Chapter 16: Seeking a Male Wife for Fake Marriage

"Excuse me, buddy. I just received a scam call. Go on, what do you want from this fake wife?"

The coffee shop's floor-to-ceiling windows were clean and bright. Through the glass, Meng Weishen saw Asher pacing back and forth in front of the shop, looking quite anxious. But when he returned, he had put on a calm expression, sat down across from him again, and unbuttoned a button of his suit, appearing to understand social etiquette.

Asher's English name sounds like "Eros." From the moment he heard the name, Meng Weishen had a favorable impression of this gay matchmaker. He certainly had the potential to be a matchmaker: talkative but not tedious, enthusiastic but not insistent.

Meng Weishen said: "I don't have any other requirements, just a man is enough."

"Then tell me about yourself. I've read your blind date resume, but there's one key piece of information I'm not very clear about. To be responsible to my client, I need to ask you more about your situation." Asher crossed his legs and flipped through the resume between his legs, glancing at him under his plain mirror. "So you've never been with a man before? Are you a straight man?"

Meng Weishen wasn't entirely sure about his sexual orientation. He'd never dated anyone of the opposite sex, nor anyone of the same sex, but he considered himself straight, like most people around him.

Meng Weishen only answered the first half of the question: "Never."

"Then why did you choose to fake marriage with a man? Usually gay men find women to fake marriage to appease their parents, but you're the opposite, marrying someone of the same sex? Your family situation is really unique."

"Because I saw a lot of same-sex dating ads on Xiaodigu." Meng Weishen didn't want to talk about his family situation, so he carefully chose his words and picked up some insignificant reasons. "Also, a lot of same-sex people have sent me private messages. I think gay men are more open to relationships and should be more accepting of fake marriages... No, I don't mean to stereotype."

Asher didn't mind. "It's okay. Your stereotype is correct. Same-sex marriage has been in effect for almost three years now. Authoritative statistics show that the ratio of registered gay men to registered lesbians is approximately 3:7."

Having spent so much time in a work environment rife with anxiety and competition, Meng Weishen is particularly adept at worrying about other people's KPIs: "The gay dating market is too small, so I'm afraid there won't be much business for matchmakers. Do you want to explore the lesbian market?"

"That's exactly where my value lies." Asher narrowed his eyes, a smile creeping up his cheeks. "When you're the odd one out in a circle, you want stability but find yourself surrounded by people who are looking for sex. Finding people like you becomes incredibly difficult. My role is to help those who are out of place find people like you."

Meng Weishen found it quite novel. He found that any job he did was more valuable than programming.

He had a new concern: "So the gay men who come to you are all seriously considering marriage? Teacher A, is this considered marriage fraud?"

Asher choked on a mouthful of coffee before answering, "You didn't get the marriage certificate, and you explained the situation upfront. How can it be called cheating if it's a matter of mutual consent?"

Meng Weishen was still a little worried: "By the way, I can pay him 10,000 yuan every month as hard work fee. The price can be negotiated later."

"...You really have no other requests?"

"The requirement is to cooperate with me in acting, and maybe have some intimate physical contact with me, so as to deceive my mother. My mother is very perceptive and she is not that easy to fool."

Asher was even more shocked. "You mean, your male wife can kiss and hug you, and she can also receive 10,000 yuan every month. And you two are in a fake marriage without a marriage certificate, and you don't require her to remain faithful? I've talked about the advantages, but what about the disadvantages?"

"I've already told you, my mom's not easy to fool. The number of couples she's caught in premature love is enough to support the entire Civil Affairs Bureau. She can tell at a glance who's in love and who's not. So, if you're my male wife, you have to be a very skilled actress and not let on."

"I think my acting is pretty good, so I'll be your male wife." Asher blurted out, then seemed to remember something terrible and immediately backed off. "...Just kidding. I'll ask for you if there are any 18th-tier actresses or something like that, professionally suitable. But there's no guarantee that anyone will be willing to take the role, as your requirements are indeed quite special."

"Don't worry, just ask for the referral fee."

Meng Weishen thought he understood the ways of the world. If a seller said it was difficult, it meant they had to pay more. There was nothing in the world that money couldn't solve; the only reason it couldn't be solved was because they had too little.

But Asher's expression was very reluctant, and he repeatedly refused: "No need, buddy, how dare I take your money. Uh, I mean, this is a serious transaction, introduction first, payment later, you don't need to pay me now."

——

The two met only once during lunch break, and Asher had to rush back to Chaoyang District for a meeting. Before leaving, he added Meng Weishen's WeChat as a backup.

After the holidays, the new boss, Lin Zhesi, officially joined the company, but he still hadn't assigned any new tasks. Meng Weishen, however, was enjoying himself, deliberately taking a detour to find a pop-up store in the shopping mall and buying a few useless but beautiful soft-plastic figurines. He couldn't overindulge, either; his current rental contract was up in May. He'd spend a little, but it would be a disaster.

As soon as he walked back to the company building, a new message popped up on his phone.

Asher was extremely efficient, and he immediately came up with three male wife candidates, just like setting up a stall. It was so shocking that he almost had prepared everything in advance.

[Asher Zhou] Buddy, I asked around for you, and now there are three candidates willing to be your male wife:

No. 1: Height 168cm, no fixed monthly income, beauty anchor, junior high school dropout. Multi-talented.

No. 2: Height 170cm, monthly income 5,000, community security guard, Master of Philosophy, but has never found a formal job since graduation. Well-educated and well-mannered.

No. 3: Height 185cm, monthly income 40,000 RMB base salary plus commission, doctor, MD. Beautiful and intelligent, with a brilliant mind. Thoughtful, gentle, virtuous, and family-oriented. Fresh and refined, she stands out from the crowd. Gentle as a chrysanthemum, delicate and charming. If you're interested, don't hesitate.

Buddy, which man do you want to marry? Just reply to my serial number and I will help you match them up.

...Then he must choose number 1!

Meng Lirong once commented that online anchors are a new type of beggar, saying that anyone who becomes one will bring disgrace to their entire family. If he were to marry a beggar, the result would surely be a disaster. Meng Lirong probably won't dare to urge him to get married for another 20 years.

[Wesley Meng] Number 1, it’s quite irritating at first glance, and it suits me.

Asher immediately replied with a question mark.

[Asher Zhou] Hey, did you type the number correctly? It's still not too late to withdraw.

[Wesley Meng] Number 2 is also acceptable, but the income and education level need to be lower. Number 3 isn't a good option, so the other two are fine.

Asher disappeared.

Meng Weishen walked out of the elevator, walked around the potted plant at his workstation, took off his coat, and hung it on the back of his swivel chair, his eyes glued to the chat box between the two of them. No matter how anxious he was, his phone remained as silent as dead water.

At this moment, someone patted his shoulder, pulling him back to reality from his anxious state: "Stop peeking at your phone. Brother Zeus has emphasized several times that we need to improve work efficiency, and you still dare to slack off."

Meng Weishen quickly turned off the screen and turned his head to meet Ke Mi's ears, which were covered with black studs. After the Spring Festival, the black studs seemed to have split without any mitosis, and a new ear bridge was formed that ran through the upper half of the ear.

He looked around and saw that the door of Lin Zhesi's office was ajar. He guessed that Ke Mi had just been tortured there.

Since the day he took office, Lin Zhesi had been busy talking to his subordinates. Their team, including the interns, consisted of ten people, and apart from him, they took turns going to each other's offices for tea.

I heard that in Northern Europe, Zeus also manages lightning and dark clouds. No wonder every colleague who walks out of Zeus' office has a gloomy face, as if they had just been struck by lightning.

Meng Weishen asked the other party: "How is it, Mia, what did Brother Zeus talk to you about?"

Ke Mi said with a forced smile, "Brother Zeus asked me what value I could bring to Heaven if I stayed, no, what value I could create for the company. He also said the department next door had half the number of employees as us, yet their net profit at the end of the year was just as high, and asked me to reflect on why. What could I reflect on? If I weren't given the opportunity to stay, I would just celebrate on WeChat Moments if the company went bankrupt."

"Reflect on the reasons? The reason is that the senior leadership didn't choose the right business lines and there are problems with the business strategy. We have been lagging behind our peers for many years, and we are still trying to compete viciously in the live e-commerce track. I think it's complete nonsense."

When a joke is told with truth, it always takes on a cold, bloody flavor just when someone is about to smile. Ke Mi couldn't laugh, so she just pulled the corners of her mouth stiffly and asked him in a low voice, "But why hasn't Zeus talked to you yet? Now that even the interns have been talked to, you're the only one left in the group, right?"

"It's a good thing you didn't come to me. I don't like chatting with the boss."

Meng Weishen has always been too lazy to guess what other people are thinking, and he himself can't figure it out either.

Before leaving, Kuang Jia made one final personnel adjustment, assigning him to be Ke Mi's mentor to avoid a lack of clarity in the division of labor, which would have reduced Ke Mi to a common footstool for the team. Seeing Lin Zhesi's clear intention to isolate him, Ke Mi became even more anxious than he was. "This is not a good thing! I can't help but feel like something's wrong. You should at least find out what's going on. What exactly is he trying to do?"

"Okay, there's no point in worrying. I'm going to promote Ms. Kuang's new company this weekend and ask her opinion then. You can also ask around for me, and I'll treat you to dinner later."

Meng Weishen was still worried about the blind date, so he simply sent Ke Mi away.

As if picking up on his brainwaves, the phone's screen lit up, displaying a new message from Asher. The stagnant waters finally stirred.

[Asher Zhou] Sorry, you're late. Numbers 1 and 2 have already been matched, so only number 3 is left. Your requirements are quite specific, and we won't be able to find other candidates soon. Would you like to meet with number 3 first?