Chapter 68 Awakening

Chen Dingyao stayed by her bedside all night. He was surprised and happy to see her finally wake up. He was still immersed in the sweetness of their mutual understanding, but was suddenly hit by this question, which poured a bucket of cold water on him.

He couldn't help but purse his lips and couldn't say anything for a while.

Chanzhen covered her chest, feeling so painful that she could hardly breathe. Why could the man who had forced her and made her hate him all her life still pretend to be innocent and approach her in this life, deceiving her who knew nothing about it into giving him her true heart?

What do you mean they were destined to be together in the previous life? It was clearly an irreparable fate that was forced upon them by him!

"Your Majesty, you watched me, a completely ignorant person, gradually fall in love with you and become inseparable from you. Aren't you very proud?"

The hatred and pain from her previous life suddenly surged up, but her previous love for him was not false. The strong love and hatred intertwined made her unsure of how to face the man who had entangled her for two lifetimes. Before she knew it, she was in tears.

"The person you couldn't get in your previous life has finally fallen into your arms." She felt so pathetic. Even at this moment, she couldn't forget the time she spent with him, his sweet words, and the joy she felt when she saw him. "Congratulations! You finally got what you wanted."

She cried and laughed, her eyes full of self-mockery.

"Zhenzhen!" Chen Dingyao couldn't bear to see her expression like that, so he stepped forward and hugged her. "It's my fault that I deceived you. It's my own greed. But no matter the past or present life, my love for you is as clear as the sun and the moon. Let's just stay like before, okay?"

"Your Majesty, what makes you think that after I remember everything, I can still calmly return to the way things were before?" Zen Zhen pushed him away. "Impossible."

Chan Zhen shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow. Tears streamed down his face, leaving wet marks on the quilt. "I can't do this. I remember the persecution you inflicted on me in my previous life. I remember the three months of darkness in the Purple Palace. I remember the abuse and strange looks from the world... I hate you!"

No matter in past or present life, he had forced his way into her world regardless of everything and forcibly left his mark on her body and heart. Now, whenever she saw his face, her chest couldn't help but ache.

It hurt so much that she curled up and covered her chest, not understanding why it hurt to hate him, and why it hurt to love him too.

"I don't want to see you again..." she murmured, tears gradually blurring her eyes.

Is it true that only when I don't see him can I stop feeling pain?

The thing that he feared the most finally happened. He looked at Zenzhen's eyes full of hatred for him, as if he had returned to the moment when she left him in his previous life.

"Are you going to abandon me again?" He was overwhelmed by the fact that Chan Zhen didn't want him again. His eyes instantly turned red and he tightly grasped her shoulders. "You said you would forgive me and stay with me forever. Chan Zhen, you can't go back on your word."

Chan Zhen's grip hurt. He suddenly raised his head and said harshly, "So what if I break my promise? Are you allowed to take advantage of me and deceive me?"

How despicable this man was. He had forced her into one life, and was deceiving her in the second. Why was he always so high and mighty, willing to do whatever he wanted to get it? All the sweet words he had said in the past were false, just a way for him to deceive her.

Her heart was cold. I will not be forced by you anymore, nor will I be easily fooled by you anymore.

"Chanzhen, you are still not clear-headed. Don't deliberately make me angry again." His emotions that were about to explode suddenly subsided, and he looked at her and said quietly.

"It's not your call whether I'm sane or not," Zenjin glared back at him fearlessly. "I don't want to see you again."

The next moment she was suddenly pushed back onto the bed, and he pressed on her, his calmness making her feel uneasy.

"Zenzhen," he gently stroked her face, feeling the trembling beneath him, "You know that no matter what you do, I will not be angry with you, so you have nothing to fear."

Zenzhen bit his lip, but couldn't find the words to refute.

"You can love me or hate me, but please don't say you'll never see me again." A gentle smile appeared in his eyes. "You know my temper and have seen me go crazy. I don't want to scare you again."

Chan Zhen recalled the crazy three months in Zichen Palace. He shuddered slightly and turned away, speaking calmly, "So, Your Majesty is threatening me?"

She recalled his gentle care for her during their lovemaking, and couldn't help but feel aggrieved. "Is this what you call loving me? Even if you were to live again, you wouldn't have changed at all. You still want to force me to submit?"

How could she be so easily deceived by his gentle appearance in this life? The tears that had just stopped flowing out again uncontrollably.

Seeing her crying again, he was suddenly stunned. Zen Zhen rarely cried so sadly in front of him in this life. This was the treasure he held in his hands, but every time she cried, it was because of him.

After a long time, he finally sighed, held her face in his hands and wiped away the tears from her face with his thumb.

"Don't cry, it's all my fault." He coaxed her with the gentle tone she usually liked best, "You just gave birth to a child, crying like this is not good for your health."

Zen Zhen just remembered Yuan Zhao and immediately grabbed his hand: "I want to see Zhao'er."

Her Zhao'er, she had only seen him once in this life, and she didn't know if his body was still as fragile as in his previous life.

"You always care more about Zhao'er than me." He showed a bitter smile on his face.

Chan Zhen's tone was icy: "Zhao Er never tricked me like you did."

He was silent, turned around and called the palace maid to bring Yuan Zhao over.

Zen Zhen waited eagerly, and when he came closer holding Yuan Zhao, he couldn't wait to take the child into his arms.

Yuan Zhao was sleeping soundly in a bright yellow swaddling cloth. There was no trace of the paleness on his rosy and tender face, and his breathing was even.

Feeling the heat close to him, Zenzhen's heart finally settled down and tears welled up in his eyes.

Fortunately, Yuan Zhao looked very healthy in this life, which helped to ease the haze in her heart caused by her previous life.

He watched with bitterness as she gently held Zhao'er in her arms. Originally, he had expected that he would hold both mother and child in his arms, but now he could not take a step forward no matter what.

Chanzhen was still resisting him. If he forced himself to get closer, it would only make her sad and cry. He had already let her down in his previous life, and he couldn't make another mistake in this life.

So he just stood by the bed and said, "I ordered the imperial physician to examine Zhao'er. He is in good health and will grow up safely in this life."

The expression on Chan Zhen's face relaxed a little, and his eyes looked at Yuan Zhao more gently, but he still didn't look up at him.

Chen Dingyao had long been accustomed to her acting coquettishly and joking with him, and accustomed to the admiration in her eyes whenever she looked at him. Now that she had returned to her previous life overnight, it was even more difficult for him to accept it than before.

He could endure her not loving him for the rest of her life as long as she was by his side, but he could not endure losing it all after gaining her true heart.

To gain and then lose, this is what it feels like.

"Zenzhen..." He tried to evoke some affection from her towards him, but she interrupted him coldly.

"Your Majesty, I do not wish to see you now."

"I..." He wanted to say something to keep her, but the next moment he saw her finally looking up at him, but her eyes were full of coldness, and he could see a hint of grievance in them.

"You said you wouldn't force me anymore. Don't make me hate you more."

He silently swallowed the words that were on the tip of his tongue. It turned out that Chan Zhen had also grown up. She knew his weaknesses and knew how to control him, unlike in her previous life when she fought with him recklessly until she was bloodied.

This kind of Zen was truly cultivated by him personally, and he didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

"I'm leaving. Stop crying and take care of yourself." He opened his mouth, actually he had a thousand words to say, but seeing her immediately lower her head and not wanting to look at him any more, all his words turned into just one sentence, "Take care."

Zen Zhen tried hard not to look up and watched him leave. After he left, the room fell into silence. After a long time, a tear suddenly fell on Yuan Zhao's face with a "plop" sound. The sound was particularly clear.

Yuan Zhao woke up from his sleep, but did not cry. He just opened his big eyes like black grapes. He could not see the picture clearly, but consciously moved towards the arms that made him feel warm, shouting "Ah ah" in his mouth.

Zen Zhen touched his face and said in a low voice: "Your father is a bad man. Let's not have him anymore, okay?"

Yuan Zhao didn't understand, he just smiled at her and said "ahh", with shallow dimples appearing on both sides of his cheeks.

"Mother knows you like him," Zen Zhen reached out and gently poked his chubby little face, "but he's so mean."

In her previous life, she had not been in good health since giving birth to Yuan Zhao and often had to stay in bed. She was unable to raise Yuan Zhao, so most of the time Yuan Zhao was raised by His Majesty personally.

Even though she hated him, she had to admit that he was a truly wonderful father to Yuan Zhao. She held Yuan Zhao in her arms for almost as long as he did. Yuan Zhao never showed the usual fear of the princes in front of him. He dared to pee on him and scribble in his study, and he never scolded Yuan Zhao.

As Yuan Zhao grew older, he realized that the relationship between her and His Majesty was not very good, so he often dragged him to her to show his courtesy. Only when Yuan Zhao was present would her expression towards him be slightly better.

The days when Yuan Zhao was there were the few happy times in her previous life.

But in this life, all her happy memories were related to him.

"I'm so stupid." She had her mother's example before her and had vowed not to give her true heart to any man, but in the end she still foolishly gave her heart away.

"Zhao'er, don't be like me." She paused, then added, "Don't be like your father either."

Don't become a person like him, selfish, arrogant and full of lies.

"It's enough to have one person like him in this world."

She thought of Prince Jin who had broken into her palace and treated her disrespectfully, and she couldn't help but close her eyes with a headache.

His Highness had also recovered his memories of his past life, she was absolutely certain of this. At this moment, she suddenly felt that being silly was fine, no longer having to dwell on past lives and the messy relationship between the three of them.

She knew that His Majesty would not let go. He was only afraid that she would get hurt so he chose to step back temporarily. And His Highness, judging from the way he treated her that day, did not seem like he would let go either.

And what about her? In her previous life, she was stigmatized by His Majesty's seizure of her concubine. In this life, she only hoped that His Majesty would control himself and not drag her into this quagmire again.

She just wanted to live a simple life with Zhao'er until old age.