Chapter 22 "I have my own sun."

Yuanxin is from Chaoshan and grew up in a town in Xiapu. The village is close to the mountain and she can reach the beach by riding a scooter. Her first memory in life is her mother waking her up from her warm bed and wiping her delicate face with a towel wrung out with warm water. Only after that did she willingly get up from the wooden bed, put on a navy skirt and a sun hat, and finally apply thick skin care oil on her face to prevent her skin from being reddened by the sea breeze.

Breakfast was usually stir-fried rice noodles with rapeseed and shredded carrots. Yuanxin called carrots carrots, something she hated. Her mother would smother the rice noodles with soy sauce to color them and make them more appetizing. She initially disliked breakfast, but her mother would tell her that if she got hungry, there would be nothing to eat at the beach. She thought her mother was just bluffing, but only after two meals of starvation did she realize she needed to eat a full meal before leaving the house.

After breakfast, her mother would take her to the beach on her electric scooter. If she felt too sleepy, she'd make her a rice ball filled with pork floss, seaweed, and dried shrimp. She'd spread a small beach cloth on the beach and sit on it to eat. Her mother would leave Yuanxin with one task: watch the sun.

When they went out, it was just dawn. When the sun was bright, Yuanxin would run to the shore with her small beach cloth to find Grandma Seahorse, and place the beach cloth neatly next to Grandma Seahorse to reserve a place, waiting for the adults to move the goods from the fishing boat over.

Yuanxin's father owned a small fishing boat with a heavy net. Every morning at 5:00 AM and again at 3:00 PM, the boat would return to shore, its nets, carried on the deck, usually brimming with fish and shrimp. Those who ventured out to sea depended on fate; a full or empty net was a blessing, so they cherished everything within. Yuanxin's mother was meticulous, carefully removing the shrimp from the net one by one each day, ensuring they kept their heads and bodies intact. She often bent over, her head bowed, and hours passed like this.

Grandma Seahorse would chat with Yuanxin for a while before the adults came. There was a small white spot on her face. She said that the white spot was because she once picked up a white seahorse and put it on the bedside. The seahorse disappeared after Grandma fell asleep. When she woke up the next day, there was a white spot on her face. If you look closely, it looks like a seahorse pattern.

Ten-year-old Yuan Xin held Grandma Seahorse's face in her hands, looking left and right, and she couldn't believe it looked like her. Grandma waved her hand, saying, "It doesn't look like it, so what?" Then she spread the thick tarpaulin her grandson had handed her from the fishing boat and poured the bucket of seafood they had caught onto the tarpaulin.

The tarpaulins at Yuanxin's house were surprisingly easy to distinguish. She'd used a permanent marker to draw patterns on the right spots for each type of fish: shrimp where shrimp should be, monkfish where fish should be. Monkfish was her favorite, and her father would open one every day to reveal the pink belly, overflowing with fish and shrimp, a way to attract customers. Since no one knew what to expect from their own monkfish, Yuanxin was curious. Her father would grab her hand from behind, and she, clutching a sharp knife, would begin to open the monkfish's belly.

That was the earliest blind box I had ever opened in my life. The sea haze at night was like a pink dream with steam rising. No one knew if there was a band hidden behind the clouds.

Yuan Xin watched the sun for years, watched her father peel many monkfish, saw her mother succumb to cancer when she was twelve, saw her become the one peeling shrimp when she was fourteen, saw her father fall ill from a fit of rage when she was fifteen, sometimes lucid and sometimes confused, sleeping when he lay down and eating when he was lifted up. At sixteen, Yuan Xin rarely went to the beach anymore, and would just sit in the sun at home. When the sun saw the spot where the tarpaulin could have been, it would call her father to get up and eat.

On the day her father passed away, Yuan Xin looked at the sun for a long time and felt that there was a dragon palace in the sun. She rubbed her eyes and called her father, but he would not wake up. She went over and pushed him, but he still did not respond. She seemed to realize something and tears came out of the sun's eyes. Finally, she was sure that her father would never get up again.

As soon as the funeral was over, the fishing boat grandmother spent 80,000 yuan to buy her fishing boat. She spent another two months in the village. After finishing her second year of high school, she went to Hangzhou without planning to take the college entrance examination.

Over the years, whether sick or healthy, every day she would think of the time on the fishing boat, lying on the boat, basking in the sun, swaying, and a day would pass by. She was an orphan who needed to be thrifty, but she spent a lot of money on blind boxes.

-

Yuan Xin didn't expect the temperature in Beijing to drop so quickly. It was as if she was taken directly from Hangzhou with a temperature of 30 degrees and thrown into the ice cave of Beijing with a temperature of 10 degrees. She fell ill as soon as she woke up. She was suffering from typhoid fever and acclimatization, and she slept in a daze in the hotel for three days. When she woke up, it was just evening.

The evening is the most melancholy time. When you are happy, you can watch the sunset with your lover. When you are unhappy, you feel like it is the end of the world and the sky will open up to swallow you.

At that moment, she lay sprawled in the small hotel, staring at the ceiling. Then, she reached out her left hand to grasp the sun pendant resting on her collarbone. Because she had a fever, the pendant wasn't as cold as she'd imagined; it had warmth. Yuan Xin lay in bed, wondering, "Will I be going to see Mom and Dad?"

On the bedside table beside her, the cell phone kept lighting up. It was Reese calling her, but her eyes were red from the fever and her bones were aching, so she had no intention of tilting her head to look.

Last year, she accompanied Rui Si to Faxi Temple to pray for a marriage. The girls at the next table, snapping selfies and chatting, suggested that worshipping Buddha was better off going home to visit the ancestors' graves and asking for their blessing. Buddha had so many people to care for, mistakes were inevitable. Rui Si found this funny and told Yuan Xin as a joke. Then, remembering Yuan Xin's family situation, she slapped herself in the face. Yuan Xin calmly told Rui Si, "I don't want my parents to bless me. If I still have to fulfill my mission after death, what's the point of liberation? I just want my parents to be safe and happy wherever they are."

Yuanxin missed the fishing village so much. Believing in the existence of spirits, she developed a habit of talking to herself. Lying in bed, she muttered, "I'm not thinking about you because I'm sick. I just miss you every day, Mom and Dad."

"Bang bang." Someone seemed to be knocking on the door. Yuan Xinren didn't move, but turned his eyes towards the door. As a result, he could feel the pain in his eyes even when he turned his eyes.

She tried to get up and open the door, but she couldn't.

"There is...someone." She wanted to speak, but her voice was hoarse, and the word "person" at the end could only be heard by herself in the quilt.

I thought, forget it, just let him be, but the knocking on the door got louder and louder, lasting for almost a minute before it faded away.

"Am I really going to die of illness here?" Just as she finished thinking, the door was kicked open with a bang.

Yuan Xin was confused to find that the person who came in was actually Wang Meng.

Wang Mang, dressed in black again, strode to her bedside, looked down at her, and asked, "Is your name Yuan Xin?"

Yuan Xin hummed softly, but her body seemed to be frozen.

After getting a positive answer, he sat down beside Yuan Xin's bed, reached out his hand and touched her forehead.

"To the hospital."

After Wang Mang finished speaking, he lifted the quilt. Yuan Xin was too weak to stop him in time. When Wang Mang lifted it, he found that she was only wearing underwear...

He covered the quilt back and said, "Call me when you're dressed." Then he ran out without waiting for Yuanxin to answer.

Ten minutes later, Wang Mang realized that Yuan Xin was already too burned to move. He could only close his eyes and put clothes on her. After fumbling around for a while, Wang Mang touched her cuffs to make sure the clothes were on properly before opening his eyes and saying to her, "Let's go."

Yuan Xin still didn't move. Wang Mang sighed and picked Yuan Xin up.

After coming out, Yuan Xin realized that it was already very dark and it didn't look like evening at all. She looked towards the side of the hotel and found that there was a massage parlor next door with warm lights, so she thought it was evening.

The two waited on the roadside for a long time, but couldn't get a taxi. Wang Mang's face was so swollen from the wind that he couldn't make any expression. He said to Yuan Xin, "You live in the red-light district. People don't want to pick up customers here."

Yuan Xin opened her mouth to speak, but Wang Mang quickly said, "Gather your strength."

Finally, Wang Meng turned his attention to his motorcycle and said to Yuan Xin, "Are you afraid of riding in a car?"

Yuan Xin came out and felt some fresh air, which made him feel more energetic, so he was able to shake his head gently.

Wang Mang put Yuan Xin on the back seat of the motorcycle, took off his jacket and put it on her, zipping it up to her chin, and finally put a helmet on her.

Yuan Xin suddenly felt as if a windshield had appeared in front of her. Wang Mang lowered his head, looked at her in the helmet, and said, "Hold me tight and don't stagger. You have a severe fever now. Don't fall out of the car."

Yuan Xin nodded vigorously, and Wang Mang got on the motorcycle with confidence. After he got on, he fixed Yuan Xin's two thin arms to his waist. When their skin touched, he found that the other person was hotter than before.

"Hold on tight." Wang Meng said. Yuan Xin hugged him tightly, with his helmeted head resting on his shoulder.

They ran like this in the night of Beijing.

The doctor said Yuan Xin had a high fever and needed a small injection to quickly reduce it. After paying, Wang Mang sat back down at the door of the clinic. He had been with Yuan Xin for half the night, his head lowered and his arms folded, dozing off. As he closed his eyes to rest, the doctor popped his head out of the clinic and shouted, "Where are Yuan Xin's family members?"

Wang Mang opened his eyes again and said, "Here." The doctor looked down at him and asked, "Why don't you come in?"

Wang Meng looked up at the doctor with some confusion, "I didn't give you the injection..."

"Don't waste time. If you're a family member, come in quickly. You need to support her. She can't even sit steadily."

Wang Meng was a little confused and stood up to check with the doctor. "Isn't this a butt injection? Why do I have to go in too?"

The doctor was even more unhappy. "You have to lie down for the IV and sit down for the injection. I don't have time to explain it to you here. Come in quickly."

Wang Meng froze in place.

The doctor looked at Wang Meng and said with a look of disappointment, "Your girlfriend is so burned up, don't you feel sorry for her?"

Without waiting for Wang Meng to answer, the doctor directly pulled Wang Meng into the ward.

-

Wang Meng and Yuan Xin, whose cheeks were flushed red, looked at each other in bewilderment. He hadn't expected that just as he started his game that evening, Reese, who hadn't spoken to him for a week, suddenly said, "Can you help me check on my friend?" Her name was Yuan Xin.

He asked what was wrong, and Reese said that she was worried that something might happen to Yuanxin.

At this moment, Wang Mang was standing in the ward and finally got a closer look at Yuan Xin's appearance. She had wheat-colored skin, long, upturned peach-shaped eyes, a straight nose with a small tip, thin lips, and a face that looked completely heartless.

The doctor patted Wang Meng from behind and said, "What are you still looking at? Come and help him!"

The doctor pushed Wang Meng so hard that he had to step forward and said, "I'll help you."

Yuan Xin was a little embarrassed but her teeth couldn't help shivering. She lowered her head. The doctor instructed her to let the "boyfriend" stand in front of the girl and the girl hold the boyfriend's waist and not shake around.

After the doctor finished his instructions, neither of them spoke.

As the doctor prepared the medicine, he said, "I've never seen two of you so hesitant and hesitant."

Finally, Yuan Xin hugged Wang Mang's waist, and Wang Mang turned his head to the side. Finally, they finished the injection in such an ambiguous posture.

Yuan Xin lowered her head and thought, if I hold him like this, won’t the fever make me even more confused?

After the injection, the doctor asked Yuanxin to stay in the observation room, saying that she could wait until work to be admitted to the hospital for two days for observation. They sat shoulder to shoulder in the observation room. Yuanxin stared at her toes and said, "Thank you." But she didn't hear his response for a long time. Instead, she felt his head slowly sliding down her thin shoulder. She carefully turned her head to see that he had fallen asleep, breathing evenly.

Yuan Xin didn't dare to breathe. The doctor pushed the door open and came in. Yuan Xin subconsciously pointed her finger at the doctor and shushed him.

The doctor smiled gently, handed her the thermometer with a gesture that said I know everything, and said in a colloquial way, "Check to see if the fever has gone down."

She tucked the thermometer under her other armpit and, five minutes later, carefully returned it to the doctor, who took one look and whispered, "Strange, the fever's gone."

"Your face is still so red." The doctor glanced at her and left.