

On the way to the school hospital, Lü Xiaoyan remained silent. His jawline was taut, and his lips were pressed into a cold, hard line. The hand around Qiu Yayu's shoulder tightened unconsciously, as if afraid that if he let go, she would be hurt again.

His mind replayed the image of seeing blood on her hands, the sudden, almost uncontrollable pounding of his heart. This feeling was so unfamiliar, so terrifying, far beyond his control. He was used to calmly observing and recording the world through his camera, used to hiding his emotions behind the viewfinder. But just now, in that instant, all his composure and self-control crumbled.

He was scared.

This clear realization weighed heavily on Lü Xiaoyan's heart. He had never been so afraid of losing anything. And the source of this fear was something he held tightly in his arms—so real, yet so fragile.

Qiu Yayu secretly glanced at him, seeing his tense profile and furrowed brows, and felt a pang of guilt and unease. She explained what had happened in a low, halting voice, still hoarse from crying: "...I really didn't mean to, senior...I just wanted to ride faster, but I didn't expect the car next to me to suddenly open its door...I tried to avoid it, and the handlebars veered off course..."

Lu Xiaoyan listened silently without interrupting her. Only after she finished speaking did he exhale very slowly, slightly loosening his grip on her shoulder, but still not letting go.

"The most important thing is that everyone is safe." He finally spoke, his voice low and hoarse, repeating what he had said before, as if he were talking to her, or as if he were talking to himself.

But is everything really alright? He looked at the white building of the school hospital ahead, knowing in his heart that some things had changed in that moment of loss of control. The smell of disinfectant filled the air. A nurse carefully used tweezers to remove the grit from Qiu Yayu's palm. When the alcohol-soaked cotton ball touched the torn flesh, she shuddered in pain, gasped, and tears welled up instantly, but she bit her lower lip tightly to keep from crying out.

Lu Xiaoyan stood to the side, watching her small face contorted in pain and the wound that looked even more gruesome after being cleaned. His jawline was taut like a fully drawn bowstring. His hands, hanging by his sides, unconsciously clenched into fists, his nails digging deep into his palms, causing a sharp pain, as if only in this way could he share some of the suffering she was enduring. He looked away, then couldn't help but look back, a helpless anxiety burning through his very being.

"Just bear with it, it'll be over soon." The nurse's voice was gentle, but her movements were swift. Cleaning, applying medicine, bandaging—layers of white gauze finally covered the glaring red patch.

After treating the wound and confirming that the knee injury was only superficial, the two walked out of the school clinic. The setting sun dyed the sky a warm orange, but the atmosphere was somewhat somber. Qiu Yayu looked at her left hand, which was wrapped up like a dumpling, and then secretly glanced at the silent Lü Xiaoyan beside her. The guilt in her heart grew wildly like vines.

"Um... the money for the car repairs," she mustered her courage, her voice barely audible, "when my allowance arrives next month, I..."

“No need,” Lu Xiaoyan interrupted her, her tone leaving no room for argument. “I’ve already taken care of it.”

"But……"

"No buts." He stopped, turned around, and looked at her with a deep gaze. "I said I would handle it."

His attitude was somewhat forceful, carrying a kind of almost domineering quality that Qiu Yayu had never seen before. She stared at him blankly, noticing the bloodshot eyes that hadn't completely faded and the tension lingering between his brows, and suddenly understood. He wasn't arguing with her about money; he was using this method to forcibly erase the impact of this incident, trying to return everything to "normal" as quickly as possible, as if this could dispel the shadow cast by the accident just now.

She stopped insisting, lowered her head, looked at the tips of her shoes, and whispered, "I'm sorry, senior... I made you worry again."

This apology, like a fine needle, gently pierced the shell of composure that Lü Xiaoyan had forcibly maintained. He looked at her lowered head, her bandaged hands, and the stains on her knees. All the lingering fear, heartache, and the immense panic brought on by that moment of loss of control mixed together at this moment into a complex and indescribable emotion, surging and crashing against his chest.

He reached out, not to ruffle her hair, but to gently lift her uninjured right hand and hold it in his palm. Her fingertips were icy cold.

"Qiu Yayu." He called her by her full name, his voice low and hoarse, carrying an unprecedented solemnity.

Qiu Yayu looked up and met his unfathomable eyes. They no longer held the usual indifference or occasional tenderness, but rather something heavy and turbulent that she couldn't understand.

“From now on,” he said clearly, emphasizing each word, “you are not allowed to scare me like that again.”

It was not a reproach, nor a command, but a declaration that trembled slightly and was almost a plea.

Qiu Yayu's heart felt as if it had been struck hard by something, a bittersweet mix of emotions washing over her. She finally truly felt the turbulent waves that had been stirred up by her beneath his calm exterior. All his composure, all his "handling" of the situation, was merely a facade to conceal the immense fear deep within him caused by her.

She gripped his hand tightly in return, nodded vigorously, and tears welled up again uncontrollably, but this time, it was from the overwhelming emotion of being cared for to the extreme.

"I promise!" Her voice was thick with emotion, but unusually firm. "I'll be careful from now on, extremely careful! I'll look at the road ten times before crossing! I'll ride my bike slower than a tortoise! ​​I..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Suddenly, Lü Xiaoyan reached out and gently, yet with unwavering determination, embraced her.

This was an unexpected embrace. Unlike the tentative and confirming approach in the darkroom, or the quiet embrace on the spring lawn, this embrace carried the relief of surviving a disaster, the preciousness of something lost and found, and all the overwhelming emotions that could not be expressed in words.

His arms encircled her shoulders, drawing her into his own domain. His chin rested on the top of her soft hair, and he could clearly smell the faint scent of disinfectant lingering in her hair, along with her own natural fragrance. He held her tightly, so tightly that Qiu Yayu could almost feel the rapid, powerful pounding of his heart in his chest, each beat striking her eardrums.

Qiu Yayu froze, her body stiffening in his arms, forgetting even to breathe. This was the first time Lü Xiaoyan had ever embraced her so proactively and tightly in broad daylight, in a place other than the darkroom and downstairs at night.

Occasionally, passing students cast curious glances, but Lü Xiaoyan remained oblivious. He simply closed his eyes, feeling the real, warm body in his arms, using all his strength to confirm her safety. The panic of almost losing her had been so real, so acute; he needed this contact to dispel the bone-chilling cold.

After a while, he slowly released his arm, but one hand still held hers. His ears were flushed, and his eyes flickered, as if he was embarrassed by his out-of-control behavior.

Qiu Yayu's face turned as red as a ripe tomato, but her heart felt like a jar of honey had been overturned, overflowing with sweetness. Looking at his rarely seen flustered appearance, she suddenly felt that this accident, which had caused her both pain and fear, might not be... entirely a bad thing.

"Let's go," Lü Xiaoyan cleared her throat, trying to regain her usual tone, but there was still a hint of hoarseness in her voice. "I'll take you back to your dorm to rest."

"Mmm." Qiu Yayu nodded obediently, letting him lead her slowly toward the dormitory area.

The setting sun cast long shadows of the two of them, who nestled closely together. Their clasped hands gradually warmed each other.

That small, out-of-control accident was like a stone thrown into a calm lake. It brought brief chaos and pain, but it also stirred up the silt hidden deep at the bottom of the lake, bringing some hidden emotions to the surface, and allowing two hearts to draw closer and become more connected in the shared shock and comfort.

Lu Xiaoyan still feels a pang of fear at that moment of losing control, but he is beginning to learn to accept it; some fears stem from deep love. Qiu Yayu, after the pain and tears, more clearly perceives his silent yet profound care.

However, none of them ever imagined that the warnings given by fate were sometimes not meant to make them cherish the present more, but to cast a more cruel and ironic shadow over the impending, true farewell.