Chapter 1: The Stupid Divination Genius

The night was as cool as water, and in the study of the Imperial Master's Mansion, there was only a dim light.

The Imperial Master Chu Xuanyi, dressed in a black robe with wide sleeves, was pinching his brows, his handsome face covered with a layer of frost that could freeze a fly to death.

Kneeling on the ground was a little girl, about eleven or twelve, with twin buns on her head. Her name was Ah Jiu. She was a new fortune teller at the observatory, said to be gifted with the ability to predict good and bad luck and the future.

Today, Chu Xuanyi asked her to predict whether there would be any flaws in the chain of evidence regarding the corruption case of the Minister of Revenue at tomorrow morning's court session.

"Speak." Chu Xuanyi's voice was cold, without a trace of warmth.

Ah Jiu suddenly raised his head, his face wrinkled into a ball, but his tone was three parts seeking credit and seven parts certainty: "Reporting to the Master of State! I have figured it out! There will be absolutely no mistakes at tomorrow's morning court! Because... because the Minister of Revenue, he, he won't be attending court at all!"

Chu Xuanyi narrowed his eyes slightly, feeling that there was an ominous premonition in the girl's words: "Oh? Tell me in detail."

Ah Jiu puffed out his chest, beaming with pride. "I've deduced the secrets of heaven and discovered that preventing the Minister of Revenue from attending court is the best solution to all these problems! So I... sneaked into the Minister of Revenue's mansion, added some croton seeds to his ginseng soup last night, hid a nest of cockroaches under his bed, and even embroidered a few lifelike giant turtles on his official uniform! I guarantee he won't get out of bed tomorrow, and even if he does, he won't be able to face anyone!"

"..." Chu Xuanyi's fingers, which were pinching his brows, suddenly tightened, and his knuckles turned white.

He asked her to tell his fortune, and she just physically isolated him?!

"Look, sir, in this way, there is no need to worry about the chain of evidence! It's a good idea to cut off the source of the problem, isn't it?" Jiu blinked his innocent big eyes, expecting praise.

Chu Xuanyi took a deep breath, then another, and felt his temples throbbing. He could almost hear the roar of blood in his veins.

What this national teacher wants is to use evidence to completely overthrow his faction in the court and shock the government and the people! Not to prevent him from attending court because of diarrhea and turtles!

This little fortune teller's train of thought is probably not just full of twists and turns, but has reached a dead end!

"Someone come here." Chu Xuanyi's voice seemed to be squeezed out from between his teeth.

"I'm here!" the guard outside the door responded.

"Take that old charlatan from the observatory who sent her here... and tie him up for me! I want to ask him personally where he found this 'gifted' little fortune teller!"

Ah Jiu: "Eh? Sir? Is my method bad? I think it's perfect! It solves the root problem in one step!"

Chu Xuanyi's forehead veins throbbed violently as he pointed at the door. "You, right now, immediately, go to the confinement room and recite the 'Calming Mantra' a hundred times! No, a thousand times!"

He's missing a nerve! He's definitely missing more than one nerve!

Ajiu was "invited" by two guards into the most remote hut in the Imperial Master's Mansion, which was said to be a place specially used for confinement and reflection.

There was a low table in the room, a stack of rice paper, a brush, an inkstone, and a thin book called "Meditation Mantra".

Ah Jiu pouted, picked up the "Calming Mantra" and flipped through it, muttering softly, "Calming Mantra? I'm quite calm, not panicking at all. But that Minister of Revenue must be panicking right now. He's either having diarrhea, scratching his itch, or crying in front of the mirror about how many turtles have grown on his head..."

The more she thought about it, the more she felt her plan was flawless, a perfect example of winning without bloodshed! Why didn't the Imperial Master understand?

"Alas, adults just think too much and insist on establishing a chain of evidence. It's so troublesome." Ajiu picked up the brush, dipped it in ink, and began to write on the rice paper.

Half an hour later.

In the study, Chu Xuanyi had just finished listening to the secret guard's report about the Minister of Revenue Li Dequan "being bedridden, in excruciating pain, and the mansion was in chaos, with servants saying they had seen official uniforms that looked like ghostly paintings", when his solar plexus began to ache again.

Li Dequan fell, but his original plan was to expose his crimes with overwhelming evidence in the court, in front of all the civil and military officials and His Majesty, to serve as a warning to others and to strike a blow against those factions that were ready to make moves.

Now, Li Dequan is absent due to some...unspeakable reasons, and the effect has directly changed from "thunderous" to "street gossip".

"Master Imperial Master," a guard walked in cautiously, holding a stack of rice paper. "This... This is the 'Calming Mantra' copied by Miss Jiu."

Chu Xuanyi took it and turned to the first page expressionlessly.

Then, his hands froze.

On the rice paper, there was indeed the handwriting of the "Calming Mantra". Although it was crooked, every stroke was counted. However...

Next to the line "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, when practicing profound Prajnaparamita," a small annotation reads: "(This Bodhisattva is truly remarkable, able to see so far ahead, unlike adults who cannot see my profound foresight!)"

Turning the page, next to the words "Shariputra, form is not different from emptiness, emptiness is not different from form," he circled a note and wrote: "(This sentence is so profound. Does it mean that things will disappear after being left for a long time, and then reappear after disappearing? For example, the official prestige of the Shangshu is gone now. When he recovers from his illness, will his official prestige return? I don't think so. The tortoise is too strong!)"

Turn the page again, it’s even more outrageous!

"...Stay away from upside-down dreams, and ultimately attain Nirvana." Nearby, Ah Jiu used a cinnabar pen to draw a large smiley face, adding a few small flowers beside it, and annotated, "(Right, right, right! Stay away from upside-down dreams! For example, the dream of using a complex chain of evidence to defeat the bad guy! Simply destroying the bad guy is the ultimate Nirvana! Have you learned this, sir? Remember to give me a chicken drumstick!)"

Chu Xuanyi: "..."

He felt that he was not reading "Meditation Mantra", but reading a book... a "Practical Manual on How to Drive Your Boss Crazy" annotated by a foolish little fortune teller.

"Pfft--" Lin Feng, the servant who was in charge of grinding ink, couldn't help but almost laughed out loud. But when Chu Xuanyi's cold eyes swept over him, he forced himself to hold back his laughter. His face flushed red and his shoulders shrugged.

Chu Xuanyi closed his eyes and slammed the stack of "masterpieces" on the table. His voice was filled with the strongest exhaustion he had ever heard: "Go, tell Ah Jiu to copy it a thousand times! No, five thousand times! Without any... personal interpretation!"

The guards took the order and ran out almost as if they were escaping.

Chu Xuanyi held his forehead with his hand. He began to seriously doubt whether the old charlatan who had fooled him and said that Ajiu was a rare divination genius in a century was a spy sent by the Minister of Revenue, specifically to torture him!

Otherwise, how could such a unique train of thought exist in this world?! He could predict someone's fortune and jinx, and literally "forget" it! He could even copy the "Calming Mantra" and write a stand-up comedy routine!

Not only did he have a headache now, but his heart also began to ache.