15 Motivation

Yang Xiao and Zhou Qi were not assigned to the same carriage. She went to her seat first and was about to put her schoolbag and change of clothes on the train storage rack. As soon as she put down one of her schoolbag straps, Zhou Qi stepped forward and said, "I'll do it."

Zhou Qi was carrying the cakes and clothes he'd bought for Zhou Daye in his right hand, so he had to take Yang Xiao's things with his left hand and, with a little effort, placed them on the shelf. To prevent them from rolling, he gave them another push. Yang Xiao stood nearby, observing the subtle muscle lines in his arms, the black watch on his wrist, and immediately looked away.

After taking her seat, her mind was still a bit confused until the train started. Suddenly, she thought of the clichéd and tooth-splitting line from "Good Things": "Brother, do you like to hold my hand with your left hand or your right hand?" So, would Zhou Qi hold his sister on the phone with his left hand or his right hand? Thinking of this, Yang Xiao could no longer bear these random thoughts. She shook her head and thought to herself that she would never look at anything given by Mao Mao again.

When we arrived in Lu Town, the sun was setting and the weather was getting cooler. From the alley in front of Zhou's house, the faint aroma of rice drifted, punctuated by coughs and the barking of dogs.

"Uncle Zhou is talking secretly again. Zhou Qi, do you hear him coughing?" Yang Xiao pointed to the alley and looked at Zhou Qi.

"It must be Dad who is coughing. He might have caught a cold due to the change of seasons." Zhou Qi looked at Yang Xiao, who was almost one with the night, and couldn't help teasing her: "Do you have coal digging activities during your military training?" After saying that, he smiled and pushed open the half-closed door of the Zhou family's house.

Yang Xiao was unhappy when she heard this, and she started to fight back as she stepped over the threshold: "Didn't your girlfriend tell you not to comment on girls casually, including their skin color." As soon as she finished speaking, she stepped over the threshold and saw Uncle Zhou busy around the stone table. Yang Xiao immediately put the things in the inner room on the first floor and came out to help.

"Did Zhou Qi have a girlfriend?" Zhou Daye said a complete sentence while serving his rice, which was rare, without any pauses. Zhou Qi realized that Yang Xiao must have heard Miao Yue talking to him last time, so he explained, "No, she's the daughter of the hospital leader."

"Really? You sounded angry the other day, and I thought I was in trouble. If you two get into a fight, I'll be guilty." Yang Xiao took the bowl of rice from Zhou Daye, not realizing the ambiguity in her words. "Wow! It smells so good!" Zhou Qi didn't know what to say. He picked up a piece of pork ribs and gave it to Zhou Daye, then picked up another piece for Yang Xiao: "Eat some pork ribs."

Yang Xiao felt that Zhou Qi seemed reluctant to talk about this matter, so she didn't mention it. In short, the small stone hanging in her heart fell. Although Yang Xiao didn't understand all this, she was really worried that the timing of the call that day was wrong and it would ruin the atmosphere of their date.

As I was thinking, I heard Zhou Daye breathing tiredly while sitting on the stone bench.

Seeing this, Zhou Qi immediately put down his bowl and chopsticks and asked, "Dad, are you feeling unwell?" Zhou Daye shook his head and said that this is how it is with old age. As you get older, you get tired easily. I had only stirred the spoon a few times, but I felt tired. Zhou Qi then asked if there was anything wrong with his digestion or sleep. After receiving a negative answer, he picked up his bowl.

After dinner, Zhou Dashe went back to his room to rest. Yang Xiao and Zhou Qi, as usual, tidied up the stone table and sat in the courtyard to enjoy the cool breeze. Gusts of wind blew, carrying the faint scent of osmanthus flowers. Autumn was approaching. The yellow orchids in the courtyard were also blooming less frequently.

Zhou Qi asked Yang Xiao about her school life, and Yang Xiao answered, spilling the beans like, "I'm used to it," "My roommates are easy to get along with," "The military training instructors love to punish people," "I still haven't figured out what my homeroom teacher's temper is like," and so on. Zhou Qi listened, occasionally offering a bit of humor, "Xiaoer's so lucky," or "Xiaoer didn't get punished, did he?" The silence was complete, save for the back-and-forth between the two of them, and the occasional vibrating sound of Zhou Qi's phone in his pocket.

After Zhou Qi took out his cell phone, glanced at the message and turned it to silent mode, Yang Xiao couldn't help but ask him: "Are you busy lately? Or has something happened?" Zhou Qi raised his eyebrows, a little surprised. To him, Yang Xiao has always been the type of person who only answers but doesn't ask any further questions. Why is she curious about him today?

"It's nothing, don't guess." Looking at the half-grown child in front of him, Zhou Qi knew that he shouldn't let her know about these troubles.

Even to Zhou Dashe, he couldn't honestly tell her that his latest worry was that he was being pestered by a girl. Yang Xiao saw that he didn't intend to tell her, and since pressing him was fruitless, she feigned a yawn and went upstairs. Her legs moved naturally up the stairs, but her mind had already drifted away.

Was it from that older sister? Did Zhou Qi dislike her? If he didn't like her, why did he leave her contact information? He allowed her to send so many messages. What had changed about Zhou Qi?

The more she thought about it, the more she felt something was wrong. She trotted downstairs again. As she reached the stairs, she saw Zhou Qi holding his phone. The screen lit up, illuminating his face. The background was a pitch-black night with a few scattered stars. Why hadn't she noticed before that Zhou Qi was quite good-looking? Yang Xiao touched her face and walked towards him.

Hearing the clattering sound of feet descending the stairs, Zhou Qi knew Yang Xiao was coming down again. A quick glance revealed her standing motionless at the foot of the stairs, perhaps being kind enough to feed mosquitoes? Seeing her approach, Zhou Qi put away his phone and looked at her, asking what was wrong. "I don't think you can do this, Zhou Qi," Yang Xiao said, though she nervously touched her nose afterward.

"What's wrong with me?" Zhou Qi was puzzled. How could this kid, who had just been in the city for half a month of military training, come back and start talking in riddles? He looked into her eyes, puzzled, waiting for her to continue, as if to accuse him of his crimes. "If you don't like that girl, you shouldn't have given her her contact information. Or you should have rejected her directly and told her, 'I, Zhou Qi, don't like you, and you don't need to message me anymore.' It's wrong to keep her hanging like this." After a long, drawn-out speech, Yang Xiao's mouth was dry with nervousness.

Zhou Qi listened, but didn't rush to answer her. He still felt it was inappropriate to discuss relationship issues with an underage girl, but he should answer the question Yang Xiao raised instead of avoiding it. "Okay, I know, I'll make it clear to her." Zhou Qi didn't intend to explain his situation to Yang Xiao on this issue, so he just went along with what she said.

"That's good. Zhou Qi, I know you think I'm young and what I say sounds like a dream. But I still want to tell you that you will miss a lot of things if you hesitate." Yang Xiao lectured him in a serious manner, and it seemed like she was going to take out a ruler in the next second and tell him that if he didn't listen to her, he would be spanked.

At that time, after hearing this, Zhou Qi felt that Yang Xiao seemed to have grown up, no longer the child who would retaliate for a few lychees. But he never thought that what 15-year-old Yang Xiao said would come true years later.

The days in Luzhen passed quickly. Yang Xiao still woke up early every day to prepare for her textbooks. At noon, she would learn chess with Zhou Daye in the courtyard. In the afternoon, she would learn to cook from Zhou Daye and Zhou Qi. In the evening, she would find some books to read. Occasionally, after a meal, to digest her food, she would unconsciously walk downstairs to Mao Qiu's house, but the curtains were always closed and the door was locked.

Did even Maoqiu's father move away? Yang Xiao didn't know, but it felt like seeing Maoqiu again was becoming increasingly difficult. She wondered how she'd been doing lately, how her health was recovering, and whether she'd made any new friends like she had. With her cheerful and cheerful personality, she must be very popular. Thinking of this, Yang Xiao couldn't help but feel happy for her.

On the day when Yang Xiao packed up to return to school, she was actually a little reluctant to leave.

But she knew that she was nostalgic for her home, not Lu Town.

As she left the house, she kept looking back, seeing Zhou Daye waving at her. It reminded her of the poem "Back Figure." Human emotions are so universal, and the scenes of parting are so similar. She felt like crying, but she held it back, afraid Zhou Daye and Zhou Qi would see her.

On the return trip, she and Zhou Qi were finally in the same carriage. Zhou Qi sat diagonally in front of her. As the train departed, he pulled out a book to read, occasionally sketching with his pen. Yang Xiao secretly observed him, unsure of his motives. But she felt Zhou Qi's future would be bright. He was a hard-working man, and hardworking people would never be let down by fate.

Thinking of this, Yang Xiao also took out the textbook from her schoolbag and started reading, imitating him.

The carriage was noisy, with the sounds of babies crying, adults talking, and the smell of food intertwined, but they were so immersed in their books, as if they were isolated from the world. After the arrival announcement sounded, the two of them left the carriage one after another.

Once again, Zhou Qi walked her to the school gate and left after she disappeared. But this time, Yang Xiao turned around the corner, turned back, and hid at the plaque at the school gate, watching Zhou Qi leave. She became increasingly confused about her own motives. She began to observe and imitate Zhou Qi's behavior, knowing that he used to use chopsticks at two-thirds of the way up, that he took one step, and that he could handle pressure with ease simply because he was smart and hardworking, just like his exercise books filled with derivations and corrections to wrong answers. She understood him more and more, but it seemed she didn't understand him enough.

After thinking it over, Yang Xiao concluded that she wanted to be Zhou Qi.

She wanted to be the Zhou Qi in everyone's eyes, not just Zhou Qi. She wanted others to no longer refer to her as someone to Zhou Qi when they mentioned her. She didn't want to become a word that described Zhou Qi, or a foil to Zhou Qi. She wanted to be Yang Xiao, a Yang Xiao who was even more powerful than Zhou Qi.

So she came out from behind the plaque and strode towards the teaching building.