26

At a roadside food stall, Xiao Jian and Qiu Jie sat in a corner, ordering two bottles of wine. At first, Xiao Jian didn't say anything, just kept drinking. Finally, he mustered up his courage and asked Qiu Jie, "Qiu Jie...you and Zhao Yezhi, are you...are you in that kind of relationship?"

"You mean, a romantic relationship?" Qiu Jie smiled calmly and took a sip of his drink.

"Um...how did you...how did you know you liked boys?" Xiao Jian stared intently at Qiu Jie, waiting for his answer.

"Actually, I used to have a girlfriend. Hehe, it's a long story. I met Zhao Yezhi in an online game. We always teamed up to fight monsters and chatted when we had free time. I found that we had a lot in common, so we asked each other out. But even after meeting so many times, I never thought I would fall in love with a man. Then, by accident, we ended up having sex." Qiu Jie's face turned slightly red as he said this, but Xiao Jian's face turned even redder than Qiu Jie's after hearing it.

"And then? You...you fell in love with him?" Xiao Jian continued to ask.

"No, how could that be? Later, that bastard Zhao Yezhi said he would take responsibility, but I knew Li Muqing was his lover at the time, so I had to leave. There's no question of men being at a disadvantage, but it's really hard to continue playing the game without a capable helper! I had no choice but to give in to that kid." After saying that, Qiu Jie laughed loudly, but Xiao Jian was completely confused.

"You mean... you only got together with Zhao Yezhi for the sake of the game...?" Xiao Jian stared wide-eyed at Qiu Jie.

"Oh, Xiao Jian, you have absolutely no sense of humor... Do you think I'm the kind of person who would date someone just for a game? I was just saying... I think you're the only one in the whole world who would believe such nonsense. Should I say you're silly or cute?"

"I...I really thought it was because of the game..." Xiao Jian drank another glass of wine because he felt bad.

"Finished asking? Now it's my turn to ask you, right?" Qiu Jie looked at Xiao Jian with a mischievous grin and asked.

"Ask me...? What do I have to ask?" Xiao Jian looked at Qiu Jie in confusion.

"You're suddenly asking me all this... does it mean you have a crush on some boy?"

"Cough cough..." Xiao Jian choked on his drink after hearing this. He coughed a few times and looked at Qiu Jie awkwardly: "How...how could this be!"

"Why is it impossible? Xiao Jian, you're too naive. You wear your heart on your sleeve; it's hard for anyone not to notice." Qiu Jie handed Xiao a napkin.

"I...I have a girlfriend!" Xiao Jian emphasized.

"Do you love her?" Qiu Jie asked.

“Hmm… love…” Xiao Jian answered rather hesitantly.

"real?"

"Bar……"

"Big brother, can you just say it all in one breath? How can you punctuate like that! Go back to elementary school and study Chinese again!" Qiu Jie looked defeated by Xiao Jian.

"I've never been in a relationship, I don't know what love is. My feelings for Wang Ting... I guess it's love, but I don't know." After a few drinks, Xiao Jian spoke more fluently.

"What about Li Muqing?" Qiu Jie asked directly.

"What... what happened to Li Muqing?" Xiao Jian, who thought everything was fine, started stammering as soon as he heard the name Li Muqing.

Do you love him?

"No! I don't love them! I like girls!" Xiao Jian hurriedly defended himself.

“But that’s not what you think,” Qiu Jie laughed.

"Huh?" Xiao Jian touched his face, thinking, "No way?"

"Your face screams: I'm lying," Qiu Jie joked.

"I...I didn't!" Xiao Jian protested.

"Okay, then let me ask you, who do you think about the most every day? Who do you miss the moment you don't see them? Who are you most afraid of making angry? Whose smiling face do you most want to see? Who would you do anything to help them with everything?"

"yes……"

"Speak, who is it?" Qiu Jie looked confident as he picked up his wine glass and took a sip. He looked at Xiao Jian, waiting for him to utter the name Li Muqing.

“My mom and Aunt Zhang,” Xiao Jian said calmly, but Qiu Jie spat out the mouthful of wine he had just drunk.

"You have a mother complex?! Why do you think about your mother so much every day?!" Qiu Jie was defeated by Xiao Jian once again.

"But... my mom has to do farm work during the day and take care of Aunt Zhang at night. I'm worried her health won't be able to handle it, and Aunt Zhang just lost..."

"Alright, alright, I'm not interested in your family gossip. I mean, besides your mom and that Aunt Zhang, who else is there?"

“And…” Xiao Jian fell into deep thought.

"Think carefully, who else could it be?" Qiu Jie wasn't in a hurry, because he knew there was no other answer.

Xiao Jian thought for a while, then suddenly widened his eyes and looked at Qiu Jie with a shocked expression.

"Wow, are you serious? It's just that you like a guy, why are you acting like you've fallen for a toad? In your eyes, is homosexuality so shameful?" Qiu Jie rolled his eyes at Xiao Jian and took a sip of his drink.

"No...no, I just never thought...I would fall in love with a boy..." Xiao Jian recalled how he felt when Li Muqing confessed to him. Nervous, excited, at a loss, and inexplicably thrilled and happy. But most of all, he was shocked, so much so that he fled Li Muqing's dormitory in a panic. He wasn't actually running away; he was struggling. Going from heterosexual to homosexual always involves a struggle, and Xiao Jian was no exception. However, while others' struggles were only momentary, Xiao Jian's struggle lasted for days. By the time he realized what had happened, everything had already changed.

"Xiao Jian, let me tell you, in one's life, it's rare to meet someone you love who also loves you back. Society already imposes so many constraints; do you think heterosexuals don't? In my opinion, that marriage certificate is a constraint on love. It's just that heterosexuals have societal constraints, while homosexuals have no protection whatsoever. So we should cherish this rare relationship even more. Don't think so much—don't worry about family, don't worry about societal opinions. In this life, you always have to live in the eyes of others. Isn't that tiring? You have to grasp your own happiness. Once happiness is gone, I wonder where you'll find a cure for regret!" Qiu Jie said these words to Xiao Jian earnestly. Hearing this, Xiao Jian suddenly felt admiration for Qiu Jie. If it weren't for Qiu Jie, he might still be in the dark, still wondering what his relationship with Li Muqing really was, still planning to continue his relationship with Wang Ting, and still causing Li Muqing continued heartbreak.

"Then... what can I do now? Li Muqing... he probably doesn't like me anymore."

"Hehe... I'll teach you!" Qiu Jie winked at Xiao Jian, looking confident.