Chapter 40 "I want to change, will you teach me?"

She didn't want to turn back.

If I turn back, all the comfort I've accumulated over these past few days will vanish.

The thought of facing that indifferent face made her feel nauseous, as if she were carrying thorns.

"Ling Niang".

Yin Yuan paused for a moment.

"It really is you."

His gaze fell on the bracelet on her wrist: "It seems you've been doing well these days."

Leng Cuizhu finally turned around.

Holding her pipa, she lowered her eyes and said, "Please leave, sir. I have other things to do."

"I also have things to do."

Not only did he not leave, but he also found a quiet corner in the audience to sit down.

Yin Yuan came here alone today, without any subordinates or attendants.

He was dressed quite modestly, except for the jade ring on his finger.

When the waiter saw that a guest had sat down, he hurried over to serve tea and asked Yin Yuan if he would like to order any dishes or a performance.

Indeed, Leng Cuizhu had no control over whether the guests came or went.

She bit her lip and went backstage, hoping to avoid seeing it and getting annoyed.

After a while, the musicians arrived, and the stands outside were full. The foreman wrote down the pieces to be performed that day on a piece of paper, which the musicians checked in turn.

"Why are they all ordering love stories? Tsk," the old musician spat. "I was hoping to play my Wu Song fighting the innkeeper, but I can't. What a damn mess."

"Oh, right," the supervisor said, "I also ordered an extra pipa solo, to play 'The Scenery of Qinhuai.' Xiao Cui, you can play, right? You only need to play, you don't need to sing."

"Ah," she answered reluctantly, "I can play..."

It seems Yin Yuan has truly gone mad. He does nothing but pester her every day, no longer befitting a public official who cares about the country and its people.

Her pipa solo was arranged at the very end of all the plays.

After the play ended, the musicians and actors on stage and backstage were all busy going out to eat, but she remained seated, bitterly playing the Qinhuai River scenery from her memory.

I don't know if anyone is listening.

Midway through, the waiter handed her a basket and asked her to grab the reward money. She couldn't possibly grab it all, so the waiter had everyone grab some, leaving some for her in the basket, which he then placed at her feet.

Her music no longer possessed the melodious and graceful quality of the past, nor did it add any sorrow or charm.

She played very fast, without any emotion, only wanting to finish as quickly as possible.

However, no matter how anxiously she played, the members of the opera troupe left one after another, leaving her alone in the huge backstage area.

The same should be true of the spectators in front; not a single person applauded or praised her.

I wonder who this piece is for.

She didn't know either.

She acted as if Yin Yuan didn't exist.

As she finished playing the music, she gathered her breath and stood up, but her toes accidentally knocked over a basket on the ground, spilling all the silver and copper coins inside with a clattering sound.

The people in front must have heard that sound too.

She put down her pipa, lifted the curtain, and walked towards the stage, gazing at the men in the audience.

All the onlookers left, leaving only Yin Yuan alone.

He sat in that dim corner, staring intently at her. His casual clothes underneath were dull and lackluster, while he wore a cloak embroidered with silver bamboo patterns on top.

He was not fully recovered; he was sickly and listless.

It's more like he was barely clinging to life, leaning on a cane, coming here to confront her.

She stood on the stage, not moving forward. At her feet were colorful paper flowers, densely covering the ground, not much different from the white paper money piled up beside graves.

"Aren't you afraid I'll die?"

His question was also appropriate.

Leng Cuizhu thought to herself that these words sounded familiar, but she couldn't remember where she had heard them before.

"Of course I'm afraid." She lowered her eyes and smiled faintly. "What will I do without my husband..."

Yin Yuan frowned.

"Lingniang, is it because I bit you that time?"

If it weren't for this, Yin Yuan couldn't think of anything else.

"sorry."

Leng Cuizhu couldn't understand what Yin Yuan was trying to do.

He came all this way just to apologize to her? He's getting weirder and weirder.

If apologies were effective, their relationship wouldn't have deteriorated to this point of irreconcilable conflict.

Yin Yuan always thought she was being unreasonable, that she was definitely not like that, but she didn't know what she was trying to justify.

She simply didn't want to see him or have any conversations with him, just like Yin Yuan used to avoid any heartfelt words.

She always seemed to have a sense of lack, and that was indeed the case.

In the past, she could not obtain much love or desire, and could only look up and beg for Yin Yuan's charity.

She could only beg for an empty shell.

She pursed her lips, tossed a stray strand of hair over one shoulder, and said wearily, "Oh..."

He leaned on his cane and walked step by step toward her, skirting the densely packed tables and chairs.

Seeing that he was walking with difficulty, Leng Cuizhu inexplicably walked forward in his direction, down the steps, and waited for him.

When Yin Yuan walked up to her, she seemed to wake from a dream and took a few steps back, overwhelmed with sorrow.

She wanted to walk away, to escape, but Yin Yuan murmured, took off the jade ring from his finger, and put it on her hand.

This ring is made of the finest jade. Yin Yuan has worn it for over ten years; he was wearing it when she first met him.

She started plotting to get close to Yin Yuan because of this valuable ring.

At that time, she only thought about how much gold and silver this man was willing to spend on her, without thinking about how much suffering she would have to endure.

Today, her passion has long since cooled.

And now, the ring is in her hands.

She then realized that what she had been coveting was not suitable for her.

The jade ring was a bit too big for her finger, barely fitting on her finger bone.

“I don’t care if you love someone else or have many lovers,” he paused, his face full of sorrow and embarrassment, “as long as you are still willing to be with me.”

"I was too harsh on you before." He ran his fingertips over the jade ring on her finger, forcing a smile. "I want to change. Will you teach me?"

No matter how many thorns she had, he would still embrace her.

Only when the thorns pierced his body and the pain became clearer could he truly feel her—he was holding her. The one embracing her was him.

It could only be him.

No matter how alluring other men may be, only he can accept her sharp edge.

Leng Cuizhu could hardly believe what she had just heard.

She clenched her fists tightly, her curled knuckles stretching the skin until it turned white and purple.

He actually said that.

How could he say that?

He was originally a lifeless, dull, and listless man, but he embraced her.

Ever since she realized the truth and withdrew from the situation, his feelings and circumstances changed accordingly.

She resented him, hated him, but which version of him did she resent?

Was it from the past? Or now? She didn't even know herself.

If he changes, should she still hate him...? What if Yin Yuan is really willing to change and become the kind of person she likes?

What if she could really have a harmonious and warm family?

If Yin Yuan can be a good father... should she really give him a chance?

While hesitating, Yin Yuan had already taken off the hairpin from his head and plunged it into his wrist.

Fresh blood gushed out, and soon his hands were covered in it.

As it was pulled out, blood splattered on her cheek, and a few drops seeped into her eyes.

"what you do!"

“If you’re going to leave me,” the man said listlessly, with a sigh, “I have no reason to live anymore.”

"Leng Zhen feels the same way... She only hopes that we can meet in the underworld."

He stared at the bleeding wound on his wrist: "I will take him and wait for you."

"Lingniang, I know he's back. I'll go find him in a bit."

"And Yi Yinwan."

Leng Cuizhu suddenly looked up.

She cannot implicate Madam Yin.

She couldn't let Yin Yuan die with Leng Zhen.

She understood that although she seemed to have a choice, she actually had nowhere to retreat and could only forgive Yin Yuan.

She can't keep avoiding it; she won't benefit from dragging things out with Yin Yuan like this.

We must at least find a way to get the indenture back.

"Okay, I promise you."

She smiled and put her arm around the man's shoulder: "If you want to change, I'll teach you properly."

"From now on, all past grudges will be forgotten."

Yin Yuan gave a bitter smile.

“Alright,” he said, stroking her back with his bleeding hand, wiping the blood from the hairpin, and placing it in her hair. “Then come back with me.”

The following day, the opera troupe was shut down by the authorities for allegedly engaging in lewd activities.

It was a charge that was fabricated against them.

After the foreman paid her the remaining wages with a mournful face, he jumped into the well with his newborn twins in his arms.

When Leng Cuizhu learned of this news, she felt very uneasy.

Ironically, it was Yin Yuan who told her this himself.

"Ah...what a pity..." Knowing what Yin Yuan wanted to see, she frowned and pretended to be afraid, stammering, "It's all my fault. If it weren't for me, those musicians wouldn't have lost their jobs and wouldn't have gone hungry, and the foreman wouldn't have drowned in the well..."

She wasn't afraid; she was filled with grief and indignation.

Yin Yuan's actions were definitely intended to make her feel guilty.

It is clear that the fault lies entirely with Yin Yuan.

He disregarded etiquette and law, and treated human life like dirt.

He shouldn't have threatened her with the lives of others, nor should he have risked the lives of innocent people for their love and hate with him.

Absolutely despicable and shameless...

People like him will get their comeuppance sooner or later.

"Um."

Yin Yuan sat on the daybed, playing with a fan in one hand, seemingly quite satisfied with her reaction.

She wiped away non-existent tears from the corners of her eyes, slowly walked to the man, and then collapsed between his legs.

"My lord..." She frowned, lightly tapping the man's shoulder with her handkerchief, and said reproachfully, "I don't want to stay here anymore, I want to go out for a stroll."

For the past few days, Yin Yuan has kept her locked in this room and wouldn't let her out.

Even the windows were completely sealed off, preventing any light from getting in.

She wasn't even sure if the place she was in was the Yin residence.

That day, she got into the carriage with Yin Yuan and was coaxed to sleep. When she woke up, she was lying on the bed in the room.

As time went on, she lost track of day and night, and was constantly in a daze, unable to get enough sleep.

The only way to tell is by whether Yin Yuan was wearing an official robe or a nightgown when he came to see her.

Seeing that Yin Yuan did not speak, she bent her knees again, snuggled into the man's arms, and whispered, "My lord, will you stay with me? Let's go out for a walk. It's so stuffy here, and I feel like there's a musty smell."

"Didn't you want me to teach you?" she said with a smile. "Once you learn what's in bed, you don't want to learn anything else?"

"Didn't I say I was going to study hard..."

Yin Yuan lowered his eyes: "Ling Niang, it was my fault."

“I just… haven’t had a moment like this in so long.” He sighed, “and I’m afraid that this tenderness will vanish in the blink of an eye.”

“So,” she said, picking up a strand of white hair from the man’s shoulder with her fingertips, smiling sweetly, “you must be even more obedient and listen to me.”

"Mmm," he replied, pulling her even closer.

The place she was in was indeed not the Yin residence.

The courtyard was much smaller than the Yin residence, somewhat similar to her home, but more secluded, surrounded by towering corner towers.

It should be in the suburbs.

Yin Yuan led her on a leisurely stroll in the courtyard, his steps growing heavier with each step.

Leng Cuizhu didn't notice his unusual behavior and was busy glancing around at the surrounding scenery, while Ren Yinyuan pulled her hand and walked towards the pond.

After a moment, he asked, "...Lingniang, where did you get the bracelet on your wrist?"

The man glanced at the pond: "Things of unknown origin, just throw them away."

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Author's note: The unlucky son's biological father is coming.

I originally wanted to write about a normal person, but that wouldn't feel like a father-son relationship, so I didn't. And this person is just cannon fodder; he'll die, he won't live forever.

——

Red envelopes will be dropped in this chapter!