But I just can't control my thoughts, I just want to rely on others. Maybe it's because I have never taken responsibility, so I am afraid of responsibility.

The woman came into the house holding her child, and laughed at me wantonly, saying that I was a poor thing. Her man and her job all belonged to her, and even the house would be hers in the future.

Why is the reluctance growing wildly in my heart?

On the one hand, there is hatred, hatred for him cheating.

On the one hand, she longs for him to turn over a new leaf, return to the family, and take on the responsibilities of the family, while she can still be that happy little woman, without having to worry about anything or think about anything, and just immerse herself in her own happy world every day.

Tormented by these two thoughts, I gradually began to lose strength. My belly grew bigger and bigger, and I became thinner and thinner, looking like a lost ghost.

At this time, my mother's condition had worsened and she was even lying in the hospital, unable to get out of bed.

My father looked much more haggard because of my mother's illness and the mess on his side.

But she had no intention of caring about them, she just wanted to save her family.

As long as I am sensible and obedient, will Brother Lin abandon that woman and return to this family?

Sometimes I tell myself to be obedient and sensible, but I can't let go of the pride in my bones.

Every time we quarrel, I feel very painful.

That day I beat my stomach like crazy, "Why are you so late? Why are you so late? If you had come earlier, maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me."

I think the responsibility for his infidelity shouldn't be mine. Why is that? It must be because he doesn't have children, so he blames this child. If this child had come earlier, he definitely wouldn't have cheated. It must be because those rumors hurt his heart so much that he urgently needs to prove that he can have children.

Unfortunately, my belly was not cooperative and the baby came too late.

After transferring the responsibility to the baby in my belly, I seemed to feel much more comfortable.

My spirit is recovering bit by bit, but how can they watch me recover better and better? They are all looking forward to my death.

They would come to the house with their children every now and then, and even sit in the house.

I am becoming more and more crazy and perverted. Every time I encounter something like this, I will beat my stomach madly.

I was in a very bad mental state every day. Recently, I finally went out, but found that the door of my neighbor's house was wide open and a woman was lying on the ground groaning in pain.

She knew this man, having been his neighbor for two years, and she hadn't spoken much to him. She had been pregnant a while before her, and the floor was covered in blood.

I quickly ran upstairs and downstairs, knocked on doors and called for help. Soon he was taken to the hospital. I was pregnant and a little scared because I was about to give birth.

After much thought, I decided to move into the hospital as my due date was still half a month away.

At this time, my mother's condition became more serious and she was given a critical illness notice. She might not be able to be saved.

It was only then that I realized what I had missed. My mother had been in the hospital for half a year, and I had never visited her once.

Dragging his haggard body, he went to his mother's ward.

They weren't very welcoming to me, and didn't even look friendly towards me. I suddenly broke down. They were my parents, why did they treat me like this? I was having a hard time, too. I was anxious and in pain.

I squatted down with my head in my hands, screaming madly and beating my stomach frantically.

I gave birth prematurely and the baby died at birth.

His whole body was covered in bruises, which was extremely scary.

I threw it on the bench out of fear. There was another lively little life on the bench. I took it home and treated it as my own child.

But I also know clearly that she is not, she is just a substitute.

I lived a tangled and painful life like this. My mother eventually died of the disease, my father's health was getting worse day by day, and my life at home was extremely difficult.

They have already moved into this house blatantly, and I feel more like an outsider in this home.

Some people advised me to call the police and have these two adulterers arrested, but I didn't want to do that. I just wanted to win him back and let him support the family.

Some said I was crazy, some said I was sick, and I didn’t know whether I was sick or not.

But I can’t control many of my behaviors. I just want to go crazy and roar.

Finally, I made it to the time when my little one turned three, but I couldn't bear it any longer. I was leaving this world. I knew this child was going to have a very difficult life, but there was nothing I could do. After three years of living in a state of being neither human nor ghost, my body was no longer able to function. I was leaving.