-1- That backflip

Zhao Jinghuan always thought of the senior who died at graduation. Six years ago, Zhao Jinghuan was still a freshman. As a member of the etiquette department, she was dragged by a senior to attend that year's graduation ceremony. During the lengthy ceremony where the dean "tipped the tassels" for the graduates, the tall, thin senior followed the procession onto the stage. Under the spotlight, he shook hands with the dean. Then, in front of the entire faculty and students, he leaped high into the air and performed a backflip. Zhao Jinghuan was standing behind the dean, holding the certificates to be distributed. She witnessed the entire process clearly: the rather handsome senior lowered his knees, extended his hips, straightened his back, and leaped into the air, his entire body flipping downwards. Then there were two loud bangs—one as his face hit the ground, the other as his body followed. Everyone in the room stared at each other in bewilderment, a profound silence that even drowned out the background music. Only when blood oozed from the senior's face and collapsed to Zhao Jinghuan's feet did the students and faculty scream in shock, as if awakening from a dream. The ensuing chaos blurred Zhao Jinghuan's memory, leaving only fragments: the dean taking two steps back, the counselor rushing forward, the flustered seniors called to the stage, and the bright red blood left on the ground as the failed gymnast was dragged away. The graduation ceremony was interrupted. Later that afternoon, Zhao Jinghuan learned that the senior who had performed a backflip during the ceremony was named Lu Kai, and that—Lu Kai was dead. Unlike Lu Kai's abrupt end, in the following four years, and even beyond, when Zhao Jinghuan never saw him, Lu Kai's legacy became a kind of eternal legacy on campus—returning punctually every graduation season as a "summer exclusive." The college even had a dedicated ceremony manual, clearly outlining what was forbidden during the ceremony: chasing, fighting, making loud noises, and attempting backflips. Zhao Jinghuan felt the wording of the notice was a bit harsh, not only because it bolded the word "backflip," but also because it insisted on adding the word "attempt" before it, emphasizing Lu Kai's failure. However, Zhao Jinghuan didn't mention her dissatisfaction with the ceremony manual. After all, when she thought about it, the last graduation ceremony had long since ended, and the next one hadn't yet arrived. Unlike others, Zhao Jinghuan would think of Lu Kai outside of graduation season every year. The reasons for this were, firstly, because that failed backflip happened right in front of her, and secondly, she always felt that backflip seemed to carry a certain...

Zhao Jinghuan always thinks of the senior who died at the graduation ceremony.

Six years ago, Zhao Jinghuan was still a freshman. As a member of the etiquette department, he was dragged by his senior to attend the graduation ceremony that year. During the lengthy ceremony where the dean "pinched the tassels" for the graduates, the tall and thin senior followed the team onto the stage, shook hands with the dean under the spotlight, and then jumped high and did a backflip in front of all the teachers and students in the college.

At that time, Zhao Jinghuan was standing behind the dean holding the certificates to be distributed. She was able to clearly witness the whole process: the senior, who was quite good-looking, lowered his knees, extended his hips, straightened his waist, jumped up, and his whole body flipped in the air and went down.

Then there were two loud bangs, "bang" and "bang".

——One sound was his face hitting the ground, and another sound was his body following closely.

Everyone present looked at each other in bewilderment. The huge silence even drowned out the music playing in the background. It was not until blood oozed from the senior's face and he fainted at Zhao Jinghuan's feet that all the teachers and students in the room screamed as if they had just woken up from a dream.

The subsequent chaos made Zhao Jinghuan's memory blurry, leaving only a few fragmented fragments: the dean who took two steps back, the counselor who rushed up, the group of seniors who were called to the stage in a panic, and the bright red blood left on the ground when the failed gymnast was dragged away.

The graduation ceremony was interrupted. Later that afternoon, Zhao Jinghuan heard that the senior who did a backflip at the graduation ceremony was named Lu Kai, and—

Lu Kai is dead.

…………

Unlike Lu Kai's abrupt end to his life, in the four years that followed, and even further, during the time Zhao Jinghuan never saw him, Lu Kai's deeds became a kind of eternal continuation on campus—returning punctually during each graduation season as a "summer limited edition." The college even had a special attendance manual, clearly stating what was prohibited during the graduation ceremony:

Chasing, fighting, making loud noises, and attempting backflips.

In Zhao Jinghuan's opinion, the wording of the precautions was a bit harsh, not only because it bolded the three words "backflip", but also because it insisted on adding the word "attempt" before the backflip to emphasize Lu Kai's failure.

However, Zhao Jinghuan did not mention her dissatisfaction with the ceremony manual to anyone. After all, when she thought about this, the last graduation ceremony had already ended and the next one had not yet arrived.

Unlike everyone else, Zhao Jinghuan would think of Lu Kai every year, outside of graduation season. The reason for this was, firstly, because that failed backflip happened right in front of her, and secondly, she always felt that it held a certain symbolic meaning—a young man full of ambition, brimming with energy for the future, his confidence reaching its peak, only to be dealt a head-on blow by the world.

In the summer of 2023, Zhao Jinghuan left campus with a vision for the future. Although she had majored in visual communication design, unlike many of her classmates who dreamed of becoming designers or artists after graduation, Zhao Jinghuan knew clearly that her family lacked relevant background and her university wasn't high enough to pursue a career in a related field. So, starting in her sophomore year, she began studying for the civil service exam. Upon graduation, she failed the exam, along with many of her classmates who hadn't prepared.

The savings she'd saved from painting walls during college were quietly transferred to her landlord's account while she waited for the civil service exam results. She was forced to take a part-time job as a food delivery driver while she looked for a job. Over the next six months, she participated in countless interviews and was able to turn her part-time job into a full-time one.

The good news is that with an average salary of 6,200 yuan, she has the highest salary among all her classmates. The bad news is that she has to accept the curse of this high salary - she has begun to look down on those jobs that match her major but have a starting salary of 1,900 yuan and require a deposit.

While waiting for meals at Pinhai Pavilion, Zhao Jinghuan would occasionally run into his classmate, Ji Anya, the second highest-paid employee in the class who worked as an "art specialist" at Pinhai Pavilion. Her job was to hold the basin with one hand while serving dishes to diners, and use the soup flowing from the basin to write the artistic word pattern "Fortune Shrimp Comes" on the napkin.

In a sense, this can also be considered a professional match.

The two weren't close friends in school, but now, as partners in the same supply chain, they've become increasingly close. They constantly emphasize their satisfaction with the status quo, yet they also casually hint at new and exciting plans for the future. Ji Anya would explain her following various entrepreneurial bloggers, while Zhao Jinghuan would show her a sculpture he'd designed in his spare time—a faceless white figure, face-down on the ground, doing a backflip.

At least, they haven't lost the ability to dream.

The entrepreneurial blogger Ji Anya followed lost over 400,000 yuan in a year, saving her a significant amount of tuition fees in a parallel universe. Meanwhile, the statue that did a backflip brought Zhao Jinghuan, who also runs Xiaohongshu, a full 101 followers in the past year.

Everything is moving in the right direction.

However, whenever they shared their lives with each other, Zhao Jinghuan could vaguely feel that Ji Anya was as reserved as she was.

Unlike their uninhibited student days, for some reason, they no longer tend to reveal every aspect of their lives in detail, especially those not-so-big sorrows.

Zhao Jinghuan never said that among his 101 fans online, there were not only a dozen netizens who followed each other, but also two robots selling stocks.

Just like she didn't say, she saw her ex-boyfriend on Xiaohongshu, whose name she didn't even want to mention. He had also graduated for two years and had already opened his own art exhibition with the help of his parents.

And I...

The phone rang with the countdown to the order.

"Is there anything sadder than the end of the world?"

"have."

Zhao Jinghuan comforted herself that setbacks were inevitable in life, but it seemed that there were a little more bad things happening this year.

On January 26, she saw that her ex-boyfriend, who had just finished an art exhibition, signed a contract with a studio and launched trendy toys with his own designs, which seemed to have inexplicably entered her own track.

On February 12, the two stock recommendation robots were shut down, and Zhao Jinghuan’s number of followers dropped to 99, making him drop out of the ranks of three-digit bloggers.

On March 15, during a break from delivering food, Zhao Jinghuan received a link from Ji Anya. Seeing the words “trendy toys and figures” on the post, Zhao Jinghuan thought Ji Anya had seen her ex-boyfriend.

The good news is that the post has nothing to do with Zhao Jinghuan's ex-boyfriend. The bad news is that a company called "Waikiki" has released a trendy toy figure: a black, faceless figure that does a backflip and lands face first.

The color is different and the shape has also undergone some major changes, but the core design concept is exactly the same as that of Zhao Jinghuan's statue.

As an independent artist with a follower count of 99, she was plagiarized.

Zhao Jinghuan felt wronged and helpless. At first, she laughed at herself silently, thinking that this might save her the trouble of "competing" with her ex-boyfriend in the future. But soon, all the emotions that she didn't even know existed but had been silently pent up all burst out:

On the electric bike, in the middle of the street, she burst into tears.

Later that day, Zhao Jinghuan angrily wrote a 15,000-word account of the incident, denouncing Waikiki for plagiarizing independent artists, and posted it on Xiaohongshu.

She was satisfied with her rich emotions and Yan Jin's narrative, and was full of confidence. She suddenly had a premonition that it was a blessing in disguise: she would gain sympathy from netizens, gain a large number of fans, and even truly embark on the path of an independent artist.

However, two months later, her anti-plagiarism post has only received 9 likes and one comment.

"That doesn't look like a backflip."

Zhao Jinghuan's colleague, the poet Xiaoman at the takeaway station, once said: Life is like seeing someone shitting into Qinghai Lake. What a wicked thing it is, but it's done. The shit falls in and sinks or scatters. After a while, the lake becomes still and clear, as if nothing happened.

You know there's shit inside, but you can't do anything about it, and it doesn't seem to matter.

“But you know there’s shit in it.”

Zhao Jinghuan felt the same way.

…………

The last order of the night was to be delivered to Zhao Jinghuan’s alma mater.

Because of the need for cycling, she wore a large helmet and a thick black mask, and was not worried about being recognized by college teachers or graduate students. This was not the first time she returned to her alma mater with takeout after graduation, but she could feel the difference today. Perhaps it was because the series of bad things had finally rotted and fermented in her heart, producing some kind of strange chemical reaction.

She hated the success, and her ex-boyfriend became even more annoying because of the success. She lost the title of "blogger with 100 followers", had her ideas plagiarized, and had anti-plagiarism posts that no one paid attention to.

After delivering this last order and walking out of the west gate of the school, Zhao Jinghuan did not rush to ride his electric bike. Instead, he turned back unconsciously and stared at the white sign with the school name on it for a long time.

It was not until an unknown amount of time had passed that she realized that Ji Anya was not far away. She was wearing Pinhai Pavilion's work clothes and, like her, was staring at the old school sign on the side of the small door.

Their eyes met unexpectedly. Ji Anya came over with a forced smile and said to her in a hoarse voice:

"I suddenly wanted to come back and take a look."

…………

At the school gate, two people sat side by side on a mobile cart selling spicy hot pot, ordering fried bean curd skin, konjac knots, enoki mushrooms... Ji Anya talked about her work today. During the evening rush hour, she wrote "Successful Shrimp is Coming" more than twenty times in one breath until her right hand cramped and she dropped the pot on the customer.

As for Zhao Jinghuan, she didn't say a word for a long time.

The griddle pot in front of them was trying its best to spray steam upwards. They gradually stopped talking and started chatting among themselves. Zhao Jinghuan thought about the year after graduation, the civil service exam she had tried hard but failed, herself who was "accidentally injured" by the platform's deletion of her account, the missed interview, and her annoying ex-boyfriend who had become successful.

Finally, she thought of the failed backflip that seemed like a premonition.

A young man full of hope was hit head-on by this world.

The steam rising from the pot filled Zhao Jinghuan's eyes, making her feel half drunk. She finally spoke, "I looked up that Waikiki studio, and it's actually a local company, right in the neighborhood inside Haiya Lane. I passed by it several times today while delivering food, but I didn't go in."

"If I had gone, everything would have been different. They would have sincerely apologized, removed the product from the shelves, compensated me for my losses, and issued an apology statement online. Then all my problems would have been solved. I would have become a blogger with hundreds of followers again, passed the civil service exam, become a designer, found a good job, and lived a better life than... than the people I disliked."

She felt Ji Anya turning her head to look at her, but she just stared straight at the bubbling soup, avoiding their eye contact.

“I don’t think I’ve made many wrong decisions, and I’ve almost given my all, but I still… a lot of times I wonder if there’s a possibility.

"I am born to be more suitable for failure."

Zhao Jinghuan suddenly thought of the boy named "Lu Kai". She always felt that the name Lu Kai was a bit weird. He was not called Lu Kaixin, not Lu Kaishui, not Lu Beginning to Understand that Love is a Choice. He was just called Lu Kai, as if when his parents named him, they felt bored after writing the first character and decided to end it there.

It was like the half-built bridge on Songpo Road, like the six blocked alleys on Bayi Street, like her inconclusive plagiarism case, like a backflip that came to an abrupt end.

It also sounds like: So what? Let it be. It’s just someone shitting into Qinghai Lake.