Chapter 32: I Don't Want a Divorce, I've Changed My Mind

Gu Lai did not struggle.

The fragrance emanating from Jiang Yi, mixed with the distinctive smell of hospital disinfectant, transformed into peculiar molecules that entered her nasal cavity, almost making her lose her senses.

She thought that nothing in the world could make her lose herself more than the familiar and warm embrace Jiang Yi gave her, and nothing could make her more intoxicated than his gaze.

She stared blankly at him, not even having time to think about the question she should have been wondering: why was Jiang Yi arguing with her about apologizing?

While she remained silent, Jiang Yi gently lifted her up and placed her on the sofa in the VIP lounge.

Gu Lai seemed genuinely stunned.

Jiang Yi saw her bewildered look and gave an inappropriate laugh, but she couldn't maintain that fleeting moment of pleasure.

She wasn't very strong, but holding Gu Lai felt like holding a feather.

Ah Lai is so light, is this normal?

Is she losing weight for her new drama, or what?

...But she doesn't seem to have any reason to ask Gu Lai's nutritionist now.

Jiang Yi glanced around; there were no small stools, but there were single sofas.

Gu Lai was looking at her.

Jiang Yi suddenly became too lazy to bother pulling the small sofa. Meeting Gu Lai's gaze, she took off her mask, squatted down directly in front of Gu Lai, and put her arms around Gu Lai on the sofa.

The special needs rest area was too quiet. Lately, only medical staff had hurriedly passed by. Zhou Shanshan had also tactfully gone to attend to her business earlier. There was no one around. Jiang Yi looked up at her, feeling that it was so quiet that he could almost hear the gentle sound of Gu Lai's gaze falling on him.

“Ah Lai, actually, taking care of them is also my responsibility. If I didn’t call you by your full name, I should also call you Mom. But what she said is not wrong. Although I can’t do much because I’m far away, I really haven’t thought seriously about how to arrange for them to enjoy a decent and safe old age. I’ve just roughly let them take care of them so that they won’t cause any major trouble.”

Gu Lai shook her head and said softly, "What's the big deal? I was already disappointed..."

Jiang Yi gave a very faint smile.

“But I also knew long ago how gentle you were, and that you felt they hadn’t caused much harm, so at most you just tried to forget them—I should have realized long ago that you still couldn’t bear to see them in such a sorry state, but you still treated them according to my wishes.”

She paused for a few breaths, her gaze lowering as if instinctively avoiding something, but she quickly looked up again, the smile long since melted away.

"I promised to respect you. I don't know if I said it, but I truly believed it. But now it seems I haven't kept my word. I'm sorry."

Gu Lai looked at her silently, neither denying nor questioning. She reached out and touched Jiang Yi's cheek, then said, "Don't squat, sit on the sofa."

Jiang Yi whispered, "Let me face you, get closer, don't make me speak loudly here, okay?"

As before, she spoke in a declarative tone even though it was a question.

Gu Lai did not refute this.

She understood Jiang Yi's unspoken message: "Let me look up to you from this angle."

Gu Lai asked, "When did you arrive?"

Jiang Yi: "Last night, I was quite lucky; it arrived a little earlier than I expected."

Gu Lai asked, "Where are you from?"

“Milan,” Jiang Yi replied.

Gu Lai suddenly realized that it was the city she had been avoiding.

After receiving Jiang Yi's affirmation before the Lunar New Year, she almost suspended all activities in the fashion and luxury industries for the past two or three months, including major fashion weeks.

But she was especially certain she wouldn't go to Milan. The city didn't hold many memories for her, but it was special enough.

The first fashion resource that Jiang Yi helped her with was in Milan, where she closed the FL fashion show when Jiang Yi was the fashion director at the time. She still has an endorsement deal with FL to this day.

And these aren't the only memories I have of Milan.

Gu Lai still remembers the feeling of awe and a slight sense of inferiority she felt when she first stepped into that high, secluded mansion, nestled between the Alps and Lake Como. She remembers the fleeting glimpse she made downwards as they lingered in the crystal-clear infinity pool, witnessing waterbirds taking flight and the sunset turning Lake Como into molten amber.

She remembered more. But the time when Jiang Yi lazily leaned against the wall, playing Puccini's aria, watching her awkwardly flip through the sheet music and sing along intermittently, was gone. She didn't want to overwrite her romantic memories with new, cold-toned experiences.

The omnipresent shadows of the past are bad enough; at least let her retain a lingering smile when she thinks of them.

Gu Lai asked, "Milan, do you live near Lake Como?"

“Yes,” Jiang Yi said realistically, “that’s the only residence I own in Milan.”

Gu Lai suddenly realized what question she had asked, but couldn't help but smile.

“Actually, you didn’t need to come,” Gu Lai said. “You asked Zhou Shanshan to tell me back then, and I can still understand it today.”

Jiang Yi didn't answer, but just smiled at her.

Gu Lai's seemingly rational attempt to retract her statement was thwarted by her laughter, just like the kiss they had shared through their masks.

Gu Lai let out a long sigh, as if giving up.

"Thank you anyway," she said.

Jiang Yi said, "There's no need. Even if you said you didn't accumulate any good karma, it's probably because you've become entangled with me, and I naturally share in the misfortunes you've caused. Anyway, over the years, quite a few people have been ruined or even committed suicide because of me, so there must be quite a few vengeful spirits and curses—"

"Jiang Yi!" Gu Lai frowned and interrupted.

“So,” Jiang Yi looked at her, his words carrying a double meaning, “you shouldn’t say things like that anymore.”

Gu Lai was overwhelmed by her empathy for the situation.

She remained silent for a long time, then asked in a low voice, "Did she... Luo Ou say anything to you?"

"No." Jiang Yi knew what she meant and smiled. "I don't seem like the kind of person who would be easily broken down by other people's words."

—But actually, it does exist.

Gu Lai's parents were ordinary people who had spent their entire lives in this poor province and city. They were bullies who were afraid of the strong and confused. They weren't exactly wicked, but the small things they did could make people sick to their stomachs.

When Luo Ou saw Jiang Yi, it was like a hungry wolf encountering a fat sheep. However, in reality, her attempts to gain the upper hand were met with a gentle but firm rebuff, and her soft probing was evaded. Being too weak to speak much, she could only fall into a deep sleep.

From beginning to end, only one sentence from Luo Ou left a deep impression on Jiang Yi. As if standing on a moral high ground to retaliate against an unfilial daughter who had not benefited her, she said to Jiang Yi: "Your marriage has lacked the blessing of one of the parents from beginning to end."

Jiang Yi's first reaction was that she was wrong; it wasn't just that one parent was missing. Her own father was unknown, and at that time, her mother, Jiang Mei, was unwilling and hoped that she, who had not yet gained power, would go through a marriage alliance, rather than taking a risky approach to cater to some new legislation.

Then came anger, followed by a sense of panic, as if I had heard a prophecy.

Enraged, she thought, "Dream on! There's no way I'll let your words come true." Then, belatedly, she realized what that thought meant.

I don't want to; I really can't let go.

After dinner that day, she could still tell herself in the car that it was too late to regret it, and that there was no way she could change her mind. When she ended the video call, she could still think that she was giving herself time to quit. Even in the later phone call, she could still have the absurd expectation of becoming a distant friend after the divorce.

Jiang Yi realized that her repeated self-suggestion and isolation had never been effective, and that she had been concealing the sharp edges of her emotions that couldn't be suppressed. Those seemingly relieved and carefree actions before were nothing more than a calm acceptance of knowing there was still a way forward.

It wasn't until Gu Lai subtly pressured her over the phone that she realized this, as her "some time" dragged on and on.

Her desires, which were forcibly restrained, were like an unquenchable smoldering fire; a gentle breeze from Gu Lai could easily set it ablaze.

Let her useless and pathetic pretense of magnanimity go to hell.

“There’s one more thing,” Jiang Yi said slowly, “that question you asked on the phone, I know what you meant.”

Although her expression was gentle when she said this, her eyes were unusually bright.

Under that gaze, Gu Lai suddenly realized which line from which phone call she was referring to.

After the initial impulse, the only emotion she felt when the topic was brought up now was fear.

"Don't tell me," she almost cried out, "Don't tell me the answer now!"

“I’m sorry,” Jiang Yi said, raising the corners of his lips slightly. “I don’t know if this is bad news for you… A-Lai, I don’t want a divorce. I’ve changed my mind.”

No one knows Gu Lai's feelings at this moment, how she plunged into the Mariana Trench and then climbed back to the mountain peak.

This was so sudden.

Gu Lai seemed to hear the roar of blood rushing through her veins, and millions of active molecules buzzing and disrupting her nerves.

That's it? All this time of tossing and turning, loss of control, and pain, is it really over?

This is what I expected, but not entirely.

Her reason returned abruptly, and when she opened her mouth to speak, the word that came out was a distant address: "Sister."

The words were both strange and familiar; Jiang Yi hadn't heard them in a long time, and no one had called her that anymore.

Jiang Yi looked up at Gu Lai and subconsciously agreed with a rising tone at the end of his voice.

Gu Lai said in a hoarse voice, "But you didn't try to stop me, not even before today."

She's always like this; I don't know why she cries so easily in front of Jiang Yi. These days, she's clearly able to recall the past calmly and composedly, but she still easily crumbles because of Jiang Yi's words.

She had never felt so wronged.

"You've been able to plan so rationally and comprehensively, so why are you only saying this now? Is this the result of your thinking since before the new year?"

Gu Lai lingered on Jiang Yi's cheek, her wrist resting lightly on her shoulder, not moving away or applying any force.

She was just trembling, a violent trembling that only Jiang Yi noticed.

Gu Lai said in a low voice, "I really hate you."

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Thanks to Sweetheart for the thunder:

March: 1 landmine; ohbaby: 1 landmine; M: 2 landmines

Thank you, Sweetheart Nutritional Solution:

M, Irrigation nutrient solution +1

Drinking anything is fine, but irrigating with nutrient solution increases it by 4.

I've already told you, water with nutrient solution +1