Chapter 36 The Guide: "Don't make me cry."

Jiang Yueming stood there, stunned.

Li Leshan used sign language again, this time more clearly, to say, "I didn't throw away that test paper."

He blinked and said "Oh." He stood up from the trash heap; it turned out Li Leshan hadn't thrown it away at all. So what had he been searching for all this time? Something that didn't even exist…

He should have realized that Li Leshan wouldn't throw it away.

After saying goodbye to his grandmother, he followed Li Leshan out of the scrap yard.

The two walked one after the other, remaining silent in tacit agreement. Jiang Yueming walked behind, his head down, still reeling from the scene that had just unfolded.

"How...how did you find this place?" Jiang Yueming asked after walking a short distance. Judging from Li Leshan's appearance earlier, he must have spent quite a while looking for him. How did he end up at the scrap yard?

Li Leshan turned around and slowly walked up to Jiang Yueming, walking alongside him. "Aunt Cuiqin is very worried about you. She said she only knows that you went out, but she doesn't know why you haven't come back for so long."

Jiang Yueming hadn't expected it to be so difficult, nor had he expected himself to be so persistent. His original plan was to search for a while and then give up if he couldn't find it, but who knew that the search would last almost a whole day, so it was understandable that Lin Cuiqin was worried.

"Where did you look for me?" Jiang Yueming asked.

Li Leshan said he didn't look in many places. He went to the Li River, the bridge, the vegetable market, and several places Jiang Yueming frequented, as well as the Zhonghua Market.

The scrap yard was his last destination. Recalling Jiang Yueming's strange behavior yesterday, Li Leshan had this suspicion. Although he told himself it was impossible, he still quickened his pace and hurried over there.

Jiang Yueming did look quite disheveled, after all, he had spent the entire day entangled with trash. His blue and white school uniform had turned somewhat grayish from all the fuss.

Li Leshan was sitting very close to him, shoulder to shoulder. Jiang Yueming suddenly remembered something and hurriedly said, "Stay away from me, I must smell awful."

He spent the entire day at the garbage dump, rummaging through the trash. Jiang Yueming lowered his head, sniffed his collar, and frowned.

Li Leshan remained silent.

“Then I’ll stay away from you,” Jiang Yueming said. He thought Li Leshan hadn’t heard him, or perhaps he thought that staying away from him wouldn’t hurt him. Of course not. He himself was disgusted with himself now, so he had no reason to demand that Li Leshan stay so close to him.

As soon as Jiang Yueming finished speaking, he tried to back away. He had only taken one step and hadn't even had time to react when Li Leshan suddenly pulled him back. The two of them collided.

“Big brother,” Jiang Yueming stood there, unable to move. He felt helpless and a little bitter. “I went into the garbage dump, not the chocolate factory.”

“I smell terrible and I’m filthy,” Jiang Yueming said.

Li Leshan shook his head.

"Fine, fine," Jiang Yueming had no other choice but to surrender. "I won't retreat, I won't retreat, just let go."

He feels he's not so stubborn anymore. There's someone even more stubborn standing right in front of him.

Li Leshan only reacted after hearing this. He released Jiang Yueming and stared at him for a while.

Jiang Yueming felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze. He casually rubbed his hand on his pants and asked, "Do you think I'm particularly stupid?"

Before Li Leshan could reply, or perhaps Jiang Yueming didn't intend for Li Leshan to reply, he asked and answered himself, "You must think I'm stupid."

"I feel stupid too. Just... just for a test paper, I spent hours rummaging through the trash." Jiang Yueming recalled the scene of rummaging through the trash just now, and suddenly felt her eyes sting with tears. "What exactly was in that test paper?"

He countered with a question to Li Leshan.

Li Leshan stopped and looked at Jiang Yueming's slightly reddened eyes, his gaze slowly falling on his hands, which were scratched from searching for things.

He suddenly reached out and ruffled Jiang Yueming's hair. It would have been better if he hadn't touched it, because as soon as he did, Jiang Yueming felt tears welling up in his eyes and he quickly turned his head away from Li Leshan, but he couldn't escape this person.

“You’re not stupid.” Li Leshan gestured to him, pointing at Jiang Yueming, making a fist with one hand and extending the thumb upwards, while the other hand’s five fingers came together, the fingertips touching his forehead, moving outwards as he released his hand, “You’re so smart, so amazing, so brave.”

Jiang Yueming was stunned. He didn't respond. Suddenly, he turned halfway around to face the wall, where the trumpet creeper was still swaying gently in the wind. He couldn't face Li Leshan right now because he really wanted to cry. If hitting the wall could stop his tears, Jiang Yueming would just want to bang his head against it.

Is this intentional? How did this person suddenly become so eloquent, and speak so... Where did that cold and aloof Li Leshan go?

"Don't make me cry," Jiang Yueming said, still facing the wall. Anyone else would probably think he was being bullied by the wall.

His lifelong reputation cannot be ruined like this! I must hold back my tears, I must hold back!

If you don't look at Li Leshan, you can't see what he's saying or his face. Jiang Yueming stared at the cold red wall for a while before finally recovering.

"Let's go home," Li Leshan said.

Jiang Yueming nodded and followed behind Li Leshan, his nose twitching. He wondered how old he was... well, actually he was still a child.

Li Leshan took him home. Now that Jiang Yueming is like this, he probably can't go home first. Lin Cuiqin will definitely ask him all sorts of questions when she sees him like this, and he doesn't want Lin Cuiqin to worry.

Li Leshan told him to call Aunt Cuiqin first when he got home, so as not to make her worry.

Li Leshan has a red landline at home, which he doesn't use often. Because he has few relatives, he almost never makes phone calls, and since he can't speak, he can only listen, so the landline just sits at home collecting dust.

Grandma wasn't home; she'd gone out. Jiang Yueming peeked through the door, then looked down at his drab gray school uniform, agonizing over his choice for a moment.

Li Leshan sensed that he hadn't followed, turned around, and looked at Jiang Yueming with a puzzled expression. He gestured to Jiang Yueming to come along.

Li Leshan found him a clean short-sleeved shirt and shorts. Jiang Yueming realized that Li Leshan only had a few styles of clothes, and the colors were mostly the same: white, black, and maybe a gray one. This was completely different from Han Jiang's wardrobe, which was filled with all sorts of colors, except for dresses.

There seemed to be a skirt too, but Jiang Yueming couldn't remember why. It was during a kindergarten talent show; Han Jiang's dress had been mistakenly ordered as a girl's, so he was forced to wear it on stage. He cried for a long time, his cries echoing throughout the alley. Jiang Yueming suggested that Han Jiang swap clothes with him, and he would wear the girl's dress. Han Jiang was incredibly moved, but in the end, the kindergarten teacher borrowed a boy's outfit from the neighboring class. Although it was a bit too short, Han Jiang wore it anyway.

“Take off your clothes,” Li Leshan signified, “I’ll wash them for you.”

Jiang Yueming read the first half of the sentence and was about to take off her coat when she hurriedly said, "No, no, this is a school uniform. Just throw it away."

His clothes were so dirty they looked like they'd rolled around in a garbage dump three times. Whether they could be washed clean or not was another matter; getting them really clean would be a huge hassle, so he couldn't possibly let Li Leshan wash them for him.

Li Leshan shook his head and said it was nothing, insisting on handing the clean clothes to Jiang Yueming.

Li Leshan's clothes are always a little too big, because bigger clothes can last for two more years, so he doesn't need to buy new clothes all the time. Jiang Yueming is a little taller than him, so they fit her perfectly. If they were Han Jiang's clothes, they would definitely not fit properly; they would probably be half a head too short, maybe even down to his navel.

In the bathroom, Li Leshan stood under the showerhead and explained to Jiang Yueming which side was on and which was off. Logically, Li Leshan didn't need to explain; Jiang Yueming could figure it out by herself. But he was worried that Jiang Yueming wouldn't be able to figure it out.

Jiang Yueming listened attentively, holding the clothes beside him. The shower at Li Leshan's house was different from the one at home. The bathroom was a small cubicle, which was fine for the two of them now, but it would probably be difficult to fit in if it got any bigger.

He squatted down to help Jiang Yueming clean up the things next to the floor, and told him which one was shampoo and which one was shower gel.

"Oh...oh." Jiang Yueming nodded.

Li Leshan suddenly stood up. The two of them standing face to face were indeed a bit cramped. After all, this bathroom, which looked a little less than half a meter wide, had to accommodate two boys. Jiang Yueming was startled and leaned back against the wall.

Suddenly feeling something strange on his head, Jiang Yueming looked up and saw Li Leshan's hand pressing against the partition between his head and the items. Without Li Leshan's hand, Jiang Yueming's head would have made close contact with the metal frame.

"Hiss." Jiang Yueming quickly left the spot. He pulled Li Leshan's hand over and looked at it. Due to the sudden impact, there was already a red mark on the back of his hand.

"Are you alright?!" Jiang Yueming asked.

Li Leshan rubbed the back of his hand on his pants, shook his head, smiled at Jiang Yueming, then pointed behind him with his thumb slightly bent, indicating that he was leaving and that the dirty clothes could be left aside.

As the door closed, Jiang Yueming felt a strange unease. He had never washed his own clothes before, but Lin Cuiqin wouldn't let him, always saying he couldn't wash them properly and it was too much trouble. In truth, Jiang Yueming knew that Lin Cuiqin simply felt sorry for him and didn't want him to do any work.

Jiang Yueming didn't know why Li Leshan was doing this. If the last time he helped him wash clothes was because Jiang Yueming had hit Wang Hao for him, then this time, Jiang Yueming didn't know why. Even if it was because of that exam paper, Jiang Yueming had gone to find it voluntarily, he had voluntarily dug it out of the garbage dump, it had nothing to do with Li Leshan.

The water was dripping down on him, making it hard for him to open his eyes.

Jiang Yueming also managed to see the 2006 mock exam paper from Tieta Primary School. He took it home and placed it on top of his desk, saying he would use it for calligraphy practice later, as he still had some tracing paper left.

At that age when children shyly express themselves, he never imagined his name would appear so openly and boldly on the composition paper, so neat and orderly. It filled three whole pages, more than Jiang Yueming wrote in three compositions. So much that Jiang Yueming couldn't read it all, couldn't understand it.

He carefully placed the three pages on his desk, never putting them back in his book. He was a carefree person; anything he handled today might be lost tomorrow. In short, for him, everything was summed up in one word: "throw away."

Much later, when Jiang Yueming recalled this essay, his mindset and thinking had undergone a complete transformation. He had shed his naivety and matured, and only then did he truly understand what Li Leshan had written when he was a child.

He said he wasn't walking alone; he was being guided forward by the bright moon.

That bright moon was his guide.

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Author's Note: Xiaoyue: Don't make me cry TTTT