Chapter Twenty-Six

-Yu Shaohan-

The stool's delusional behavior did indeed attract a fellow delusional brat to us.

"One stool was already difficult enough... and now there's a second one." Looking at the person and ghost (or rather, two ghosts?) next to me striking the same pose as calling for Ultraman, I whispered to Xiao Lan, "The stool looks like it really admires that kid. Will they end up becoming some kind of close friend despite their age difference?"

Xiao Lan was speechless: "Your imagination is a bit too outrageous."

However, to me, that delusional brat was no big deal, and had absolutely nothing to do with me. He was just summoned by the stool by some twist of fate to tell us the whereabouts of the Monkey King's corpse. So, I stopped focusing on describing what this brat actually looked like and instead focused on describing...

"What? The body was dug up/stolen?"

Xiao Lan, Deng Xiqi, and I spoke in unison. Beside us, the Monkey King stood with his arms crossed, his face ashen.

"Do you remember who took the body away?" I pressed the immature kid.

The chuunibyou kid glanced at me timidly: "I don't remember the specifics, but I remember he was a very strange person."

"Very strange?" For some reason, upon hearing this, the image of the sutured figure I saw outside the high school last time instantly popped into my mind. "A person with sutures on their head?"

The delusional kid shook his head and then nodded: "That person did have sutures on his head. He'd been watching the grave of that person you're talking about for days... The situation was really bizarre; even I, a ghost, was startled. He laughed loudly and suddenly pried his head open along the sutures..."

"Holy crap," Deng Xiqi exclaimed, "What the hell is this? Are you sure you're not dreaming or hallucinating?"

"I swear, I saw it with both eyes." The delusional kid immediately raised two fingers to swear, "After he pried open the head, uh, there was a moving brain with long arms and legs that crawled out of his head, then cut open the new corpse's head, crawled in, and then the corpse suddenly started moving..."

I exaggeratedly gagged twice: "Stop talking, it's too disgusting, I can already picture it."

Xiao Lan was also disgusted, but unlike me, she didn't show it openly. She said expressionlessly, "...What nonsense is this?"

Although what this chuunibyou kid said was too absurd, looking at him staring at the stool with eyes full of stars, almost obedient to everything he said, I really didn't think he could make up such a story to fool us.

"Then what do we do?"

Deng Xiqi went to the side to send the chuunibyou brat to his death. I felt a bit of a headache, squatted on the ground, and idly drew on the ground with a small twig: "What do we do now? That brat already said that the Monkey King's body was taken away. Are we still going to frantically dig up the grave to see if the Monkey King's body is still there?"

Xiao Lan shrugged: "You're asking me? Who should I ask?" She turned her head and looked at the Monkey King. "Why don't we ask the person involved?"

party:"……"

The person involved gritted their teeth and said, "Dig! Of course we have to dig! Who knows if that monkey is lying?"

We were already used to the Monkey King's indiscriminate way of speaking, targeting anyone without special abilities. "Then let's dig," I said blankly. "What if the stitches put the body back in when this brat isn't looking?"

Good news, no shovel needed.

Bad news, no shovel.

"It's all up to you, Xiao Lan!" I patted Xiao Lan's shoulder hard. "After all, we don't have shovels, so we can't dig. We can only rely on you to use your Instantaneous Sword to create a big pit here!"

Speaking of which, she hasn't seemed as energetic as usual these past two days. What's wrong? Is it because she's still wearing clothes that are soaked with the cursed spirit's slime (even though she's washed them)?

"Keep it up!" I encouraged Xiao Lan. "Well done, the Monkey King will reward you handsomely!"

"...I don't know if the Monkey King will reward me, but with so many people here, why should I be the one to do it?"

The Monkey King spread his hands and said, "I am a ghost."

I imitated the monkey king, spreading my hands and saying, "I don't have a shovel."

"Oh dear, this is so uncomfortable. If I had a shovel, I would definitely help you dig. But making a big hole shouldn't be too difficult for you, right?"

I'm right, this really wasn't difficult for Xiao Lan. Xiao Lan didn't even need to use the Instant Sword, he just used the Swordless Sword Technique of the Long Condensation Technique (speaking of which, what exactly is the Swordless Sword Technique? How can it be called a sword technique if it's "swordless"?), and the next second, a big crater appeared on the ground.

I gave her a thumbs up: "No wonder you're a home-demolition expert!"

Xiao Lan, with dead fish eyes: "I'll beat you up."

We didn't see the Monkey King's body at his tombstone, so it seems the little devil wasn't lying after all.

After we had dug the pit, checked if the body was there, and even filled half of the pit, Deng Xiqi finally arrived late—I reasonably suspect that he just didn't want to come and fill the pit and be a laborer, which is why he dawdled for so long.

"Aren't you going to come and help?"

I awkwardly kicked the dirt next to me into the pit with my foot: "Are you just going to watch us work here?"

Xiao Lan was using her hands to scoop handfuls of soil into the pit from the side.

"Hey, stop worrying about the soil here!" Hearing me speak, Deng Xiqi blinked, then quickly changed the subject, "Do you remember when Xia Youjie died?"

"I think it was around the 23rd or 24th, what's wrong?"

"It was December 24th, because we don't know the exact time of Xia Youjie's death, but it was probably between December 24th and December 25th."

I glanced at the Monkey King: "Monkey King? Do you remember exactly when you died?"

"I was on the verge of death at the time, how could I know the exact time?" The Monkey King sneered.

"What's the use of knowing the exact time of death?" Xiao Lan grasped the key point. "Is the exact time absolutely necessary?"

"About?" Deng Xiqi scratched her head. "The soul entering the body—any body will do, but it's best to use your own body—must be within a week. If it's been more than a week, it won't be able to enter the body to revive."

I:"……"

Xiao Lan: "..."

Monkey King: "..."

"Damn it!" I blurted out a curse in a flash. "What's the date today?"

Xiao Lan opened her phone: "...December 31st, by the way, it's already past 10 or almost 11 o'clock."

Indeed, there's no time to dwell on whether or not to fill in the pit in front of the Monkey King's tomb, or how to fill it. "So what do we do now? The Monkey King's body has mysteriously disappeared. Are we just going to find any random corpse in this cemetery and borrow it? That seems a bit unethical."

"No." The first to reject the proposal was the Monkey King. Upon hearing it, his face immediately showed obvious disgust. "Forget it."

"As for the body, does it have to be a human body?" Xiao Lan began to consider some "unorthodox methods".

"Any body will do. Cats, dogs, and other small animals are all fine, but you must be careful that there is no other soul inside the body."

Well, Xiao Lan's question can't really be called "heretical," but in this desolate wilderness, there aren't any dead animals that could provide a body for the monkey king.

Wait... My gaze slowly moved to the side, finally settling on the little monkey doll that was attached to my pocket.

Hey? I have a great idea!

The Monkey King's focus was elsewhere: "Let's just find any body for now, but once I find my own body, will I be able to return to it?"

Deng Xiqi nodded affirmatively: "Yes."

“Monkey King.” My worries had completely vanished, and I spoke slowly, my tone no longer flustered but completely calm. “You’re not willing to settle for an ordinary person’s body, are you?”

"uh-huh."

"Okay, I got it." I struggled to take the monkey doll off my pocket and tossed it to Deng Xiqi. "Stool, we're running out of time. How about this? If it's okay, just make do with this for now."

The Monkey King was standing quite far from us, and the monkey doll was small (you can't expect it to be big if it's just attached to the clothes), and I threw it at Deng Xiqi very quickly. Anyway, I'm sure the Monkey King didn't see which body he was going to enter later—otherwise, he definitely wouldn't have that expression now.

Xiao Lan, however, noticed it with her sharp eyes, and she couldn't help but burst out laughing. I secretly made a "shh" gesture to her, and she winked and said "OK" to me.

Deng Xiqi also smirked and nodded at me, meaning that this "body" could certainly accommodate a great Buddha like the Monkey King.

"Hurry up if you can," I winked at Deng Xiqi. "It won't be fun if the Monkey King finds out."

She shoved the monkey doll into her pocket: "Yes, yes, yes, time is of the essence, so let's begin the ritual of the soul entering the body now."

Xiao Lan and I pinched each other's arms hard, trying our best to hold back our laughter.

Deng Xiqi's so-called ritual for the soul to enter the body was actually very simple. He would bite his finger, write a few words that only ghost cultivators could understand behind the soul that needed to enter the body—that is, the Monkey King. Then he would press his left thumb on the Monkey King's head and his right thumb on the monkey doll's head, hold it for a few breaths without moving, and that would be the end of it.

"It's so easy," I whispered to Xiao Lan. "I feel like I could do it too."