Chapter 65 Riddled with Holes "You all pity me, don't you?"...

At the only main entrance of the Zhonghua Market, the crowd gradually dispersed like the receding tide, leaving behind a mess of vegetable leaves, plastic bags, and damp stains. The air was filled with the pungent smells of fish, the greasiness of cooked food, and a stale, musty odor unique to the market after a long day.

At 8:30 p.m., the roller shutters in the market were pulled down most of the way, making a jarring "clattering" sound. All the shops that could be closed were closed. Generally, no one lives in the market; their homes are in the nearby old town.

Jiang Yueming squatted listlessly on the curb outside the market gate. The aroma of roasted chestnuts wafted over from afar, and he swallowed hard, eagerly awaiting Li Leshan's arrival.

He'd be incredibly surprised, and then you could tell him that you could start working with him tomorrow. Li Leshan would be the cashier, while Jiang Yueming would be standing at the counter promoting the goods. With his silver tongue, he was a master salesman, and his sales would definitely crush the stall next door!

Amidst the throng of people, Jiang Yueming finally spotted Li Leshan. He hurriedly stood up, suddenly feeling a wave of dizziness. But he had no time to dwell on it, quickly weaving through the crowd and waving to Li Leshan.

"Lele! Lele, I'm here!" Jiang Yueming called out.

Hearing the sound, Li Leshan looked up, his steps seemed to pause for a moment, before he slowly approached. The dim streetlights shone on his face, and Jiang Yueming's heart skipped a beat.

Something's not right.

Something seems off.

For some reason, Jiang Yueming felt that he was particularly tired, which was different from usual.

"Is work tiring?" Jiang Yueming asked cautiously. "You can't sit down all the time, can you? Are there always so many people?"

Even so, Sister Xiuli said she wasn't tired, but she's exhausted. Jiang Yueming thought to herself.

He reached out to pat Li Leshan's shoulder, but the other man subtly dodged him. Jiang Yueming's hand froze in mid-air, somewhat stunned. Li Leshan didn't react in any other way, but simply looked up and gave him a deep look.

The way home involves passing through an area on the outskirts of the market, near the city's edge, where there are few people. The further you go, the sparser and dimmer the streetlights become, with low, cluttered bungalows and small workshops on both sides, their windows dark and empty, occasionally punctuated by the barking of dogs. Walking from Zhonghua Market to Third Alley takes almost half an hour, but cycling reduces that time by half, and it's not particularly slow.

“I didn’t ride my bike today,” Jiang Yueming’s voice sounded a little dry in the empty space. “We’ll commute to and from get off work together tomorrow, so we won’t have to walk. Lele, are you too tired to talk? Or… should I carry you?”

Li Leshan didn't react at all, just walked silently, his profile appearing particularly hard in the dim light.

"Are you hungry? Are you hungry after a long day at work? Does the supermarket provide meals?" Jiang Yueming was getting increasingly anxious, so she quickly changed the subject. While asking him, she was also trying to recall if she had heard anything about meals being provided from Sister Xiuli. "There seems to be a wonton stall at the intersection ahead that hasn't closed yet, maybe..."

Before he could finish speaking, the figure in front of him stopped abruptly. He turned around, his gaze almost calmly meeting Jiang Yueming's. Those usually gentle and serene eyes were now like two bottomless, icy pools, staring intently and relentlessly at Jiang Yueming's face.

For some reason, Jiang Yueming had a bad feeling, as if something was about to happen.

“The shoes…you bought them.” Li Leshan gestured, not as a question, but as a statement.

Jiang Yueming was stunned, then something suddenly occurred to her, and her mind went blank. Why would Li Leshan bring up something from so long ago now? How did he know about it? Did he contact his aunt? What did they talk about?

"Lele, let me explain. The shoes! It was my fault about the shoes! I... I didn't mean to lie to you! I just wanted Grandma to put them on quickly, I really didn't mean to keep it from you." Jiang Yueming explained hastily.

Seeing his flustered state, Li Leshan managed a very difficult and slow upward twitch of his lips.

"My monthly salary is now 700."

"Oh... seven hundred?" Jiang Yueming was somewhat incoherent. "That, isn't that great? Sister Xiuli... gave you a raise?"

Why are you still lying to me?

Why are you lying to me again?

Li Leshan felt a sudden jolt in his heart, as if it had been gripped and squeezed hard by an icy hand, causing him to feel dizzy and his vision to go black.

"You paid for it for me," Li Leshan said in sign language.

"I didn't!" Jiang Yueming denied it almost instinctively. He didn't know where Li Leshan had gotten that information, even though it was indeed true. Who told him? Was it from Sister Xiuli? Or did he just guess? Why would this happen?!

“It was like that before, the shoes, the medical expenses, and now the money I earn from working…” Li Leshan gave him a forced smile, a smile tinged with bitterness. “You always say I don’t have to pay it back.”

“You don’t think I’m good enough at all…” His gestures suddenly slowed down, carrying a heartbreaking heaviness and despair.

Suddenly, Jiang Yueming's mind went completely blank.

"What do you mean?" Jiang Yueming asked hurriedly, "I didn't mean that! I didn't ask you to pay me back!"

"Yes!" Li Leshan signed with extreme decisiveness, very neat and without any hesitation, "Because you think I can't pay it back at all, so you never thought about making me pay it back."

He meticulously recorded every single expense, only to struggle and overturn it all one late night. Li Leshan finally convinced himself that he could only repay his aunt's share; he couldn't repay the portion Jiang Yueming had given him.

Because returning it would be a betrayal, returning it would mean drawing a clear line...

But he never considered paying it back himself, because the other party simply didn't think they could afford it. He owed too much, so much that he had no idea how to repay it...

During the day, the smell of dust and musty cardboard boxes seemed to rise from the warehouse again. Xiuli's voice, laced with "goodwill" and "self-aggrandizement," echoed sharply and amplified in his ears. It still lingered there, those words so lightly tearing open the wounds Li Leshan had hidden for so long, leaving them riddled with holes.

“I know I’m mute,” Li Leshan said, his eyes reddening. “I can’t speak, I can’t say a word, I know all that, but in my heart I consider myself an ordinary person. I feel that I’m no different from you or them!”

"What they can do, I can do too!" Li Leshan's heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was about to jump out of his chest.

He stared intently into Jiang Yueming's eyes, his fingers trembling, almost desperately asking, "In your eyes, I'm first and foremost a mute, and only then Li Leshan. Is that right?"

"You...you all pity me, don't you?"

The air seemed to freeze for a moment.

Jiang Yueming had never felt the world so quiet before. He couldn't hear anything, only his heart pounding violently and painfully.

His lips were slightly parted, but no sound came out; somehow, it seemed he could no longer speak. Li Leshan's last gesture was like a red-hot iron, leaving a searing mark.

A tremendous, sharp pain suddenly gripped Jiang Yueming's heart, more powerful than any punch.

He wanted to shout, but his throat felt like it was blocked by a scalding fire, dry and painful. Resentment, anger, and confusion filled his heart.

He wanted to explain, he wanted to grab Li Leshan's arm and tell him it wasn't like that! He never intended to pity him! He just... he simply didn't want to see him working so hard, and wanted to share some of the burden...

"You really have to... think that way?" Jiang Yueming's words seemed to be uttered one word at a time.

"Do I really have to think this way?" A dull pain flashed in Li Leshan's eyes.

"Then what do you expect me to think?! What else can I think? Have I misunderstood you?"

"Yes!" Jiang Yueming clenched his fist, a surge of anger rising within him. He had given Li Leshan his share of the salary, but it wasn't much! Because Li Leshan needed the money more than he did. "I did give it! But it wasn't much! What did I do wrong?! What did I do wrong?"

"Why do you always reject my feelings and think like this?!" Jiang Yueming blurted out in an instant, without thinking, and he really didn't have time to think. "I kept it a secret because I was afraid you would overthink it, afraid you would mind. I was like a thief, hiding it from everyone! I just wanted to make things easier for you, to make you feel better. Was I wrong?! What did I do wrong?!"

Now that things have come to this, he's already been considerate enough, hasn't he? Was it his choice to keep it a secret? Did he really go to beg Sister Xiuli not to tell anyone? Yet he still thinks this way!

His mind was in such a state that he was incoherent.

He saw Li Leshan's clenched fist trembling violently at his side, his knuckles making a soft cracking sound from the force. He saw the bulging veins on Li Leshan's forehead, and a drop of sweat that slid down his temple, reflecting the dim light under the streetlamp.

Or is it just a single tear?

Jiang Yueming froze completely, unable to utter another word. His outstretched hand remained suspended in mid-air, maintaining a posture of wanting to approach but not daring to touch.

Li Leshan remained silent for a long time, and then looked at him again.

That last glance seemed to have exhausted all his strength. He turned around abruptly, his back ramrod straight, as stiff as a steel plate. He didn't look at Jiang Yueming again, nor did he use any more sign language.

He simply started walking, step by step, towards the direction of the third alley. His steps were heavy and steady, each one feeling like it was treading on Jiang Yueming's heart.

The boy's slender figure, in the dim light, was resolute and without a trace of lingering attachment, as if he were born to merge into this darkness, leaving behind only a shadow that grew smaller and smaller, more and more blurred.

Jiang Yueming remained frozen in place.

The night wind blew by, carrying the lingering stench of the market, making him feel a bone-chilling cold. He opened his mouth, staring at the empty street, and finally let out a broken, tearful gasp.

"...Lele?"

Only the wind responded to him.