18. Standard configuration

Upon returning from the journey, life quickly returned to its original track, but it seemed to have been permeated by that distant sea breeze, giving it a different texture.

As soon as Ding Xiaojuan returned, she plunged into the mountain of case files, working non-stop. He Miao had invited her to go shopping and have dinner several times in the group chat, but all her requests went unanswered. Finally, one day, Ding Xiaojuan replied with a voice message, accompanied by the crisp sound of keyboard typing: "Shopping? I haven't gone shopping in ages. Now I basically only buy from a few brands, and my needs are pretty low."

"Really? Your needs are low?"

“Of course. Look at me, I only have two pairs of shoes all winter: a pair of sneakers and a pair of boots. The versatile boots can sometimes even take over the function of the other pair of sneakers,” Ding Xiaojuan said. “The advantage of this is that it saves me the trouble of storage. I wear them all winter and then just throw them away. I buy a new pair next year.”

"Boots can also function as athletic shoes."

"Yes, this brand of boots is really comfortable. They have rubber soles and a small heel. I buy a pair every year during the Double 11 sale."

What brand?

"I'll send you the link in a bit."

He Miao opened the link and was shocked to see that each pair of shoes cost over five or six thousand yuan. "My god, these shoes are so expensive?"

“Yes, that’s why I always buy when it’s on sale,” Ding Xiaojuan replied matter-of-factly.

Yi Yi also clicked to take a look. She believed that shoes should be comfortable and was willing to spend money on them, but in her mind, the line for "value for money" was firmly drawn around 1,500 yuan. Looking at the simple designs of the boots in the pictures, she thought, "My pair that cost a little over 1,000 yuan is also quite comfortable."

This is the fundamental difference between her and Ding Xiaojuan. Yi Yi felt that the difference between 90 and 95 points wasn't worth paying several times the premium. Ding Xiaojuan, on the other hand, believed that the 5-point improvement embodied all the essence of design, craftsmanship, and materials, and she would never compromise on it if she could afford it.

Therefore, Ding Xiaojuan's go-to sportswear is Lululemon, her go-to outdoor gear is Arc'teryx, and she rotates between several high-end brands for her workwear. Every time the season changes, she follows a standard procedure, browsing her usual stores and placing orders quickly and efficiently.

He Miao shook her head, "There's no joy in life anymore." She loves shopping, likes big brands, and also likes niche brands with personality. Her style is also very changeable. Sometimes she dresses intellectually, sometimes sweetly, sometimes like a mature woman, and sometimes she instantly transforms into a youthful girl... She said that Ding Xiaojuan has only two styles: office lady style and sporty style.

Yi Yi falls somewhere in the middle. She doesn't blindly pursue big brands, nor is she keen on frequent shopping. She makes bulk purchases at fixed times (such as the change of seasons or the end of the year), choosing mid-to-high-end basic styles with good quality and classic designs. Like her mother back then, she always picked "mediocre" apples, feeling that that was the safest and least likely to go wrong.

She once loathed her mother's conservatism, but unknowingly, she adopted this survival strategy.

“I only want the best,” Ding Xiaojuan once said in a conversation. “I’ve always been like this since I was little.” She recalled how she used to steal the tenderest cucumber from her family’s cucumber patch when she was a child, and she was happy to do it even when her mother scolded her. “That sweetness is something that cucumbers nowadays can’t compare to. My tongue is as picky as my heart, and I never compromise.”

Yi Yi admired Ding Xiaojuan's determination. She always knew what she wanted and had the courage and ability to fight for it.

But this certainty is not always fully understood by those closest to us.

Gao Sheng's annual physical examination report came out, and several indicators were alarming. His fatty liver had progressed from mild to moderate, and his blood lipids were also high.

“We need to pay attention,” Ding Xiaojuan pushed the report in front of him, her tone serious. “We are now the pillar of our family. Health is the 1, and everything else is a 0.”

Gao Sheng didn't take it seriously: "It's just moderate, no big problem. I get a lot of exercise every week from playing football."

“Football is too physical; it’s not suitable for your age,” Ding Xiaojuan said decisively. “Tomorrow I’ll get two memberships at a high-end gym and hire a reliable personal trainer to systematically improve my physical fitness and cardiovascular function.”

"This is my only hobby." Gao Sheng disagreed. He was particularly uninterested in gym training; weightlifting was such a boring exercise.

“You don’t only have this one hobby,” Ding Xiaojuan pointed out sharply. “What’s the one thing you can’t do without every week: playing mahjong?”

"Well... well... isn't it just socializing?" Gao Sheng said. "It's all about entertaining the boss. By the way, transfer me some money. I can't entertain the boss if my pockets are empty."

"What leader? Don't try to fool me! I know your card-playing buddies all too well." Ding Xiaojuan smiled slightly, but her eyes were cold. "I'm a little short on money lately, so I have to be careful."

Gao Sheng was startled. "What did you buy again?" Although Ding Xiaojuan's so-called buying was actually just a forced way to accumulate wealth, he didn't want to have to tighten his belt for another year or two.

"I didn't buy anything, I just exchanged the money into US dollars and deposited it into a US account. I exchanged a bit too much," Ding Xiaojuan chuckled.

"You, why didn't you even discuss it with me?" Gao Sheng's voice revealed his dissatisfaction.

"Does such a small matter need to be discussed?" Ding Xiaojuan looked up at him, her eyes clear.

"You..." Gao Sheng's words trailed off, but the subtext of "you're too presumptuous" and "you're too domineering" already filled the air.

In the past, Ding Xiaojuan might have reflected on whether she had been too domineering. But now, perhaps it was the fatigue of the journey, the pressure of work, or perhaps Gao Sheng's increasingly strict attitude towards their son that had worn down her patience; the string in her heart snapped. "So what if I'm domineering?" She stood up, walked up to Gao Sheng, shorter than him, but her aura completely overwhelmed him. "So what if I'm domineering?"

Gao Sheng was taken aback by her question.

“My assertiveness allows me to establish myself in this industry, to support this family when you're not here, and to seize opportunities when they arise! I’m assertive because I must, and can only, rely on myself to make judgments and decisions!” Ding Xiaojuan’s voice wasn’t loud, but every word was clear and resonant, striking the floor. “I used this assertiveness to earn our current life and secure the future of this family. Tell me, is this assertiveness wrong?”

Gao Sheng looked at her face, slightly flushed with excitement, and at the unwavering determination in her eyes, and was speechless for a moment. He couldn't deny her words. For the past ten years, she had single-handedly built this family.

“That’s not what I meant…” he tried to smooth things over.

"So what do you mean?" Ding Xiaojuan didn't give him a way out. "Do you think I'm too capable as your wife, making you lose face? Or do you think that I spent money without asking you, undermining your authority as the head of the household?"

The words had been spoken so bluntly that it was embarrassing. Gao Sheng looked somewhat embarrassed, but deep down, he was perhaps also a little annoyed and ashamed that he had been hit where it hurt.

Looking into his evasive eyes, Ding Xiaojuan suddenly felt incredibly exhausted. What she sought was never to overpower him, but to fight alongside him. But it seemed that her "strength," at times, had become a barrier.

She took a step back, her voice lowered, carrying a deep weariness: "Gao Sheng, we've been married for over ten years. You've known what kind of person I am from the very beginning. If what you want is a wife who consults you on everything, is gentle and considerate, and treats you like her own world, then I'm sorry, I'm not that, and I can't become that."

After she finished speaking, she turned around, went into the bedroom, and closed the door.

There was no argument, yet it was colder than any argument.

In the living room, Gao Sheng sat alone, cigarette butts slowly piling up in the ashtray. He thought of Ding Xiaojuan when they first met; she was just as sharp and bright, like a drawn sword, captivating his entire gaze. Wasn't it precisely this uniqueness that he loved? When did this "difference" slowly transform into a flaw in his eyes that needed to be "disciplined"?

Was it because he had become accustomed to making decisions independently during his years abroad, only to find upon his return that his family already had a highly efficient system in place, and he felt like an intruder who needed to relearn the rules? Or was it the old scripts about "male face" and "family authority" that society had instilled in him that were causing the problem?

He didn't know the answer.

In the bedroom, Ding Xiaojuan leaned against the door, listening to the oppressive silence outside. She didn't cry, but felt a void in her heart. She had always thought they were the closest comrades-in-arms, people she could entrust her back to. But now, she wasn't sure anymore.

Her strength was both her armor and her weakness. It protected her, but perhaps it also isolated her.

The next day, she still went to get a gym membership and bought classes for herself and Gao Sheng. She said to Gao Sheng, "I finally understand why older people are so keen on health preservation. They are afraid of losing it, so they want to hold on to it desperately. My body has already given me a warning, and I need to smooth out the downward slope a bit."

Gao Sheng looked at her. After a night, he seemed calmer, or perhaps he had figured something out. He nodded: "Okay, I'll listen to you."

Ding Xiaojuan hummed in agreement and said nothing more.

Some things, once said clearly, leave one unsure how to proceed. Some cracks, once seen, need time to heal, or perhaps, one must learn to coexist with them.

Ding Xiaojuan put on her expensive, comfortable boots and stepped out of the house. The heels tapped on the ground with a crisp, firm sound. She knew that whether or not someone walked beside her, she had to walk the road herself, step by step.