Chapter 158 I graduated. He just kept walking forward, his back ramrod straight...

June 2017.

Li Leshan graduated from university at the age of twenty-two.

Summer arrived in Beijing with undeniable force. The leaves of the plane trees were glossy from the sun, and the cicadas chirped louder and louder, like a slightly noisy background symphony for the graduation season.

"Leshan—" Zhuang Jie wanted to hug his leg and cry his heart out, "I can't bear to part with you! Why didn't you go to graduate school?!"

He had a mournful face and an exaggerated expression.

“Why don’t you say you’re reluctant to part with me?” Xue Ang kicked Zhuang Jie. “I’m not going to pursue a master’s degree either. I don’t want to study anymore.”

"Can you compare to Leshan?" Zhuang Jie asked with a mournful face.

"I didn't even want to call you out on it," Xue Ang chuckled, trying to save him some face. "Are you afraid that once Leshan leaves, no one will run the physical tests for you anymore?"

That's true. During his four years of university, except for the physical fitness test he did himself in his freshman year, Li Leshan did it for him for the other three years. And the time Zhuang Jie ran the 1000 meters on his own, he took a full six minutes and collapsed at the finish line. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought the starting gun had hit his leg.

Li Leshan decided against pursuing a master's degree. Although he was indeed well-suited to spending all his time in the lab doing research and writing papers, and pursuing an academic career, he thought it over for a long time and realized that this wasn't what he wanted. He also wanted to become self-reliant and settle down as soon as possible. He didn't want to continue that kind of drifting, homeless life.

“You’ll probably stay in Beijing to work, right?” Zhuang Jie asked quickly, “Then we can get together again.”

Li Leshan pondered for a moment, then shook his head in response to Zhuang Jie's pleading gaze.

Seeing that Zhuang Jie's expectations had been dashed, he smiled at Zhuang Jie in a consoling manner and typed on his phone, "If you want to get together with me in the future, I will go."

Zhuang Jie stared at the words on his phone for two seconds, feeling no comfort whatsoever, but rather even more resentful. "So if I don't organize it, are you going to come and play with me on your own initiative?"

He started making a fuss again, and Li Leshan smiled helplessly, turning to ask Xue Ang, "Are you staying in Beijing after graduation?"

Xue Ang shook his head with a smile, his mouth widening to reveal a set of white teeth. "The Northeast is waiting for me to revitalize it. But..." He deliberately dragged out his words, looking at Li Leshan mischievously, "If you stay in Beijing, then I'll consider it."

Li Leshan laughed too; he knew Xue Ang was joking and teasing him.

Xue Ang's idea of ​​returning to Northeast China had been brewing for a long time. To contribute to the development of his hometown, he studied diligently and came to this truly prestigious university. It's said that for a child from Northeast China, coming-of-age is like getting a train ticket south. Indeed, he had spent four years away, seen all the sights he wanted to see, and learned all the knowledge he needed to learn. It was time to go back.

“Seriously, come to my house sometime,” Xue Ang looked at him, his joking tone gone, and said seriously, “I’ll take you to the Ice and Snow World. We’ll see ice sculptures, ride sleds, and experience what a real winter is like.”

Li Leshan smiled and nodded.

The setting sun slanted into the corridor, its light falling on Li Leshan's shoulders. He packed his luggage, ready to leave the school, and stood at the door waving goodbye to the three of them, just as he had stood in the same place four years ago to wave and greet them.

Four years passed in the blink of an eye. He took one last look at the dormitory furnishings. With Zhuang Jie's tearful gaze and Xue Ang and Li Cheng's smiling eyes, Li Leshan couldn't help but feel a little emotional.

He recalled how Zhuang Jie and Li Cheng would always find various reasons to take him around the surrounding area when he first arrived and was unfamiliar with the place, in order to help him get acquainted with the environment; he recalled how Xue Ang even went to learn sign language so that he could communicate more easily with his roommates... He recalled many, many past events, which made him never regret coming to Beijing to study at university.

Li Leshan took a deep breath, turned around, faced his three roommates in the dormitory, and stood up straight. Then, under the watchful eyes of Zhuang Jie, who was still rambling on, Xue Ang, and Li Cheng, he bowed deeply and solemnly to them.

He looked up and said in clear, slow sign language, "Thank you all for your care and understanding over the past four years. Goodbye."

The group looked at each other, none of them speaking first. They all looked up at the sky, blinking their eyes, afraid that tears would fall, and also afraid that if they finished speaking, they would linger and delay Li Leshan's journey.

Li Leshan glanced at them one last time, then quietly closed the door, leaving as silently as he had come. He walked along the road leaving the school, the setting sun casting a long shadow on his shoulders. He walked step by step on this precious land, looking up at the distant skyscrapers. Those skyscrapers stood side by side, reaching straight into the clouds.

Beijing has no shortage of skyscrapers. Li Leshan once dreamed of working there, hoping that this land might offer him a place to call his own. He used to gaze up at the buildings for a long time, as if some kind of magic drew him to stop and stare. But now, he can finally look away calmly, even with a touch of relief.

He walked to the school gate and stopped under the shade of a tree. As if possessed, he took out his phone and opened the text message interface, which had almost become a one-man show. There was no audience below, and he was the only actor on stage, talking to himself, performing a silent play without applause.

"Happy graduation, I've graduated."

He slowly typed out the message and sent it.

After a long pause, as if he had exhausted a great deal of energy, he added another question, this time with more questions and with greater caution:

"How have you been these past few years? Are you happy now? I've gone back to work in Shengping."

After the message was successfully sent, he gripped his phone tightly, his fingertips turning slightly white from the force. He was looking down and didn't notice that he bumped into a classmate walking towards him. The girl's pile of books fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Sorry, sorry," the female student quickly said. When she saw Li Leshan's face clearly, her face instantly turned red, the blush extending all the way to the back of her ears.

Li Leshan squatted down to help her pick up the books when he suddenly heard a "ding" sound. A crisp text message notification rang out abruptly, like a pebble thrown into a calm lake, stirring up a tidal wave in his heart.

He quickly stood up, returned the book to the female classmate, and his heart was pounding.

Is it China Unicom or China Mobile? Which operator? Is it sending blessings again? Li Leshan didn't know. He had a premonition in his heart. He took out his phone with trembling hands and entered the wrong password twice because of his shaking hands.

He took a deep breath, almost holding it, and opened the text message interface.

The name he repeatedly murmured during sleepless nights and tossing and turning appeared prominently in the sender field of the latest message.

He replied.

He actually replied.

The person who had kept him tossing and turning countless times finally replied to his message. News of an old friend finally arrived from afar, or perhaps from some unknown place.

Three whole years have passed without a word. What would he say? Would he tell us about his current situation? Would he explain what exactly happened back then? Where had he been for three years? Where is he now? If possible, could they meet again? Even after all these years, Li Leshan still doesn't quite understand what happened back then. He doesn't understand why, but he wants to ask Jiang Yueming if someone bullied her.

In those few dozen seconds, Li Leshan had exhausted all his thoughts. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but he didn't know where to begin or how to bring them up.

He clicked on the message with trembling hands.

"Dear, my number is newly issued, the person you are looking for may have changed their number."

The world seemed to be muted the moment Li Leshan saw those words. All the noise—the cicadas' chirping, the traffic, the voices—vanished. Li Leshan's hand froze in mid-air. He stood there for a long time, unaware of how much time had passed. It felt as if something inside him had exploded with a "bang," shattering him into pieces.

He knew perfectly well that these things had nothing to do with him anymore, yet he remained stagnant. If even this couldn't get him to contact Jiang Yueming, if even this last and most stubborn means of communication became completely ineffective, then there would truly be nothing left between him and Jiang Yueming.

From then on, on this vast land of over 9.6 million square kilometers, unless fate arranges an extremely accidental, almost impossible street encounter, they will never meet again.

Li Leshan felt as if his throat was blocked by a wad of water-soaked cotton, both swollen and painful. He looked up at the clear blue sky of Beijing in June, the sunlight stinging his eyes.

This feeling of being unable to express it or swallow it down is truly unbearable. He has experienced this feeling of something stuck in his throat too many times, and he really doesn't want to go through it again.

He lowered his head, his fingers trembling, and typed each word in the reply box: "I'm sorry... I disturbed you."

He paused for a moment, then added, "It won't happen again."

This string of numbers, which he knew by heart and could recite backwards, the number he had repeatedly rubbed against in countless late nights, the number that held all his longing and hope, was finally, after seven years of persistence, forcibly and utterly uprooted from his memory.

If even this last trace is erased, then where can we find evidence of the existence of that vibrant, passionate, bittersweet youth that he and Jiang Yueming once shared?

Li Leshan didn't know, he really didn't know.

He raised his head, his gaze passing over the noisy crowd at the school gate, past his peers who were holding flowers, embracing, crying, or laughing, and looking further into the distance. The streets were bustling with traffic, and the pulse of the city vibrated powerfully beneath his feet.

Li Leshan tightened his grip on his backpack, which contained his degree certificate, the fruits of his four years of hard study, and all the resilience and silence of his twenty-two years of life. Then, he took a step forward.

He no longer looked back at the familiar school gate, nor did he search for an impossible figure in the crowd. He simply walked forward, his back ramrod straight, like a tree that had grown strong in the wind and rain.