Learn to be selfish

Inside the Yilan Hall of the Eastern Palace, the flickering candlelight illuminated the silent profile of the young man. Si Pei glanced at the eunuch standing guard nearby and asked, "Has Madam Jing not returned to the palace yet?"

"Your Highness, the guards sent a letter saying they will soon be returning to the Outer Palace."

Eunuch Ming, who was originally serving Yan Mo on the other side, felt sorry for the Crown Prince's absent-minded appearance and said, "Madam Jing is not the first time to leave the palace. Your Highness does not need to worry too much."

The young man frowned upon hearing this and shook his head slightly, saying, "In the past, I wouldn't have worried, but times are different now. The situation in the city is far from peaceful as it appears."

As Si Pei spoke, his hand subconsciously tightened around the scroll, his fingertips turning white from the pressure. He stood up, walked to the window, and sighed, "The bookstore owner's death was meant for me."

Eunuch Ming followed behind him: "There has indeed been a lot of commotion in the city recently. Everyone says that Yue Ningning was forced to death by the prince..."

"Did I force her to death?" Si Pei sneered. "I haven't even had her arrested and interrogated yet, and you've already called it 'forced'. I didn't use any tricks. I just sent someone to investigate her bookstore, and this is your reaction. Isn't this a case of trying to cover up one's own faults?"

"But Your Highness, we are sure that we haven't found the manuscript that Madam Jing mentioned..."

This is exactly why the people are now protesting and crying out for justice. If they can't find any evidence, then they are in the wrong.

"Eunuch Ming, how could you have been led astray? I said I would only investigate that book. Did I publicize the book's contents as disrespectful and treasonous?"

"Not really."

Eunuch Ming lowered his head, and Si Pei only gave the order to find the first draft of "Hidden Dragon" and said nothing else. However, there are many different opinions among the people now, and all kinds of rumors have been spread.

"I just wanted to give Yaoyao a book, why are people rushing to give me something else?"

Si Pei murmured helplessly to himself, reaching out and twisting off a leaf of the emerald orchid.

What kind of gift should I give in return?

"Your Highness, Madam Jing is back."

The young eunuch came over with a happy face to report. Si Pei threw down the leaves and went out to meet someone. At the last moment, he turned back and told Eunuch Ming: "If you understand what I said just now, you can give the order."

"Yes, Your Highness."

Eunuch Ming clearly understood his intention; it was simply to extricate the Eastern Palace from this matter. This wasn't the first time Si Pei had asked him to do something like this, and Eunuch Ming retreated to make the arrangements with ease.

"Little pear."

Jing Yao walked in dragging his tired body. He had been shopping in the clothing store with Jiang Min and Jiang Jing for a long time today and was almost exhausted.

Si Pei smiled, his eyes full of doting as he stepped forward and put his arms around the girl, "Yaoyao."

"Um."

Jing Yao leaned on his chest naturally and responded softly.

"Are you hungry? I'll ask the kitchen to make something to eat."

"All is fine." Jing Yao let go of the young man's arms and lay down on the small couch beside him.

Si Pei ordered his servants to prepare, but his eyes followed the girl's movements all the time: "Did you have fun today?"

When Jing Yao mentioned what happened today, he felt mixed emotions: "I should be happy, but it seems... I don't feel happy."

The girl's eyebrows were slightly frowned, her watery eyes were filled with confusion, and she glanced to the side as if to hide something.

"What's irritating you?"

Si Pei was keenly aware of her emotions: "Is it Yue Ningning?"

"You know everything." The girl said angrily and turned her head away, not looking at Si Pei's face.

Jing Yao certainly knew that the secret guards around him would definitely report back to Si Pei about his visit to Yue Ningning's funeral home to pay his respects, but at this moment he still wanted to take advantage of the situation to get angry for no reason.

This was exactly what Si Pei had been worried about. He apologized and sat down next to Jing Yao, "This is all my fault. Yaoyao, tell me, what exactly happened?"

"You know Si Jue also went to pay his respects." Jing Yao glanced at Si Pei, met his gaze to confirm that he knew about it, and continued to ask, "Do you know what his relationship with Yue Ningning is?"

Si Pei blinked: "What's the relationship?"

"Don't pretend, just tell me if you know."

Si Pei felt the girl poke his sensitive side, and couldn't help laughing: "I really didn't know originally. After all, the spies said they had no connection. But since you asked, there must be some connection."

"Then don't you think it's strange that Si Jue went to pay his respects even though they had no connection."

Jing Yao narrowed his eyes slightly. Why is Si Pei not as smart as before?

"It's not just the possibility you think. Si Jue might be putting on a show just to build momentum and put pressure on me. Whether it's Yue Ningning, Zhang Ningning, or Xu Ningning who died, he can find an excuse to pay his respects." Si Pei leaned against the edge of the couch as he spoke. "This is political maneuvering."

"What are you talking about?" Jing Yao slapped away his hand that was trying to secretly hold her, feeling angry in his heart - well, Si Pei was still very smart.

What he said made sense. Jing Yao dared to confirm the connection between Si Jue and Yue Ningning because she had the memories of her previous life. Otherwise, based on the existing evidence, what she said was non-existent and unfounded.

However, after listening to Si Pei's analysis, she seemed to feel that Yue Ningning was even more miserable.

"She was used so thoroughly that even her death was used as a pawn."

"Are you unhappy because you sympathize with Yue Ningning?"

Si Pei gently kneaded her right hand that was covering her abdomen and asked in a gentle tone.

"Not entirely." Jing Yao was surprised that he was so thoughtful, but he subconsciously denied it: "I don't sympathize with her. She should have thought that she would end up like this one day after all her efforts for Si Jue. I... I can only pity her."

Si Pei lowered his eyes to look at her, a smile lingering in his phoenix eyes: "So that's how it is, Yaoyao is very gentle."

Jing Yao's heart suddenly skipped a beat. Before he could react, his hand had already twisted his face to the other side: "Don't look at me like that."

Si Pei didn't get angry, instead he let out a few low laughs from his throat: "Why don't you look?"

Jing Yao pinched him in anger. There was something wrong with this Si Pei. He was not so charming in his previous life. Why did he always do such seductive tricks in this life?

"I like looking at handsome men." Jing Yao chuckled, "I'm a little tired of you."

Before Jing Yao finished laughing, the young man broke free from her hand. Although he still had a smile on his face, his eyes were filled with dark emotions: "No."

He suddenly approached, and Jing Yao swallowed nervously, but he still couldn't lose the momentum: "What are you not allowed to do here?"

Si Pei's cold eyes suddenly softened, and he leaned his head against Jing Yao's neck: "Don't look at others."

"ah?"

Jing Yao was stunned.

A furry head was resting in the crook of his neck, and the young man's warm breath was still tickling behind his ears. Jing Yao's mind went blank.

This Si Pei is indeed wrong.

But, it doesn’t feel bad?

Jing Yao reached out and rubbed Si Pei's head: "It depends on your performance."

Upon hearing this, Si Pei silently tightened his arms around the girl's waist and smiled slyly in a corner where Jing Yao couldn't see.

Jing Yao looked at the well-behaved Si Pei in his arms, his heart filled with emotion, and he stopped pretending: "Actually, I do feel a little sympathetic towards Yue Ningning. I don't know if I shouldn't sympathize with someone who originally wanted to harm me, but seeing her being used by Si Jue, it's hard not to feel sorry for her."

Jing Yao spoke calmly. In the past, she rarely, if ever, explained her inner thoughts to Si Pei because she felt it was unnecessary.

The relationship between them in the past was not enough for her to let down her guard and open up to Si Pei.

At this moment, Jing Yao felt a long-lost sense of peace. She knew that no matter what she said, the person next to her would listen and believe it.

Maybe I can tell him about that...

Jing Yao was silently thinking with his eyes downcast. Suddenly, the hand that was twisting the corner of his clothes was wrapped by the warm big hand of the man beside him: "If you want to tell me something, just tell me. It doesn't matter if you don't tell me. I'm always here."

Si Pei could see her hesitation, but he also saw Jing Yao's maturity, which was different from the past. He knew that Yao Yao had really grown up and could weigh the pros and cons and make her own choices.

"Xiao Li..."

Jing Yao hesitated to speak. She didn't know where to start, nor did she know whether she should bring up the past.

"It's okay." Si Pei smiled, "Didn't you say before that you would talk to me slowly about some things? There's no need to rush."

Jing Yao held the man's face and suddenly called him seriously:

"Si Pei."

"Um?"

"……Thank you."

Jing Yao took a deep breath, closed his eyes and kissed him.

Warm, soft, dry, just the touch of two lips gently touching, it was a kiss so pure that there was no distraction at all.

She chose not to continue, and neither did he.

When they separated, the girl burst out laughing, and Si Pei laughed along with her.

There had been countless deeper and more passionate kisses between them, but this light kiss symbolized the closeness of their hearts.

"You know, I said I couldn't understand Yue Ningning's devotion to Si Jue, and Zhu Xin and the others all said that's why I don't understand you either. I thought she was wrong at first, but when I thought about it carefully, I found that she was right."

Si Pei listened and smiled without saying anything.

"I also said that this kind of one-sided effort is all wishful thinking, and you can't blame others." Jing Yao said while observing Si Pei's expression, "Don't you think I'm cold-blooded for thinking this way?"

"How could that be?" Si Pei shook his head. "You are right."

Normal people can make decisions and take responsibility for their own actions. Once they have made a decision, it is a decision that cannot be evaded. Whether the result is good or bad, they should bear the consequences themselves.

Si Pei told himself this from the beginning.

"But why..."

Jing Yao spoke faster than her brain, and sure enough, she still couldn't understand.

She has never devoted herself wholeheartedly to anyone.

"Because I like you."

They had already returned to the position where Jing Yao leaned on his arms. He lowered his head slightly to her ear and said softly, "When a person likes another person, he will want to treat her well. There is no reason."

"I'm so bad and cold-blooded, and you like me too?"

Jing Yao raised his eyes.

"If you like someone, do you have to see how kind she is?" Si Pei shrugged. "Or do you have to see if she's decent, excellent, virtuous, and gentle enough?"

"Those things aren't meant to describe someone you love. You don't need them to judge whether someone is worthy of love." Si Pei poked her cheek: "Besides, in my heart, Yaoyao is the best."

"Then I don't like you."

Si Pei was silent for a moment. Jing Yao wanted to take back what he had blurted out, but Si Pei just shook his head: "It doesn't matter."

He had already proved with his actions that he really didn't care about anything.

"However, Yaoyao can pity Yue Ningning, can you pity me as well?"

Jing Yao thought that his sympathy for Yue Ningning did not mean that he supported her actions, but rather that he was angry at her for not fighting and felt sorry for her misfortune.

She raised her hand and stroked the man's cheek: "I was just thinking that maybe you could be a little more selfish."

Si Pei looked a little surprised, but Jing Yao smiled instead: "Just like me, you are selfish, not caring about other people's lives, and not giving so much to others. Isn't that great?"

"You've given too much to me, and I'll feel bad too." Jing Yao's hand slid down and covered his heart. "People are selfish. Maybe this way you can live a happier life."

Si Pei grabbed the girl's wandering hand and said, "I think I've been very selfish."

From the beginning to the end, his so-called selfish motive was just Jing Yao.

As long as she was around, he was happy.

"You should know that's not what I meant."

Si Pei hugged her: "Then you should also know that I can't do what you said."

Jing Yao smiled helplessly, as if all his persuasion was in vain.

Although I still can't understand Si Pei's thinking, it's quite comfortable to hold him like this.

The kitchen brought the prepared meal over. Jing Yao had had some snacks in the afternoon and was now hungry, so he sat down and ate heartily.

"Oh right, now you know what Si Jue is thinking. What should we do next?"

"Let's just hold off for now and see how long he can make trouble." Si Pei raised his eyes, his hands still peeling shrimps, and handed them over as soon as he finished peeling.

Jing Yao on the opposite side was waiting. Before, Si Pei peeled the meat and put it in a porcelain plate, but now it was much easier to feed it directly to his mouth.

Jing Yao looked unhappy: "Is there no direct method?"

"If you want him to die quickly, that's not impossible."

Si Pei frowned slightly. He also disliked Si Jue.

Jing Yao's eyes lit up: "Really?"

"real."

Si Pei peeled another one and fed it to her. Jing Yao's eyes were filled with joy. If Si Jue was killed quickly, then the biggest threat in her life would be gone.

But wasn't it too hasty to decide Si Jue's life or death based on just one word from her? Was Si Pei so straightforward?

"We're like this..."

She hesitated to speak, and Si Pei continued, "The battle for the throne has always been like this. It's either me or him. There's no good or bad."

Jing Yao suddenly recalled the scene in his previous life where Si Pei was pierced through the heart by Si Jue's sword, and got goose bumps all over his body.

She immediately put on an expectant expression: "So... when do we start?"

Si Pei pondered and threw the shrimp shell to the other side: "Let's pick a lively day so that you can also watch the show."

Jing Yao snorted twice: "Aren't you afraid of problems caused by too many people watching?"

Si Pei smiled: "You need more people to fish in troubled waters, and you can also play a trick of transplanting flowers and trees."

Jing Yao waved his hands and applauded: "Good!"

Then the best day is...

They both said in unison: "Chun Shu Feast."