Chapter Eight

-Yu Shaohan-

Panda and I walked down the street and successfully fulfilled my long-held wish—an 80% head-turning rate. Unfortunately, nine out of ten people who turned around weren't looking at me, but at the talking, moving plush panda next to me.

...That's why I don't want to do missions with Panda. After all, if I didn't go on missions with him, but with Xiao Lan, or even worse, with Maki, I would definitely be the coolest guy on the street.

But the person I was doing the task with was Panda.

Panda has a really good temper; she can even tolerate my inexplicable bad temper—you know, sometimes even Xiao Lan can't stand my bad temper.

"Ah, we've arrived at the mission location."

The mission location is a school.

Thanks to Xiao Lan, I now feel nauseous and disgusted whenever I see an abandoned school—this girl actually came to my room late at night a few days ago, holding a flashlight, and insisted on arguing with me about the ten impossible mysteries circulating in the school that she had heard about from who-knows-where.

...I meant well, and I didn't even kick her out. I should have known better than to listen to all that nonsense about ghosts, mysterious dead people, moving mannequins in medical rooms, and pianos that suddenly start playing at night, etc.

Panda's furry paw (crossed out) patted my shoulder—he probably wanted to make sure I wasn't scared on my first mission. In fact, I was genuinely grateful for his thoughtfulness, even though my fear stemmed from the scary stories Xiao Lan told me, not from any cursed spirit.

"Just follow behind me," Panda said to me.

We entered the abandoned school one after the other. The environment was eerie, and my hand instinctively reached for the talisman, but I felt nothing. I blinked, then suddenly realized—I had accidentally taken the talisman out of my pocket while doing laundry yesterday!

Okay, nobody argues with me now. I'm just a weakling who can't even kill a chicken.

Fortunately, there's always a way out. I rummaged through my bag and finally found the only Fire and Thunder Talisman at the bottom.

...But I really don't dare use it anymore. Do you remember why Xiao Lan and I time-traveled? Yes, it was because I was being impulsive and, in a fit of rage, threw a Fire Thunder Talisman at her. The next second, a bolt of lightning struck, and we were spectacularly transported to another world.

In the end, I made a decision in my heart—I will absolutely not use this Fire and Thunder Talisman unless it's a critical moment. So, everything depends on you! Panda!

Panda had no idea what I was thinking. The assistant inspector (or something like that?) didn't come with us this time for some reason. He was all smiles, setting up a screen outside the school.

"The tent must be set up, or we'll be punished by the moths," Panda said. "Don't learn from Wu. If we don't set up the tent and ordinary people see it, it'll be very difficult to deal with."

"Mmm." I nodded obediently.

As we walked, Panda explained the effect of the tent and how I should set it up. On the surface, I nodded obediently, but in reality, I didn't take a single word to heart; my mind was filled with images of the moving cadaver.

Of the dozen or so short stories Xiao Lan told, the one about the "moving cadaver" terrified me the most. Just kidding, imagine seeing a skinless human rushing towards you, flashing a row of white teeth and grinning at you—you'd be scared too if that happened to you.

"A living, breathing cadaver?"

That's Panda's voice, but how could Panda know what I'm thinking? Did I accidentally blurt out my innermost thoughts?

"Haha, how could that be? This is obviously fictional—anyway, you misheard, Panda."

"...It's not fictional."

Panda's voice seemed to tremble. His behavior was certainly unusual, but I didn't bother to investigate. I continued walking forward, directly bypassing Panda. "I was just kidding, don't joke around. Let's hurry up and remove the cursed spirit so we can get the reward and buy new clothes..."

"Bar?"

My voice trailed off—No way? A moving cadaver? Isn't that a little scary?

I must solemnly declare here. I fear neither heaven nor earth, and of course, I'm not afraid of these nonsensical fantasy things either; I was just a little surprised to suddenly see them...

I took two steps back, my hand gripping the talisman that granted me power. "What is this? A ghost or a cursed spirit?"

"It should be a cursed spirit, right?" Panda's voice also became uncertain. "Maybe...?"

"Don't just say 'maybe,' Panda! This is making me super nervous! I just have one question: have you ever seen a cursed spirit like this?"

“…No.” Panda shook his head honestly, “That’s why I was a little surprised when I first saw him.”

"Then get well soon, Panda!" I said with a pained expression. "You know what? We can only rely on you now—I actually, actually, forgot to bring my talisman! Ugh, what do you think about me calling Xiao Lan and having her fly over on her sword to bring me the talisman?"

"Sword control? What is sword control?"

"Sword control is...wait, wait, wait, Panda! You've got the wrong point! The important thing isn't sword control, it's delivering talismans. Ahhh, where's my phone? Answer it, you brat Xiao Lan!"

I nervously pulled out my phone, trying to ease my anxiety by chatting with Panda. I unlocked it with my fingerprint, made a call, and dialed the number. The next second, a huge X appeared on the screen with the words "No Signal" written on it.

...The sky has fallen.

"What do we do! There's no signal!" I clutched my head, refusing to accept reality. "Should we run?"

"It's okay!" Panda had calmed down and patted his chest to assure him, "I will protect you."

“So now I have a task for you. Relax, Shaohan.” Panda stared into my eyes, and miraculously, I calmed down. “We’ll be fine.”

I took a deep breath: "What is it?"

“Calm down and try to sense it carefully. It’s a cursed spirit, just a level four cursed spirit, very weak,” Panda said. “But the mission data clearly shows that there should be a level three cursed spirit here. So I would like to ask you to go and check somewhere else to see where that level three cursed spirit is hiding.”

Knowing it's a cursed spirit makes things much easier; after all, cursed spirits are much better than living, breathing cadavers. "I understand," I said solemnly, giving Panda a heads-up, "I'll go find that level three cursed spirit. I might need my Fire and Thunder Talisman in a crisis, so don't blame me if you end up traveling through time with me."

"Haha." Panda laughed twice—he probably thought I was joking. "No, no, no."

If you really time-travel, don't blame me for not warning you. In this critical moment, I couldn't argue with Panda about whether I was joking or not. I nodded and ran upstairs to the second floor.

Putting aside the fact that this was an abandoned school, everything here was quite novel to me. I went into the computer lab and stared at the dusty computers. "Wow." I had seen how to turn on a computer at Gojo Satoru's place before. Although this computer seemed a bit bulky and was quite different from Gojo Satoru's, thankfully the boot-up method was similar. "This can actually turn on?" My eyes shone as I stared at the brightly lit screen. "That's amazing!"

But I still remembered I had important business to attend to. If this computer could be turned on, I might as well wait until after the curse was removed before taking it back—a free computer! I thought to myself, feeling quite pleased with myself. I opened the door to the computer lab—how strange, I hadn't closed the door when I came in.

Leaving the computer lab, I continued walking down the corridor. The sounds of the panda and the cadaver fighting that I could hear just moments before were now gone; the school was unusually quiet.

I kept walking forward and soon saw the Level 3 cursed spirit that Panda had mentioned in the teachers' office. This cursed spirit was relatively decent, at least unlike the cursed spirit that Xiao Lan and I had encountered last time, which was filthy and smelly. When it saw me, it immediately turned and tried to run away, but I blocked the doorway. In its panic, it chose to jump out of the window, crashing into the glass and dying instantly, turning into ashes.

I:"……"

Are there really such stupid cursed spirits?

The cursed spirit was removed, and the tent naturally disappeared as well. Panda arrived, panting, and told me the mission was complete. We were free to do as we pleased. As the culprit who had attracted so much attention on the street, he decided to buy me some new clothes as an apology. The moment I stepped out of the abandoned school, my phone signal returned. Xiao Lan messaged me: "[I'm sorry, Lord Shaohan, I'll never tell you those scary stories again. Please forgive me, I'll treat you to some cake as an apology!]", accompanied by a picture of Xiao Lan kneeling on the ground.

Gojo Satoru was waiting for me in a luxury car not far from the abandoned school, with a beaming Monkey Bro beside him. Monkey Bro's smile was so radiant, like a sunflower in full bloom. He bowed to me and told me he deeply regretted calling us "monkeys," and in exchange, I should call him "Monkey King" from now on…

"Why……"

Despite the beautiful scene, I inexplicably began to sigh. My fingers curled slightly as I pulled out the only Fire and Thunder Talisman from my pocket. "It's too beautiful, don't you know?" I gripped the talisman tightly between my right index and middle fingers, drew a large circle in the air, and forcefully flung the Fire and Thunder Talisman into the air.

"Is it an illusion?" I looked around expressionlessly. "I don't think I'm wrong."

A bolt of lightning struck me squarely, and with a sharp crack, everything before me crumbled away, shattering into pieces. I was back in the abandoned computer lab, my fire and lightning talisman still clinging to the computer screen, the screen completely broken. The hideous cursed spirit lay on the ground, stained with a purple liquid, half its body reduced to ashes. I walked over, arms crossed, and looked down at it.

“Your illusion is too smooth and beautiful.” I squinted, ignoring the “ah ah” sounds the cursed spirit was straining to make. “It’s too beautiful, which makes it seem especially…”

"Absurd and laughable."