Chapter 88 Sometimes I don't know what to do either. I'm not doing this on purpose...

Jiang Yueming carried a heavy bag of test papers and workbooks, but he couldn't bear to put it down. Taking advantage of the time he still had, he ran to queue up and bought a pie. It wasn't for himself; it was still warm, so Li Leshan could eat it when he came out.

Students gradually came out of the school gate. Jiang Yueming found a place to sit. He looked up at the "Three Good Students" photos on the wall again. So much time had passed, and the students had changed.

"This school doesn't even know how to advertise for free," Jiang Yueming thought. "Putting Li Leshan's handsome face on there would be so eye-catching."

He lowered his head, staring at the tips of his shoes again and again. Although the waiting time was a bit boring, Jiang Yueming felt that it was worth the wait no matter how long it took, just because he was going to see Li Leshan.

He didn't know how much time had passed when he suddenly heard Xu Qing's voice, clear and crisp. Because he didn't come to Shigao High School often, he hadn't seen Xu Qing for quite a while.

"Jiang Yueming?!" Xu Qing noticed him, thinking she was seeing things. She took a closer look and confirmed it was him. She quickly walked over to him, her voice filled with surprise, "What are you doing here?"

A few months later, Xu Qing's hair had grown a little longer, just past her shoulders. Compared to her somewhat arrogant personality, this hair made her look much more well-behaved.

“I’ll wait…” Jiang Yueming hesitated for a moment.

"Li Leshan, right?" Xu Qing guessed. He must be waiting for Li Leshan. She couldn't think of anyone else Jiang Yueming could be waiting for, since he had never waited for her or Han Jiang.

As she spoke Li Leshan's name, her expression became somewhat strange, which also stirred something within Jiang Yueming.

"He's not at school right now," Xu Qing said, a little puzzled. "Didn't he tell you?"

"Huh?" Jiang Yueming snapped back to reality, a little confused. "What do you mean?"

Xu Qing was also stunned. "He leaves right after evening self-study. He's been like this lately."

"You...don't know?" Xu Qing asked, feeling that it shouldn't be like this. Shouldn't Li Leshan tell Jiang Yueming first if anything happened?

"No, I don't know," Jiang Yueming replied after a long pause.

"He probably forgot to tell you." Xu Qing noticed his expression was a bit off and patted his shoulder. "Li Leshan seems really busy lately, busy with studying, exams, competitions and stuff..."

"How could he forget to tell me?" Jiang Yueming blurted out instinctively, then realized her tone was off and quickly changed her mind, saying it was nothing. She handed the pie in her hand to Xu Qing and prepared to leave, saying, "I'm leaving."

"Hey," Xu Qing said, touching the warm pie in her hand, not understanding what was going on. She quickly called out to his back, "Do you need to see him? Do you want me to pass on a message to him?"

"No—" Jiang Yueming's voice came through, "It's alright!"

Jiang Yueming rode his bike for quite a distance before stopping, his figure appearing particularly desolate under the streetlights. His mind was in turmoil, and he felt a bit awkward.

He didn't attend any of those extended hours services or training courses, and he wasn't at school either, so why didn't he tell me? Jiang Yueming had a series of questions to ask at this moment.

Why did you lie to me? He felt a chill in his heart. Li Leshan had never lied to him before, nor had he ever hidden anything from him. This was the first time, so much so that he was caught completely off guard and Jiang Yueming was caught off guard.

A few students in their school uniforms occasionally walked by, in groups or in twos and threes, a stark contrast to Jiang Yueming's solitary figure. He stared blankly ahead, inexplicably recalling Cao Fan's words.

Is he annoyed with me? Jiang Yueming wondered.

He got annoyed because I kept contacting him. So he always refused when I offered to wait for him.

Thinking about it that way, it does seem to make sense. Actually, Jiang Yueming also felt a bit annoyed. He would look for Li Leshan every few days, even though there was nothing in particular. This frequency was indeed annoying.

But he didn't do anything wrong. He was the one who rode across three bridges all the way from the Third High School to the Shishi High School, he was the one who rode over in the cold wind, and he was the one who waited outside. He wasn't complaining; Jiang Yueming did all of this willingly.

He sometimes felt tired, sometimes felt cold, and sometimes felt that the distance was too long, but no matter how tired, cold, or long it was, Jiang Yueming never thought of giving up. Even if it was just one meeting, even if it was just one glance, he would be willing.

So he simply doesn't want to see me anymore. Jiang Yueming pondered for a long time, took a deep breath, wiped her face, and gripped the handlebars of her bicycle tightly.

But Li Leshan could actually speak up; he could have said so, because Jiang Yueming listened to him completely. He told her not to look for him anymore, and Jiang Yueming really didn't look for him. But if it weren't for this exception, how much longer would he have been kept in the dark?

The phone screen remained on the screen where Jiang Yueming was texting Li Leshan. He edited the text, deleting and rewriting, but ultimately didn't send a single word. "I'd better not bother him," Jiang Yueming thought. Actually, he wasn't quite sure what to say either.

Looking through his text messages, Jiang Yueming realized that many of them were sent by him. He proactively asked Li Leshan if he had eaten, how he was doing, and if he had gone home... Li Leshan might think that he was just sending the same few words over and over, which was not very thoughtful and even a bit boring.

But this is actually what Jiang Yueming most wants to ask, and what he cares about most. He wants to know if he is eating well, living well, and sleeping well.

Jiang Yueming's eyes started to sting after staring at the screen for a long time.

"Lele, I miss you so much," Jiang Yueming thought to herself.

If longing is water, his world is flooded almost every day, the water flowing and flowing until it eventually submerges him.

I didn't mean to bother you, really.

Sometimes I don't know what to do either.

Lele, tell me, what should I do?

The secondhand smoke in the computer room was choking and giving me a headache, constantly filling my nostrils. Two exam papers lay in front of Li Leshan, his hand holding the pen motionless. He didn't know why, but he felt a tightness in his chest, a complex and indescribable feeling.

Li Leshan's phone suddenly vibrated. He glanced at the message and his heart tightened. It was from his grandmother, and there was only one blank space on it.

Because he was working the night shift at the internet cafe, Li Leshan couldn't even go home. Afraid that his grandmother would worry, he told her that the school had arranged something for him. When his grandmother heard that it was something from the school, she didn't say anything. He saved his phone number so that his grandmother could call him if she needed anything, but he hadn't taught her how to send text messages yet.

Li Leshan jumped up from his seat, his vision went black, and he felt dizzy for a moment.

He snapped out of his daze, walked into the store, and after making eye contact with Liu Yang, waved to him and called him over.

"What's wrong?" Liu Yang was still thinking about the deck of cards in his hand. He shouted at the card table, "Don't peek at my cards."

"I need to go home." Li Leshan took out his phone and typed.

Liu Yang leaned closer for a look and asked, "Is nothing wrong? If there is, tell me."

Li Leshan shook his head, and after receiving permission, he grabbed a coat and hurried home.

He was in a panic, not knowing what had happened at home. He called his grandmother, but she didn't answer. He rushed home as fast as he could, not even having time to park his car properly, and carelessly tossed it aside on the roadside. Li Leshan didn't have time to worry about whether it was hurt; he took a deep breath and ran up to the fifth floor without stopping.

The key wouldn't go in, and Li Leshan tried to control his trembling hands, his heart pounding faster than ever before.

It must be Li Yong.

Please, please don't let anything happen.

At that moment, only these two thoughts were on his mind.

The iron gate creaked open, and Li Leshan hurriedly went in, closed the door, and headed towards his grandmother's room. He almost tripped over his shoes by the door because he was walking too fast.

"Lele," Grandma's voice came from the darkened room. She sat on the edge of the bed, a hint of worry on her face, "Why are you back?"

She held Li Leshan's hand, unaware of what had happened. Li Leshan looked her up and down, and only breathed a sigh of relief after confirming that his grandmother was alright. He quickly took out the pen and paper he always carried in his pocket and wrote two large characters: "Message".

Grandma realized what had happened and slapped her thigh. "Oh dear, Grandma accidentally sent it out. Look how anxious you are. Grandma's fine."

Li Leshan was stunned. He slowly rested his forehead on her knees, his heart still pounding. He was terrified. He had considered almost every possible outcome on the way back, the worst and the worst. He didn't even know how he got back; he hadn't even looked at the road.

The air fell silent for a moment, with only the ticking of the old clock in the room.

"Then I'm leaving." Li Leshan pointed to the door and made a phone call gesture, indicating that his grandmother should call him if she needed anything.

"Lele," Grandma touched his face with trembling hands, her voice soft and a little hoarse, "Grandma thinks she's seeing things..."

Li Leshan's throat tightened, and his hands trembled involuntarily. "Who?"

Grandma hugged Li Leshan and patted his back. This scene reminded Li Leshan of many years ago. This scene was so familiar that he felt it was still vivid in his mind after all these years. He could not forget his grandmother's embrace, nor could he forget the harm that Li Yong had caused him.

“Lele, don’t be afraid, he hasn’t come out yet,” Grandma whispered. They both knew who she was referring to. Her tone was the same as ten years ago. Li Leshan felt as if the scene of the old woman and the little boy huddled in a corner watching Li Yong smash things was flashing before his eyes again. If he could, he truly didn’t want to relive it, didn’t want to keep thinking about these painful things, but he simply couldn’t forget. “Grandma is still here, Grandma will protect you…”

Li Leshan's eyes suddenly welled up with tears, and he felt his heart being squeezed. Listening to his grandmother's murmurs in his ear, he couldn't help but shed a tear.

His hands tightened, his nails digging deep into his palms. He knew Li Yong had been around the area again, perhaps intentionally, perhaps as a warning, perhaps for some other reason. But whatever the reason, he would protect his grandmother, even if it meant certain death; this time, he would never run away again.

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Author's Note: As a Jinjiang author, I never dare to sit down and have a drink with my readers. I'm afraid to see their deep eyes; their sighs are the things I fear most in my life, while their praise is what I crave most. Readers and I are like ruler and subject, lovers, rivals, brothers, and allies; only at the moment of updating the story do we truly become one and the other.