Chapter 47 A Dilemma He wept on her lap in front of his family...

Changsun Qingjing did not casually utter the answer she expected, which her husband may have already thought of: "If you want to build Yilu, I will accompany you to take care of Mother; if you want to go to Luoyang, I will accompany you to walk on the great chessboard of Ziwei Palace."

Li Shimin pondered for a long time, not struggling with fear and responsibility, but simply making a difficult choice between his deep-rooted family ties, worldly morality, and the unpredictable reality.

“Guanyinbi, I’ve made up my mind. I will accompany my father to Luoyang to take up his post. If His Majesty has any doubts about the new appointment, I will stay by his side in exchange for my father going to Shanxi and Hedong to make his mark.”

Li Shimin reached out and gripped Changsun Qingjing's fingertips tightly, as if only in this way could he gain courage and affirmation.

"Mother was right about you!" Changsun Qingjing said approvingly. She flinched slightly at the hand being held, but couldn't pull it away from Li Shimin's palm.

Changsun Qingjing spoke earnestly and without reservation, but this self-analysis was more valuable to Li Shimin than any amount of praise.

“My father is tactful but indecisive, while my elder brother is steady but rarely decisive. In terms of adaptability, I am slightly better. If my mother were alive, she would definitely have made the same arrangement.” Li Shimin was so confident that he even forgot that he should have slightly concealed the flaws in his father and brother’s personalities in front of his new wife.

Although he didn't have to be so blunt, he believed that one of the meanings of his existence was to mend the gaps in the nature of his father and brothers.

Therefore, it's not shameful to admit your family's weaknesses to your wife; it might even help her integrate into the family more quickly.

"My hand hurts..." Changsun Qingjing murmured.

Changsun Qingjing looked stunned, a flame flickering deep within his eyes. His fingers, which had been constantly moving in and out of control, froze in mid-air, the tenderness in his heart overpowering the stiffness and numbness in his fingertips.

Li Shimin recalled the swirling cold wind at Zhou Xiaoling Mausoleum, Dou's many years of devout yet hidden prayers, his father's frustrated first half of life, the strange green willows in the dead of winter, and the prophecies about the surname Li.

The boy's heart was filled with the uncertainty of the future and the hope of a new beginning.

"You will stay with my brother and sister-in-law to help with the remaining chores. Once everything is settled, I will take you to the palace for a final reunion, shall I?" Li Shimin believed his arrangement was foolproof, and only awaited Changsun Qingjing's nod of agreement. If she shed tears out of reluctance and worry, he would certainly find a way to reassure her.

"What did you say?"

“I’m going to Luoyang because I can’t defy fate, because of my mother’s dying wish, because I need to take care of my father, because I need to guard against His Majesty’s suspicion, because…” he explained playfully, “In case anything goes wrong, I’m quick on my feet, I’ll definitely be able to escape from the Ziwei Palace and from Luoyang! What reason do you have to come with me?”

Changsun Qingjing subconsciously stroked the mourning bun, his fingers sliding over the rough hemp thread before falling back to his knees.

Changsun Qingjing was confident that his rebuttal would dispel Li Shimin's doubts and persuade him to go to Luoyang with him. Although it was somewhat self-aggrandizing, his concern was genuine.

That's enough!

Even though there was little romantic love between them, she was still willing to integrate into this noisy yet resilient family.

Changsun Qingjing may become a member of a family in terms of identity through marriage, but she will never easily become a member of that family in terms of spirit. The noise, awkwardness, undercurrents, intertwined schemes, and unwavering will of the Li family feel familiar, warm, interesting, and vibrant to her. Although imperfect, they are approachable enough, making her unable to resist wanting to get close to these different yet similar souls.

Speaking of his mother, the young man, whose emotions had just recovered from his coma, found himself weeping again. He couldn't control himself, letting the tears flow freely without trying to quell his overwhelming grief.

"You are the one my mother was most reluctant to leave behind before she passed away, and you are also the one she was most proud of. The final comfort you spoke of is for yourself, not for me!" Changsun Qingjing leaned closer to Li Shimin and put his right hand on his shoulder. "Strive to seize every opportunity in your destiny, go all out, stand at the heights your mother longed for, and touch the sky that she never touched."

Her palm slid down his back, which heaved with sobs. The rough, mourning clothes felt like sand, pricking and stinging her palm, and also pricking her heart.

Changsun Qingjing withdrew her hand, then subconsciously covered Li Shimin's clenched fist with her own palm, which was slightly sweaty and white under the lamplight. The jagged knuckles trembled beneath the lines of her delicate palm, like a tiger cub lying on the ground, about to burst uncontrollably through its pale skin.

Changsun Qingjing carefully held her hand in the air, hesitating whether to wipe away her husband's tears. She felt as clumsy as a fledgling swallow huddled under the eaves, helpless in the face of a sudden storm.

She had never met anyone more sentimental than herself, or more precisely, anyone who could cry more than herself, especially since this person was a natural leader among teenagers her age.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have made you miss your mother." Changsun Qingjing couldn't remember which of her words had touched or triggered Li Shimin's heart-wrenching pain. If she had known beforehand, she would never have intentionally looked back at that heart-wrenching passage.

Li Shimin pressed her dangling hand against his tear-streaked cheek, looking helpless, and said, "It has nothing to do with your words. Mother is gone, and memories keep popping into my head, floating before my eyes, sometimes blurry, sometimes clear. I dare not fall asleep, I'm afraid that if I do, I'll forget all these memories when I wake up..."

While Changsun Qingjing was indeed grieving, she wouldn't have entertained a series of delusions unrelated to the pain of losing a loved one. She was infected by this unfounded anxiety, and even felt that for a young man so devoted to his mother, any confused or delusional thoughts after losing a loved one were understandable.

She tried to wipe away the undried tears around Li Shimin's eyes with her fingers, but unexpectedly, in his grief, Li Shimin buried his face in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably at her knees, like a fledgling eagle drenched by a rainstorm on its return journey, fearfully awaiting its unknown fate at the foot of the cliff. And she was the only greenery and vitality in this desolate landscape. Grasping this only greenery and vitality was his only choice.

Changsun Qingjing gently cradled Li Shimin's disheveled head, placing it softly in her arms, as if only this could soothe his fearful and uneasy heart. Li Shimin suddenly stretched out his arms and tightly embraced his wife's waist, letting tears stream down his face in her arms. The rolling of his tender Adam's apple, the throbbing of his temples, and the clear, firm pulse resonated with hers, causing the young girl to tremble uncontrollably.

Several familiar figures appeared in her peripheral vision, and Changsun Qingjing was momentarily embarrassed. She gently patted Li Shimin's back: "Would you like to get up and wipe your tears?"

The boy shook his head stubbornly, cried even harder than before, and locked his arms even tighter.

Li Shimin snapped out of his daze, hastily knelt down, and straightened his mourning clothes. He was so dizzy that he almost fell backward.

Changsun Qingjing stretched out two fingers to support his back slightly, and he lowered his head in embarrassment. He then tossed a silk handkerchief to his knees, letting him wipe away his tears himself.

The author says: The two children are clumsily planning for the future.

In the next chapter, Third Sister will have an awkward chat with the young couple about a topic everyone's interested in. [Oh oh oh]