30 Anxiety

The car slowly pulled into the hotel parking lot and barely stopped. Yang Xiao couldn't wait to jump out. The silence along the way was unbearable for her. She didn't understand why Zhou Qi was always so conflicted. On the one hand, he cared about her, but on the other, he distanced himself from her and avoided her. Was it because, in his heart, he couldn't accept the relationship between foster siblings?

Then you should stay away from her even more, and it would be best if you never see her again in this life.

"Can I pick you up tomorrow? What time's your flight?" Zhou Qi got out of the car, closed the door, and pressed the key. Without hesitation, he locked the car and followed Yang Xiao closely. The wind from the parking lot blew Yang Xiao's hair into her eyes. She reached out and tied it with the leather strap around her wrist, then walked towards the elevator without stopping.

Zhou Qi's nose was filled with Yang Xiao's scent, a fresh soapy scent mixed with citrus perfume, vague and inexplicably reassuring. The leather rope had left a red mark on her wrist, which was particularly noticeable on her slender white wrist. Zhou Qi subconsciously tilted his head to avoid the red mark that seemed to burn his eyes.

After Yang Xiao finished tying her hair, she stopped and turned around to look at Zhou Qi with annoyance. The loose hair that she had just tucked behind her ears was picked up by the wind and danced with it again, making the dance messy. "Zhou Qi, don't you understand or see that I am rejecting you?" She didn't want to continue this meaningless entanglement, so she simply directed her annoyance and anxiety at Zhou Qi again, venting it all at once, "You rejected me before, and I didn't bother you again, right? What do you mean now? Are you lonely and bored in class and want to have some fun? I can't accompany you."

Zhou Qi's eyes darkened for a moment, then he lowered them and smiled, "I'm not looking for fun, I'm looking for you. I just want to take you back to the hotel and hope you get to Beijing safely." He even thought it was strange after he finished speaking, and it must have sounded even more ridiculous to Yang Xiao, "Come in, it's so hot outside."

Yang Xiao truly found him strange and inexplicable. When she was touched and groped at the dinner table, when her car was vandalized while she was traveling alone with two children from the project team to Africa, and when a drunk whistled at her on the street after work at four in the morning, where was he and his unnecessary concern now?

After all, delayed concern is the most pretentious.

"You could have checked my flight number." Yang Xiao turned and walked away, her anger growing. Today's situation was so undignified. Seeing him brought back memories of myself three years ago, standing before him, trembling all over, tears streaming down my cheeks like worthless drops, hitting my neck and collar. My wet bangs clung to my forehead, and like a drowned dog, I asked him, "Is my future really that important?" In the few seconds he remained silent, I even clung to a glimmer of hope. This was truly humiliating.

"Okay, I'll wait for you in the lobby tomorrow. If you like, you can take my car." Zhou Qi avoided her gloomy and provocative tone and took another step forward. "I saw the weather forecast. It might rain in Chaoyang tomorrow. Take a coat and put it in your bag."

Yang Xiao's heart began to feel like it was being squeezed tightly. Her heartbeat grew louder, thumping against her chest so loud she could barely hear what Zhou Qi was saying. Her hands couldn't help but go numb, and the foreign body sensation in her throat returned, making it difficult to swallow and even suffocating. Her old problem had returned.

"I'm leaving first." Yang Xiao forced herself to walk towards the elevator, her legs almost unable to move, and pressed the close button. The elevator door slowly closed. Through the increasingly narrow gap, she caught a glimpse of Zhou Qi's nervous expression, but she didn't dare to look at him again. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, the elevator had become an irregular, twisted shape, sometimes larger, sometimes smaller. Then she began to sweat, beads of sweat densely packed on her forehead like a spider web. Her legs began to feel unable to stand, limp and unable to move.

The elevator doors opened. She plopped down on her knees, tears welling up before the pain in her knees. "Ma'am, are you okay?" a hotel staff member hurried over to her from the corridor. "If you feel unwell, I'll call an ambulance," she said, pulling out the intercom from her waistband.

Yang Xiao grabbed her arm and shook her head repeatedly. Tears blurred her vision, making it difficult for her to see the staff member's face. She felt her consciousness floating in the air again, looking down at her collapsed self, and the staff squatting beside her, trying to help her up. The familiar feeling of near-death, like her soul leaving her body, came over her again.

"Receptionist, this is the east elevator entrance on the 23rd floor. There's a woman collapsed on the ground. Her condition is unknown. Should we call an ambulance?" The staff member helped Yang Xiao sit on the sofa at the elevator entrance and called the receptionist. As soon as she finished speaking, Yang Xiao grabbed the corner of her clothes and continued to shake her head, "I... just take it easy."

Seeing her sweaty face, the staff member took out some paper and wiped her sweat. "Ma'am, you can hear me, right? You should go to the hospital. I've asked the front desk to call an ambulance for you. I'll accompany you to the hospital, don't worry."

In the hotel lobby, the front desk immediately contacted an ambulance. Seeing Yang Xiao's pale face as she came upstairs, Zhou Qi sat on the sofa in the lobby and thought of one plausible excuse after another. Then, he frantically searched the car inside and out to see if there was anything Yang Xiao had left behind. Then, he asked Fang Qiu for her new phone number to ask how she was doing.

As soon as Fang Qiu sent the number, he saw an ambulance parked at the door. The east elevator door opened, revealing Yang Xiao and a staff member supporting her. Yang Xiao walked slowly, her body hunched over, her head drooping weakly, her loose hair covering most of her face.

It was Yang Xiao. By the time Zhou Qi realized what was happening, he had already scooped her up by the waist. Just a few steps away, his mind went blank, his heart pounding like it was about to burst. Anxiety, panic, and nervousness washed over him. His usual composure when facing the patient vanished when he learned it was Yang Xiao, especially when he felt her tremble slightly in his arms.

The bright incandescent lights in the hospital blinded Yang Xiao. She clutched Zhou Qi's arm tightly, like a piece of driftwood in a drowning state. Zhou Qi asked a colleague for a thin blanket, spread it out, and prepared to cover her legs. Looking down, he saw that her knees had also begun to turn purple from the impact, a shocking sight.

Strangely, the test results showed no obvious abnormalities.

The senior sister in the emergency room winked at him and called him aside. Zhou Qi didn't dare to use too much force and could only slightly break free from Yang Xiao's grip on his arm.

"Zhou Qi, I think this is the embodiment of anxiety." The senior sister adjusted her glasses without jumping to conclusions. She patted his shoulder, took out the pen from her pocket, and took out a note with a phone number and address for him. "Go and take a look."

By the time Zhou Qi returned, Yang Xiao had calmed down a bit, but her expression was filled with exhaustion. She set the neatly folded thin blanket aside and prepared to return to the hotel. Seeing Zhou Qi return, she said, "I don't need your sympathy." Then, she slowly stood up and was about to leave.

Zhou Qi said nothing, taking two or three steps over to embrace her gently. The embrace she had longed for so long, so desperately, came so unexpectedly, without a single warning. After nine years, twenty-five-year-old Yang Xiao finally felt what she had longed for at sixteen. So, should she be happy now, or content? Sixteen-year-old Yang Xiao would probably cry tears of joy.

But twenty-five-year-old Yang Xiao felt nothing but bewilderment and anger. She was furious at how embarrassed and pathetic she felt when she fell into her old ways in front of him, and also furious at how easily his embrace came, as worthless as her feelings. So, what role did she really play in his heart? A plaything to be summoned and dismissed at will? But she couldn't afford to play with him.

Anxiety forced her to perform tightrope acrobatics. Every time she missed a step and fell off the wire, about to be shattered to pieces, she miraculously found her way back onto it. Time and again, she experienced the near-death experience of missing a step, but her tightrope walking skills remained unchanged. She pushed Zhou Qi away and walked away without looking back, letting him chase her.

Arriving at the hotel, she fished out the medicine from her bag and swallowed it with a bottle of mineral water. Then, limply, she lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her exhausted body refused to sleep. She felt she was almost recovered, almost a normal person. So, under the pretext of discussing the project, she returned to the city, unconvinced. This time, as long as she could remain emotionally unmoved by this land, she would be a victory.

But she happened to meet Zhou Qi.

Her psychologist was right. Zhou Qi was a depth bomb to her, capable of stirring up her almost calm heart at any time.

A few days ago, as she sat on the flight back to the city, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes to rest, she thought that she might run into Zhou Qi on her return. After all, this was a small place, and fate always played tricks on her.

But when she got off the plane, she smelled the familiar scent of the city, but she did not feel any physical or mental reaction.

So, she thought she was ready.

And so, fate didn't let her off. Outside the restaurant where they were discussing the project, Yang Xiao ran into Fang Qiu, who hadn't seen her for years and was still as enthusiastic as ever. She had no choice but to accept his invitation and go to his shop. Sitting on a high stool at the bar, she felt so anxious and worried that whenever she heard the wind chimes at the shop entrance, her alarm would flare up and she would glance out of the corner of her eye to see who was coming.

Yang Xiao couldn't explain the current state of her mind. She dreaded meeting Zhou Qi, fearing he'd easily break down her painstakingly constructed facade. But she also hoped, or perhaps longed, to see him again, so she could say, "Long time no see," expressionlessly, as if to prove she'd recovered. But she'd overestimated her own ability to recover and underestimated the importance Zhou Qi held in her heart.

The night deepens.

Zhou Qi sat in the hotel lobby, his hands resting on his forehead, feeling exhausted. He had just finished his night shift when he received a message from Fang Qiu saying that Yang Xiao had come to the store and would be leaving tomorrow. He drove to the store without hesitation, got out of the car, and stood at the door, gazing at Yang Xiao from afar as she sat at the bar.

The afternoon sun shone brightly on the glass, casting a dazzling white light. He couldn't see Yang Xiao clearly, only her vague silhouette. He subconsciously moved toward her, but hesitated. He approached the window and raised his hand through the thick glass, wanting to touch her soft hair.

Then he felt regretful, thinking his actions were really unwise. When he heard her news, he actually forgot about the group of people following him. It was he who exposed Yang Xiao's location. Zhou Qi smiled bitterly and then pushed open the shop door.

In that case, let’s send her back to Beijing safely.