Chapter 37

The week following their reconciliation passed quickly. Xing Jiayan and Fang Chi tacitly gave each other space, not rushing to define anything, but naturally re-entering each other's lives.

Xing Jiayan would text Fang Chi every day, sometimes a simple "Good morning," sometimes sharing interesting things that happened at work. Fang Chi would reply, though not much, but he would reply to each one carefully. The two would occasionally have dinner together, choosing a quiet little shop, chatting about their new discoveries in their respective fields, and sometimes reminiscing about funny things from high school.

On Wednesday evening, Xing Jiayan sent a message: "What time does the experiment end tomorrow night? I'll come pick you up."

Fang Chi stared at his phone screen, a smile unconsciously creeping onto his lips. This was the first time Xing Jiayan had offered to pick him up since their reconciliation.

"Around nine o'clock. Isn't that too late?"

"No. See you at nine."

The lab was unusually busy on Thursday. Fang Chi was processing a set of crucial data when his phone vibrated, reminding him that it was already 8:50. After quickly packing up and saying goodbye to his advisor, he hurried downstairs.

The December night was bitterly cold. Fang Chi had just stepped out of the physics department building when he saw two people standing under a streetlamp not far away. He recognized one of the figures immediately—Xing Jiayan, wearing a dark gray overcoat and the scarf Fang Chi had given him, was waiting quietly.

Standing opposite Xing Jiayan, excitedly saying something, was Zhou Xu.

Fang Chi paused. He wanted to turn around and leave through another door, but it was too late. Zhou Xu saw him, his eyes lit up, and he quickly walked over.

"Fang Chi!" Zhou Xu's voice was exceptionally clear in the quiet night. "I've been waiting for you for a long time."

Fang Chi subconsciously looked at Xing Jiayan. The latter stood still, the streetlights casting shadows of varying depths on his face, obscuring his expression.

"Is there something you need, senior?" Fang Chi tried his best to make his voice sound calm.

Zhou Xu took a deep breath, as if gathering his courage: "Fang Chi, there are some things I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I know you may find it sudden, but I don't want to wait any longer."

Fang Chi's heart sank as he caught a glimpse of Xing Jiayan slowly walking towards them.

“I noticed you when you came to the lab in your freshman year.” Zhou Xu’s voice trembled slightly, but it was firm. “You are smart, focused, and have a pure love for physics. I like watching you work so hard when you do experiments, I like listening to your clear logic when you explain problems, I like… I like everything about you.”

The cold wind whipped up the fallen leaves on the ground, making a rustling sound.

“I know you might not be ready for a relationship yet, but I’m willing to wait.” Zhou Xu stepped forward, her eyes sparkling as she looked at Fang Chi. “I just hope you can give me a chance to take care of you and stay by your side. I—”

"Zhou Xu," Fang Chi interrupted him, her voice clear and calm, "Thank you for saying that. But I must tell you, I already have someone I like."

Zhou Xu froze, the expectation on his face gradually freezing: "Who...who is it?"

Just then, a calm voice rang out from the side: "It's me."

Xing Jiayan walked to Fang Chi's side and naturally reached out to put his arm around Fang Chi's shoulder. This seemingly casual gesture carried an undeniable sense of possessiveness.

Zhou Xu stared at them blankly, his gaze shifting back and forth between the two, finally settling on Xing Jiayan's arm around Fang Chi's shoulder.

“You guys…” His voice was a little hoarse.

“We’re together now.” Xing Jiayan continued, her voice steady, her gaze fixed on Zhou Xu. “We’ve known each other since high school, and we only recently got back together.”

Fang Chi could feel the strength of Xing Jiayan's arm; it was quite strong, as if he was suppressing something. But instead of pushing him away, he moved closer to Xing Jiayan.

"Is that so, Fang Chi?" Zhou Xu looked at Fang Chi, a last glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Fang Chi nodded: "Yes. I'm sorry, senior, I've always regarded you as a respected senior and friend."

The light on Zhou Xu's face completely faded. He forced a smile, a bitter one: "I understand. I'm sorry, I was presumptuous. I wish you... happiness."

After saying that, he turned and walked away quickly, his shadow stretching long under the streetlights before disappearing into the night.

A cold wind blew again, swirling up the withered leaves on the ground. Only two people remained under the streetlamp.

Xing Jiayan's hand was still around Fang Chi's shoulder, not letting go. Fang Chi turned his head to look at him and found that Xing Jiayan was looking in the direction Zhou Xu had left, his jawline taut.

"Let's go home," Xing Jiayan finally spoke, his voice lower than usual.

He naturally took the backpack from Fang Chi's shoulder and took Fang Chi's hand with his other hand. The way he held hands was special; it wasn't a simple grip, but rather their fingers were interlocked with a rather strong grip.

Fang Chi didn't say anything, letting him lead her towards the parking lot.

Xing Jiayan remained silent throughout the journey. Fang Chi wanted to speak several times, but seeing Xing Jiayan's tightly pursed lips, he swallowed his words. The car's heater was on full blast, but the atmosphere was somewhat stagnant.

When they got home, Xing Jiayan's mother was already asleep, and a warm yellow wall lamp was left on in the living room. Xing Jiayan hung up their coats, his movements a little forceful.

"Would you like something to drink?" Fang Chi asked tentatively.

Xing Jiayan didn't answer, but turned around and walked step by step towards Fang Chi. His eyes looked particularly deep in the dim light, and there were emotions that Fang Chi couldn't understand.

"Does he often come to you like this?" Xing Jiayan asked, her voice a little hoarse.

Fang Chi paused for a moment before realizing he was referring to Zhou Xu: "No, this is the first time."

"The first time?" Xing Jiayan interrupted him, a smile that wasn't really genuine. "But it seems like he's liked you for a long time."

Fang Chi frowned: "Xing Jiayan, what do you mean?"

“What I mean is,” Xing Jiayan took another step forward, the two of them now very close, close enough to feel each other’s breath, “in the two years I was gone, were there many people who liked you like this, who revolved around you like this?”

His voice contained an emotion Fang Chi had never heard before—a suppressed, surging jealousy and unease.

Fang Chi looked at him and suddenly understood something. He reached out and gently stroked Xing Jiayan's cheek: "Jealous?"

Xing Jiayan stiffened for a moment and turned her face away: "No."

“You do.” Fang Chi’s hand slid to his chin, forcing him to turn around and look at him. “Xing Jiayan, look at me.”

Their eyes met. Xing Jiayan's defenses finally crumbled little by little, revealing the vulnerability and unease beneath.

"Yes, I was jealous." He admitted, his voice lowering. "When I saw him looking at you like that, when I heard him confess his feelings to you, I... I was going crazy. Fang Chi, you have no idea how scared I was."

What are you afraid of?

“I’m afraid that in the past two years, you’ve gotten used to life without me. I’m afraid that someone is better than me, and knows how to take care of you better. I’m afraid…” He paused, his voice barely audible, “I’m afraid that you’ll feel that being with someone as sunny and cheerful as me is much easier than being with someone as dull and burdened by the past.”

Fang Chi's heart skipped a beat. He stood on tiptoe and gently placed a kiss on Xing Jiayan's lips.

It was a very light kiss that instantly soothed the unease in Xing Jiayan's eyes.

“Listen carefully,” Fang Chi said softly, pressing his forehead against his, “In the past two years, some people have indeed expressed their affection for me. But I have never accepted any of them. Do you know why?”

Xing Jiayan shook his head, his breathing becoming somewhat rapid.

“Because there has always been someone in my heart.” Fang Chi’s voice was soft, but every word was clear. “That person would stubbornly knock on my door on snowy days, would argue with me about physics problems until we were red in the face, and would solve a problem on a forum that I had been trying to figure out for three days. That person suddenly disappeared, but I have been waiting for him to come back and give me an explanation.”

Xing Jiayan's eyes reddened.

“Now that he’s back and everything’s been explained, I can finally tell him,” Fang Chi cupped his face and said, word by word, “Xing Jiayan, I’ve been waiting for you for so long. I don’t want anyone but you.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Xing Jiayan suddenly kissed him.

This kiss was unlike any before. It was no longer a cautious, tentative exploration, but rather a burning, long-suppressed emotion, like a wildfire that instantly ignited the air between them.

Xing Jiayan's arms wrapped tightly around Fang Chi's waist, pinning him against the wall. Their lips and tongues intertwined, a mixture of longing, possessiveness, unease, and reassurance. Fang Chi wrapped his arms around Xing Jiayan's neck, responding passionately, telling him with his actions, "I'm here, I've always been here."

The kiss gradually turned from passionate to tender. Xing Jiayan's lips moved to Fang Chi's ear, his breath hot: "Fang Chi...can I?"

Fang Chi didn't answer, but instead kissed his Adam's apple, hearing his suppressed gasp.

That was like a silent permission.

Xing Jiayan picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. The door closed gently behind them, shutting out everything from the outside world.

Only a bedside lamp was on in the bedroom, casting a warm yellow glow on the bed. Xing Jiayan gently placed Fang Chi on the bed, leaned over to look at him, his eyes so deep they seemed to draw him in.

“I’ll be gentle,” he whispered, his fingers tracing Fang Chi’s cheek.

Fang Chi grabbed his collar and pulled him towards her: "Don't talk."

Clothes fell one by one, scattering on the carpet beside the bed. When their skin touched, both trembled slightly. Xing Jiayan's kiss landed on Fang Chi's shoulder and neck, warm and reverent, as if handling the most precious treasure.

"Fang Chi..." he called his name softly, over and over again.

The touch of their fingers was gentle and restrained, yet it tested each other's limits. Fang Chi's body tensed slightly, then gradually relaxed under his soothing words. In the darkness, their breaths mingled, growing increasingly rapid.

When they finally became one, both of them let out suppressed sighs. Xing Jiayan stopped moving, giving Fang Chi time to adjust, his forehead pressed against Fang Chi's, their breaths mingling.

"Does it hurt?" he asked in a low, hoarse voice.

Fang Chi shook his head, running his fingers through his hair: "Continue."

It was a long and tender night. Xing Jiayan used all his patience and tenderness to guide Fang Chi as they explored unfamiliar territory. Every touch, every deeper penetration, was accompanied by whispers and light kisses, as if they were reaffirming each other's existence with their bodies.

Fang Chi had never imagined that Xing Jiayan, so calm and composed on the podium, would have such a side in bed—gentle to the point of near-reverence, yet imbued with an undeniable possessiveness. Every move he made seemed to say: You are mine, and only mine.

As the climax approached, Fang Chi hugged Xing Jiayan tightly, his nails digging into his back. Xing Jiayan kissed away the tears from the corners of his eyes, held him in his arms, and the two trembled as they reached their peak together.

Afterwards, neither of them spoke. Xing Jiayan carefully cleaned up, lay back down on the bed, and pulled Fang Chi into her arms. Their skin touched, and their heartbeats were exceptionally clear in the quiet night.

Fang Chi was exhausted, his eyelids heavy, but he still forced himself to look at Xing Jiayan. In the dim light, Xing Jiayan was looking at him, his eyes so tender they seemed to overflow with tears.

"Are you still jealous?" Fang Chi asked softly, his voice a little hoarse.

Xing Jiayan chuckled softly and kissed his forehead: "There's still a bit. It'll probably never change in this lifetime."

"Then you can eat slowly." Fang Chi snuggled closer to him. "Anyway... I only like you."

Xing Jiayan tightened his arms, pulling him completely into her embrace.

"Go to sleep," he whispered. "I'm here."

Fang Chi closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep. Xing Jiayan, however, did not fall asleep immediately. He quietly watched the person in his arms in the dim light.

Moonlight streamed in through the gaps in the curtains, casting soft shadows on Fang Chi's face. His sleeping face was peaceful and relaxed, his eyelashes casting faint fan-shaped shadows beneath his eyes.

Xing Jiayan gently stroked his cheek, his fingertips lingering on his lips. This person was finally back in his arms. This time, he would never let go again.

The winter night outside the window was bottomless, but the warmth inside the room was enough to ward off all the cold.

Xing Jiayan finally closed her eyes, hugged Fang Chi even tighter, and drifted into the most peaceful sleep she had ever had.

This time, they will not be separated again.

Never.