Chapter 19

A lie created for you.

You will definitely break up with Chi Jiansheng.

I firmly believed this.

Because I've calculated your and his birth dates and times, as well as your astrological charts, horoscopes, and tarot readings, every result tells me that you two are incompatible. Therefore, you and Chi Jiansheng are destined not to go far. People in the industry have also told me this. They say your acting styles are different, and the aura you project is different. They say that most celebrity couples are just casual flings, and secret relationships don't necessarily lead to official marriage. A formal relationship doesn't guarantee marriage.

"Besides, you can get a divorce even if you're married."

You're right. I thought to myself, you can get divorced even if you're married. But it's best not to go that far, don't let it reach the point of marriage, otherwise I don't know if I'll shed tears when I see your wedding. I haven't cried in a long time, even though every tear I shed was for you.

I cried when you first appeared on the big screen, really. You had three minutes and fifty seconds of screen time, including forty seconds of close-up shots. I've said before that your face is perfect for the big screen, and I was right. You're so beautiful. I still have the stills from your first screen appearance. As a newcomer, you were a bit raw, but I know you'll adapt quickly and improve.

You have that ability.

From the moment you told me about your grand ideals, I knew you were capable of anything. You, Li Juntong, forged ahead bravely, overcoming all obstacles. How did I know? Because even as the actor who portrayed you, your imitation, I achieved countless accomplishments. I believed you were even more outstanding. Even if you encountered difficulties or setbacks, they were just minor hurdles, which you naturally overcame with great strides.

I've cried for you twice.

Once, I was watching the movie "Empty Gun," where you played the role of Ren Qing. I sat in the theater, clutching my ticket, and when you appeared on screen, for the first time, I felt you were a stranger. A stranger to me, unfamiliar eyes, messy short hair, red-rimmed glasses, and a vulnerability and neuroticism emanating from your eyes and brows. It was also the first time I truly felt you were an actor, not an old friend. You sat so realistically opposite me, the camera focused on you, you glanced at me, with a look of dejected yet fierce ruthlessness.

I am stunned by you.

I watched you intently, completely absorbed in the plot you were driving. My mind went blank; I was just following you. I didn't even have time to pick up my camera to take a picture of you. I was afraid of missing any subtle expression on Ren Qing's face. I was so engrossed in the role. When you were cornered at the end of the alley by the protagonist, clutching your chest in despair and gasping for breath, tears welled up in my eyes. I was deeply worried about your fate.

Until the very end, as you were led into the police station at gunpoint, a sliver of sunlight fell on your face, the other half shrouded in shadow, only your wild eyes gleaming. You had a breakdown, frantically pulling a plastic bag from your pocket. I saw my own reflection in it, and a sense of resonance washed over me. I swear, I truly swear, any actor who could portray such a performance so vividly before me would move me to tears through empathy; it just so happens that this person is you. Really, Li Juntong, how can you even act so well?

You really make me jealous.

You are so talented and gifted, transforming yourself in just a few years into someone I can only aspire to be. Even though I try my best to emulate you, you've shown me that there is ultimately a difference between mediocrity and genius. I have no complaints about you; I'm jealous because you're too perfect. If you had even the slightest flaw, I wouldn't have reacted so strongly. Your only flaw is that you don't like me.

That's my own problem.

It has nothing to do with you.

That's my flaw.

I shed many tears in the theater that day. The audience next to me were amazed at how immersed I was in the movie. I bought seven or eight tickets and watched the movie from morning until night, until I couldn't stay awake any longer and fell asleep. I was finally woken up by the projectionist and went home in a daze, lying down in bed.

Ah, whenever it involves you, or anything related to you, I'm easily swayed by my emotions. You're not like that. You're always so calm. Even when I saw you on a street corner in the pouring rain, there wasn't the slightest bit of fear or vulnerability on your stern face.

When will I be as strong as you?

I always cry for you; my tears flow for you. You know, when you were nominated, I was so happy for you that I couldn't sleep. That day, I was working overtime until late at night. Looking at the starlit city outside the floor-to-ceiling window, I was thrilled by the honor you were about to receive. My heart was completely focused on you. I hoped you would succeed; I probably hoped even more than you did. Li Juntong, I want luck to come your way.

So, when the disappointing result was announced, and the camera briefly showed your dejected expression, I was completely stunned. You appeared so strong, applauding others, with a faint dimple at the corner of your mouth. Ah, yet I cried for you. I was truly worried for you. At that moment, I thought, if only I had the power to influence the award. I wouldn't even be able to rush to comfort you when you were down. I imagine the person by your side then was Chi Jiansheng, your boyfriend, who had an obligation to do so, while I was just daydreaming.

In my imagination, I comforted you, telling you not to be discouraged, not to be impatient, and that you had many, many more opportunities. And you didn't remain dejected for long; soon you raised your beautiful head and bravely declared that you would win the award—if not this year, then next year, if not the year after, you'd fight for honor your whole life until you finally triumphed. But then I thought, even if I wasn't by your side, you would surely pick yourself up again very quickly.

You don't really need me, that's the truth, unlike me, who always wants you by my side no matter what. I've changed a lot over the years, become unrecognizable, but I haven't changed my liking for you. I consider it a flaw, and it always makes me unhappy.

But it's alright, my unhappiness is better than yours.

So I never bothered you. I knew it wasn't appropriate; some broken mirrors can't be mended, especially since they were never truly mended. I watched you silently from afar, which made me more comfortable. Finally, I understood that you don't make everyone happier the closer they get, and not all love is so sincere and bright. There's also me, this annoying me who may have already been forgotten by you. If I appeared at the wrong time, intruding and approaching without any boundaries, you would definitely be too disgusted to even spare me a glance.

I'd rather not.

No, Li Juntong, let's not meet. Even if I occasionally hear from friends that you've asked about me, I'll just assume it's out of curiosity. I won't mistake it for a sign of attraction again. It's better not to tarnish the image of me in your mind—a boring but still somewhat naive and innocent one. Even if you dislike me after all these years, all I've left you with are memories that will make you laugh, and that's for the best. It's better if we never meet again. I'll stay in the shadows; this is a good place for me, watching your happiness from afar.

I used to think that life would be fine like this forever.

But when I found out you broke up,

Oh, sorry, I can't help it, ugh, but I really can't stop laughing out loud. I even marked that day on the calendar; it was a very auspicious day. I guarantee that on this day next year, the year after, and the year after that, I'll celebrate it.

I bought red wine and beef, and had a happy, harmonious meal. I was very satisfied and even a little timid, getting quite drunk and sitting at my computer desk grinning like an idiot. To reward myself, I watched all your videos, and then went to your fan page and cursed everyone who criticized you because of your variety show, as well as those rivals who bought smear articles about you—I hope they all get away with it. People in the supertopic are saying, "Wow, this big fan is amazing! They're going to go crazy and flood the fan page today. Is today some important day?"

Today is the day you broke up with that bastard Chi Jiansheng.

"I'm so vicious, Li Yuzhong, you're so vicious," I said to myself. I didn't know Chi Jiansheng at all. At most, I punched him once during college to slander him, and that was it. We had no other grudges. But because he was nice to you, I thought he was despicable, and that was my problem too.

Do you know, Li Juntong, since the day you broke up, I've never felt the world was so beautiful. I even feel like I'm a little abnormal. But it's okay, at least when you two were deeply in love, I didn't go to your door. My morals wouldn't allow me to be a homewrecker. But ever since I found out you broke up, I've been counting the days on my fingers every day: How many days has it been since the breakup? Have you moved on yet?

Online, people say you should wait three months after a breakup before considering a new relationship, but I think someone as strong as Li Juntong should be fine in three days. I'm a little anxious, partly because I've heard that Chi Jiansheng is still relentless and doesn't agree to the breakup; he might very well cling to me and pester me relentlessly.

What if you go back to an ex you used to have?

That was the most conflicted night of my life. Should I do something? Although I felt that with your carefree and decisive nature, once we broke up, it was over and there was no way back, I wasn't sure. I always hesitate when it comes to things involving you.

But as I said, although I'm not very brave, my usually accurate sixth sense tells me that now, right now, is the time to go all in with what little I have left, now is the time to show hand, and I'm betting everything.

Go and fabricate a lie created just for you.

I said, "I need you to play the role of my wife."