I'montopofyou,Idon'twannago

I'm completely devoted to you and don't want to leave

'CauseIreallywannastayatyourhouse

Because I really want to stay at your house.

——Quote from -I Really Want to Stay at Your House-Samuel Kim

-1-

After several days, the lights in the maintenance department building finally came on.

Miss U saw it the first time.

A few days ago, she went to a team-building event and drank too much and blacked out again. After that, she got up with her dizzy head, but before she could vomit out the pain of the hangover, she received a task notification.

In a world where one needs to successfully play with four people in order to guide the protagonist's emotional path back on track, Miss U operated (as a scumbag) for a long time before she barely completed the mission goal.

After returning to the system world under the guidance of the civilian team of the Love Maintenance Department, she was about to sneak out of the department building to have a drink - just have another drink if she was hungover - when she saw the lights of the Horror Maintenance Department next door turned on.

——The time clock outside the department building showed that there was only one employee logged in.

-2-

As everyone knows, it is absolutely impossible for Madman M from the Horrible Maintenance Department to come to work alone.

If we rule out M, who else could it be?

-3-

So thirty seconds later, Miss U excitedly entered the elevator of the building and broke into the lighted office.

Mr. P was quickly dealing with the complaints piling up on his desk and didn't even look up when the office door opened.

"Hello, senior."

When non-department employees enter that elevator, their ID information will be displayed there, and there is no need to look up to confirm the other person's identity.

Miss U was very excited: "Hey, long time no see, today I come to seduce you too!"

——It is obvious that Miss U, who drank too much during the team building and invited M to sit next to her, and then went to the mission world to be busy with four men after the hangover, did not get the key information that "M was masturbating in public during the team building, and it was suspected that he had found a partner because of mental illness."

While Miss M sat in Mr. P's arms and ate barbecue as if it was her natural thing, Miss U was burying herself in the beer foam and giggling.

While colleagues were frantically spreading the message "Is M persecuting angels as his target? It's over, M is going to completely destroy angels" in the forum they set up privately, Miss U was saying hi to a handsome guy with a beer in her hand in the second nightclub.

...Otherwise, she would never have run into Mr. P's office so excitedly and blurted out the above greetings.

-4-

Having bullied this strange newcomer for too long, Miss U now occasionally tries to "seduce" him like a bitch, even including a little bit of flattery towards M.

After all, every time she "seduced" a new guy in the past, M would laugh wildly beside her, as if she was watching a very funny crosstalk.

...Over time, Miss U's behavior of hanging around to seduce Mr. P has become aimed at "pleasing M so that she will be happy and reduce her murderous intentions towards me."

-5-

Mr. P was not so kind as to remind her of the changes she had undergone.

...He didn't have the confidence to guess M's thoughts in this regard. Even after they started dating, it was definitely something M could do to laugh at him when he was harassed by an outrageous colleague.

Moreover, it had only been a few days since he was labeled as "officially dating". A few days ago, M was still wondering whether she would feel comfortable kissing others. He definitely did not expect her to make a leap in emotional intelligence in such a short time.

What's more, U's harassment was not out of emotional interference. This senior was simply a fool who was easily carried away.

-6-

Mr. P was objectively very grateful for the senior's folly: Miss U was objectively a more "gorgeous" type than Miss M, and the appearance of the former Gray Banshee also happened to be of this type -

This left the young Organ with a lot of psychological trauma towards "beautiful and dazzling women".

And Miss U, this good colleague, dispelled all the shadows with her passionate and foolish power.

...He also didn't want to use this idiot to deliberately stage a jealous misunderstanding drama, so just ignore it.

So, facing Ms. U's usual harassing (idiotic) behavior, Mr. P simply said, "Please allow me to decline, senior. Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"That's right, from the orc world..."

"It's all completed. The briefing report from the Love Maintenance Department has also been sent to you. Please check your communication channel in time."

"...I just came back from the mission world and didn't notice it."

Miss U waved her hand. "It doesn't matter about the briefing. Did you really wear a skirt for that mission? Are there any pictures?"

"No."

"I haven't seen anyone from your department for a while now. I thought..."

"There's an emergency. My boss led me to capture an evil spirit organization that has violated the neutrality rules several times."

Mr. P continued to look at the complaint details in his hand while answering these questions, not looking directly at her. He was probably too busy to even bother with the appearance of being polite.

Miss U tapped her chin with her fingers painted with new nail polish, as if thinking about something.

It looked like he didn't take to heart what she had told him before.

Humph, you are still a newcomer after all?

-7-

"Hey, haven't you used that ticket to get certified yet? The ski resort number WU-18, which was given to you along with the Orc World quest, requires employee certification for every employee who has passed their 50th anniversary."

Mr. P was stunned for a moment, and it took him some time to dig out his previous memories and find the conversation he had with U.

A conversation long before he entered the Eternal Life Society and the Orc world... He seemed to be shaking the ice crusher at that time... So many things happened after that, so many memories were encountered, so much to be busy with... He really forgot.

I seem to remember that the senior also said "the certification must be completed within the next three days"?

...Hmm.

It's definitely too late.

-8-

"Feel sorry."

Mr. P looked up at her. "I didn't get the certification, and the voucher my senior gave me might have expired. Is that important?"

Ms. U thought for a moment. "It's not that serious. You can report to the main system and negotiate...see if you can get an extension...it shouldn't be a big deal. It's just a performance review for when an employee reaches the mature stage of fifty years. With your performance, it shouldn't be a problem to go in later."

So that's it.

Mr. P lowered his head again: "Thank you, senior. I will go for the certification another day..."

Anyway, let's deal with these complaints first, then finish the repair work that I haven't been able to take on in a timely manner. Then I have to deal with W's situation, check on Ms. M's physical condition and try to improve her emotional intelligence... I'll put the certification exam aside for a year...

"It's a shame, though."

Ms. U's tone changed, full of gloating: "Actually, it has nothing to do with the mission. I came here today just to see your reaction. I didn't expect you to be completely unaware of it—yes, because I didn't complete the employee certification in time, you failed to update your 'adult employee' qualification in your communication channel in time—"

"You've really missed out on so much, newbie, you know that?"

-9-

Mr. P did not respond: he had long felt that the system world's "fifty years of formal maturity" rule was outrageous. He was a guy who had existed for almost the same amount of time as M, but he had always been certified as a "minor" by the system world. If he went to the bar to order a drink, the robot would only serve him orange juice.

...By the way, speaking of bars, now that I've celebrated my 50th anniversary, should I go to Tequila Paradise and try the "Paradise" that my friends have always strongly recommended?

He's never had a strong drink before...it would be fun to try it...the legendary handsome guy always says it's very exciting every time he drinks...

Mr. P gradually submerged the chatter of his colleague across the street into the background noise, and began to think deeply about which day after get off work he should schedule to "go to the bar to drink some serious liquor."

Until [M] appeared in the background sound of my colleague.

-10-

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, what a shame."

Ms. U spread her hands and said, "Your communication channel doesn't have 'adult employee' status, so your ID won't be able to enter the R18 area and purchase the wide variety of goods there. M is a regular customer there."

Mr. P's attention flickered back from the bar.

"And, more importantly, as a newbie like you, you still can't access the public channel that only 'adult employees' can access - the nighttime adult forum that we 'adult seniors' privately established -"

Miss U bent down, hooked her fingers, put them close to Mr. P's ear, and showed a slutty expression.

"There are tons of pornographic pictures uploaded by M himself on this forum. You're the only one who can't see them, but everyone else can."

Mr. P: “…”

Ms. U, who was listening closely, said: "Hey, haha, you can't see it, you can't see it."

Mr. P: “…”

Miss U, who keeps on posting: "I have saved a ton. I even created three favorites in my private channel and still can't download all those pornographic pictures."

Mr. P: “…”

-11-

Mr. P slid open the layers of complaint documents on the light screen.

He raised his eyes and looked seriously at Miss U in front of him for the first time, very slowly.

There was no expression on his face, but no murderous intent either. He seemed still calm and gentle.

He stared at Miss U for a long time.

Then he moved his finger and entered the communication channel at the bottom of the light screen.

-12-

"Hello, Ms. M. I'm working overtime in my office, and my colleague from the romance department next door is sexually harassing me again. She's deliberately whispering in my ear, emphasizing something about 'erotic pictures.'"

-13-

Ms. M: “…”

Ms. M: "Have U stand with both hands raised facing the wall. I'll be there in thirty seconds."

-14-

Then in less than thirty seconds, Miss M jumped directly from the window and arrived at the office. Miss U, with a confused look on her face, made some indescribable noises, and then nothing happened.

The boss perfectly resolved a case of sexual harassment in the workplace, turned around and offered his dirty hands to his subordinate, who considerately took the clean hot towel that had been prepared.

-15-

"Has another employee in the Love Maintenance Department been injured on the job?"

Miss M held out her hand for him to wipe clean. "Have they been having more mental problems lately? Those scoundrels who pestered me during the team building the other day..."

Mr. P held the towel and carefully wiped the blood from between her nails.

"That's why you need to repair it regularly. You came here so quickly today. Were you nearby before?"

"Ah—that's right!" Miss M waved her hands excitedly, "Xiao P Xiao P, I watched a movie with my sister at a movie theater nearby! My sister had never watched a movie before—the first time was with me—"

oh.

"Just have fun. How was the movie?"

"I don't know. I saw you sending me a communication halfway through, so I ran over here."

"...So, I actually disturbed you and your senior from watching a movie..."

"No disturbance, no disturbance, not at all."

Miss M stood on tiptoe with a smile and kissed his cheek. "U, I've taken care of it. I'll be back after I wash my hands. I told my sister I was just going to the bathroom. I can't tell her I came here to fix the brains of the employees in the romance department. Keep working overtime."

Mr. P: “…”

-16-

After wiping his hands clean, Mr. P turned his back and put the hot towel into the basin to scrub them.

...Who taught her to mix "Hey, I'm just showing up for a moment, I'll be bye in a minute" and "Kiss, don't be mad" at the same time?

He felt a little emotional, but this very straightforward kiss on the cheek made it impossible for him to have any emotion.

"My hands are clean. There's no smell of blood."

"Thank you, Xiao P~ Then I'm leaving~"

"...Take care."

Huh, he didn't look back at her.

Is washing towels in a basin more meaningful than looking at your boss?

-17-

Miss M couldn't help but move closer, stretched out her arms, jumped lightly, and grabbed him from the back.

She has been really into this kind of back-touching lately, but M also liked to do this before they started dating - she just didn't know at the time that this action could be interpreted as "couples' touch".

"The boss came to help in less than thirty seconds! Doesn't Little P have anything else to show for it?"

"...Okay, thank you. I appreciate it."

No, why do I need your verbal thanks?

Verbal thanks to your boyfriend are very useful, what about inventing kisses and hugs.

Miss M leaned over his shoulder, pinched his earring, and hinted wildly, "There was a kiss on the cheek just now! A guy as angelic as Xiao P should return the favor!"

——If "obsessed with kissing" can be ranked second on Miss M's recent preference list, "obsessed with kissing" must be ranked first.

She was paying unprecedented attention to "good morning kiss" and "good night kiss" and other "cliché things", and was eager to order Mr. P to implement them.

-18-

"Little P~ Did your boss just kiss you~Little P~"

oh.

"If you're suggesting something like a 'goodbye kiss'."

Mr. P tilted his head, avoiding her hand playing with his earrings. "An employee working overtime in the office can't give a 'goodbye kiss' to their boss who's on vacation and happily watching a movie with their sister."

"But Xiao P asked me to rest these days—"

"I have no complaints about your leave. You were unconscious from exhaustion and then received a massive amount of memories. You certainly need to recuperate now."

"That--"

"But I just received some other mixed messages. If I kiss you now," Mr. P looked into her eyes, the soft red color showing a little darker, "I might not be able to resist biting you."

-19-

Ms. M: “…”

Miss M immediately opened her mouth, aimed it at the top of his ear, and bit him.

Mr. P: “…”

Then she loosened her teeth and licked the back of his ear where the teeth mark had been, making a very small "hehe" sound.

Mr. P: “…”

-20-

madman.

-twenty one-

He closed his eyes, his breath slightly hot.

-twenty two-

“It’s working hours…”

Such a well-behaved puppy, yet he dares to bite me.

...so cute.

M tugged at his earrings again with her fingers: "Whatever. This is not my working hours. Little P, Little P... come and kiss me?"

-twenty three-

Then the basin on the cabinet fell over, and the white towel that had just been washed fell out of the basin onto the ground, becoming soaked with blood again.

-twenty four-

Kissing is truly a harmful drug that counteracts reason and disrupts schedules.

-25-

Miss M's original plan of "slipping out for five minutes and then rushing back to watch a movie with her sister" was completely abandoned. The kiss felt strange and wonderful. What's the point of going to the cinema? It's better to stay here - right in the office. Next, I will directly rip off my subordinate's clothes -

"Hmm."

The subordinate held down her hand as she was about to pull the button of her clothes.

As soon as her hand touched the button, he seemed to come to his senses.

Mr. P, who had regained consciousness, stood up and released the hand that he had been holding tightly around her.

Miss M was sitting on the cabinet. The overturned basin of water soaked her shirt. The lights in the office were broken when she jumped in through the window. The only light source at this time was the screen on the table not far away.

The light was dim again.

But the difference was that the light clearly illuminated his translucent shirt.

-26-

Miss M sat on the cabinet, watching her boyfriend, who was leaning against her knees, slowly stand up, slowly take off his wet shirt, and then pick up the towel on the ground that was stained with blood again, and wipe the side of her waist that was also wet under the shirt with the slightly cleaner side.

He obviously hadn't returned to his usual state of clarity—this guy who washed his hands eight times a day on average actually picked up a blood-stained towel on the ground to wipe himself.

But how could Miss M have the extra brainpower to analyze these small details?

She was watching this scene.

Dim light, lowered head, pale skin, the action of wiping with lowered head, and lips bitten red by oneself.

-27-

Miss M couldn't help but slowly move her face over, put it against his throat, and opened her mouth again——

"That's all."

Mr. P avoided more ambiguous bites. He reached out to cover her mouth, but he gently bit her nose.

"My colleague's body parts are on the office floor. After they are recovered, they will also be on the office floor. We can't do that in the office. They will be seen."

Ms. M: “…”

Ms. M: "Just let her see it, I don't care..."

"I care. Don't want to do a live show."

"...Then let's go to the lounge inside and close the door..."

"Okay."

-28-

Mr. P has already taken out the spare uniform from under the cupboard.

"I remember you promised your sister you'd 'abstain from premarital sex,' right? You've got to keep your word, haven't you?"

Ms. M: “…”

-29-

After crossing countless worlds and growing up alone for an unknown amount of time, Miss M, who was obsessed with her sister, had the idea for the first time, "To hell with my sister's words."

-30-

“…What…”

She sighed deeply, ruffled her hair very vigorously, and watched Mr. P put on his new shirt and button up those damn strong buttons one by one.

...He is simply like a student who is in love too early and is hiding in a small room. He starts getting dressed an hour in advance because he is wary of his parents’ sudden raid at any time!

Are they students who are in love prematurely? Why are two inhuman creatures who have existed for who knows how long being so cautious about doing something like this? Kissing is beautiful, but shouldn't it be natural for the kiss to become so intense?

-31-

Miss M rubbed her hair hard again, let out a long sigh, and then fell on the cabinet with a "thump".

"The boss has no energy." She murmured, pressing her face against the cabinet. "The boss really needs to have sex. He needs to have sex so he can sit up."

Mr. P: "There are no sheets here, only complaint and report forms. Please don't make a fuss."

Ms. M: "Wow... my boss needs to have sex... report sheets... complaints... even better, desk sex..."

She rolled around on the cabinet while muttering these words, acting very unreasonable.

-32-

This look instantly reminded him of the countless "one-night stands" and "bed companionship" in the past, as well as the time in the later stages of their marriage when he wanted to divorce and deliberately distanced himself from her, but she had dragged him into bed countless times - even a little forcibly.

...It's the same old thing.

Mr. P was already buttoning his second shirt button. Hearing this, he was very helpless: "Do you really like doing this kind of thing?"

Miss M thought the question was stupid. She paused scrolling and raised her face from the cabinet.

"Of course. This is super fun and super comfortable, who wouldn't like it?"

Mr. P answered very naturally: "Yes. I don't like it."

“…”

Ms. M: “You what?”

-33-

"I don't like it."

Mr. P buttoned his own clothes and walked over to start straightening the wrinkles on her skirt.

His tone was very gentle, and his earrings gleamed in the backlight of the screen. "I don't like it, but I don't hate it either. Since you like it very much, I will accompany you to do it, but I personally don't have any opinion on this kind of thing."

"In the past, I always responded to your requests because I was acting out a 'one-sided infatuation'. Now we're in a serious relationship—I can't keep acting out those one-sided and tangled scenes—well, actually, I've wanted to talk to you about this for a long time."

Mr. P smoothed down her wrinkled skirt, looked up with a smile, and made a very animated gesture with his hands.

"If you want, I'll definitely be there for you. But, could you please be a little considerate of my feelings and reduce the frequency of this to four times a month?"

Ms. M: “…”

"Just, every Saturday night or something like that. Let's be considerate of each other. Kissing and hugging are fine at other times, but it's just this kind of thing, just limit the number of times and reduce the frequency a little bit. Because I really don't like it. Anyway, you only did it with me once every few months, right?"

Ms. M: “…”

"Of course, I emphasize again, if you want it, I will definitely accompany you. But you also like oral sex, right? Except for Saturday night, can we just use oral sex? Let's discuss it? Communicate? In addition to oral sex, other methods that do not go all the way are also acceptable..."

Ms. M: “…”

-34-

Miss M stared at him for a long time without saying a word.

Mr. P interpreted the reply from her expression.

"…I'm sorry. What I just said was nonsense. Do you want to get off your desk now?"

Ms. M: "No. I want to kill you."

oh.

-35-

So Mr. P smiled and opened his arms, and Ms. M picked up the paper cutter on the desk with an expressionless face.

"...Wait, let's change the venue. Go to the lounge and close the door. I don't want your body to be placed next to U."

"Okay, Miss M."

-36-

So Mr. P locked the door of the lounge, and Miss M nailed him to the door panel with a paper cutter.

--Correction: what was pinned by the paper cutter was his newly-changed uniform shirt. Miss M cut and tore it, destroying those annoying buttons, then put her hands on his neck and kissed him again viciously.

Kissing is a very strange and wonderful thing.

——These are two rare facts about mental illness that are uniformly recognized.

-37-

Miss M originally wanted to break his neck while biting his lips, but she didn't do it in the end. Her tightened fingers slowly slid down and interlocked with his fingers.

Kissing is a very wonderful and strange thing.

Small emotions, a little bit of anger, unprecedented shock and annoyance - if you stick together and kiss, gradually, all of the above things will disappear.

Serious communication and solutions are needed, and someone needs to immediately complete a damn adult employee certification to find out what the hell is going on with those pornographic pictures in the adult employee forum revealed by their colleagues.

——But since I’m kissing the person I like right now, I don’t need these things for the time being.

-38-

After a long, long time, Miss M left his lips, her face sliding down like her fingers.

Maybe I'm tired of standing on tiptoe.

Maybe she just wanted to act coquettishly - after all, every time Mr. P was pressed against her, he would tacitly bend down and provide her with the most convenient position.

Her fingers squeezed his palm, her face pressed against his throat.

Miss M opened her mouth and took a light bite.

-39-

"Hello."

He heard a madman gnashing his teeth in his throat and muttering, "I think today is Saturday."

-40-

……All right.

If the boss feels that way, then that's the truth.

Mr. P meekly replied "OK," then reached out and hugged her tightly, then slowly knelt down.