10. Who doesn't love being praised?

Yi Yi felt like she had a split personality. In front of others, she could be a chattering, carefree optimist, as if life was full of sunshine; but the words she most wanted to say always got stuck in her throat, and she would silently digest them. By the time she could finally say them, they had been packaged into a harmless, even somewhat amusing, "story." And those that she couldn't say became permanent grievances in her heart.

He Miao always tells her, "You take things too seriously. People need to learn to relax. We may not be the best off, but we're more than enough compared to those below us. Don't always be so hard on yourself. Enjoy the present moment, and happiness will naturally come to you. What 'delayed gratification'? That's pure nonsense. Isn't it just like having a carrot dangling in front of you, making you run and run but never quite reaching it?"

So when He Tian bought He Miao a box of "One Deer with You" chocolates to thank her for fixing the kitchen drain, He Miao didn't hide her joy. Not content with showing off on social media, she also boasted to the two of them: "Look, my blockhead has finally seen the light! Looks like my daily nagging did have an effect!"

Ding Xiaojuan ignored her boasting and seized on another key point: "You can fix sewers?"

He Miao retorted, "You don't even know how to fix a sewer?"

“You dress like a butterfly every day, I really can’t imagine you lying there unclogging the sewers.” Ding Xiaojuan looked her up and down.

"So what do you think I am like at home? Drinking coffee, reading books, listening to music, sitting by the window like an artsy girl?" He Miao raised an eyebrow.

"yes!"

"Where did those food pictures I posted on my WeChat Moments come from? How did you achieve such a clean and bright environment?" He Miao pressed on with a series of questions.

Ding Xiaojuan laughed: "That's true... How did you get it?"

“It’s me! It’s me! It’s still me!” He Miao pointed to her nose. “I’m an all-around housewife, okay! I can disassemble and clean the range hood myself, change the air conditioner filter myself, unclog the drain myself, and fix the water valve myself… You career elites can’t understand! So now I’ve forgiven my husband for not caring about me.”

Hearing this, Yi Yi felt a pang of envy mixed with bitterness welling up inside her. She asked He Miao, "How did you 'train' He Tian to buy you gifts?"

The same task of replacing a kitchen drain pipe took a completely different turn at Yi Yi's home. When she discovered the leak, she found the U-shaped pipe was clogged. Despite feeling nauseous, she removed it, cleaned away the accumulated grease and sludge, rinsed the pipe with scouring powder, and then reinstalled it. That evening, when Zhuang Jia returned home, she mentioned it with a touch of pride, hoping to hear a "Thank you for your hard work" or "Honey, you're so capable."

Zhuang Jia frowned and said, "Who told you to pour everything into the sink?" The implication was that if he had listened to me and put the kitchen waste in the toilet, it wouldn't have been clogged.

Yi Yi was furious, but she habitually lowered her voice: "I always put a strainer on the basket! Do you know how many things I wash in the kitchen every day? Every strainer has gaps! The U-shaped tube design is meant to accumulate grease and prevent backflow of odors! You don't understand anything, and all you do is criticize me?"

Zhuang Jia insisted, "If you just flush it down the toilet, none of this will happen. You won't have to go through all this trouble."

"I did the work!" Yi Yi emphasized.

"It wasn't me who asked you to do it," Zhuang Jia blurted out.

"What do you mean?"

"You can call the property management to fix it. I'm very tired after a long day at work."

Yi Yi, who only longed for a simple "My wife has worked hard," was so choked up that she couldn't speak for a long time, abruptly ending this exhausting conversation.

After listening to Yi Yi's story, He Miao asked, "Did you finally state your needs directly?"

What are your needs?

“Just say, ‘Honey, all I want to hear is you say that you’ve worked so hard.’”

"No! When someone is so angry, who would say such... humble things?"

He Miao slapped his thigh: "That's exactly me from a few years ago!"

“Do you know how I do it now?” He Miao leaned forward, sharing her experience. “Now when I do these ‘difficult’ housework, I don’t just silently bear it like before. To be honest, I used to silently bear quite a lot. When my child had a fever in the middle of the night and he was away on a business trip, I would take him to the hospital by myself, and afterwards I would just mention it lightly, or sometimes I wouldn’t even mention it.”

"But then I realized that I need to be praised! I work myself to the bone, just waiting for a few kind words. Aren't we pathetic? But we need that!" He Miao said bluntly.

Ding Xiaojuan interjected, offering a lawyer's calm perspective: "Do you know what men who work hard away from home find most annoying?"

He Miao immediately replied, "I know!"

Yi Yi asked in confusion, "What?"

Ding Xiaojuan looked at He Miao, who understood and spoke for her: "What I hate most is that my wife always thinks she works hard and needs me to praise her and affirm the value of her family's labor."

Ding Xiaojuan nodded: "Smart. I hate housework, so I try not to do it. But my mom does a lot of it, and then she starts complaining that this person isn't diligent enough, criticizing that person for not helping, and saying how tired she is every day. I vowed then that I would either do it happily or pay to solve the problem, and I would never do it and ruin the atmosphere of the whole family."

Yi Yi smiled wryly: "But someone has to do the housework. If you don't do it and he doesn't either, won't things fall apart?"

"That's why I work so hard to earn money and hire hourly workers," Ding Xiaojuan said, spreading her hands. "Making money is something I'm good at and enjoy."

He Miao turned to Ding Xiaojuan and asked, "What do you think your mother lacks?"

Ding Xiaojuan thought for a moment and said, "She has everything she needs, and my family is well-off."

"What she lacks is genuine praise and recognition from you all," He Miao pointed out incisively.

“We complimented her, but she didn’t appreciate it and said we were just good at talking.”

He Miao sighed: "That's true. It seems that their generation is not used to accepting straightforward praise. They think that 'a sharp tongue but a soft heart' is genuine, and 'sweet words' are hypocritical. So now I've learned to express my sincere gratitude directly and to express my need for praise directly. I don't play those games of 'guess, guess, guess' that I had when I was young."

Ding Xiaojuan listened thoughtfully. Suddenly, she exclaimed, "Oh dear! I almost forgot the important thing! Your sewer talk got me off-topic. There's a short-term study abroad program in the US during winter break. One of the mothers in our group is sick and can't go, so we have two extra spots. Your family has US visas, would you like to go?"

"Aren't you going by yourself?" He Miao asked.

"We're already full. We only have these two extra spots, and we thought you might be interested."

"What is micro-study abroad?" Yi Yi was confused by the new term again.

He Miao explained skillfully, "It's a short-term immersion program. During our winter break, classes are in session in the US, so you can immerse yourself in an authentic classroom experience. It's quite popular; many parents want their children to experience genuine American education and a language environment."

"Could a first-grader understand that in the past?" Yi Yi thought of Kai Kai's English level, which was limited to greetings.

Ding Xiaojuan feigned profundity: "Ideas, ideas are very important!"

He Miao pressed further: "The specific itinerary?"

"We plan to go for four weeks, three weeks of classes and one week by car. The course can be two or three weeks long. We need to apply as soon as possible, as spots are in high demand."

“Okay, sign me up, three weeks of classes. Can I join you guys if I drive myself?” He Miao decided decisively.

They made a decision in a few words and immediately turned their "guns" towards Yi Yi.

Ding Xiaojuan spoke first: "A colleague of mine used to be like you, against enrolling her child in extracurricular classes and advocating for a more relaxed approach to parenting. Now her child is in the second year of junior high and says he wants to study abroad for university. She was overjoyed and immediately inquired about the application process. That's when she discovered that the parents of high-achieving children around her had started planning years ago: TOEFL and SSAT exams, background enhancement, activity lists... Her child took the TOEFL test and only scored in the 40s, so if he wanted tutoring, he could only attend classes with elementary school students. She's now kicking herself."

He Miao chimed in, "It's not just English now. My brother's kid is in an international school and wants to learn baseball in seventh grade, but my sister-in-law looked around and the oldest class was for seven-year-olds. There's no way to find a team for someone his age who's still in the beginner stage."

Ding Xiaojuan summarized: "I heard that when they collect resumes for the entrance exam to junior high school, many children have passed the FCE or even CAE in English, a lot of them have level 10 in musical instruments, and their sports are at a semi-professional level... The competition is no longer what it used to be."

“But…” Yi Yi wanted to argue.

"Don't say 'but'!" Ding Xiaojuan interrupted her, her tone carrying the urgency of someone with experience. "The old lady is telling you about pitfalls she's fallen into! Not only do you not avoid them, but you jump high and fall in hard!" She laughed after saying that, "Was my analogy vivid enough?"

Yi Yi was a little indignant that her thoughts had been exposed: "That's exactly right! Education can't be so short-sighted."

He Miao shook her head: "Without a goal, even the most enriching process may just feel superficial. Without small milestones to affirm the progress, where will the child's sustained motivation come from?"

Seeing Yi Yi's hesitant face, Ding Xiaojuan added, "Anyway, I'll reserve the spots for you. Go back and discuss it with Zhuang Jia. But..."

She didn't finish her sentence. But Yi Yi knew what it meant. However, Zhuang Jia would likely say "it's a waste of money" or "it's unnecessary," or use that "let me analyze the pros and cons for you" attitude to cool down the impulse that had just been ignited within her.

The sky outside the window is gradually darkening. Three women, three philosophies of life, briefly converge at this moment, and are about to return to their respective paths.

Yi Yi picked up the now-cold coffee and took a sip. It was bitter, but invigorating.

The longing for praise, the expectation of recognition, the confusion about educational paths, the inability to communicate effectively with her husband... all of these things were like a tangled mess, tangled in her heart.

But the unspoken "but" remains stuck there.

But if everyone is running in the same direction, is that road necessarily the only correct one?

She didn't know the answer. All she knew was that tonight, she would probably have another "discussion" with Zhuang Jia that was destined to have no result.