Chapter 155 There is no standard for living; people are not meant to chase after someone's talent...

China is so big, I really don't know where to find Jiang Yueming. In the summer of 2015, a year had passed since he and Jiang Yueming separated. A year is not long, but it is not short either. Of course, he knew that the hope was slim, but even if he didn't look for her, he would always think about her, thinking about her day and night.

"Leshan, what's so great about Guangdong that makes you go there every other day?" Sister Qiuxin couldn't help but gossip, and she started to guess, "Is your boyfriend there?"

Li Leshan quickly shook his head, not wanting Qiu Xin to misunderstand. To be honest, he wasn't even sure if Jiang Yueming was in the south. So his search was almost futile. Even if she was in Guangdong, so what? That place has 21 cities, 65 districts, not to mention counties... He was just relying on luck.

Li Leshan has always been unlucky.

"And you, stop bringing us so many local specialties every day. I feel embarrassed," Sister Qiuxin said with a smile. Every time this person comes back, he brings back big bags and small bags, things he bought for her, for Xiaorui and Xiaoshuo. Deng Qiuxin always tells him off, but he doesn't listen. When asked, he just says, "You've helped me a lot."

Li Leshan smiled at her, thinking that Sister Qiuxin was exaggerating, as if he were going to buy goods, which was clearly not the case. Sometimes Li Leshan felt that Deng Qiuxin and Lin Cuiqin were very similar, although they looked completely different. He now thought that it was probably their shared gentleness and beauty that made Li Leshan feel that they had something in common.

"How was it? Was the place fun? Which attractions are worth visiting? How does it compare to Beijing?" Deng Qiuxin asked him, smiling as she said, "When I'm less busy, I'll take Xiaorui and Xiaoshuo there to play."

Li Leshan lowered his head and thought for a while. He typed on his phone and then showed it to Sister Qiuxin, "Sorry, Sister, I haven't been to any of these tourist attractions."

Deng Qiuxin read the words clearly and was completely surprised. "What? So what are you going to that place for?"

Could it be that he's just bored? The round-trip train tickets are so expensive, that's not like Li Leshan at all.

Thinking about it carefully, Li Leshan was also a little confused. He said he wanted to find someone? There were probably only a handful of people in all of China who could find someone so aimlessly and by chance. Even if he did say so, Sister Qiuxin couldn't help much; she could only worry along with him.

He continued typing, "Sis, I don't like going to tourist attractions."

He had never been there before. He didn't like going to crowded places, and the long queues at the ticket booths made him feel even more out of place. Li Leshan also felt uncomfortable there, and he had no desire to have fun.

"Brother Leshan," Xiao Shuo poked his head out from the side, "I have a question I can't answer."

"Have you thought about it yourself? Ask your brother Leshan." Deng Qiuxin frowned and asked him.

Xiao Shuo frowned as well, her little face all scrunched up. "Of course I thought about it, but I still don't understand."

Li Leshan walked over to look at the practice problems in the child's hand, while Deng Qiuxin scolded the child, saying things like, "Brother Leshan is so busy every day, how could he have time to teach you?" and "I'm sorry, Leshan, you have such low qualifications, teaching elementary school addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division..."

Li Leshan didn't think that way. He had been through this stage himself, and he didn't find it troublesome or anything, but he couldn't say anything, and couldn't say anything good about Xiao Shuo.

"Ugh, this kid is such a headache." Deng Qiuxin finally saw the little devil off. She sat down and complained and chatted with Li Leshan. To be honest, Li Leshan was a one-in-a-million listener. He was very patient, never interrupted, and was also very handsome. Even when she was just venting, he was in a good mood when they talked face to face.

“He’s been a real handful since he was little, nobody can control him. He’s been fighting and skipping school at such a young age,” Deng Qiuxin sighed. “I’ve been called to the school four times this month, it’s really giving me a headache. I’d like to ask your parents for advice on how they raised such a well-behaved and sensible child, haha.”

Li Leshan was stunned for a moment after hearing this. He lowered his head and pursed his lips, feeling a dryness in his throat.

Seeking wisdom? Finding his parents?

Finding it is really difficult. The difficulty is immense.

But he did have something to say about the first half of the sentence. Li Leshan typed on his phone, "Xiao Shuo is a good kid, he will definitely be a very good person in the future."

Deng Qiuxin couldn't stop smiling after hearing this. She would have thought anyone else was flattering her, but Li Leshan's words made her feel like she had a new hope for the future.

"Really? Leshan, are you trying to comfort your sister?" Deng Qiuxin joked, patting her chest to indicate that she was very easygoing and could take anything. "Say whatever you want, my emotional resilience isn't that bad."

Li Leshan glanced at the child in the distance who was doing her homework with a worried expression, then looked back at her phone screen. She showed the child what she had typed, her expression serious. "Really."

Because he had seen children like that before, just as mischievous and restless as him, never home. Everyone said he was the naughtiest kid. What became of him in the end? Actually, he became very sensible and capable.

"I'm relieved to hear you say that." Deng Qiuxin breathed a sigh of relief and said with a smile, "Then I'll just wait to enjoy my life. But I guess I'll never catch up with you no matter how hard I try. Your parents must be so happy to have a child like you."

Qiu Xin is innocent and cannot be blamed, because she has no idea about Li Leshan's family affairs. He has never talked about these family affairs before, and it would be like he is trying to gain sympathy if he did. He never talks about them with others.

But Qiu Xin's words inadvertently touched a raw nerve with Li Leshan. Perhaps, as she said, as they said, he had made something of himself, achieved success, but no one saw it. He most wanted them to see it, but in the end, none of them did.

Li Leshan remained silent for a long time. He thought to himself, "People can't be compared to each other. There's no standard for living. You can't say someone's life is meaningful just because they got into a good university, nor can you say someone's life is meaningless just because they dropped out of school to work."

People don't live to catch up with someone. If someone may never catch up with someone else in their entire life, can you say that their life is meaningless? Can you say that they don't deserve to live?

No, because there is no standard for living.

He looked at Qiu Xin quietly, his thoughts drifting elsewhere, perhaps to someone else. After a long while, he gently shook his head. "Actually, I'm not particularly good, and Xiao Shuo is just as good."

Deng Qiuxin was left speechless, unsure what to say. Her maternal instincts and over forty years of life experience told her that the boy before her carried a burden unlike any other. At an age when he should be full of youthful vigor, he was unusually composed, even…always looking down on himself, always doubting himself.

Deng Qiuxin didn't know how to put it, but she just felt that looking at Li Leshan's lowered head, she felt inexplicably uncomfortable.

"You've done a really great job getting to where you are today, Leshan," Deng Qiuxin patted Li Leshan on the shoulder with a sense of relief. Perhaps he was just being too demanding of himself, but not everyone can reach this position. "Don't always think about your shortcomings. Many people are proud of you."

Li Leshan's throat tightened, and he felt a tingling, electric current running through his heart, giving him a long-lost feeling of heart-wrenching pain.

Indeed, many people are proud of him. Wu Jinzhong and Zhang Fang still tell the next year about him as an inspiration, and his photo is still on the honor roll of Shishi High School and No. 1 High School. Even the usually strict Teacher Yin smiles when he mentions him.

But what if he said that he got to where he is today by stepping on other people's bodies? Would anyone still be proud of him or cheer for him? Can this kind of victory, which sacrifices others to achieve one's own goals, really be called a victory? ... In fact, he is not as amazing as people imagine.