Chapter 92 People Like Him: "I wasn't that good to you either..."

There was about a stack of beer bottles scattered on the ground. Han Jiang drank and cried, crying until he was almost too weak to continue, for that unrequited love that lasted for ten years but had ended before it even began.

At first, Jiang Yueming just stayed with her, but later she also cried. In an instant, all the grievances and sadness of the past few days seemed to have finally found an outlet, and they all surged up.

"Why are you crying?" Han Jiang asked, puzzled. "I'm the one who's heartbroken."

Jiang Yueming felt dizzy, and everything in her vision was spinning. Actually, Han Jiang was just sitting there crying; he hadn't drunk much alcohol, but he had been drinking from beginning to end, and it was the alcohol that made him cry.

He forced a smile that looked more like a grimace, and muttered to himself, "At this rate, I'll be there soon too."

"Huh? What?" Han Jiang didn't understand, and he stopped worrying about it; he didn't have the energy to worry about it anymore. He reached out and touched the empty bottles on the ground, finally intending to have a drink, but as soon as he touched one empty bottle after another, the little bit of alcohol he had drunk suddenly became completely sober.

"What the hell? Are you crazy? How much the hell did you drink?" Han Jiang was stunned. He quickly shook Jiang Yueming.

Jiang Yueming followed him around, completely defenseless. He would cry for a while, then laugh for a while, and he kept saying "I miss you" without saying who he was thinking about.

"Who are you thinking about?" Han Jiang asked, puzzled. He quickly pulled him up from the ground, but he himself lost his footing and the two of them almost fell flat on their faces.

"I fucking miss you!" Jiang Yueming shouted, though it was unclear who he was blaming. "Why did you do this to me..."

"Who?! Who did this to you?" Han Jiang was startled by his shout and immediately sprang into action. "Don't blame me! Stop crying! How did I end up comforting you? What's going on here..."

The two sat on the ground and started comparing who was in worse shape. In comparison, they were each in their own way. He was at his wit's end; in his current state, getting himself home was a struggle. He couldn't care less about Jiang Yueming, so he frantically pulled out her phone and, after much deliberation, called Li Leshan. Right now, it seemed like no one else he could think of would still care about Jiang Yueming.

"Hello? Leshan... Um, Jiang Yueming, he, he," Han Jiang's voice was still thick with nasal congestion and sobs. He swallowed hard and mustered his courage to say, "He's drunk. He's at the school gate, at the entrance of Shishi High School. Can you come and pick him up?"

There was a two or three-second silence on the other end of the phone, and then the call was disconnected.

When Li Leshan arrived, the boy's chest heaved slightly, and a thin layer of sweat covered his forehead, clearly indicating that he had rushed there as quickly as possible. Jiang Yueming was leaning against the wall, hugging a wine bottle and crying. She hadn't finished crying yet; she thought that even after all this time, she could have cried the Great Wall down.

He exchanged a glance with Han Jiang, indicating that he would take Jiang Yueming back himself.

Han Jiang quickly clasped his hands together in thanks, his lips moving as if he wanted to say something. But seeing Li Leshan reminded him of his failed crush earlier that day, and he felt utterly humiliated. He felt a pang of sadness and couldn't stay any longer. So, pathetically, he cried and ran away, wiping away his tears.

Why are one or two people crying?

Li Leshan stood there for two seconds, the evening breeze ruffling the slightly damp strands of hair on his forehead. He slowly walked over and squatted down in front of Jiang Yueming, waving his hand in front of her eyes. "Do you know who I am?"

Jiang Yueming opened his eyes wide and looked around, his vision blurry but focused. He was stunned for a moment, then hugged Li Leshan tightly, buried his head in his shoulder, and said in a muffled voice, "I don't know."

"Can you still understand what I'm saying?" Li Leshan moved away from him and used sign language.

"Nod if you understand."

Jiang Yueming nodded.

Li Leshan parked his bicycle at the school gate. Since the drunk Jiang Yueming couldn't ride, he cleaned up the scattered bottles on the ground and threw them into a nearby trash can. After finishing all this and cleaning up the mess, he turned his back to Jiang Yueming, bent his knees, and squatted down.

Li Leshan turned around, waved, and gestured for Jiang Yueming to lie down on him.

Jiang Yueming stared blankly at his retreating figure, taking a moment to understand the meaning behind the gesture. He leaned on Li Leshan's shoulder, a lump forming in his throat. The boy's back wasn't particularly broad, but it was exceptionally steady.

“Going home is too far,” Jiang Yueming said softly. “Just drop me off here, I’ll make do for the night.”

Li Leshan shook his head. How could he possibly leave Jiang Yueming here alone? He had to bring him back no matter what.

It takes more than an hour to walk from Shigao to Sanxiang, and he was carrying someone on his back. Heaven knows how difficult the journey must have been.

"Lele, please put me down," Jiang Yueming pleaded. "I can walk by myself."

He didn't respond, as if he hadn't heard, and just walked forward in silence. Jiang Yueming lay drowsily on his back, her cheek pressed against his neck.

Li Leshan walked steadily, each step firm and solid. Jiang Yueming, who was not light and over 1.8 meters tall, was now bearing all his weight on Li Leshan. His eyes suddenly stung, and his hands involuntarily tightened their grip.

"Lele..." Jiang Yueming murmured unconsciously, her lips almost touching Li Leshan's ear, "Don't ignore me, don't find me annoying..."

Li Leshan paused almost imperceptibly, turning his head to glance at Jiang Yueming, the darkness concealing the surging pain in his eyes.

Time seemed to stand still. The early summer night breeze carried a hint of coolness, rustling through the empty streets and the poplar trees or some other kind of trees along the roadside. Fine beads of sweat had formed on Li Leshan's forehead, but his hands supporting Jiang Yueming's legs remained steady, even though they trembled slightly.

Finally seeing the familiar stairwell, he stood at the entrance, looked at the dark doorway, and took a deep breath.

The motion-activated light in the stairwell of Li Leshan's building is completely broken. No one has fixed it, so it has been broken for a long time. Only the small window at the corner of each floor lets in a little moonlight, which barely illuminates the path underfoot.

Li Leshan kept his head down, watching the road, his hands tightly gripping Jiang Yueming's legs. He climbed the steps one by one, or rather, shuffled up. His legs were sore and heavy from the climb, and he could barely lift his feet.

Sweat dripped straight down his forehead, blurring his vision, but he didn't bother to wipe it away, relying on his sense of touch and the dim light to discern the steps beneath his feet.

In a daze, he seemed to hear a sound. He belatedly realized his shoulder was damp. Jiang Yueming was crying, probably from a dream; although he tried to suppress his sobs very quietly, Li Leshan could still sense it.

His heart ached in waves, not so much as it was mild, as if something was scratching at his heart. With each sob of Jiang Yueming, that thing would make a deep cut.

Finally, the last step.

Li Leshan trembled as he pulled the key from his pocket. His hands shook violently, and he tried to open the door twice before finally managing to do so. He gently pushed the door open with his foot, carried Jiang Yueming into the room, and carefully placed him on the bed before finally letting out a sigh of relief.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze lingering on Jiang Yueming's face, then gently wiped away the tear stains on her face with his hand.

Why did you cry?

He didn't recall seeing Jiang Yueming cry many times; upon careful recollection, there were only a few instances, but they were all from a long time ago. He always kept everything bottled up inside, processing it all alone. Li Leshan couldn't really say anything about this, because he was the same way.

"Lele..." Jiang Yueming curled up on the bed, unconsciously calling his name, "I really like him..."

"I like you..."

Li Leshan stopped wiping away Jiang Yueming's tears. After about two or three seconds, he raised his hand again, gently brushing Jiang Yueming's bangs aside. He forced a smile, feeling a little bitter inside.

"Do you still like me even though I'm mute?" Li Leshan looked at him with a hint of self-mockery. He couldn't speak and couldn't give any response.

Tonight, as usual, he rushed home to see his grandmother. Passing by the school gate, he overheard Jiang Yueming and Xu Qing's conversation, which, by sheer coincidence, reached his ears. He hadn't overheard on purpose; he was also a student at Shishi High School and just happened to be passing by. He probably wouldn't have wanted to listen to such a conversation anyway.

Regarding his muteness, Li Leshan had never wavered because of it. He wasn't bullied, he wasn't looked down upon, he wasn't mocked, he wasn't taught sign language and practiced it in front of the mirror again and again... Only at that moment, only when he heard Jiang Yueming's words, did Li Leshan waver.

He thought he had gotten used to it, become numb, or simply didn't care anymore. Because the original Li Leshan was helpless. He was too young to resist most people, and later, as he grew up, he disdained to resist them. But when those words came out of Jiang Yueming's mouth, they still pierced Li Leshan's heart like a knife, causing him so much pain that he could barely walk.

On the way home, he didn't know what he was thinking; it was all jumbled up. Maybe he was thinking about everything, or maybe he wasn't thinking about anything at all. All he could do was grip the handlebars and keep pushing forward, praying that his mind would clear up quickly and stop wandering off.

He couldn't help but ask himself, asking everyone and everything, why was he mute? Why couldn't he speak? Why wasn't he a normal person? He asked himself again and again, was it his fault? It didn't seem so, but it also seemed so. He might never be able to speak, he might never be able to give a normal response. Was someone like him worthy of someone spending their life with him?

A lifetime is truly a very long word.

He only dared to dream of a lifetime when he made a wish. Could he really live like this for the rest of his life? Nodding, shaking his head, using sign language—that was all he could do. Fortunately, he was naturally withdrawn and not very expressive, but was this really enough?

Li Leshan finally wavered.

/

Xu Qing ultimately chose humanities. Whether it was Jiang Yueming's words that had an effect or not, after the division of arts and sciences, she moved herself and her books to the first floor.

Life went on as usual, more peacefully than expected. Neither of them mentioned that day again, as if it had never happened. Han Jiang also went to study humanities. Like Jiang Yueming, he couldn't excel in either the sciences or humanities, so naturally he followed Xu Qing's lead.

Jiang Yueming said he was really stubborn; with that kind of drive, he would have earned eight million. From Hanjiang onwards, everyone would be a first-generation rich, and those three generations down would all be second-generation rich.

Jiang Yueming's memory of being carried home by Li Leshan after getting drunk that day was somewhat blurry after sobering up. He only remembered that he was drunk and when he opened his eyes, he was at Li Leshan's house. When he asked Li Leshan how he got back, Li Leshan wouldn't say. Instead, he directly asked him why he had drunk so much alcohol in the first place.

This made Jiang Yueming afraid to bring it up again; he didn't know what to say. After all, Han Jiang was heartbroken, which gave him a legitimate reason. So what was his reason? To prevent heartbreak? That was utterly ridiculous.

Shengping welcomes the summer heat, and the old locust tree at the entrance of the third alley has grown lush and verdant. This scene is just as ordinary as it was a few years ago. Whenever Jiang Yueming passed by here, he would always think of the times he and Li Leshan would sit on the stone bench under the locust tree doing their homework and memorizing vocabulary. In the blink of an eye, so many years have passed. The old men who play chess and cards are still there, but they don't come here often anymore.

"Are you going to Xiuli's place again this summer?" Jiang Yueming asked. Xiuli had reserved a spot for him this summer, and if Li Leshan went, he would go too. After all, Jiang Yueming was free during the summer vacation and had nothing to do.

Li Leshan nodded. He was also incredibly busy during the two months of summer vacation, working odd jobs at the Zhonghua Market during the day and taking shifts at internet cafes at night. His schedule was so demanding it would make any capitalist weep.

“Okay, then I’ll tell my aunt,” Jiang Yueming said, “and then we’ll put me in there.”

Li Leshan didn't react much, keeping his head down and doing his homework, only his grip on the pen tightened slightly.

He thought this was for the best; Li Yong wouldn't be going to the Zhonghua Market, so he wouldn't see him and Jiang Yueming and therefore wouldn't try anything with Jiang Yueming. These past few days, he'd been giving Li Yong money on time, and things had indeed calmed down a bit. As long as Li Yong didn't provoke those around him, Li Leshan could tolerate it.

I'll endure it for another two years.

Twenty-four months.

But the human heart is never satisfied. At least Li Yong will never be satisfied. Once a person gets something and tastes the sweetness, he will want more. For money, he can do anything.

Jiang Yueming stared blankly at the back of his head. He suddenly moved from the bedside to Li Leshan's side, found a stool and sat down next to Li Leshan. "I'm going to work too. Are you unhappy?"

He must feel like he's wasted his summer vacation again, and he must be thinking that he doesn't need to be with him all the time and in all the things he does.

Li Leshan shook his head after hearing this.

"Then why aren't you saying anything?" Jiang Yueming glanced at his test paper and realized that the person hadn't actually written many words or answered any questions for a long time; he just didn't know what he was thinking.

Li Leshan pursed his lips, and after a long while, he gestured, "I'm afraid you'll get tired."

Jiang Yueming grinned, his carefree demeanor vanishing. "I'm not tired. When have I ever been tired? Being with you, I'm not tired at all."

He was telling the truth. Whether Jiang Yueming was in school, working, or at work, as long as he could see Li Leshan within his field of vision, he would keep going like a perpetual motion machine.

Li Leshan smiled, then turned his head and stared intently into Jiang Yueming's eyes for a long while, making Jiang Yueming feel a little uneasy, and her ears gradually turned red.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Yueming touched her face.

He said it was nothing and continued doing his homework with his head down. Shigao High School assigned a lot of summer homework; besides the standard "Happy Holiday" assignments, the rest were test papers. A thick stack of test papers, but thankfully, after the division into arts and sciences tracks, there were three fewer subjects. The pressure was somewhat reduced. The Tsinghua/Peking University classes were even worse; it was like a printing factory, with piles of white test papers on their desks the moment they opened their eyes and entered the classroom.

Jiang Yueming doesn't write, but he doesn't completely stop writing either. He writes slowly, steadily, and systematically; in short, he doesn't write now.

"How is Grandma's health lately? Didn't you say her back was always hurting a while ago?" Jiang Yueming asked again, her tone tinged with worry. "My aunt said she's been asking her friend at the hospital if she can get some medicine."

"It's okay, it just hurts at night." Li Leshan gestured to him not to worry, "I went to the hospital to get checked out, and it's better now."

"Okay." Jiang Yueming nodded. "Let her stay home and rest. If she needs anything, just tell me."

He then pressed down on Li Leshan's hand and continued, "I know you're going to say it's no trouble for me, that it's unnecessary. Actually, I don't think it's troublesome at all. Putting aside our relationship, she's still my grandmother, just like a blood relative. I'll definitely treat her well, just like you treat me."

“I haven’t been that good to you,” Li Leshan said after a moment of silence.

"What nonsense are you talking about?" Jiang Yueming hurriedly said, "Do you think I don't know whether you're good to me or not? How much better do you need to be? Would it be good enough to pluck the stars from the sky and give them to me? I wouldn't want that."

"I have you, that's enough for me." Jiang Yueming leaned slowly against his shoulder and whispered, "Really, I don't need anything else."

He doesn't want stars, not even the sun, the moon... he doesn't want anything.

Li Leshan's Adam's apple bobbed. He turned his head slightly to press himself against Jiang Yueming, and then closed his eyes.

A summer breeze brushed against their cheeks through the slightly open window, gentle and soft. Outside, the trumpet vines climbed the wall, a vast expanse of bright red, dense and vibrant. This tranquil and ordinary scene, in the years that followed, could only be recalled again and again.