Chapter 62: Poor Creature "I'm just afraid she doesn't hate me anymore."...

Shen Changfeng's consciousness seemed to be floating in mid-air, drifting up and down, not knowing where he was. All he could see was a vast expanse of white. He raised his hand, and a snowflake fell into it. He hated snow, absolutely hated it.

But the dampness and itchiness in his palms didn't disappear as the snow melted; instead, they became more pronounced. His fingertips prickled, and he seemed to shrink his hand, only to feel something furry rubbing against it.

Ah, it's her rabbit.

With the last shred of consciousness left in him, he thought: It's so cold, the rabbit will freeze to death.

He thought to himself: If the rabbit died, he would die too. But the rabbit was not dead yet, so he could not die either.

He struggled hard to open his eyelids, trying to move his arms to hold the two rabbits in his arms. Finally, at a certain moment, he gathered enough strength, stretched out his hand - and touched someone's hand.

Then the man shook his hand back, and even patted his shoulder, saying, "Okay, I'm here. Go to sleep."

Shen Changfeng felt bewildered, the man's voice both strange and familiar. He couldn't place it for a moment, but upon hearing it, he felt he would help take care of the rabbits, and he fell asleep peacefully. He didn't know how long it took before he felt his body tossed and turned like a pancake. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a pair of hands peeling off his clothes. He stared up, stunned, along the lean, honey-colored arm, and met a scarred face.

He had sharp eyebrows and bright eyes, and looked very heroic. On his right cheek was a hideous dark red scar that looked like half of a centipede's body. He was wearing a coarse blue cloth, but his gangster spirit could not be concealed.

Scarface raised his eyebrows: "Awake?" and then reached out to untie his belt.

It's a woman!

Shen Changfeng's heart skipped a beat, and then he fainted again.

Scarface patted Shen Changfeng's face suspiciously: "Huh? Are you so easily frightened?"

A young man walked in. Seeing Duan Sanniang looking as if she was about to execute someone on the spot, he quickly put his bags on the table and snatched the bandage from her hand, "Sister, why are you still doing this?"

Duan Sanniang replied, "Master Qin is my brother, so his brother is my brother, right? It's just a change of medicine, what's the problem?"

Duan Silang shook his head helplessly: "Sister, that's not how you round off. This isn't like Niujiazhuang, where you can just run out to work in a short coat and shorts. City people are shy. Lord Qin knows what happened when we rescued him, doesn't he..."

Duan Sanniang put her hands on her hips and said, "Let me correct you. I was the one who saved the person. You were just yelling at the sidelines."

Duan Sanlang put clothes on the person on the bed and said, "Yes, yes, you fished it out. And don't show off those idioms and poems you learned in front of Lord Qin."

Duan Sanniang disagreed: "That's not right. I'm eager to learn and I'm not ashamed to ask questions. Lord Qin must be very pleased. Didn't you see how happy he was when I learned to use new words?"

Duan Silang sighed: "It's not the way to ask questions without feeling ashamed. A wry smile is still a smile. Oh, sister, please don't be like this. I can't hold my head up outside..."

Duan Sanniang raised her elbow, and Duan Silang quickly covered his head and ran away.

When he woke up again, Shen Changfeng found that his hands and feet had some strength and he could slowly get up and get out of bed.

The time was perfect, the moon was dark and the wind was strong, perfect for leaving without saying goodbye.

As soon as he walked out of the room, Duan Silang handed him the basin without any hesitation: "Hey! Can you get out of bed? The bathroom is still empty. Go quickly, or you will have to queue again later."

It would have been fine if he hadn't said anything, but as soon as he mentioned Shen Changfeng, he felt that his body, which had been lying down for more than half a month, was smelly and itchy. Thinking that it would take more than half an hour before that person arrived, it would be okay for him to wash up and leave quickly.

When I finished packing and walked out of the back hall, someone called out from behind, "Are you ready? Come and have dinner."

Shen Changfeng's back stiffened, he was silent for a moment, and continued to walk forward.

The person behind him said faintly: "Chen Du, your rabbit is still in my hands."

Duan Sanniang clapped her hands and praised, "This tactic of waiting for the rabbit to come to you is brilliant!"

Duan Silang on the side said: "Sister, this is not the way to use the saying 'wait for the rabbit to come'. No, it seems to be used this way, but it's not quite right..."

With his head down, Shen Changfeng shuffled over to the table. He was like a moving, gloomy cloud, instantly casting a shadow over everything around him. The atmosphere gradually grew oppressive and heavy, and there seemed to be an unspoken awkwardness spreading between the two men.

Duan Sanniang lifted her brother by the collar and said, "We are full, enjoy your meal!"

Shen Changfeng suddenly saw a pair of rinsed chopsticks and heard the person opposite him say, "What are you standing there for? Do you want me to feed you?"

Of course Shen Changfeng couldn't let him feed him, so he took the chopsticks and sat down.

Qin Yan glanced at Shen Changfeng who was quietly eating rice, picked up the wine pot and poured a glass of wine, then pushed it to the opposite side. The latter finally spoke: "I'm injured, I won't drink anymore."

Qin Yan raised his eyebrows slightly, as if he was a little surprised to hear these words from his mouth. In the past, he drank wine as if it were water.

The rabbits in the bamboo basket heard Shen Changfeng's voice and poked their heads out with their ears perked up. Shen Changfeng picked them up with one hand and placed them on his knees. He clenched his fist and rubbed the side of the white rabbits' noses with his knuckles. The two rabbits twitched their pink noses and tentatively nudged his fingertips.

Shen Changfeng gently kneaded the crescent-shaped depression behind one of the rabbits' ears and slowly spread out his palm. The rabbit tilted its head with blurry eyes and lay down softly with its warm belly pressed against his tiger's mouth, making a vague snoring sound.

Another rabbit came over and nudged his free hand, signaling him to treat both equally. Shen Changfeng raised the corner of his mouth slightly, took out a handkerchief, and carefully wiped the fur and paws of both rabbits.

Qin Yan looked at Shen Changfeng's soothing movements, and saw clearly the softness and warmth in his eyes, and couldn't help but be moved: He has always been impetuous, when has he ever been so patient and meticulous before?

Qin Yan knew that he was not the kind of person who would raise small animals for fun. After thinking about it for a while, he quickly understood who the original owner of the two rabbits was, and also quickly understood who had caused such a change in him.

He was like a defeated and trapped beast, his eyes had lost their edge, all his claws had been retracted, and he hid in a corner, licking his old wounds over and over again in his memories.

Loud firecrackers were heard outside the inn. Shen Changfeng came back to his senses and saw the new Spring Festival couplets posted on the house outside. Only then did he realize that what Qin Yan poured for him was Tu Su wine. Another year was about to pass.

Several brilliant fireworks blossomed in the night sky. Shen Changfeng gazed at the blazing fireworks and recalled meeting Lin Meizhu at this very moment last year on Magpie Fairy Bridge. But now, everything had changed, like a dream, leaving no trace. She had abandoned him, leaving him all alone in this world, like a floating duckweed with nowhere to turn. A sudden pang of pain pierced his heart, and he abruptly closed his eyes, straining to suppress the heat in his eyes.

Qin Yan turned his head to look at the night sky. Even though the fireworks had long since dissipated, he did not turn back for a long time. His thin silhouette was equally lonely and desolate.

The neighbors were having a reunion dinner when they saw two young men sitting behind the open window of the opposite door. One of them looked sad and pitiful in his own shadow, while the other looked up at the moon and sighed to himself. The children crowded in front of the window.

One asked, "Did they have a fight? Why are you so sad?"

Another asked, "Why are they spending the New Year at the inn?"

One said, "Why don't they go home?"

Another said: "Maybe he didn't remember the way home, so pitiful."

Shen Changfeng felt lonely. It was not a pity to lose his own home, but what about Qin Yan?

The sound of firecrackers gradually died down, the room became unusually quiet, and the voices became unusually clear.

"Feel sorry."

Shen Qin raised his head at the same time, and as their eyes met in tacit understanding, something instantly disappeared in mid-air. Both of their faces relaxed and they gently pulled up the corners of their mouths.

Qin Yan's smile turned bitter, "Actually, I know everything." So you don't have to apologize.

From the beginning, Qin Yan knew that Su Qinxue preferred Shen Changfeng, and that she agreed to his proposal just to provoke Shen Changfeng. He knew that Shen Changfeng had no romantic feelings for Su Qinxue, and he also knew that even after they got married, Su Qinxue was still secretly comparing herself to Shen Changfeng.

He knew everything. But that didn't stop him from loving her. He felt that she was just a little willful. Compared with her other strengths, this was just a flaw that outweighed her merits.

He believed in Shen Changfeng's character, and was also confident that Su Qinxue loved him, and believed that she could stick to the final bottom line.

But all this was based on assumptions made when he was still with Su Qinxue.

He had no idea that in just a few months, his life would be turned upside down like this.

That day, while patrolling the river, he encountered a fugitive robbery. His servant died while protecting his master. The thief stole his and his servant's clothes and ivory tokens, and prepared to escape in disguise.

But it was precisely because of this that Qin Yan saved his life. He was investigating a riverbank breach at the time, holding crucial evidence and a thorn in the side of corrupt local officials. The thief had just changed his clothes when he ran into the assassins. Qin Yan knew that no matter who won, he would be killed. While the two gangs were busy fighting, he jumped into the river.

By the time Shen Changfeng was ordered to investigate, local officials had already erased all traces of the crime.

After being rescued by the Duan siblings, he learned of his own death at the local county government office. Imagined Su Qinxue's grief-stricken expression, and he was extremely anxious. Fearing another assassination attempt, he could only find an opportunity to secretly contact Shen Changfeng's undercover agent and then hurried to the capital. On the way, he heard rumors about Shen and Su and found them amusing, but soon stopped laughing because something even more absurd had happened. He witnessed Qin Ting holding Su Qinxue tightly in his arms at the Dingbei Palace.

His wife was pregnant with his brother's child.

But the child's surname was Qin, so this scandal couldn't be made public. Qin Yan had his own selfish motives. Regardless of whether outsiders believed it or not, he could only say that the child was his. The only one who bore the blame was Shen Changfeng.

Shen Changfeng had a clear conscience towards Qin Yan, but Qin Yan felt extremely guilty towards Shen Changfeng.

Shen Changfeng naturally understood why Qin Yan apologized and said with a curled lip, "It's all the same." The problem between him and Lin Meizhu wasn't caused by a single person; Su Qinxue's appearance only exacerbated the conflict. She left him because he was rotten. So there was no need to feel uneasy.

Shen Changfeng asked: "Do you hate her?"

Qin Yan seemed to be drunk. His handsome face was flushed, his eyes were sparkling, and he looked a little drunk. He took a deep breath, covered his face with his hands, and said in a trembling voice: "I hate myself even more."

I hate myself for still loving her at this moment.

I hate myself for not being able to let her go. I hate myself for loving her so humbly.

Qin Yan asked: "What about you?"

After waiting for a long time without getting a reply, Qin Yan slumped down on the table.

In the past, Shen Changfeng would have laughed at him or even looked down on him for struggling so painfully for a woman, but now, he was afraid that he was even worse than him.

Shen Changfeng took the wine jug from his hand, poured himself a glass of wine, took a sip, and felt it was like drinking coptis chinensis or a knife cutting his throat. But slowly, he could taste another flavor in this turbulent and contradictory taste. He didn't know that she had such magic that when he thought of her, all the bitterness would be accompanied by a sweet aftertaste.

The alcohol was so strong that it made his eyes dry and his nose blocked. He spoke in a stagnant voice: "I'm just afraid she doesn't hate me anymore."

The next morning, several figures came to the table.

"Master Qin! Chief Qin! My dear brother! Wake up!"

Qin Yan's eyes were half-drunk, and he leaned on his elbows to look at the person who came. "Ah, it's Sanniang."

Shen Changfeng was a light sleeper to begin with, and when he heard this, he looked up, a bit surprised. He remembered that it was the two brothers who escorted Qin Yan to the capital. Now, taking a closer look, he realized that he might have recognized the wrong person. The tall figure wearing a bamboo hat and straw sandals, leaning against the door and stamping his feet in the mud, was clearly Duan Sanniang.

Duan Sanniang wasn't much older than him, roughly the same age as Qin Yan. Perhaps because she was used to doing manual labor, her rough hands had given him the impression that she was older. In reality, she was handsome and sturdy, with a tall, masculine figure and delicate, feminine features. A teardrop mole drooped at the corner of her eye, giving her a kind of androgynous beauty. However, her complexion wasn't as fair and delicate as an average woman's, making it easy for people to overlook her appearance.

Qin Yan and Shen Changfeng introduced the newcomer and said, "That day, Sanniang saw that your bandage was soaked with blood, so she wanted to help you change the medicine. Please don't be offended."

Only then did Shen Changfeng realize that it was Qin Yan who came to visit the Duan siblings that day. Duan Sanniang was the first to hear the hurried sound of horse hooves. Qin Yan was worried about her going out alone to check, so several people followed the sound and went to look for him, and finally rescued him.

Duan Silang knew it all. His sister had resold horses before, so he knew the wailing horse was no ordinary one. He also guessed that it was most likely in trouble and wanted to take advantage of the situation to steal the horse. However, since Duan Sanniang didn't mention it, Duan Silang naturally didn't dare to mention it to Qin Yan.

Duan Sanniang said, "Master Qin, spring is almost here. I want to go home and farm."

Qin Yan nodded. They had originally planned to leave before the New Year, but their journey was delayed because of saving Shen Changfeng. He gave Su Qinxue enough respect. Whether to keep the child was entirely up to her. If she gave birth to the child, the Qin family would help raise it; if she didn't want to keep the child, he would completely understand.

But he could no longer convince himself to stay with her. He petitioned the emperor to return to Henan Province as a small county magistrate to benefit the people in order to repay her for saving his life. The emperor readily agreed.

He rubbed his face and said, "Oh, then let's get going quickly. By the time we finish sowing, the winter wheat will be almost ripe."

Duan Sanniang stuffed a steamed bun into his palm and said, "Hurry up and eat something to fill your stomach. The car is very bumpy and your stomach will hurt again soon."

Qin Yan was actually not hungry at all and had no appetite, but he still obediently took a few bites and finished it with tea.

Shen Changfeng stood in front of the door, watching Qin Yan climb onto the carriage with familiarity and greet the people from the same village or neighboring villages who came to the capital to do business. Many people also asked where Duan Sanniang was going and if they could give them a ride.

The small ox cart was filled with more than a dozen people, but they all found their own seats and felt spacious and satisfied.

Duan Silang asked, "Sir, don't you need to go home and pack your bags?"

Qin Yan smiled and said, "When I first arrived at Niujia Village, I also had nothing. This time, I am still traveling light, free and unrestrained."

Duan Sanniang waved her whip and laughed, "You are wrong. When I first pulled you out of the water, you didn't even have a pair of underwear on. I saw it clearly. You are really too modest."

Qin Yan was stunned for a moment before he realized what she was saying, and his face turned red.

Duan Silang pointed at the person in front of him with an unnatural expression, "Actually, I was just passing by. I don't know her very well. I don't know her."

Qin Yan looked at the confused Duan Sanniang and patiently taught her with a blushing face: "Sanniang, being without valuables means having no extra things around you..."

Duan Sanniang looked educated and praised him generously, "Mr. Qin is truly a man of great learning and talent. It's a real waste of talent for him to come to Niujiazhuang. Mr. Qin, am I using the right words this time?"

Qin Yan leaned his hands back against the shaft of the cart, a gentle breeze caressing his hair and the warm sunlight falling on his face. He heard the chattering and laughter beside him and smelled the faint scent of grass on Duan Sanniang. Suddenly, he felt that the world wasn't so bad after all. He unconsciously curled his lips and said, "That's true, but I may not be as good as you say."

"Everyone, how is Mr. Qin?"

Everyone said in unison: "Okay!"

Shen Changfeng couldn't help but smile. Qin Yan said they shared the same suffering, but that wasn't true. Qin Yan was far better than him because he had already found his own path. He had taken deep roots in a certain land, and one day he would flourish and bear fruit. It was just that he hadn't discovered it yet.

I am still the only one who is pitiful.