67. Divorce

Even if it's just a little bit, do you still love me?

Lancheng Swallow Reef, This Shore Cafe.

When Song Qinggui arrived, Xu Xiaofeng and Su Yalin, both wearing sunglasses, were already waiting for her.

Song Qinggui was taken aback when he saw Su Yalin: "What are you doing here?"

Xu Xiaofeng smiled and said, "This is my company's future legal counsel, and also the lobbyist I invited today."

"What would you like to drink?" Su Yalin asked, "An Americano, please?"

"I haven't been feeling well lately and don't feel like drinking coffee." Song Qinggui and Su Yalin were already friends, so he spoke much more casually.

"Their banana oat milk is pretty good, would you like a hot one?" Su Yalin asked.

"good."

Song Qinggui sat down and looked around the coffee shop before noticing the busy man behind the counter, dressed in a white shirt, suit pants, and silver-chained glasses.

Suddenly remembering something, Song Qinggui lowered his voice and asked Su Yalin, "Is this the guy you told me about, the one who's so handsome you can't even walk past him?"

Su Yalin nodded: "Tell me, isn't he handsome?! Could he hold his own against your Lawyer Xue?"

Song Qinggui acknowledged Su Yalin's aesthetic sense: "It's really good."

Xu Xiaofeng gave him high praise: "Not only is he good, I'll sign him and let him debut."

"He's an internationally renowned architect, isn't he? He has a proper job."

At this moment, a pretty girl brought over their drinks. She had obviously overheard their conversation and pretended to be angry, saying to Su Yalin, "After all these years, you still miss my husband?"

Su Yalin smiled sheepishly: "Oh, you're all mine now, what's wrong with me fantasizing a little?"

The girl was generous: "Okay then, but you have to do it secretly, not so blatantly. Given your behavior today, this order won't be free. I can only give you a small cake, and there are no other discounts."

"I know I was wrong. I will definitely be more careful about the occasion in the future."

Su Yalin and the girl exchanged a smile.

Song Qinggui stared at the two "love rivals" in disbelief: "You two are actually quite... close."

Su Yalin took a sip of coffee: "There's not that much competition between women in this world. If a man can get you, go for it; if not, so be it. You should still make friends with the girls you want to be friends with. Don't let men affect your friendships. That girl earlier was Zhang Yanling, the owner of This Shore Coffee. Before she opened the shop, she worked in finance on Wall Street. She's very good at investing. If you have any spare money and want to manage your finances, you can ask her for advice. Just mention my name, it'll work."

Song Qinggui picked up the banana milk, and the aroma and heat wafted towards her, making her feel warm.

Xu Xiaofeng got down to business: "Qinggui, I really need you. I can't think of anyone more suitable to help me with public relations. Name your conditions, and I'll try my best to meet them."

Su Yalin also took on the role of persuader: "You must want to work, right? Although you studied medicine, you've been away from clinical practice for too long, and you definitely can't go back. If you want to rely on your resume at Xue's to go to other groups, they might not dare to hire you. Why not explore a new field? Artist management is a good option."

Song Qinggui agreed with what Su Yalin said, but she did have a condition: "Xiaofeng, you should know my temper. I'm not the kind of person who would write 'Sorry for taking up public resources'."

Xu Xiaofeng knew that the matter was almost certain to succeed: "Don't worry, I trust people I use. Since I've entrusted the public relations affairs to you, everything will be done according to your rules."

"Then you can prepare the contract."

After finishing his business, Song Qinggui finished his milk and stood up: "You guys talk. I haven't been feeling well lately, so I'm going to the hospital."

"Do you need me to come with you?" Su Yalin asked.

Song Qinggui shook his head: "No need, I estimate it's just a blood test."

...

Because she was unprepared, Song Qinggui was inevitably disheartened when she saw her positive urine pregnancy test report.

After listening to Song Qinggui's symptoms and performing a blood test, the doctor was about to prescribe medication when he suddenly remembered that when asking about her menstrual history, Song Qinggui had mentioned that her periods were irregular and that she had previously consulted a doctor about this, which indicated ovarian aging.

Out of caution, the doctor suggested, "Let's do another urine pregnancy test."

Unexpectedly, I really am pregnant.

Based on the gestational age, she must have conceived during her honeymoon.

Song Qinggui stroked his lower abdomen, smiled wryly, and muttered to himself, "You came at just the right time. I was just about to go out to work when you arrived. I hadn't even decided whether or not to reconcile with your father when you came."

When Xue Lu returned home, he saw Song Qinggui sitting upright at the dining table.

"What's wrong?" Xue Lu took off his coat, changed into slippers, and approached Song Qinggui.

Song Qinggui pushed the medical report in front of Lawyer Xue: "I'm pregnant."

Xue Lu was stunned, as if struck by lightning.

Song Qinggui added: "Yours."

Xue Lu realized what was happening and, laughing and crying at the same time, exclaimed, "Nonsense! Of course it's mine!"

He was excited but tried to control himself. He paced back and forth for a while, feeling helpless. He knelt down in front of Song Qinggui, his eyes red, and held her hand tightly on her knees: "I will be good to you and good to the child, Qinggui. Let's not separate, okay? Let's not separate."

Song Qinggui lowered her head, and after a long while, she spoke: "It depends on your performance."

...

Song Qinggui called Xu Xiaofeng to apologize, saying that the contract probably couldn't be signed for the time being.

Xu Xiaofeng replied, "Sign the contract if it's due. You can work from home. If there's anything, just turn on your computer and handle it. If there's nothing, just focus on your pregnancy. The first batch of artists I signed are all friends I've known for a long time. They're reliable and won't cause you any trouble. We'll recruit new artists after you've given birth and are able to work again."

Song Qinggui said gratefully, "Thank you, Xiaofeng."

...

In the days that followed, Song Qinggui wholeheartedly welcomed the arrival of this little life.

Attorney Xue was incredibly busy, finalizing the purchase of a new house in just three days. He estimated that if he worked overtime to finish the renovations and dissipate the formaldehyde, it should take about a year. Next was booking a postpartum care center. Other small items were a given; buying baby clothes one day, a play frame the next. This once sophisticated gentleman, who used to only shop in physical stores for style, now knew how to use Taobao and read product reviews on Xiaohongshu, wanting to bring home everything his child might need.

Xue Lu was even more careful around Song Qinggui. When Song Qinggui went from the bedroom to the dining room for a meal, he would almost carry her there.

Song Qinggui was at a loss: "Those who know me will think I'm paralyzed, but those who don't will think I'm pregnant. Besides, pregnant women need to exercise appropriately. You're a medical student, do I really need to teach you this?"

"Isn't it just that I'm too worried to think straight..." Xue Lu scratched his head.

The Xue family elders were overjoyed. Wen Shuang even went out of the old house to visit Song Qinggui, which made Song Qinggui feel flattered.

Xiao Tian, ​​Song Qinghe, and Jing Tian's colleagues also visited her several times, and the nutritional supplements they received required a special cabinet for storage.

Xiao Tian was a little embarrassed: "Sis, I've been accepted into the California Institute of the Arts for graduate studies. I've calculated that I should have already gone to the United States by the time you give birth. But don't worry, my mom and dad have already discussed it. My dad will continue to run the noodle shop in Cangcheng, and my mom is going to take the postpartum care nanny exam so she can come over and help you take care of the baby."

"No need." Song Qinggui was touched. "How could I not afford a postpartum nanny? Taking care of a baby is so hard, Aunt Sun, you don't need to worry about me..."

“My mom said she still remembers how you looked when you were anemic and malnourished as a child. She can’t let my little nephew suffer any more mishaps. She doesn’t trust anyone else to take care of him.”

Song Qinggui did not refuse again. She felt a lump in her throat. Xue Lu noticed her emotion and put his arm around her shoulder.

...

Nine months later, this much-anticipated little life finally arrived in the world.

She was a sensible little girl and didn't cause her mother much trouble. Song Qinggui's labor went surprisingly smoothly.

Since his daughter was born, Xue Lu has been holding the baby every day, practically turning her into a human cradle. He's incredibly skilled at feeding and changing diapers; it's unclear when or where he learned those techniques.

Aunt Sun had to beg him for a long time before she could even hold the baby. The nanny kept advising him that the baby couldn't be held all the time, otherwise, when the baby got older and developed his own consciousness, he wouldn't be able to put him down, and taking care of the baby would be very tiring.

Xue Lu disagreed: "So what if I'm tired? It saves me the trouble of going to the gym."

Aunt Sun and the nanny had no way to deal with him.

After the child fell asleep, he would cling to Song Qinggui and try to hug her. Song Qinggui couldn't push him away and had no choice but to accept it.

Even Xue Tan said that Xiao Shisi was now feeling less heroic, but he was content with his wife and daughter.

Song Qinggui was not overly joyful about the arrival of the child; she only felt dazed.

She actually had a child, a child who was her blood relative.

She stared blankly at her rosy-cheeked daughter in the crib, lost in thought. Xue Lu noticed her absent-mindedness and couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong?"

Song Qinggui then felt her heart being tightly enveloped by a gentle warmth. This was her little girl, the little girl who loved her unconditionally.

However, she still had a regret: "She's nothing like me."

Xue Lu glanced at his sleeping daughter and a smile appeared on his face: "Ms. Wen said that she and I were practically identical when we were little."

"This is so unfair," Song Qinggui said helplessly.

Xue Lu leaned closer: "Although looking like you would be very beautiful, looking like me is also very beautiful."

That's true. Everyone who has come to see the little girl always says the first thing they say is that she's beautiful.

While she was hospitalized, the nurses all vied to bathe her and take pictures of her.

The little girl's formal name was given by Song Qinggui; it was a single character named "Ji," Xue Ji.

The snow stopped, and the sky cleared for miles.

She didn't expect her daughter to live a life free from wind and snow; she hoped her daughter would have the strength to overcome them.

The nickname was decided by Xue Lü, and Song Qinggui chose the third one without any pressure from the options he provided: "Braised Pork," "Xue Mudan," and "Xue Pupu."

All three names are related to Song Qinggui's preferences. Song Qinggui liked braised pork, peonies, and jade ornaments.

"Brother-in-law, why is it Pu Pu? There are so many characters that symbolize jade." When Xiao Tian returned from the United States, Xue Pu Pu was already three months old.

"Because children's intestines move quickly and they fart a lot, we used a homophone of an onomatopoeic word," Xue Lu explained seriously.

Xiao Tian was deeply shocked: "Promise me, when Pu Pu grows up, don't tell her about this..."

...

Growing up is such an easy thing for children. Pu Pu is already three years old in the blink of an eye.

Children grow up quickly, and Pu Pu grows up even faster than others.

She teethed early, spoke early, walked early, and was always a step ahead of others in everything she did, good or bad. When Grandpa Xue took this little granddaughter out to social events, she was nicknamed "Danshan Road Vanguard."

Logically speaking, a child with such an impatient temperament should be a devil, but Pu Pu is very quiet and rarely speaks. However, once she does say something, it hits you right in the gut.

On her third birthday, Song Qinggui and Xue Lu went to pick her up from kindergarten.

They took her to the handmade burger shop she had always wanted to visit, bought her an Oreo cake, lit candles, and made a wish, but Pu Pu's smile remained faint.

"Are you unhappy, my little girl?" Song Qinggui noticed his daughter's depression.

Pu Pu tilted her head, looked at Song Qinggui, and then at Xue Lu: "Mom and Dad, I feel like you are different from other children's parents."

"What's different?" Xue Lu asked.

“You are prettier,” Pu Pu said.

Song Qinggui smiled knowingly. When did this little girl learn to be so glib?

But Pu Pu's next words made Song Qinggui's expression freeze.

"But Mom and Dad, you're not good friends, are you?"

Xue Lu looked disappointed, but still concerned about his daughter: "Why did you say that?"

"It's just a feeling. Zhang Xiaokui's parents feel like good friends, but you don't."

Song Qinggui was taken aback. She did know Zhang Xiaokui's parents; they were Zhang Yanling, the owner of Ci'an Coffee, and her husband Xu Du, a well-known loving couple in the industry.

Song Qinggui felt a little depressed.

Children are actually very perceptive.

In recent years, she and Xue Lu have not been husband and wife at all; at most, they are roommates and life partners.

The two sat together, mostly discussing Pu Pu, and occasionally talking about their work, but the heart-to-heart communication they used to have was long gone.

As for the rest...

Song Qinggui herself did not indulge in physical pleasures. She harbored resentment towards Xue Lu, but if Xue Lu did not mention it, she would not either.

From the time he was pregnant until Pu Pu turned one year old, Xue Lu, presumably out of consideration for her health, never touched her.

On several occasions afterward, Xue Lu clearly had the idea, but Song Qinggui pretended to be confused and ignored the past.

Sometimes when Song Qinggui got up in the middle of the night to drink water, he would see the bathroom light on. Sometimes he would hear Xue Lu's barely restrained groans, sometimes his low sobs, and a few times his undisguised weeping.

She knew that Xue Lu in the bathroom was in pain and sexually frustrated.

Whenever this happened, Song Qinggui would stand silently in the living room, listening blankly to the sounds coming from the bathroom.

It was as if he could feel better by venting his emotions.

He didn't know she was outside, and she never opened the bathroom door.

Love fades too easily over time; what remains is wear and tear and missed opportunities.

When a couple reaches this point, there's little meaning left.

Song Qinggui had considered divorce, but Pu Pu was raised by Xue Lu and she loved her father very much.

Song Qinggui still wanted to give Pupu a complete family. This idea is very traditional and old-fashioned, but as a mother, she really can't help but think about her child.

...

After returning home from the hamburger shop, Pu Pu was sleepy. Song Qinggui helped her take a bath and coaxed her to sleep. When he came out of the room, Xue Lu was sitting in the dim light.

“Let’s talk about the rules,” said Lawyer Xue.

Song Qinggui sat down: "If you want a divorce, I can..."

"Do you still love me?" Xue Lu's expression was numb, but tears streamed down his face uncontrollably. "Even if it's just a little bit, do you still love me?"

Song Qinggui lowered her head, hiding the bitterness in her eyes. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved Xue Lu, but it was precisely because of this that a small flaw had become a scar and a chasm, and that she could not forgive it.

“Lawyer Xue, you’re right. I’ve never been truly loved, so I don’t know how to love others.” Song Qinggui choked up, “I’m sorry, Lawyer Xue, I’ve wasted so many years of your life…”

Xue Lu suddenly stood up, his voice trembling and choked with uncontrollable sobs. He frantically and painfully ran his hands through his hair: "I'm going out for a walk. We... we'll talk another day. I'll say it again: you can do whatever you want, but not divorce."

Xue Lu left home at nine o'clock in the evening.

Song Qinggui sat blankly in the living room, and he did not return until after 1 a.m.

She walked towards the master bedroom. This house was bought by Xue Lu when she was pregnant. It was a large single-level apartment of more than 200 square meters with a sea view outside the window.

The master bedroom was large, and her wedding photo with Xue Lu hung in the room. That must have been the happiest moment of their lives. However, they never lived in the room that was decorated with this happiness.

Song Qinggui and Xue Lu each have a small bedroom with Pu Pu. Xue Lu is busy with work, so Pu Pu lives with Song Qinggui in the mother-daughter room. Song Qinggui is busy with work, so Pu Pu lives with Xue Lu in the father-daughter room.

Song Qinggui turned on the light in the master bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a thin crack in the bedside table drawer, through which some papers were vaguely visible.

Song Qinggui opened the transparent folder and took out two documents. One was an asset transfer document, showing that Lawyer Xue had helped her open an overseas account two years ago and had transferred all his assets to her name. The other was... a will, which stated that after Lawyer Xue's death, all his shares and real estate would belong to Song Qinggui.

Following the two documents was a hospital assessment result and a stamped diagnosis certificate—Lawyer Xue, severe depression, recommended psychological counseling, medication, and regular follow-up visits.

Song Qinggui suddenly stood up. The clock had already pointed to two in the morning, and Xue Lu had been away from home for five hours.

She called Xue Lu several times, but no one answered.

Song Qinggui panicked. Her hands trembled as she dialed Su Yalin's number: "Yalin, I'm sorry to trouble you, Aunt Sun has gone back to Cangcheng, and I can't find anyone else. Could you please take care of Pupu for me? I need to go find Lawyer Xue, I need to go find Lawyer Xue!"

As Song Qinggui spoke, he lost control of his emotions.

Su Yalin on the other end of the phone realized something: "Tell me your home password, I'll be right there, don't worry."

"Thank you... thank you..." Song Qinggui hung up the phone and dialed 110 again. With her last strength, she cried and said, "Officers, my husband left home five hours ago, and I can't reach him. He has depression and suicidal tendencies. Please, please save him, save him..."