Chapter 56 "Leave Yin Yuan and marry me..."

Yin Yuan is such an ungrateful person.

When she tried to get close to him, he not only ignored her but also looked down on her. After she distanced herself from him, he began to reminisce about the past.

He was like a lump of pus stuck in Leng Cuizhu's throat; swallowing it brought a dull nausea, while spitting it out brought an open disgust.

Because of him, Leng Cuizhu experienced love for the first time and believed that she was happy.

It was also because of him that an endless stream of resentment overwhelmed her.

“I also wish I could not come to see you,” she said, her voice trembling. “Since you can’t stand me and hate me, why can’t you distance yourself from me just as I tried to distance myself from you? Why do you have to entangle yourself with me? Don’t you blame me for cheating on you, for ignoring you and hurting you time and time again?”

"And you're doing it willingly..."

Just like she used to be.

He followed in her footsteps.

Yin Yuan was stunned.

What should he say?

He had so much to say to her, but when he opened his lips, he couldn't utter a single word.

Selfish people cannot be completely open and honest.

Furthermore, he believed he had been tolerant and magnanimous enough.

No one else could possibly be as accommodating to her as he was. He tolerated her broken affections and her heartless, dog-like behavior.

Lingniang blamed him for keeping her confined in a cage and feeding her like a canary for more than ten years, but he didn't think it was wrong and didn't regret it.

He spared her from many setbacks and injuries, allowing her to remain charming and beautiful even in her thirties, retaining the innocent sentiments of a young girl.

Wouldn't it be better to freeze time in the prime of life?

To love someone and wish them to live, to hate someone and wish them to die—to desire both their life and their death—this is delusion.

He loved her struggles, which were like scratching an itch through a boot—minor squabbles that weren't enough to frighten him—yet he hated the resolute determination she displayed at certain moments, the resolve to leave him that made him incredibly uneasy.

So he repeatedly lowered his stance and lowered his standards, just so that her resoluteness would be fleeting.

"Lingniang, I can't leave you."

Yin Yuan's tone softened a bit: "But if you really don't want to see me now, I'll have them send you back. It was Yi Yinwan's idea to send you here; I knew nothing about it."

"I didn't stab you, you shouldn't blame me."

"The house...it really seems to be haunted." Recalling last night, she was still frightened, pointing to the light brown strangulation marks on her neck, "Didn't you see the strangulation marks on my neck?"

“It wasn’t from that time you pinched me. That happened more than ten days ago, and the marks have faded long ago. It’s a fresh injury from last night.”

"……Um."

"I'm sorry, I acted impulsively last night."

He glanced at him sideways: "Can you stay?"

Leng Cuizhu countered, "What would I do if I stayed?"

"Just like you said, I'm not a doctor, and I can't cure your illness."

"Can I come to see you today?"

Where are you going to look?

The man sighed, "Let's go back to our home."

Leng Cuizhu remained silent and sullen.

Afterwards, Yi Yinwan personally escorted her back.

Yi Yinwan wanted to invite her to lunch, but she was too distraught to stay, so she declined.

“Tell me,” Yi Yinwan said with a smile as she sat in the main seat of the carriage and asked Leng Cuizhu, “how come he’s still alive after being injured so many times and losing so much blood?”

Leng Cuizhu had no interest in this matter and casually replied, "Perhaps my husband is in better health..."

"Healthy? Wow, you really can't tell unless you look closely."

"How can he be so hard to kill... I injured my arm when my musket misfired while I was practicing shooting, and it still aches a little after more than ten years. He's been stabbed so many times, how come he's still like nothing happened? Is it because these kinds of obvious injuries don't work?"

Yi Yinwan seemed to be deep in thought.

"A musket? Madam can use that too..." She thought to herself that Madam Yin was truly a remarkable person. "So impressive, really impressive."

Yi Yinwan glanced at her: "I know, you don't need to tell me."

"After all, there are too many scoundrels around, and they're thick-skinned. Simply punching and kicking them won't punish them. So I can only use weapons to scare them from time to time."

"Is that so... Madam, I also want to learn. Could you teach me? I'm willing to endure any hardship."

"Can't."

"You have no power or influence, so why should I teach you? Just because you're willing to endure any hardship? Then you should drink more bitter melon soup."

Leng Cuizhu blinked and said in a mournful voice, "I was being presumptuous..."

Yi Yinwan added, "Besides, how can I trust you to teach with your physique? What if you break a bone? Why don't you become like your son, a reincarnation of a starving ghost who eats everything? Look how healthy he is. He can be beaten every day and still not die. Just like his father, they are both cockroaches that not only can't be killed but also crawl around everywhere."

"You need to gain some weight so you have the energy to study," Yi Yinwan said casually. "You always seem so gloomy; you must be sick from being too thin."

"So that's how it is..."

Leng Cuizhu was quite envious of Yi Yinwan.

If only she could also bask in the sunlight without being bound by anyone.

"Madam, I envy you so much; you are so cheerful."

"Can you stop being so sentimental? Stop being so emotional, okay? It's so annoying how you're always envious. Envy won't help, I'm not giving you any money."

As usual, Yi Yinwan left her at the doorstep. She had just gotten off the carriage and was about to enter the house when she caught sight of the man huddled at the end of the alley and paused for a moment.

Then she softly called out, "Si Qing?"

Si Qing, who was squatting down to feed the chickens, had obviously heard her call, stopped what she was doing, and her eyes darkened.

Without raising his head or getting up, he gently stroked the flock of chickens pecking at the ground with a smile.

Hearing her voice, the rooster poked its head out from among the chickens: "Cluck cluck cluck, host!"

He tucked his wings between his legs, pushed aside the other roosters, hens, and chicks, and ran toward her, plunging straight under her skirt.

Leng Cuizhu lifted her skirt, shook out the rooster, and walked over to Si Qing, saying, "You really moved in?"

Si Qing looked up and smiled at her: "I thought this was obvious."

He was dressed much more simply than usual, wearing a stone-green robe covered by a thin, cicada-wing-like garment. When he squatted down, the hem of the garment reached the ground and became somewhat dirty.

"Why don't we go to my yard for a chat? I had them make some lotus seed tea."

Leng Cuizhu absolutely dared not go.

"No, no need... We can just talk here, it's fine."

The man shook off the millet in his hand, stood up, and leaned against the wall.

"So, what would you like to talk about, sister? Whatever it is, I'm all in."

"Let's chat..." She felt a little intimidated by the stare.

I have a feeling that Si Qing's attitude today is strange, but I can't quite put my finger on what's strange about it.

His dark, gleaming eyes, along with the scattered moles on his face, sent chills down her spine. He had a handsome face, and his smile was gentle, yet he instilled fear in her.

"Shall we talk about the land title?"

She cut to the chase: "How can you sell the land to us?"

Si Qing looked away from her for a moment, then turned back and asked, "Sell it to you?"

"How can we sell it to you? You've been the only one mediating all along. What role have they played in this deal?"

"Therefore, I will only sell the land to you, and I want to make sure that the recipient on the transfer document is only your name."

Only her name is allowed to be written?

That should work... She can just transfer it to Li Yanshang's name later, it's not difficult.

I don't understand the point of Si Qing's request. Is it perhaps an attempt to trap her?

“Okay,” she nodded, “but you must know that I don’t have the money to buy your land, right?”

"certainly."

Si Qing smiled and said, "I don't want money, I just need you to promise me a few things."

"...Alright, go ahead and say it."

“The first thing.” He lifted his sleeve, revealing the chipmunk on his arm.

The little mouse clutched a blade of grass in its hand, sniffing it with its black nose. It stood on the man's arm, the skin beneath its feet bearing the man's lingering wounds.

"Little Candle is quite old as a chipmunk, and given its poor appetite these past few days, I'm worried... it won't live past next year. So, I was wondering if you could join me in celebrating our child's birthday?"

"Do mice have birthdays...?"

"It's not a mouse, it's a squirrel."

Si Qing murmured, "Sister, don't you think you look alike? You both have big eyes, and you even look alike when you eat... I rely on them to keep me company when you're not around."

"My little candle has been with me for over ten years. I can't bear to part with it. Sister, can you understand my feelings?"

Leng Cuizhu: "I understand, I understand."

Didn't Si Qing say that this little chipmunk was their child? But what she heard... did he mistake the squirrel for her? Or did he mistake her for a squirrel?

"The second thing is that you have to stay with me these next few days. We agreed before that you would stay with me for at least half a month."

"Perfect timing, I've moved next door to you too, so it won't be too difficult for us to see each other in the future."

"Oh, I see..." She bit her lip in embarrassment. "Si Qing, I got my period this morning. If you mean 'accompanying' in that sense... I'm afraid I can't."

"If you really can't control yourself, I can help you, but I'm not very good at it anymore..."

Si Qing sighed, "Sister, I just want you to stay by my side, that's all."

"I was heartbroken when you left with Lord Yin that day. I even considered having someone kidnap you and bring you back, but thankfully I managed to stop myself. So, as compensation, you have to stay with me for a few more days, three more days, okay?"

"We can go shopping together, go boating together, and do all the things we've never done before, just like... a couple. Just be my couple for a few days, and then we won't be anymore, okay?"

It was not difficult for her.

Leng Cuizhu nodded.

“The third thing,” Si Qing paused for a moment, “I just went to visit your child with that man.”

“I want to be your son’s godfather, and I want to be on equal footing with his biological father.”

“Of course, I will give you and the child a sum of money every month from now on, to fulfill my responsibility as a godfather.”

“Well,” she hesitated, “I don’t care about that, but will Leng Zhen agree? Will her father agree?”

She couldn't be sure how Leng Zhen would react to this, but she was certain that Si Qing hadn't informed Yin Yuan.

Si Qing: "I agree."

"Lord Yin did not object."

"...Huh? What does 'no objection' mean?"

Could it be that Yin Yuan stayed behind alone that day just to discuss this matter with Si Qing? How could he so easily hand over his child to someone else? He's such a scoundrel.

“I told him that if he agreed to let me be his godfather, and after I got married next month, I would never seduce you again and tempt you to fool around with me.”

She didn't understand Si Qing, but she still nodded in agreement.

“The fourth thing,” the man smiled brightly, “is for you to leave Yin Yuan and marry me.”

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The author says: "To love someone is to wish them life; to hate someone is to wish them death. To wish them both life and death is delusion." —The Analects