Chapter 48

Before Chenhe could take two steps, his wrist was grabbed.

Chen Yuchuan pulled hard, and Shen He was caught off guard and pulled back. Chen Yuchuan's hand was placed on his back, and Shen He's back pressed against the wall. Chen Yuchuan followed closely and put his arms around Shen He's sides, trapping him between the wall and himself.

"What did you say?" Chen Yuchuan stared at him, his eyes filled with a dangerous scrutiny. "A straight man for now?"

Shen He looked up at him: "Otherwise what?"

"Then I'd better hurry."

No sooner had he finished speaking than Chen Yuchuan lowered his head and kissed Shen He's cheek. He kissed her urgently, with a reckless abandon.

Shen He turned his head away: "What are you doing?"

"If I kiss you a few more times, you won't be a straight man anymore," Chen Yuchuan said, his lips brushing against Chen He's nose. "You said it yourself, and now you can't take it back."

Shenhe reached out and pushed him, but not with much force.

Chen Yuchuan sensed his tolerance, moved his lips to his eyelids, lightly touched them, then moved down to the corner of his mouth. His breath brushed against his lips, but there was no further movement. Chen Yuchuan simply pressed close, nose to nose, as if waiting for something.

A few seconds later, he turned his head and kissed Shen He on the chin.

Shen He raised his hand and pressed it against Chen Yuchuan's face, pushing him away a little.

"Alright, I have things to do tomorrow, I need to get up early."

Chen Yuchuan was pushed away, but his hand remained on Shen He's waist: "What is it?"

"Come with me to City A."

What are you going to City A for?

"It's nothing." Shen He pulled away from his embrace. "I'm going to wash up."

Chen Yuchuan watched him walk into the bathroom, licked his lips, went to the balcony, took out a cigarette from his cigarette case, but didn't dare to light it.

After washing up in the river, she changed into a loose set of pajamas.

Chen Yuchuan sat on the carpet by the bed, looking at something on his phone.

Shen He glanced at him: "Why aren't you going back yet?"

"..." Chen Yuchuan's gaze flickered across the phone screen, but he didn't say anything.

"?"

"Let me sit a little longer, please."

Shen He stopped drying his hair and stared at him for a few seconds. Chen Yuchuan was still staring at his phone, but his posture was obviously stiff, and his eyes were not focused on the screen at all.

Shenhe suddenly realized something.

Shen He put down the towel, walked to the bedside, and looked down at Chen Yuchuan: "You want to sleep with me?"

Chen Yuchuan raised his head, met his gaze, his Adam's apple bobbed, but he didn't speak.

"Forget it, you never sleep well when you sleep with me," Shen He said.

"...Who said that?"

"It's written all over your face." Shen He paused, then suddenly realized something, somewhat speechless, "Wait a minute, what exactly are you thinking when you're sleeping with me later?"

Chen Yuchuan looked away guiltily.

"say."

"What could you possibly be thinking?" Chen Yuchuan grabbed Shen He's hand and pulled him to sit down beside him, his voice carrying its usual roguish tone. "With your sweetheart by your side, who could remain unmoved?"

Shen He stared at him, expressionless.

Chen Yuchuan got more and more excited as he spoke, leaning closer to Shen He with his hand on his side: "You're lying next to me, and you expect me to sleep? I'm not—"

"Shut up." Shen He interrupted him.

"Okay, okay." Chen Yuchuan raised his hands in surrender, but a smile still lingered on his lips. "I won't bother you today; there will be plenty of time later."

Chen Yuchuan stood up, something flashing in his eyes, but in the end he just bent down and quickly kissed Shen He on the forehead: "Goodnight, baby."

Shen He was utterly speechless: "Can you please stop yelling?"

Chen Yuchuan turned and left quickly. The door closed, and the room fell silent.

Shen He stared at the ceiling, reached up and touched the goosebumps on his hands, and sighed.

Chen Yuchuan returned to his room, closed the door behind him, and leaned against the door to take a deep breath.

My heart was pounding violently, almost abnormally fast.

He felt restless, desire surging through his blood, making his chest tighten. Shen He's simple "Okay," that gentle smile, and the slight stiffness in his body as he let him kiss him, the warm touch on his cheek…

Chen Yuchuan closed his eyes and cleared his mind. He was afraid that if he stayed any longer, he might do something impulsive that would displease Shen He.

After sitting on the edge of the bed for a while, until his heartbeat had calmed down a bit, Chen Yuchuan reached into the bedside table and took out another cell phone.

It's full of sunken riverbeds.

Some are screenshots from recent interviews, some are screenshots from match replays, showing Shen He with a slightly furrowed brow, or a rare relaxed expression after winning a match, some are casual photos taken when the two went out together some time ago, and many more are photos from their school days.

Chen Yuchuan flipped through the photos one by one, finally stopping at two pictures.

The first picture is of the old school rooftop, where Shen He is sitting against the wall, catching up on sleep. Back then, his face was still a bit chubby, not as thin and defined as it is now. The sunlight is falling directly on his face, his eyelashes casting a small shadow on his cheek.

Looking at the photo, Chen Yuchuan couldn't help but reach out and poke Chen He's face with his fingertip.

The second photo is from when we went stargazing last time. Shen He was sleeping in the passenger seat. Outside the car window was a pitch-black night sky. Shen He's face was turned to the side, his expression indifferent, as if he was rejecting anything that came near.

At that time, Chen Yuchuan never imagined that he and Shen He would develop to this point.

Chen Yuchuan stared at the two photos for a long time, his fingers tracing patterns on the screen. Then he opened Weibo, posted the photos, and added only a simple emoticon as a caption:

(^_^)(-_-)

He placed his phone face down on the bed, lay down, and stared at the ceiling.

The room was so quiet that you could hear your own heartbeat.

Chen Yuchuan closed his eyes, his mind filled with images of Chen He.

He rolled over, buried his face in the pillow, and couldn't help but smile.

Hold.

I'm fucking ecstatic!

The next morning, Chen Yuchuan drove his car, and Shen He opened his phone. A Weibo post from Chen Yuchuan popped up on his homepage. He clicked on it and saw the photo of the rooftop; the comments section was already buzzing with excitement.

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, who is this?!

[Sichuan dog, you finally decided to post pictures of your wife!]

[The one on the left is so cute, I want to kiss her! The one on the right is so handsome, I'm smitten!]

Wait, that school uniform... which school is this from?

[I started dating them back in school, why were the guys pretending not to know each other before?]

[This isn't my boyfriend's perspective, I'll eat shit upside down!]

[When Styx officially announced their relationship, Trump didn't retweet it, and I thought it was over, sob sob.]

[They really talked, right?]

Shen He read the comments for a while, then looked at the school uniform covering himself in the photo.

It's not his; what's his will only be under his butt.

Therefore, it can only be Chen Yuchuan's.

Shen He turned his head to look at Chen Yuchuan, who was driving. Chen Yuchuan gripped the steering wheel seriously, looking straight ahead, appearing very focused and reliable.

The car stopped at a traffic light intersection, and Shen He opened the photo: "We're not familiar with each other now, are we?"

Chen Yuchuan glanced at it, then looked back at the road, his fingers pausing on the steering wheel.

"..." He paused for a few seconds, "It was just a quick snapshot."

Shen He stared at his profile. "I remember back then we barely exchanged a few words."

Chen Yuchuan's Adam's apple bobbed, but he kept his eyes fixed on the distance: "So?"

"So why did you cover me with your clothes?"

Chen Yuchuan remained silent.

A few seconds later, Chen Yuchuan suddenly laughed: "I just want to see how good-looking you are."

Shen He stared at him for a few seconds, then asked suspiciously, "You liked me back then?"

"So what? You insisted on sitting next to me, just so I would like you."

"Tsk." Shen He leaned back in his chair and continued looking at his phone. "Fine."

The car was parked in front of a quiet office building.

Shen He unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared to get out of the car, but Chen Yuchuan didn't move.

Chen Yuchuan stared at the building, his brows furrowing. He recognized it; it was a private psychological clinic in City A.

“Sink into the river.” Chen Yuchuan suddenly reached out and grabbed his wrist.

The action of sinking into the river was stopped.

The next second, Chen Yuchuan unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned over, and gently hugged him.

"What's wrong with you?" Chen Yuchuan's voice was a little hoarse as he whispered in Shen He's ear, "Why can't you tell me about our relationship now?"

Shenhe reached out and nudged his shoulder: "You're really alright."

Chen Yuchuan hugged Shen He even tighter. He stared at Shen He, his voice muffled: "Tell me."

Shen He was silent for a few seconds, then placed his hand on Chen Yuchuan's back: "That black dog."

“He’s dead.” Shenhe’s voice was calm. “His body left a shadow on me.”

"It's nothing serious." Shen He looked away. "I just haven't been sleeping well lately, so I came for a consultation."

"That's it?" Chen Yuchuan stared at him, his eyes full of doubt.

“That’s it.” Shen He pushed him away. “I’m going up. You wait for me in the car.”

"I'll stay with you."

"No need." Shen He opened the car door. "I'll be down in about an hour."

The consultation room was very nice, and Shen He sat on the sofa.

"How is your sleep?" the doctor asked.

"Much better." Shen He leaned back on the sofa.

Is there any difference?

Shen He paused for a moment: "After changing my environment, I feel like I've become more open-minded."

The doctor nodded and made a note in his notebook: "What about other aspects? Last time you mentioned that you weren't interested in many things."

“Still the same.” Shen He looked out the window. “I’m indifferent to everything.”

Does this include games?

“Including.” Shen He looked away. “I can concentrate when I’m playing a match, but I’m completely lost afterward.”

“Your estrangement from others and your indifference to many things didn’t happen suddenly,” the doctor said gently. “That conversation was just a trigger that brought these emotions to the surface.”

Shen He lowered his eyes: "So?"

“You need to try to build a genuine emotional connection,” the doctor said. “Not projection, but a real connection.”

"I'm not very good at it."

“I know.” The doctor smiled. “Take it slow, start with someone you trust.”

Chen He thought of Chen Yuchuan.

"By the way, you mentioned last time that a friend of yours liked you." The doctor flipped through the records. "What happened after that?"

Shen He raised his head: "I've decided to face it."

"face?"

"Yes." Shen He's voice was calm. "I've agreed to be with him."

The doctor paused for a moment, then looked somewhat surprised: "This is a big step forward."

"Yeah?"

“Of course.” The doctor put down his notebook. “Your willingness to try building intimacy shows you want to get out of this uncomfortable situation. However…”

"But what?"

"Do you really want to be with him, or do you feel you should give him a response?" The doctor looked at him. "These are two different things."

Chen He remained silent for a long time.

"I don't know," he finally said. "I can't tell."

"Then take your time to figure it out," the doctor said. "Don't rush, and don't force yourself. If you feel something is wrong, you can stop anytime."

“But he…” Shen He paused, “he will be very sad.”

“Sink into the river.” The doctor’s voice became more serious. “You can’t force yourself to do things you don’t want to do just to avoid upsetting others. That’s not fair to you.”

“However, from your description, he has indeed helped you to some extent,” the doctor continued. “But you must remember that this does not mean you have to stay with him.”

"I see."

The doctor nodded. "But this is a good start."

“You don’t need to dwell on this issue right now.” The doctor closed his notebook. “Go back and observe your feelings. Don’t suppress them, and don’t run away from them. If you have anything to say, you can come to me anytime.”

After leaving the consultation room, Shen He stood in the corridor for a while.

He took out his phone and saw a message from Chen Yuchuan.

Is it over? How does it feel?

What would you like to eat? I'll go buy it.

Should I come up and pick you up?

Shen He stared at the three messages, his finger hovering over the screen for a few seconds.

Emotionally? It seems pretty good.

The elevator doors opened, and Chen He walked out of the building.

Chen Yuchuan was leaning against the car with a cigarette between his fingers, but he immediately threw it away when he saw him.

"How is it?" Chen Yuchuan looked him up and down.

"That's good." Shen He walked to the passenger seat. "I've made plans with Zhou Wen for lunch."

Chen Yuchuan's expression changed instantly. He strode up to Shen He and blocked the car door: "What do you want with Zhou Wen?"

"Let's talk about something."

"What are you talking about?" Chen Yuchuan's voice tightened. "Is there something you absolutely have to talk to him about?"

Shen He looked at him and noticed that he was very tense, even his jawline was taut. His eyes were full of vigilance and anxiety, like a wild beast ready to fight at any moment.

"It's just a meeting." Shen He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's with your reaction?"

“I…” Chen Yuchuan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Don’t go see him.”

"Why?"

There's no reason why.

Shen He stared at him for a few seconds: "You have a grudge against Zhou Wen?"

Chen Yuchuan didn't speak, but his fingers tightened.

"Chen Yuchuan".

"...I guess so." Chen Yuchuan gritted his teeth and grabbed Shen He's hand. "Anyway, don't see him."

Shen He's voice was calm: "There are some things I need to clarify between him and me."

"What's up?"

Shen He pushed his hand away, got into the passenger seat, and said, "Let's go eat first."

Chen Yuchuan stood still, his face grim.

Chenhe lowered the car window and looked at him: "Aren't you leaving?"

"..." Chen Yuchuan took a deep breath and went around to the driver's seat to get in.

Chen Yuchuan didn't say anything more, but his face was tense while driving, and he looked like he was in a bad mood.

"I'm just going to meet someone," Shen He said.

"I'm worried."

"What are you worried about?" Shen He raised an eyebrow and joked, "Afraid I'll run off with him?"

"..." Chen Yuchuan didn't speak, but his expression said it all.

Shen He sighed and patted his shoulder: "I'm going to talk business, not go on a date."

The car was parked in front of a coffee shop.

Chen Yuchuan stared intently at the glass door, his fingers tapping hard on the steering wheel.

Chen He unbuckled his seatbelt: "I'm going in."

"Wait a minute." Chen Yuchuan suddenly grabbed his hand. "Half an hour at most."

"Um?"

"You have to come out in half an hour," Chen Yuchuan said, looking at him. "Otherwise, I'll go in."

Seeing his tense expression, Shen He couldn't help but laugh: "I understand."

He opened the car door and walked into the coffee shop.

Zhou Wen had already arrived and was sitting by the window. When he saw Shen He enter, he looked up with a gentle smile on his face.

"Long time no see." Zhou Wen stood up.

"Mm." Shen He sat down opposite him.

After the waiter left, Shen He spoke directly: "I know you invested money in ASG because of me."

Zhou Wen smiled and said, "Yes, I want you to be happy at ASG, so I talked to the boss about it."

"Now that I've gone to VLG, I feel I still need to make things clear with you, otherwise I'll always feel like I owe you a favor."

“You don’t need to feel indebted to me. You know I’ve always wanted to do something for you.”

"Overall, we really don't owe you anything. ASG achieved its best result in history and its popularity has also increased a lot. You've definitely made a profit."

Shen He looked into his eyes, "But, do you like me?"

Zhou Wen was silent for a few seconds: "Did Chen Yuchuan tell you?"

Before Shen He could speak, Zhou Wen continued, his voice laced with sarcasm: "So, he likes you, do you know that?"

“He’s even more despicable.” Zhou Wen’s tone turned cold. “He’s already done this to you—”

“Chen Yuchuan didn’t tell me you liked me,” Shen He interrupted him. “I knew it myself.”

Zhou Wen was stunned.

"Moreover," Shen He leaned back in his chair, a slight smile playing on his lips.

“He likes me, but he never talks about what he’s done for me.” Shen He’s voice was calm. “So you’re annoying me.”

Zhou Wen's expression changed.

Shen He picked up his coffee and took a sip: "I came here today to make things clear. Don't do these self-indulgent things to me anymore. I don't need them."

"Shenhe!"

“Think about it carefully. You don’t actually like me; you just like yourself,” Shen He said.

Zhou Wen's face turned completely pale.

He stared at Shen He for a long time: "Are you and Chen Yuchuan together? Do you know what kind of person he is?"

“I’ve always seen clearly who he is and who you are.”

"I'm stating the truth!" Zhou Wen's voice rose slightly. "He's completely unworthy of you! A man like him—"

"Alright." Shen He stood up, his expression still calm. "I've said everything I needed to say."

Zhou Wen also stood up and grabbed his shoulders tightly, "Chen Yuchuan is not a good person, he will hurt you sooner or later."

Chen He swatted away Zhou Wen's hand with a bit of force, causing Zhou Wen to stumble. He then quickly caught up and grabbed Zhou Wen's hand.

The next second, Chen Yuchuan's fist slammed into Zhou Wen's face.

Zhou Wen was knocked back a few steps by the blow, overturning the chair behind him. He covered his face, and before he could react, Chen Yuchuan had already rushed up, grabbed him by the collar, and punched him in the face again.

"Chen Yuchuan!" Shen He quickly stepped forward and grabbed his hand.

Chen Yuchuan ignored him, grabbed Zhou Wen by the collar, pulled him up, and slammed him hard against the wall. Zhou Wen's head hit the wall with a dull thud.

"You fucking touch him again?" Chen Yuchuan's voice was terrifyingly deep, his eyes filled with violence.

Zhou Wen raised his hand, and Chen Yuchuan kicked him directly in the stomach. Zhou Wen bent over, letting out a painful groan.

Shen He rushed forward, grabbed Chen Yuchuan by the waist, and pulled him back forcefully: "That's enough!"

Chen Yuchuan seemed not to hear him and raised his hand as if to continue.

"Chen Yuchuan!" Shen He's voice turned cold, filled with obvious anger.

Chen Yuchuan paused in his movements.

"Do you want to be photographed and then get scolded along with me?" Shen He lowered his voice, his tone cold.

Chen Yuchuan's chest heaved violently, his eyes still fixed on Zhou Wen, but his hand slowly lowered.

Zhou Wen leaned against the wall, blood seeping from the corner of his mouth, his face deathly pale. He stared at Chen Yuchuan, his eyes filled with hatred.

"Haven't you learned your lesson from last time?" Chen Yuchuan leaned closer to him, his voice so low it sounded like it was being squeezed out of his throat, "Next time I'll fucking kill you."

Shen He grabbed Chen Yuchuan's wrist and forcefully pulled him out of the coffee shop.

"Are you crazy?" Shen He released him, his face grim.

Chen Yuchuan didn't speak, his chest was still heaving, and his eyes remained gloomy.

Shen He took a deep breath and turned to walk towards the parking lot.

Chen Yuchuan paused for a moment, then quickly followed: "Sink the river!"

"Shut up." Shen He didn't even turn his head. "Don't speak."

After the two got into the car, Chen Yuchuan gradually calmed down. He took out his phone and made a call to have someone come and drive.

After hanging up the phone, Chen Yuchuan reached out and grabbed Shen He's hand.

She didn't break free from the river, but kept looking out the window, not at him.

“Baby,” Chen Yuchuan’s voice lowered, “I was wrong.”

Chen He remained silent.

Chen Yuchuan leaned closer, wanting to kiss him.

Shenhe shoved him away, almost laughing in anger.

"I was really wrong." Chen Yuchuan held his hand tightly. "I shouldn't have hit him."

Shen He finally looked at him: "If this gets posted online, do you know how people on the forums will insult you? Do you still want to play professionally with me?"

Chen Yuchuan was taken aback for a moment, then a smile appeared on his lips: "So you were concerned about me."

"Chen Yuchuan." Shen He's voice turned serious. "Your actions will affect me in the future. I don't want people to discuss things outside of the competition on the forum. I don't want to regret what I said yesterday."

Chen Yuchuan's smile vanished instantly. He looked at Chen He with anxious eyes: "I was wrong, really. Violence won't solve anything. I was too extreme. You know, nobody cares about me, nobody has taught me how to handle things properly, so I can never control my emotions."

Shen He looked at him and almost laughed. Shen He could tell that Chen Yuchuan didn't really think there was anything wrong with what he did, but he was genuinely afraid of affecting him.

"I know I shouldn't have acted." Chen Yuchuan held Shen He's hand tightly. "I will change in the future, I will definitely change."

Shen He was silent for a few seconds: "I didn't say anything about your personality, and you don't need to change. You used to be just like this, always throwing tantrums or hitting people. Did I ever say anything to you?"

Chen Yuchuan looked up at him.

“But you are a public figure now, with so many people watching you. Your behavior will attract malice from people.” Shen He’s voice was calm, but his eyes were somewhat distant. “Many times, you have done nothing wrong, but you have just shown your true nature, and you will be hated and hurt by people.”

Chen Yuchuan stared at him, lost in thought. Shen He mentioned humanity again, and humanity's malice.

After a few seconds, he nodded and reached out to hug Shen He: "I understand, this time it really was my fault. I've already sent people to clean up the mess, don't be angry."

After the car had driven for a while, Shen He suddenly spoke up: "Zhou Wen said you're not good enough for me."

Chen Yuchuan's hand froze.

"You even said you would hurt me." Shen He turned to look at him. "Would you?"

Chen Yuchuan looked at him, his Adam's apple bobbing a few times, and finally he said in a low voice, "...I can't."

Why is it so difficult?

"..." Chen Yuchuan suddenly grabbed his hand tightly, "I don't know. I've never been in a relationship before, I don't know what to do."

"If I make you unhappy, just tell me."

Shen He stared at him for a few seconds, a slight smile curving his lips.

“Okay,” he replied.