Chapter 170 Say I'm Brave "Actually, I'm really not in pain, just hug me..."

After the emotional exchange, the two stared at each other for a long time. In this situation, could it be said that everything was understood without words? In any case, Jiang Yueming felt that he couldn't get enough of looking at each other. He wanted to see everything he hadn't seen in the past few years to make up for it all.

Looking back now, how could I have been so heartless as to leave Li Leshan? How could I have chosen that path? How could I have felt like I had become a burden to him? There are some things I just can't understand. Because time can't be turned back, he can't go back a few years to question himself about what he was thinking back then.

Jiang Yueming stared for a while, then felt embarrassed and quietly glanced away, noticing that Li Leshan's hand twitched.

As soon as Li Leshan extended his hand, Jiang Yueming assumed he wanted to shake hers, so she quickly and eagerly offered her hand in return.

The next second, Li Leshan's hand landed on the hem of Jiang Yueming's clothes, and then, to Jiang Yueming's shock, his hand lifted up his clothes.

This...this...

What are you doing? Jiang Yueming was completely bewildered. We just finished being sentimental, and now you're lifting up his clothes? Although it wasn't that he was unwilling... to be honest, he was extremely willing, but the problem was, this didn't fit Li Leshan's style at all.

Of course, none of Jiang Yueming's wild thoughts came true. Li Leshan simply lifted a small part of his clothes and stared at the wound on his waist and abdomen for a closer look.

Jiang Yueming followed his gaze downwards and finally realized that she had been overthinking things. Who knew he actually wanted to marry her off directly?

He took Li Leshan's hand a little embarrassedly and pulled down his clothes. These were old injuries from so long ago that, to be honest, he would have forgotten about them if Li Leshan hadn't lifted them up today.

I really didn't expect Li Leshan to still remember, I really... I didn't expect him to still remember. He can't have held a grudge for so many years, can he?

“Lele,” Jiang Yueming squeezed his hand tighter, her tone softening, “It’s really nothing, it happened so many years ago, I’ve long forgotten about it.”

To this day, he can't remember exactly what it looked like back then, or how much he had mentally prepared himself. Even though the wound was on his own body, he has forgotten the pain when the knife was stabbed in. Ironically, he doesn't remember his own injury at all, but he is still thinking about the wound on Li Leshan's wrist.

He watched as the corners of Li Leshan's eyes slowly reddened, and he panicked a little. Jiang Yueming hurriedly spoke up, so anxious he wanted to unleash a series of punches, "Lele, it's okay, it's all...it's all over."

No matter what, those days are over. Besides, one of the people involved is dead, and the other has forgotten. Perhaps only Li Leshan will remember them, and perhaps he still feels that he was hurt because of him.

“You, you’re so, so stupid…” Li Leshan looked at him, his hands trembling. In fact, he still didn’t dare to think about it. When Li Yong told him the truth, he was in so much pain that he was almost delirious. He couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it, but had no choice but to believe it.

“Oh dear,” Jiang Yueming chuckled, slowly snuggling into Li Leshan’s arms, resting his head on his shoulder, and whispering, “Lele, don’t call me silly.”

He was truly fine a long time ago, and everything he did was entirely voluntary; he hadn't regretted a single thing. If there was anything he regretted, it really wasn't; he would have regretted not doing it. Jiang Yueming felt that nothing could have been more worthwhile than ensuring Li Leshan could spend his senior year of high school peacefully.

He gently took Li Leshan's left hand, his fingertips tracing the scars on his wrist. Jiang Yueming remembered something and suddenly felt a lump in his throat. He suppressed a sob and murmured to himself, "Call me brave."

He leaned against Li Leshan's chest, feeling the man's heartbeat. Never before had he felt more at peace than now. He didn't know how long it had been since he had felt this way. Sometimes, he felt that "nostalgia" couldn't be described simply. To put it more elegantly, it was like being heartbroken, unable to bear the thought. Although that didn't seem quite so elegant.

He was truly the bravest. Li Leshan nodded, lowered his head slightly, and gently kissed Jiang Yueming's hair.

Sensing his movement, Jiang Yueming looked up at him and saw the obvious heartache in his eyes. A warm feeling welled up in her heart. "Lele, you too."

Li Leshan looked at him with some confusion.

"You will always be the bravest and most capable person in my heart." Jiang Yueming said from the bottom of his heart. He had never recognized anyone so much before. Li Leshan was the first person he recognized from every angle, and he had recognized him from the bottom of his heart for more than ten years.

When he was a child, he was the best kid in Jiang Yueming's heart; when he grew up, he was the best adult in Jiang Yueming's heart.

"Actually, I'm not in pain at all. Just give me a hug and I'll feel better," Jiang Yueming said. He was telling the truth, without a doubt.

He leaned against Li Leshan's chest, Li Leshan's arms around his waist. For some reason, he felt sleepiness slowly creeping up on him again. Perhaps it was because the scene was so peaceful and serene. Finally, at this moment, he no longer felt anything chasing him closely behind him.

In the past few years of working away from home, I haven't had a full night's sleep. To earn more money, I've worked myself to the bone, doing anything and everything, just to make more money. My days and nights are completely filled with nothing but making money.

It seems like earning a little more can make up for the mistakes I made due to my impulsiveness. I've exhausted myself to the point where I don't want to think about anything anymore. There are some things that I can't figure out no matter how hard I try. The key is that even though I know I can't figure them out, I still keep thinking about them. The more I think about them, the more confused I become. That's how people are. In the end, they get caught up in some corner and can't get out anymore.

Only now, in Li Leshan's arms, could Jiang Yueming finally seem to get a good night's sleep. He no longer needed sleeping pills or alcohol to numb his mind, nor did he need to exhaust himself. He had once thought his life would be buried in that damp little town forever; he truly had once thought he would live like that forever.

He leaned against Li Leshan's chest and had a long-awaited dream. Unlike his previous bizarre and confusing dreams, and unlike those that broke his heart and jolted him awake, this one was much calmer, and not only calmer, but also much clearer.

He dreamt of his childhood, when he was very, very young. Back then, he was truly carefree, without a care in the world. The only problem he might have been figuring out was what to eat the next day.

Everything in the dream was familiar, carrying a touch of the unique colors of the early 2000s. The Lijiang Bridge, the skating rink, Xiaobai... all those things that had disappeared with the passage of time reappeared before me.

He walked on the bridge, his hand touching the familiar bridge pillars, feeling the texture of the cement against his palm. Everything felt so real, and it must have felt real, because he had truly experienced it all.

And then what… Jiang Yueming looked up, the setting sun shining brightly in his eyes. He had to shake himself off and look again. There were two teenagers walking side by side on the bridge, and a small dog not far away.

This scene is so heartwarming; I don't know how long it's been since I've seen it.

As he looked at the boy, he suddenly felt a strong sense of familiarity. Jiang Yueming ran over quickly, and as the boy's figure drew closer, he couldn't help but feel nervous.

Just as her hand was about to land on the boy's shoulder, it suddenly missed. Jiang Yueming stared blankly at her hand frozen in mid-air, and then watched the two of them walk further and further away.

He stood there, feeling a blur before his eyes.

"Jiang Yueming—" In a daze, the boy turned around, cupped his hands to his mouth like a megaphone, and looked back across a full decade at the age of thirteen. "How does it feel to grow up! What will the world be like in the future!"

What is it like to grow up? What will the world be like in the future...? He didn't answer, but subconsciously looked at Li Leshan beside him. Li Leshan was still the same as he remembered, with bright eyes looking at him quietly, and a smile on his lips.

"Jiang Yueming—hurry up—"

For the first time, Jiang Yueming found his chatter incredibly annoying. He had no time to reply, his attention completely focused on Li Leshan. These opportunities didn't come often; he'd grown up and could never see his childhood self again. Where else could he see him if not in a dream?

“Go see the world for yourself,” Jiang Yueming shouted back.

"Will things be good when I grow up? Will I be happy? Will Lele and I be happy?!"

Upon hearing this question, Jiang Yueming froze, his heart suddenly pounding. He glanced hastily at Li Leshan. This question... how was he supposed to answer it? Was he happy? Was Li Leshan happy?

If getting to where I am today inevitably involves experiencing hardship, the loss of loved ones, and pain... even so, after suffering so much and enduring so much pain, can happiness ultimately replace it all?

If I say that, will Lele blame me in the future? Will he blame me for lying to him, saying that life isn't as good or as happy as it seems when we grow up?

Seemingly not hearing Jiang Yueming's reply, the boy on the other end stopped worrying and continued shouting loudly, his voice growing fainter and fainter, "Hey—Jiang Yueming! I'm very happy now... Lele and I are very happy! You must be happy in the future too!"

The boy had barely finished speaking when Jiang Yueming jolted awake from his dream. Tears welled in his eyes as he instinctively searched for Li Leshan's figure.

Li Leshan also fell asleep peacefully, leaning on his shoulder.

He finally realized that he had just had a short dream. He reached out and slowly touched Li Leshan's cheek, felt the warmth, and realized that everything in front of him was real.

The moon outside the window still shone its light through the glass.

Jiang Yueming followed the light and saw the moon hanging high in the sky. He reached out and grasped Li Leshan's hand. Regarding the question Jiang Yueming had asked in his dream, he thought that perhaps he could answer it now.

You will be happy, you and Lele will both be happy. Even if this happiness comes with some hardship... maybe not just a little, but as long as you get through this hardship, you will be happy afterward.

Feeling the warmth from Jiang Yueming's palm, Li Leshan slowly opened his eyes. He looked at Jiang Yueming and asked with some confusion, "What's wrong?"

“I had a dream.” Jiang Yueming leaned on his shoulder again.

"What dream?"

"A...very good dream."