Chapter 90 I Don't Care About You "You...don't you have anything to do with me either..."

"What?" Jiang Yueming was a little confused, or rather, he couldn't believe it.

"Who is that person?" Jiang Yueming asked. Was it because of him that Li Leshan didn't want him to come? Or was it for some other reason? Was he planning to be upfront now? Was he simply unwilling to let him come to this place? Unwilling to let him appear before him? But what was the real reason?

“I don’t know,” Li Leshan gestured, indicating that he could only say he didn’t know, and what else could he say? “But do you think you’re looking for me because of something good?”

“But…” Jiang Yueming hurriedly explained, “Maybe he just got the wrong person? Do you have a grudge against someone or something…?”

“I don’t know…” Li Leshan looked at him, “I don’t know who he is, I don’t know what he wants to do, but I don’t want you to stand up for me, and I don’t want you to stand in front of me!”

He didn't know what Li Yong was up to, but he absolutely couldn't let Jiang Yueming have any contact with Li Yong. He couldn't drag Jiang Yueming into this mess, so Jiang Yueming couldn't come here. Who knew when Li Yong would show up at the school gate? Who knew when Li Yong would see them together? It was all uncertain, and he could only prevent that from happening.

"You don't want me to stand up for you? You don't want me to stand in front of you?" Jiang Yueming looked puzzled. He didn't understand. "So if something happens, I can only cower behind you and hide behind you?"

“These things have nothing to do with you!” Li Leshan frowned.

"Yes!" Jiang Yueming shouted, "None of that has anything to do with me! Then tell me, what does have anything to do with me?"

He was completely baffled. Why couldn't he understand what Li Leshan was saying? What was going on, and who did it concern? If even Li Leshan's affairs had nothing to do with him, then what did?!

Li Leshan stood still, his hands trembling slightly from being suspended in the air for so long.

"Tell me!" Jiang Yueming urged him to explain clearly. The doubts and confusion that had been building up inside him had finally exploded, causing him to blurt out, "What do you mean it has nothing to do with me? You... don't you have anything to do with me either?!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Li Leshan suddenly looked up, his eyes instantly turning slightly red, but because the surrounding environment was too dark, Jiang Yueming couldn't see it clearly.

"I don't want you to ride so far to see me all the time, I don't want you to wait at the school gate all the time, I don't want you to waste so much time just to see me once..."

“But I’m willing!” Before Li Leshan could finish signing, Jiang Yueming grabbed his shoulder, the boy’s bones pressing against his palm, his tone resolute, “I said, I’m willing!”

He doesn't care about all that nonsense, like long distances, long periods of time, or any other miscellaneous things. He doesn't care about any of that. He could wait in line his whole life and still not get a chance to care about these things. He's gone to such lengths that, in the end, it all boils down to one sentence: I'm willing!

"I can't take care of you!" Li Leshan gestured each word carefully. He had to go to school, he had to work, he had to deal with Li Yong, and he had to take care of his grandmother. He really, really couldn't be in two places at once.

He only had eight-minute breaks between classes and a twenty-minute lunch break each day. He really couldn't care less about Jiang Yueming, and he didn't want to hide it from her. He wanted to tell her that he was working to earn money to maintain their barely stable life; he wanted to tell her that he had a murderer as his father; he wanted to tell her that he was exhausted and terrified every day…

He wanted to speak, but he couldn't!

He asked, "What will Jiang Yueming do?" Li Leshan dared not think about the consequences. He would even rather Jiang Yueming stay away from him, the farther the better, so that she could successfully get into university and live a good life with her aunt Tian Tian.

In an instant, Jiang Yueming froze on the spot. His heart felt as if it had been shattered.

Sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger surged up from all directions in an instant, and no matter what I did, I couldn't dispel them. I never want to experience this kind of heartbreak again in my life.

A profound sense of helplessness swept over him. Jiang Yueming wanted to question, to get angry, he even wanted to turn around and leave, but he used all his strength to hold back and think it over and over again. In the end, he could only manage a bitter smile.

"I see……"

You finally said it, but actually you didn't care about me.

He didn't understand how much Li Leshan was carrying, how much exactly? Was it heavier than a mountain, deeper than a sea? What was weighing on him that made him unable to even take care of himself?

Or is it because he is too light, so light that he can be blown away by the wind?

Li Leshan was taken aback; there was no argument as he had imagined, and the atmosphere was much calmer than he had expected.

Having lived in an environment of constant arguments and beatings, Li Leshan was used to seeing pots and pans clattering to the ground and hearing heart-wrenching sounds. He didn't realize that the calm he felt at that moment wasn't true calm; it was even more serious than the arguments.

Li Leshan's expression softened. He wanted to take Jiang Yueming's hand, but stopped himself. "When I'm not busy, I'll come to see you often."

He smiled at Jiang Yueming again, "Don't find me annoying."

Once things calm down, once things stabilize, once Li Yong is no longer a threat, once things are resolved... Li Leshan felt that things would be quick. As long as he could reliably supply Li Yong with that money, he wouldn't do anything out of line, wouldn't go to his grandmother, and wouldn't try to take advantage of Jiang Yueming.

Waiting, waiting, waiting... and so it seemed that all that was left in his life was waiting.

Jiang Yueming remained silent for a long time before finally nodding.

"What were you two talking about that took so long?" Xu Qing said, a little annoyed. She wondered where the two of them had gone to whisper to each other for so long. "I've almost finished cutting the cake, and you didn't even see me blow out the candles."

"I saw it!" Han Jiang chuckled from the side.

"Of course you can see that you're using your lighter." Xu Qing turned around and happily picked up a piece of cake and handed it to Li Leshan. She even emphasized that this was the best piece cut and that she had specially saved it for Li Leshan.

Looking at Xu Qing's bright eyes and the hand holding the cake, Li Leshan seemed a little at a loss. He glanced slightly at Jiang Yueming, then smiled apologetically at Xu Qing, pointed at Jiang Yueming, and indicated that the cake should be given to him first.

"You eat it." Jiang Yueming turned her face away, her voice flat. "She specially cut it for you; it's her birthday today."

Upon hearing this, Li Leshan thanked Xu Qing and opened his hands to receive the cake from her.

“This is for you,” Xu Qing handed Jiang Yueming a large piece of fruit. “Tian Tian likes to eat fruit, so I put a lot on her cake. Remember to take it back for her to eat.”

Xu Qing looked at Li Leshan with a joyful expression. She was completely unaware of the strange unease in the air, as if something major had happened. After all, she was overwhelmed with joy and felt that everything in front of her was beautiful and radiant.

"Do you know what I wished for this year?" Xu Qing blinked. She didn't know who she was asking about; maybe all three of them had wishes, or maybe only Li Leshan.

"Be a little thinner, a little prettier?" Han Jiang guessed.

"Oh dear," Xu Qing felt a little embarrassed that her girlish thoughts had been touched, and hurriedly explained, "This one is also there, but it's not the most important one!"

“Because you make this wish every year,” Jiang Yueming said. For some reason, becoming prettier and thinner seems to be a common wish for most girls in their adolescence, and they don’t know how much they have sacrificed for this wish. Although Xu Qing is already very thin and beautiful, she is over 1.6 meters tall and weighs only 90 kilograms. Jiang Yueming said that she really felt that a gust of wind could blow her away, but she was still not satisfied and only ate a little bit of cake.

“There are others! Guess again!” Xu Qing said.

Han Jiang scratched his head and laughed, "I can't guess, but no matter what, I hope your wish comes true."

Xu Qing glanced quickly at Li Leshan, her heart pounding. Jiang Yueming, who witnessed the whole thing, knew perfectly well that she must have made a wish about Li Leshan this year.

"And you," Xu Qing nudged Jiang Yueming with her elbow, "you were so busy eating, didn't you even offer me your blessings?"

"Okay, best wishes." Taking advantage of his height, Jiang Yueming successfully ruffled Xu Qing's hair, but he felt apologetic in his heart. He couldn't wish Xu Qing's wish to come true, so he could only wish her eternal happiness. "Wishing our beautiful Xu... eternal happiness."

On their way home, Jiang Yueming and Li Leshan were almost completely silent. The most frequent sounds were the meows of passing cats and dogs.

Actually, it had been quite a long time since they had ridden their bikes home together like this. Sometimes time is really cruel; a year ago, neither of them could have imagined that they would be in this situation today. This hard-won journey home ended in silence.

"I'm home now, you should get some rest." Li Leshan parked his car downstairs at Jiang Yueming's house and gestured to him.

“Okay,” Jiang Yueming nodded, not even looking him in the eye, “Then I’ll go back.”

Li Leshan nodded, turned around, and instead of riding the bike, slowly pushed it forward.

Looking at Li Leshan's back, Jiang Yueming felt his vision gradually blurring. The twelve-year-old boy, who was still a bit thin, seemed to reappear here and overlap with the tall boy in front of him. Only his back was still slender and his spine was still straight.

It seems like something has changed, yet nothing has. What exactly has changed that makes Jiang Yueming feel something is shifting?

Jiang Yueming tried hard to suppress the urge to chase after Li Leshan's back until he could no longer see him. Only then did he turn around and slowly walk towards the stairwell.

The motion-activated lights in the building were still intermittently working; Jiang Yueming felt they had never worked at all. Surrounded by darkness and with no one else around, he finally no longer needed to suppress his trembling shoulders, and a soft sob echoed through the hallway.

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Author's Note: I admit this chapter is a bit angsty [poor face], so I'm here to apologize! (Kneels down heavily) Take all the beatings and scoldings, I will not argue back!

Lele has his reasons, I hope everyone won't blame him [poor face]. My adorable babies, don't leave me!