7. Ambiguous

Why him and not me?

Song Qinggui looked at Xue Lu with a probing gaze, crossing his arms in front of his chest—a defensive posture from a psychological perspective.

Xue Lu felt a jolt in his heart. He rarely felt this way, but he knew roughly what it was called.

Two years ago, when Song Qinggui came to Jingtian, Lawyer Xue asked her to go to the medical department, not because he really wanted her to leave clinical work.

He only had selfish motives, wanting to make this junior sister, who had never given him a second glance, bow her head and beg him, but he didn't expect Song Qinggui to be so stubborn.

She worked diligently in the medical affairs department throughout the year, and was highly regarded by all clinical departments. She handled inspections from higher authorities, complaints from clinical patients, and conflicts between doctors very well.

But Xue Lu knew that Song Qinggui wanted to return to the front line of clinical practice.

Jingtian Group is currently preparing for its IPO, and Jingtian Hospital is an important part of the group's business. Lawyer Xue often works overtime at the hospital.

As he left, he passed by the medical affairs office, where the lights were often on.

Later, Xue Lu inquired and learned that Song Qinggui would sometimes go to observe major cardiac surgeries, no matter how late it was.

As a fellow student of the same master, Xue Lu knew that it would be a waste for her to spend her whole life in administration, given her abilities.

Since Song Qinggui refused to lower his head no matter what, Xue Lu wasn't going to stoop so low as to ruin her future just because a woman wouldn't back down.

“It was a mistake on my part to send you to the medical department.” Lawyer Xue lowered his eyes: “Go back to clinical practice, that’s where you belong.”

Song Qinggui stared at Xue Lu, his lowered eyes a sign of weakness. It was rare to see the high and mighty Xue Lu showing such vulnerability.

Song Qinggui, feeling playful, gradually loosened her arms from her chest, leaned forward, and stared at Xue Lu: "Inconsiderate...?"

Xue Lu looked up, and Song Qinggui's playful smile fell into his eyes. His heart skipped a beat. The woman in front of him seemed to be trying to see through him, which made him feel dangerous, but at the same time, a strange expectation arose in his heart.

Lawyer Xue forced himself to calm down: "You have too strong a personality. I originally wanted you to work in administration to temper your temperament, but it seems that it has little effect. So let's go to clinical practice and let society beat you up."

"Oh~" Song Qinggui drawled, leaning back. "So it's because I'm too strong-willed that President Xue put me in the medical department to toughen me up. I thought President Xue was deliberately making things difficult for me because he saw me dating rich people all these years but not staying in my cage like a canary. It seems I was narrow-minded and petty. I should punish myself with a drink."

Seeing Song Qinggui's sarcastic tone without any anger, and instead her constant smiling, Xue Lu knew she was deliberately trying to expose his secrets and embarrass him. But Song Qinggui didn't know that the deepest layer of his secrets was beyond her reach; not only could she not reach it, but even he himself might not be able to.

Xue Lu laughed: "Stop being sarcastic. Hand over your work and report to the cardiac surgery department next Monday."

These were commands, but Xue Lu's tone was soft, and his smile carried a youthful air, which made Song Qinggui somewhat stunned.

Ever since she met Xue Lu when she entered university, this senior has been known as a cold and aloof handsome man, taciturn and dignified.

Medical school is full of academic superstars, and where there are many academic superstars, there are few beauties. Xue Lu's unique good looks naturally make him a hot topic among girls.

Her classmates and roommates all had starry eyes when they talked about Xue Lu, but Song Qinggui didn't have any other feelings for him; she just found him very interesting. She felt that Xue Lu was like a human machine, with some kind of program programmed into him, the curve of his smile never changing, as if the program inside him would explode whenever he smiled and showed his teeth.

But at this moment, Xue Lu, smiling in front of her, really looked like a living person. He was no longer a snow lotus that could only be admired from afar, but rather... quite beautiful and pleasing to the eye.

"Delicious..." Song Qinggui's brain cells spun around this word, somewhat lost in thought.

Song Qinggui's gaze lingered, and Xue Lu felt a warmth on the back of his ears, making him somewhat uncomfortable: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Song Qinggui's thoughts were then pulled back, and she realized that she had actually been somewhat distracted by Xue Lu. She laughed self-deprecatingly, thinking that lust was truly a double-edged sword.

She lowered her head to compose herself and looked at Lawyer Xue again: "I'll work in the medical affairs department for a while longer, and then I'll go back to clinical practice when the time is right."

Song Qinggui had his own reasons for making this decision.

Many jobs with high professional barriers share a common problem: technical staff look down on administrative staff, yet are forced to comply with the work assignments of administrative staff. This is especially true in institutions like hospitals, where "outsiders instructing insiders" creates a lot of awkward situations.

A prime example is when medical disputes occur in hospitals. To prevent the conflict from escalating further, administrative departments often intervene to mediate. However, because administrative staff often lack sufficient medical expertise, they struggle to distinguish right from wrong in even the most basic aspects of the dispute, making it difficult to explain things clearly to patients or reassure doctors.

The most common outcome of patient complaints is that, on the one hand, the doctor compensates the patient in a muddled manner, but fails to leave the patient with a good impression of a sincere apology; on the other hand, the doctor insists on admitting fault, leaving the doctor full of grievances but unable to reason with these "leaders," thus creating a vicious cycle in the doctor-patient relationship.

But Song Qinggui is different. She has a clinical background, has interned and completed residency training in the front lines, and understands clinical practice. The medical affairs department is also the department most closely connected with frontline clinical doctors. For the hospital, her presence reduces communication costs between doctors and administration, making many tasks proceed more smoothly. For doctors and patients, her presence allows for consideration of both sides' perspectives, reducing many unnecessary conflicts.

It was precisely because of this that she gained recognition from many of her colleagues, and she also felt her own value from it.

Most importantly, the medical department has a fatal advantage – no night shifts.

Song Qinggui now frequently faces unexpected situations, and she needs a job with a regular work schedule.

Xue Lu watched as Song Qinggui's eyes lost focus again. She was always like this, making it impossible for him to understand her. He didn't like the feeling of things slipping out of his control.

"Why do you still want to stay in the medical department?" Lawyer Xue pressed.

Song Qinggui: "The medical department needs me now."

Xue Lu: "That's not the truth; there's another reason."

This is a declarative sentence, not an interrogative sentence.

The reason why Xue Lu was able to stand out among a group of spoiled second-generation rich kids was not only because of his hard work, but also because of his ability to judge people and situations. He could tell at a glance that Song Qinggui was hiding something from him.

Song Qinggui smiled and said frankly, "There are also some personal reasons."

"What personal reasons?" Lawyer Xue pressed for an answer.

Song Qinggui shook his head: "I don't want to talk about it."

Xue Lu frowned, feeling anxious again.

He considered himself a very composed person, but Song Qinggui always managed to weave a tangled mess in his mind.

The two fell into a long silence, each with their own thoughts, yet unwilling to speak of them, and the only thing they could do to ease their sorrows was to drink one glass of beer after another.

It wasn't until midnight that the two of them got up lazily and slightly tipsy to say goodbye to Xia Zhileng and Han Feng.

Xue Lu hailed a taxi and sat in the back seat with Song Qinggui. After getting in the car, Song Qinggui quickly fell asleep.

Upon arriving at the residential area, Xue Lu opened the car door, intending to carry the sleeping Song Qinggui out of the car.

Because of the physical contact, Song Qinggui woke up and instinctively wanted to push Xue Lu away: "I can walk by myself."

Xue Lu did not stop holding her, his voice tinged with the tenderness of alcohol: "I'll hold you, you go to sleep."

Song Qinggui was perhaps a little drunk, because he didn't continue to refuse. Instead, he obediently let him pick him up horizontally, put his hands on his neck, and nestled his head in the crook of his neck.

After her series of "cooperations," Xue Lu felt a tightness in his chest, and then his heart began to beat rapidly and heavily.

He carried her into the bedroom, gently placed her on the bed, took off her coat and shoes, and lay down beside her, quietly watching her sleep.

Xue Lu recalled that ten years ago, he was reading in his dormitory when his roommate, who was welcoming the new students, returned and excitedly told him, "Old Xue, we have a particularly beautiful junior sister this year. She's so pretty, like a fairy."

Xue Lu disagreed.

His roommate then patted him on the back and said, "Hey, give me some reaction!"

Xue Lu then closed the book somewhat impatiently: "Junior sister, beautiful lady, and then what?"

“I know you, handsome Xue, are worldly-wise, but trust me, you’ll definitely be interested in this junior.” My roommate raised an eyebrow. “She’s not only beautiful, but also academically gifted—she was the top scorer in Cangcheng’s college entrance exam. And her name suits you perfectly! Guess what her name is?”

Cangcheng's top scorer in the college entrance examination...

Xue Lu became somewhat interested. Cangcheng is a province with a large number of college entrance examination candidates, and the number of candidates and the difficulty of the college entrance examination are among the highest in the country. This junior sister is probably the queen of the queens of exam questions.

Seeing that Xue Lu didn't respond, his roommate revealed the answer himself: "Her name is Song Qinggui, the Qinggui of precepts and rules! Isn't she a good match for you?! Want to get to know her? I got her WeChat. You take a look first, and if you're not interested, I'll have to go after her."

Xue Lu threw a book at his roommate: "What do you mean, 'You're pursuing me even if I'm not interested'? What do you take girls for?"

"Tsk...so serious..." My roommate laughed and spat at Xue Lu, then started humming a song: "What's the use of royal power and wealth, what's the use of rules and regulations, your heart is full of longing for me, take me far away and fly away..."

...

Thanks to his roommate's groundwork, Xue Lu did indeed notice Song Qinggui.

They were both in the student council and on the debate team, so they had many opportunities to interact in their daily lives.

The two often chatted, discussing which cafeteria had the best food, whether a certain teacher would give key points for the final exam, and whether there were any other certificates required for university besides the Level 2 Computer Certificate and the CET-4 and CET-6 exams…

They would chat like old friends, about their favorite literary works, movies, and music...

They were once stuck together in the library on a sudden rainy evening. Song Qinggui handed him an earphone, which played an old song, Stefanie Sun's "Rainy Day"—"You understand that I have rainy days, you understand my occasional fear..."

Xue Lu and she stood side by side under the library corridor, quietly listening to the music, quietly watching the rain, and quietly waiting for the rain to stop...

There were many rumors about the two of them in the medical school, such as "strict rules and regulations, a golden couple" and "top scholars paired together, a match made in heaven".

Before Song Qinggui enrolled, many girls had their eyes on Xue Lu, including those from the medical school and other colleges. Many girls even created rumors to pursue him, but Xue Lu clarified them all.

This time, however, Xue Lu ignored the rumors and Song Qinggui treated him as usual, showing no intention of distancing themselves from him.

Xue Lu forgot what he was thinking at that time. He seemed to be waiting, but he didn't know if he was waiting for Song Qinggui, or for himself, or for an opportunity to burst the bubble called "ambiguity" and reveal a more intense light and shadow.

But he didn't wait for it.

That year, Xue Lv led the medical school to first place in the basketball tournament. Surrounded by the crowd, he saw Cheng Wuliang take Song Qinggui's hand from afar.

...

Back to the present, Xue Lu looked at Song Qinggui's gentle sleeping face and couldn't help but reach out his hand.

He gently touched her eyebrows and eyes, then her nose and lips. His index finger lingered on her cheek for a moment, but then carefully moved away.

“Song Qinggui…” Xue Lu’s voice was hoarse with caution: “Why him, and not me…”

Seemingly having heard the noise, Song Qinggui found it disturbing and frowned, her expression showing some annoyance.

But she was still very sleepy and didn't wake up. However, the next moment, she moved her body and put her head close to Xue Lu's chest.

"Thump...thump...thump..."

Xue Lu could hear his own heart pounding.

This time he did not hesitate, reached out and hugged Song Qinggui tightly in his arms.