58: Unrealistic Desires

Shang Zhi lowered her head and bit his finger hard.

"I'm done washing, help me up."

"I can't hear you." His fingertips gently touched her skin, and Shang Zhi felt that she had no last barrier or privacy in front of him.

Perhaps it's long gone.

Annoyed, she splashed water on him. His white shirt was soaked through, revealing the color of his skin, which made him look even more handsome.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub, picked up the showerhead and washed her hair. His fingers pressed on her head with just the right amount of pressure, and Shang Zhi almost fell asleep.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we just stayed together like this for the rest of our lives, just the two of us?" She had her back to him, so she couldn't see his expression and didn't know how to answer.

After taking a shower, he carried her back to bed, wrapping her completely in a bath towel. Shang Zhi remembered how she used to hold her kittens like this when she was little.

He dried her off and helped her put on her clothes. It was normal for Pei Yanxiu to do these things for her when she was unwell, but Shang Zhi always felt that every movement became very awkward under his hands.

It's hard to say whether he did it on purpose or not.

"What's wrong?" He looked up at her, a smile in his eyes.

"Don't take advantage of my illness to have any improper thoughts about me."

"Even if you weren't sick, I still have a million improper thoughts about you. Do you want to hear them?"

"roll."

There was a rustling sound outside the door, as if someone was making it on purpose.

"Go and see, maybe Dad is looking for something."

"good."

-

Pei Yanxiu knew that Pei Qing'an wasn't looking for anything; he was just venting his frustrations. After helping Shang Zhi clean up, he walked to Pei Qing'an's side.

"Several directors from the company called me today. How much longer are you going to stay here? The Tiancui project is still in its final stages, and you don't care about it at all? You don't really care about this project?"

"Are all the people the company employs just sitting around doing nothing?" Pei Yanxiu asked calmly.

"Can't they do anything without me?"

"You can sit still, but I can't."

"If you can't sit still, you can go back. I didn't try to stop you."

"What kind of nonsense are you spouting!" Upon hearing Pei Yanxiu's words, Pei Qing'an slapped him mercilessly.

"What do you think you're doing? Staying here, washing and cleaning around a woman, are you even acting like a man?"

"Yanxiu, apologize to your father, and we'll let this matter go," Liang Shuyin interjected. She wasn't trying to speak up for Pei Qing'an, but she knew him too well; he would never back down if his son didn't apologize.

"So what do you think makes a man? Ignoring someone when they're sick, threatening domestic violence when there's a conflict—that's what makes a man, right?"

Liang Shuyin was also shocked; she hadn't expected her son to say such a thing.

Over the years, she had long since resigned herself to her fate. She liked Xixi very much; in Xixi, she could see her own shadow—unruly, willful, and fearless. But after so many years with Pei Qing'an, her pride had long been broken. He wouldn't allow her to show even the slightest disobedience or resistance; in his hands, not a single hair could defy him.

She had long been used to this kind of life and had forgotten about resisting. Sometimes she admired her two sons; they had always resisted and never given up, and they didn't care about being beaten or punished.

But she was afraid; she had been beaten so badly over the years.

"Kneel down."

I said kneel down!

Pei Yanxiu obeyed and knelt down straight, but his eyes were filled with disdain, and Pei Qing'an was clearly stung by that look.

He didn't understand why none of them listened to him, not even his wife or son, despite all the sacrifices he had made for them.

"Kneel here, I won't let you get up, you're not allowed to get up." He looked at his son obediently bowing his head, but a sense of desolation arose in his heart. He felt that his son's obedience was not real obedience, but just an act for him to see.

Taking advantage of the fact that no one was paying attention, Shang Zhi pushed the wheelchair out of the room and gently tugged at his sleeve.

"Don't kneel anymore, I see they've all rested." Pei Yanxiu looked tired, his eyes showing exhaustion, and Shang Zhi felt bad seeing him like this.

He shook his head: "I'm fine, Xixi, go back to sleep, this has nothing to do with you."

Pei Qing'an came out and happened to witness this scene. He snorted and told Pei Yanxiu to get up, without saying anything else. Pei Yanxiu had been kneeling for too long, and his movements were unsteady when he got up, but he quickly recovered and even pushed Shang Zhi back to her room.

"Here's some ointment for you. Apply it to your knees."

"I'm fine."

"Why do you listen to him? You'll kneel just because he tells you to? You're all grown up now, you don't need to care about what he says."

"I don't know, maybe it's just a habit."

"So, the way you're treating me now is just continuing the habits he had with you?"

"You were treated like this when you were a child, so you naturally applied the same treatment to me, right?"

-

Pei Yanxiu paused as he reached for the ointment Shang Zhi handed him.

In an instant, he felt his heart sink to the bottom. She was right; he had almost perfectly replicated the set of rules he had learned as a child onto her.

Unconsciously, he was repeating the same thing.

"What's wrong, Uncle Pei?"

"It's nothing. What would you like to eat tomorrow? I'll make it for you, but we need to go to the hospital for a check-up in the morning."

"Actually, I feel better lately, but it can't go on like this between you and Dad. Why don't you consider trying to appease them first?"

“When I was a child, I always obeyed him. For a while, I even thought that what he gave me was the most orthodox and correct education. Kneeling and beating were commonplace.”

“When Awang was little, he was disobedient, and I would help him to discipline him. At that time, we all thought that Awang was immature and didn’t listen to his father.”

"I never thought about whether it was right or wrong."

"You're right, Xixi. Maybe I'm projecting the same things I learned as a child onto you. I should think carefully about what you can actually handle."

Shang Zhi gently squeezed Pei Yanxiu's hand.

"Yanxiu? May I come in?" Liang Shuyin's voice rang out from outside the door, and Pei Yanxiu got up to open the door.

"Xixi, this is for you. I was going to give it to you as soon as I arrived, but they've been arguing so much these past few days that I forgot."

In Liang Shuyin's hand was a bracelet with a beautiful yellow diamond that shone brightly, which Shang Zhi loved.

"Thank you, Mom." She happily put it on and even made a heart shape with her hands for Liang Shuyin.

"Mom, did he hit you again?" Pei Yanxiu reached out and grabbed Liang Shuyin's arm, which was covered in bruises.

"No, no, I hurt myself by accident while I was cooking last time."

"Liar, Mom! You can't let him treat you like this! Are you prepared to suffer like this for the rest of your life?! I don't know how heartbroken Grandma would be if she knew!"

"She won't know! As long as we keep these secrets, no one will know! Wan Jia needs me to play the role of a model couple with him, so I'll play it with him! Anyway, we've already endured so many years, a few more years won't matter!"