Chapter 156

When Yak opened his eyes, it was already night.

He looked outside; the snow was still falling heavily, and the chaotic place was completely enveloped in white. It was getting colder and colder. The animal skin that someone had covered him with was now frozen stiff.

His stomach was a little empty, but he didn't plan to eat. He hadn't brought much food this time; as a monster, he intended to use his magic to get through this period. It wasn't the first time he'd gone hungry; he was already used to that empty stomach feeling.

He tried to get up, but found it difficult. He still couldn't muster any strength, so he shook his head helplessly and touched the wound on his chest, which had completely healed.

Yak looked at his hands, then put them on his face and rubbed his expressionless face hard.

It would be incredibly embarrassing to be seen in such a state; it would probably destroy all the good impression people have of you.

It's really pathetic; it's not the first time I've been let down. But it's still embarrassing that I look so haggard.

Perhaps it's fortunate that Denos left; in Denos's mind, Denos was still a man of great hidden strength, rather than someone who couldn't even stand up after a full-force battle.

Yak curled up, his whole body convulsing from the excruciating pain.

I just checked and there's no one there, so even if I'm like this, no one will see me.

Otherwise, they won't feel at ease; they still need a long time to reach the next location. It wouldn't be worth wiping out the entire team because of my actions, which would lower their emergency response capabilities.

And it's not a big deal, just painful. Every time this damned thing is used, it leaves a mark on the body, and the bones and muscles all over the body regenerate after being damaged.

The general feeling is similar to being crushed into mincemeat by a stone, then growing back, and then repeating the cycle endlessly.

"How are you?"

Yak was so frightened that he almost crashed through the carriage and fell outside.

He sat up abruptly and looked at Lady, who was sitting right in front of him.

I think my eyes must be broken; such a big person sitting there. But after glancing outside, I felt like there was no one there.

No wonder, considering we didn't sense any living beings or demons. Strictly speaking, what is Lady? But since she's been given a demonic seal, she should be considered one of the demons, right?

As Yak pondered this, he rubbed his temples, trying to figure out how to explain his embarrassing behavior just now.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Lady asked softly, not looking in their direction, but instead sitting on the carriage, hugging her knees. The bumpy carriage made her a little dizzy.

"A little, just stretching," Ark offered an explanation, then decided to change the subject: "How's the recovery going?"

“That’s about it.” Lady looked at him like a startled cat.

It was somewhat like the first time I met this girl; she had the same look in her eyes when she first woke up. It was as if Ark had entered her territory, and she was wary of it.

But ever since Nidra was drastically altered, this guy has become a completely different person. Now, suddenly feeling the same way again, Ark feels that something is amiss.

It's not that her personality was bad afterward, just a bit annoying. But she survived, avoiding an accident.

But this kind of personality is really not cute, and it's a bit of a waste of that pretty face.

This way is better; it looks like she's found another homeless child. She hid in the corner, unsure whether to give her food or slap her.

He felt a little dizzy, and the pain became so intense that he almost forgot himself when he tried to move his head.

"Speaking of which, what are you doing here now?" Yak scratched his head, looking at her with some confusion.

After hesitating for a moment, Lady slowly took off her coat, revealing her fair neck and almost pale skin.

Yak looked for a few seconds, then continued to cover his face with his hands.

"Don't say that, I have a family." Yak casually uttered some nonsense, his head starting to ache again.

"Is that so?" Lady spoke in a hushed tone, making it difficult to discern her meaning. She dressed again and looked at Ark: "Miss White asked me to seduce you."

"Miss Bai? You mean that fox?" Ark remembered the creature. Although it was unconscious when it arrived, judging from the time, it's possible that it has woken up now.

“She said if you do something bad for this reason, she’ll tell Benny, and then she’ll think you’re a scumbag, and maybe she can persuade her to find a better person,” Lady said expressionlessly. This expression seemed to be contagious; at first it was only Ark, but now more and more people had adopted this expressionless face: “She doesn’t want you two to be together.”

“I can see that now.” Ark opened his eyes. Lady had returned to her previous state, like a stray kitten he had picked up and put on the carriage.

"I like you."

"I know."

It was another conversation like this, but without the strange emotions of the previous two. The words were spoken slowly, then met with a slow refusal. Neither of them expected anything different; it was just a routine procedure.

"Aren't you angry?" Ark was a little curious about Lady's current state. After saying that, she didn't say anything else, just said it and then acted as if she had completed her daily task.

That's not good. If it really happens every day, it'll get a bit annoying. If Benny comes, I'll probably get domestic violence for this reason.

"Don't be angry." Lady looked at Ark seriously. "I suspect you don't like women."

The air was silent for about three or five seconds, until Yak's loud cough broke the illusion of tranquility.

“You can’t say that.” As Yak hesitated, wondering if she had eaten something wrong today, he saw her suddenly lean in very close to him, placing her hands on his shoulders so that he could only lean against the wall.

Then she slowly pressed down on him, her soft body pressing against Ark's, and he only needed to reach out to pull her into his arms.

But Yak did nothing and said nothing. Half a minute later, she slowly got up and sat on the coffin next to her.

“At least this shouldn’t be taken as evidence that I don’t like women.” Yak finally spoke: “I just feel that nothing I do is appropriate, so I can only sit quietly.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean that,” Lady said, looking at Ark. “To put it another way, you don’t like humans, and you don’t like monsters. And gender is irrelevant to that either. Is that right?”

"Why do you think that?" Ark didn't refuse, looking up at Lady. Their eyes met, their beautiful pupils reflecting the snowy scenery outside.

“Because you don’t seem to feel sad about anyone’s death. Even if Miss Benny died someday, would you be sad?” Lady said softly, looking at Ark very seriously. “I don’t see anything called love in your behavior together.”

“I originally thought that after I found a doll, it would turn into me teaching the doll what love is, I never thought that one day I would be the one teaching it.” Ark shook his head angrily: “I will do my best to stop it, and I can guarantee that if her death is because of me, I will not hesitate to kill myself.”

“Of course you’ll kill yourself. You were included in the scope I was talking about earlier. You don’t even love yourself.” Lady’s eyes suddenly flashed with disgust: “Just as you said, you’re a monster, always have been.”

Yak didn't say anything, but slowly got up and prepared to leave the carriage.

Perhaps he needs to keep watch, and he also needs some activity that allows him to connect with the cold air outside. The air here is really unbearable. It's really making you feel dizzy, really making you feel mentally disoriented.

It really makes you feel like your existence is worthless. Everyone in this world has their own purpose, but you alone are worthless.

Lady watched him leave; he didn't answer her question but simply walked away.

Is that considered an admission? Or perhaps it's because I haven't figured out how to answer her question?

But ultimately, do I really understand what love is?

There are too many things I don't know or understand. Sometimes, the only way to live happily is to stop caring about those things.

She slowly rose to her feet. She hadn't come here solely for this matter; a repair kit was kept in the carriage. Her injuries weren't easily repaired by her abilities; she still needed manual adjustments.

Outside the carriage, Yak slowly exhaled, looking at the white snow outside.

He was thinking about the question Lady had asked him earlier. He honestly didn't know how to answer it, so he could only flee in embarrassment.

It was a truly incompetent approach, but there was no other way. Ark couldn't find a single question that he himself would believe. And because he had just been unconscious for a while due to the backlash, he didn't even want to tell a decent lie.

He slowly lay down; the carriage was covered in snow, so he simply lay down in it. Right above him was a giant blue dragon, likely of the Calamity level, posing a threat.

But it has nothing to do with them; obviously, it didn't attack, so we can just leave it alone. Even a dragon like that couldn't survive in a place like this. It would be injured one day and then disappear forever.

Thinking about it might make him feel a little better, so he closed his eyes and pondered the question.

In fact, this is a simple proposition, because if there is the concept of life, then there must also be the concept of death.

Benny's only weakness is being attacked while asleep because of me. This has happened before, not just once, but it's a recurring problem. Therefore, on an almost infinitely long timeline, there will inevitably come a time when I failed in my duty, failing to give her the peace of mind she deserved. And that led to her death one day, with me kneeling on the ground holding her body.

It will happen someday, or I'll die first. That outcome is obviously better, but although I feel that living is the same anyway, dying is even more meaningless.

He turned over and looked at the little spider sitting in front of him.

The creature actually sat there and fell asleep, its spider legs unconsciously dangling around it. Suddenly, a monster leaped up from somewhere. Before Ark could even see what it was, one of its spider legs flashed, and the monster's magic core was pierced. Several meters away, completely unconscious, the thing was killed.

That's really impressive. Even Ark seems a bit blind to this ability. Come to think of it, back then I never imagined this guy could actually grow into a Chaos Calamity.

It's unexpected that after following me for so long, this guy is still like a child. Unlike his ever-growing abilities, he remains as ignorant and naive as a child.

When he loses enough, his personality will probably become like mine. Ark hesitated for a moment, then refrained from lecturing him. This personality truly represents someone who is alive. He still cares about things and won't feel that everything is meaningless because of this.

In a life long enough to last, everything loses its original meaning, and Ark is losing his way. In the heavy snow, that question makes his head feel a little cold.

What do I want?

He racked his brains, trying very hard to think about this problem.

I don't know why it ended up being this problem, but when this question popped into my head, I felt like my head was about to explode.

I already have a headache, and thinking about this kind of problem might cause me to break down.

What is there left for me to cherish? What do I still want? I don't know, I can't figure it out at all.

All he knew was that he had to protect Lori to the Land of the Dead; that was his mission. That's why he tried so hard to find Lori. Even under those circumstances, he was determined to find her and take her away.

Ghost Duke seems to have used a strange description to describe it, something like... a late-game player who can only find side quests to pass the time after completing the main quest?

What the heck? This metaphor has four or five nouns in a sentence that I don't understand. Even the few words that I can understand are combined in a way that makes them incomprehensible.

But I always feel it might be quite appropriate. Although I can't understand it.

But speaking of which, where did that guy go?

It seems they didn't bring him along this time; I don't know where he was abandoned.

He should be alright. He will continue to live until one day he sees him again.

I wonder if we'll be able to sit down and have a proper talk next time we meet. Maybe that guy really is from a better place, like he said, without such madness and terrifying sights.