Chapter 33 "I think I might love you a little."

Zhu Xu walked out of the private room, and He Yanzhou's figure had already disappeared into the corridor.

The terrain here was complicated, and she forgot how she came from. After wandering around for a while, she suddenly saw Zhao Siqiao around a corner. She was entangled with someone who was wearing a black work uniform, was burly, and had a fierce but regular face.

Zhu Xu vaguely felt that he had seen this person somewhere before, and after a moment he remembered that he was a bodyguard at this club.

Zhao Siqiao had already seen her.

Zhu Xu paused for a moment, then quickly stepped forward: "Which way is the exit?"

Zhao Siqiao didn't react immediately, but pointed in a direction: "Go straight, turn left and then right."

"I have to go now, you should go in and keep an eye on things."

Hey! Where are you going?

Zhu Xu did not answer and ran forward.

She slowed her pace slightly as she walked through the intricate corridors until a large, gold-framed door appeared before her. Through the dark brown glass, she saw his back.

Zhu Xu secretly breathed a sigh of relief, hearing his heels clicking on the marble floor, each sound seeming to pound on his heart.

She pushed open the door and went out. He was engrossed in smoking a cigarette, completely unaware of what was happening behind him.

Zhu Xu lowered her gaze and saw his other hand hanging lightly at his side. She mustered her courage, stepped forward, and slipped her fingertips into his palm. She paused for a moment, then gently grasped it.

He Yanzhou shifted slightly, turned his head to look at her, but said nothing.

Zhu Xu looked at him with his eyes: "I thought you had left."

"Finish this cigarette."

Are you... waiting for me?

"No."

Zhu Xu then asked, "Did you drive here yourself?"

“No.” He looked at her, his hand still relaxed at his side, letting her hold it, without pulling it away or responding.

Zhu Xu's palms were already sweaty, and he shamelessly asked, "...Would it be convenient for you to take me back?"

He Yanzhou didn't answer for the moment, but lowered his head to take the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled softly. The smoke spread around his face, and under the moonlight, his features were three-dimensional and exquisitely sculpted.

It was late at night, and the wind had stopped sometime earlier, leaving the air damp and cold.

He Yanzhou casually tossed his cigarette butt into the nearby trash can: "It's inconvenient."

Zhu Xu felt a jolt in his heart, and his hand loosened, only to be gripped tightly again the instant he released it. Zhu Xu's heart leaped again, pounding rapidly.

He looked at her and asked, "Why did you stop playing?"

Zhu Xu said, "I came out to find you."

He Yanzhou raised his tightly clenched hand and waved it in front of her eyes: "What is this?"

Zhu Xu met his gaze: "I have something to tell you."

People came and went around him from time to time. Those who came in were all dignified, but those who left revealed their true colors, reeking of alcohol, some with beautiful women in their arms, others nestled in the arms of young male models.

He Yanzhou avoided those people, took Zhu Xu's hand and walked down the steps, crossed the road, and came to the railing along the coastline.

He probably already had a guess in his heart that this might be a turning point between him and her, so his mood was as bright as the scenery before him, but his face still did not show any relief.

Zhu Xu faced him and said seriously, "Even if you weren't there, I wouldn't be like them."

He Yanzhou asked, "Why?"

She said in a very serious tone, "Having seen the ocean, how can you still appreciate a small stream?"

He Yanzhou remained silent for a moment, then his brows relaxed, and he turned his head to the side, unable to suppress a soft smile.

He said, "You chased after me just to say this?"

Zhu Xu shook his head: "Last time in your office, you said you wanted to hear the truth."

She paused, feeling incredibly nervous.

Taking the first step is difficult: "I..."

He Yanzhou swallowed hard, not wanting to make things difficult for her, but then he saw her looking at him through the damp, cold sea breeze, her gaze firm: "I think I... love you a little."

He Yanzhou paused for a breath and looked down at him.

Her face was clear and clean, the tip of her nose was slightly red, and her eyes in the darkness were clear and touching.

“If you haven’t changed your mind, I want to be with you.” Zhu Xu’s voice was soft, but incredibly firm, and it wasn’t drowned out by the loud background noise. “I still have no confidence in the future, but you’re right about something: I can’t fathom other people’s hearts, so perhaps I should follow my own feelings.” She paused. “Right now… I do care about you more.”

He Yanzhou's eyes softened as he looked at her for a long time, then murmured, "Really?"

Zhu Xu nodded, looked up to meet his gaze, and tried to smile, but the moment her lips curved into a smile, she realized her eyes were burning. She then pitifully pouted, "My mother told me to be strong inside, to rely on myself for everything, and not to depend on anyone. She also said that bad luck is only temporary, and that I should persevere and wait for things to bounce back." She sniffed, "But I almost forgot, she also told me that if I meet someone I like, I can bravely love him."

He Yanzhou's features relaxed, and a light smile appeared on his face. But after a moment, the smile faded, and his brows furrowed slightly as if touched by something. He gazed deeply at her, his eyes revealing only the gentlest of emotions—love, pity, gratitude—a complex mix of feelings.

He lowered his head and kissed her forehead, then pulled away immediately, looking back at her, waiting for her to continue.

Zhu Xu said, "I'm willing to be a gambler once, betting that my luck won't always be so bad."

"Mmm," he responded softly.

"It's all over now, isn't it?" She said this more to herself.

Repeating the same mistake wasn't because she was so courageous, but simply because it was him.

She blurted out all these words in a rapid-fire manner, her whole body extremely tense, to the point that her hands and feet were ice-cold and she was trembling all over.

He Yanzhou: "That's all?"

Zhu Xu sniffed and nodded.

He Yanzhou raised his arm and gently rubbed her head a few times. After a pause, he reached back and pulled her into his arms, cradling her by the back of her neck. His chest was filled, but he didn't realize it; he had never used so much strength to hug her before.

His voice was deep: "I'm very happy."

As if sensing that she was trembling, He Yanzhou pulled out the coat that she had been pressing down on, opened it, and wrapped her completely inside.

“Xiao Xu,” he called her, “I’m serious about you.”

Zhu Xu unconsciously gripped the back of his suit jacket, his throat choked with something, unable to breathe, unable to explain the sudden feeling of grievance.

No one but her mother had ever called her that.

He Yanzhou said slowly, "Let's treat this as a brand new beginning and start over?"

Zhu Xu: "Hmm."

“We’re both past the age of joking and fooling around. I’ve thought carefully about our future together, and I believe you’ve also considered your decision for a long time. I don’t want to be the one who turns on the lights first when I get home. I hope that every time I open the door, the room will be bright and you will be there.” He stroked her hair. “Life in the future may not be like a lens with a filter; there will be noise and flaws. I hope we can face them together and treat each other honestly.”

Zhu Xu buried her face in his chest, nodded, and then belatedly raised her face, "But I don't have confidence."

Take your time.

Zhu Xu looked at him and said, "This might not be fair to you. I can't give my all. I'm selfish and I have to weigh things. For you, it's just a little... a lot."

He smiled and said, "That's enough. Love yourself first, then love me."

The answer was impeccable, dispelling the last trace of anxiety and hesitation in her heart. For some reason, Zhu Xu's vision blurred, and she quickly lowered her gaze. After a moment, she stood on tiptoe, raised her chin, and kissed him.

He Yanzhou hooked his arm around her waist and returned her kiss deeply. He had been looking forward to this moment for a long time. The entanglement between them was much longer than she knew. What did it matter if it made up for the regrets, even if it was just a little or all of it?

He closed his eyes and gently kissed her lips.

The sea in the distance was still, its color blending seamlessly with the sky. Everything seemed to be asleep.

Much later, when Zhu Xu was almost frozen stiff, He Yanzhou released her.

His car was parked in a nearby parking lot, and the two walked towards it, arm in arm. Before they even got close, the lights came on, and the car started moving ahead of time.

He Yanzhou first opened the back door for Zhu Xu, waited for her to sit down, then closed it behind her before going around to the other side and sitting down.

After exchanging pleasantries with Zhu Xu, Zheng Zhigang turned to Zhu Xu and asked, "President He, where are we going?"

He Yanzhou reported Zhu Xu's home address.

The car drove steadily along the coastal highway, the heater on full blast, and soon Zhu Xu felt warm again. From her angle, she could see the passenger seat and noticed a bouquet of red roses on it, the arrangement and style of which seemed somewhat familiar.

She turned her head and glanced at He Yanzhou.

He Yanzhou noticed this, leaned over, took the flowers, and handed them to her: "I went to the flower shop to look for you this evening, but you weren't there. I thought these flowers were nice, so I bought a bouquet."

Zhu Xu, holding the roses, asked, "Are these for me?"

He Yanzhou nodded: "I was originally planning to go to your house after the dinner."

Zhu Xu suddenly remembered something and still had a question in her mind: "How did you go into the private room with those people just now?" Fearing it might affect him, she omitted the word "male model".

"I don't know. I first saw you go into the room across the hall, and then I saw a row of men go in, so I went over to take a look." He said casually, glancing at her, his expression still somewhat displeased: "The woman who just came in told me to stand over there."

Zhu Xu muttered, "They're quite obedient."

"You seem quite unhappy?" He Yanzhou asked. "Did I stop you from choosing someone else?"

"I wouldn't dare," Zhu Xu said, looking down at the flowers in his hand. "Why do you like red roses?"

He Yanzhou glanced over.

The topic jumped around quite a bit, but I still followed her train of thought and replied, "You can speak your mind freely."

Zhu Xu felt a little pleased and asked again, "Can you distinguish the varieties of red roses?"

"Don't they all look the same?" He Yanzhou raised his chin. "What breed is this?"

"Highland red"

He Yanzhou didn't say anything more.

The conversation ended there, and the car fell silent.

Zhu Xu stared at the flowers, lost in thought for a moment.

His arm remained draped over the center armrest, kneading her hand bones intermittently, his fingertips tracing her soft palm, and he couldn't help but lightly scratch it: "What are you thinking about?"

Zhu Xu shook his head, withdrew his hand, and plucked a slightly withered branch from the bouquet. Rose petals rot easily unless the person growing the flowers takes good care of them.

She carefully removed the wilted outer layers, revealing the still vibrant and lustrous core.

"Here, this is for you." Zhu Xu handed the branch to He Yanzhou.

He Yanzhou reached out and took it.

Zhu Xu smiled and said, "I hope it can stay with you for a while."

He Yanzhou paused, instantly understanding the meaning of those words. He then turned his gaze away and solemnly replied, "The flowers are beautiful. Please don't worry."

The car stopped on the narrow road near Zhu Xu's house. The headlights illuminated the road ahead, revealing the uneven surface.

He Yanzhou retrieved the spare toiletries bag from the car and told Zheng Zhi to go back and pick him up early the next morning. Clearly, he was prepared for Zheng Zhi to stay overnight.

The two hadn't been together for a long time, and Zhu Xu's heart was pounding. He was both nervous and excited, but also inexplicably a little scared.

She kept her head down as she walked, and halfway there, He Yanzhou took her hand. He didn't say anything, but just glanced at her for a moment, slightly curving his lips, before turning his gaze back to the distance ahead.

The two stepped onto the old stairwell one after the other, where the overhead lighting was extremely dim.

I unlocked the door and entered; the hallway light came on.

No one spoke, yet something filled the air, waiting for a spark to ignite it.

Zhu Xu bent down to change her shoes, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw He Yanzhou skillfully take out a pair of men's slippers from the shoe cabinet. She then saw him casually take off his overcoat and suit jacket and hang them on the coat hooks on the wall. There were only a few coat hooks, and next to them was her apricot-colored sweater, a small piece of clothing that was mostly covered by his overcoat. They looked like two people tightly embracing each other, too intimate and affectionate.

She couldn't help but look up at him, only to meet his gaze. In the dim light, his eyes were as black as ink.

"What are you thinking about so secretly?" He slowly unbuttoned his cuffs, his voice soft and slightly hoarse.

Zhu Xu: "No."

He Yanzhou rolled up his shirt sleeves and walked closer to her: "You look at me like I could eat you up." The corridor was small, and he took a few steps and was already in front of her.

"..." Zhu Xu followed up by asking, "Are you hungry?"

"What's there to eat?" He lowered his head and kissed her without warning.

The bouquet of roses fell to the ground.

Zhu Xu seemed to freeze in place.

He was still rolling up his sleeves, only slightly hunched over, his lips pressed against hers, paused for two seconds, then his tongue slipped inside, gently sucking on her lips.

Zhu Xu had no support and stumbled back two steps, tripping over something and swaying unsteadily. A pair of hands steadied her just in time; his shirt sleeves were rolled up, revealing a strong, muscular arm that was tightly wrapped around her narrow, supple waist.

Zhu Xu passively responded to his kiss, her back arching back almost to a right angle, while he arched his back and pressed down, perfectly matching her.

Zhu Xu: "Wait a minute..."

"What?" he murmured against her lips, his kisses becoming even more intense, from the corners of her lips to her ears, and then lingering on her neck.

The surrounding silence amplified the damp, sucking sounds.

Something surged within Zhu Xu's body, uncontrollable. Yet his reactions grew increasingly sluggish.

He Yanzhou, dissatisfied, parted his arms slightly and stared into her eyes: "Where did your skills go from outside?"

How can they be the same? One was just a kiss, the other a kiss was just the first step. Though I've been with him countless times, today was especially moving, filled with both longing and timidity.

Zhu Xu gasped for breath and took the opportunity to back away two steps. Only then did he realize that the buttons on his cardigan had been undone at some point, and the undershirt had also been moved, swaying with his steps, half-concealing and half-revealing, completely meaningless.

He Yanzhou's eyes darkened.

Zhu Xu futilely pulled his cardigan tighter: "I'm going to take a shower first."

She walked past him and strode into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

I quickly took off my clothes, turned on the shower, and found that the shower was already soaked. I was afraid that if I was too shy, I would go even crazier and lose control later.

She bit her lip hard to restrain herself, and stood in the warm water, quickly rinsing her hair and body.

Not long after, the doorknob was pressed down twice, and He Yanzhou's silhouette was reflected in the frosted glass.

Zhu Xu turned off the shower.

He Yanzhou leaned against the door frame: "It's already very late, please make the most of your time."

Zhu Xu said, "I'll be fine soon."

"Together?"

Zhu Xu: "No."

He Yanzhou didn't say anything, lingered at the door for a moment, then turned and walked away.

Zhu Xu didn't deliberately delay, quickly rinsing off the soap and wringing out the excess water from her hair. Before she could turn off the shower, her phone rang from the direction of the living room.

Zhu Xu listened carefully and realized it was his turn, so he raised his voice and called out, "Help me answer it."

"It's not very convenient," he said after a long pause.

Who is it?

He didn't answer. Footsteps approached from afar, and the white figure was reflected in the glass again: "Open the door, I'll hand it to you."

The ringing continued unabated; this time likely belonged to Zhao Siqiao.

Zhu Xu was almost completely off guard. He unlocked the door and reached out to take the phone.

The cold air from outside slipped in through the open glass door.

When she saw the name He Yanzhou displayed on the screen, her heart skipped a beat. Looking up, she saw him leaning casually against the door, a slight smile on his lips, as if admiring something. His gaze moved from top to bottom, then slowly returned along the same path.

Zhu Xu was deeply agitated by the aggressive tone of the man's words. She took a deep breath and decided to be blunt: "Your move is too naive."

"I still managed to fool you."

Zhu Xu raised his chin: "So, are you coming in, or am I going out?"

"It will be all right."

Without a moment's hesitation, Zhu Xu stepped forward, raised her hand, grabbed his shirt collar, and pulled him towards her with some force. He Yanzhou couldn't help but raise an eyebrow slightly, but didn't struggle, and followed her pull.

Zhu Xu looked into his eyes and backed away until she was enveloped in heat again. Water streamed down her back, and she had unknowingly walked to the showerhead.

The bathroom was filled with warm steam and a faint fragrance.

She was as clean as white porcelain, while he was dressed neatly.

She was soaking wet, but his clothes were dry and without a single wrinkle.

He Yanzhou's eyes were deep and dark, and he couldn't help but swallow lightly. The visual contrast was almost overwhelming his reason.

He took a step forward, but she stopped him by pressing her fingertips against his chest: "Was that person's description accurate?"

He Yanzhou asked in a hoarse voice, "Who?"

"I'd say your skills are top-notch."

"It was a misunderstanding," he said, staring at her. "But we just met, why are you playing dumb?"

"I don't fully understand it."

He Yanzhou felt she was courting death and deliberately provoking him. He pulled his grip on the finger away, took two steps closer, and raised his hand to her side to test the water temperature: "How do you want to understand?"

Zhu Xu bit her lip, looking at him with misty eyes: "Kneel down?"