Chapter 35: Writing a Letter "She didn't write to you?" "No...

News of the sage coughing up blood spread like wildfire, reaching the court officials just as they were preparing to attend the morning court session with their tablets in hand. Li Dehai hurriedly entered the Qinzheng Hall and ended the morning session with the words, "The sage is unwell."

No one dared to discuss it in the court, but after the court session, the respective factions gathered together and began to discuss the saint's illness.

Chu Mingjing is now the cabinet elder and also Yang Yan's teacher, but recently he has been very close to Lu Shichu.

He was old, and logically should have stepped down from the cabinet last year, but for some reason, he never did, and in the middle of his tenure, he even sided with the Crown Prince. Yang Yan had studied under Chu Mingjing for many years and knew Chu Mingjing well; he wouldn't support the tyrannical Crown Prince. At least, in his previous life, he hadn't supported him. He didn't know what had happened in this life to bring about this.

"Lord Yang."

Lu Shichu finished his quick conversation with Chu Mingjing and walked in front of Yang Yan.

Yang Yan said "hmm" lightly, not wanting to pay much attention to him. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing serious. The Crown Prince is hosting a Qionglin Banquet in two days. All the top two imperial examination winners from the past ten years will be there. Sir Yang, are you going?"

Lu Shichu asked with a faint smile.

He pretended to be a gentle and kind person in front of Chai Heng, and acted like a well-behaved disciple in front of Prince Jing and his wife. However, no matter how Yang Yan looked at him, he just couldn't stand him, and always felt that this guy had evil intentions.

"No."

He has never had much patience when talking to Lu Shichu.

Lu Shichu had anticipated this and was not in a hurry: "Master Yang, there's no need to rush to reject me. You can go back and think about it first. Prince Yong is still young, and apart from the influence of his mother's family, it's difficult for him to become a big shot. No matter how bad the Crown Prince's temper is, he is still the eldest son, and it is the law of nature to establish the eldest son as the heir. If you bet on Prince Yong, there is almost no chance of winning, but if you bet on the Crown Prince, there is a 50% chance."

Yang Yan: "Are you telling me this today to help me or to help yourself?"

Lu Shichu said, "You and I serve in the same court, and I am speaking to you all this for the sake of our country and the people."

"The country and the people?" Yang Yan rubbed the ring on his finger, and suddenly thought of Lu Shichu's whereabouts in his previous life. Besides harming Furong Mountain, he also attempted to collude with the Western Rong, causing chaos in the Western Territory for his own selfish interests. Talking to him about the country and the people?

"Lu Shichu, Chai Heng can't see through you, but I can see what you're thinking. If you really want to support the prince, I have nothing to say. But if you have other ideas, then get out of here." Yang Yan said coldly.

Among the many young officials of the Great Qi, Yang Yan's career was the smoothest. At a young age, he achieved three consecutive top-scoring titles in the imperial examination and later took first place in the palace examination. After joining the Ministry of War, he rose through the ranks, rising from Vice Minister to Minister of State, with seemingly no effort in his rise to prominence.

So in Lu Shichu's view, he has always been the most arrogant one.

Lu Shichu was not happy about being mocked by him accidentally. But when he thought that Yang Yan probably didn't know that Chai Heng had already set out on the road back to Furong Mountain, Lu Shichu felt that he was very pitiful.

You like someone without realizing it, and end up forcing someone who originally liked him to dislike him anymore. You really have yourself to blame.

"In that case, I hope you will take care of yourself." Lu Shichu said, looking at Yang Yan with pity, then stepped back.

Before he left, Yang Yan also saw the look in his eyes. His intuition told him that Lu Shichu wouldn't look at him like that for no reason, and he suddenly got a headache. When he left the palace and returned to the Marquis' Mansion, he saw Zhou Jiu's hurried figure.

"Sir... Madam, Madam is gone."

Zhou Jiu had discovered this today when he was delivering his monthly allowance to Yang Shiduo in the suburbs of Beijing. Several unfamiliar faces had appeared in the courtyard, weeding and moving in new desks and tables. Initially, Zhou Jiu thought Chai Heng was trying to tidy up his place, so he approached to ask around. It would have been fine if he hadn't inquired, but upon inquiry, he discovered that Chai Heng had sold the house a few days ago.

"Walk?"

Hearing this word, Yang Yan didn't react.

Zhou Jiu: "I went to deliver something to the old marquis today and found out that the villa had been sold by the madam. I just went to the post station to inquire, and Prince Jing and his wife left early this morning. The madam must have followed them in the carriage and should be on her way back to Furong Mountain now."

Yang Yan's expression changed slightly.

He suddenly remembered that when he left the villa yesterday, Chai Heng was sitting in front of the stool in the hall, looking at him quietly, and watching him leave.

It turned out that she had already prepared to go back with Prince Jing and his wife at that time, but she didn't tell him anything and lied to him, telling him that she would not leave.

The cup at hand was crushed in an instant, the broken porcelain pieces cut the palm of his hand, and blood flowed out.

"Prepare the horses!" Yang Yan said to Zhou Jiu, with veins throbbing on his forehead.

"No. Madam left because she wanted to. If you force her back, she will only hate you." Zhou Jiu, as an outsider, knew that he couldn't just watch Yang Yan make the same mistake again.

"I said prepare the horse!"

He repeated it again.

Zhou Jiu refused to listen and suddenly knelt down. "Forgive me for not obeying your order. Madam is determined to leave. What good will it do if you try to stop her? It will only lead to the two of us growing tired of each other and becoming a couple of grudges."

Zhou Jiu’s kneeling made Yang Yan’s mind clear up instantly. That’s right, what would happen if he stopped her?

Will she love him as much as before?

That definitely won't happen.

But at least she was still by his side.

Yang Yan suddenly recalled the past decade or so of his life. With the exception of the time he went to Yongzhou, she had been by his side almost all the time. He had grown accustomed to her presence, and she had once forced him to like her. Now he was beginning to admit that he did like her, but now she had left him. What was he to do?

"Just leave if you want to."

"Life can be lived without anyone, and I don't have to hang myself on this tree." Yang Yan narrowed his eyes, loosened the broken porcelain pieces in his palm, and spoke casually.

If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have done it.

Zhou Jiu saw Yang Yan speaking lightly, but he also knew that this so-called letting go was not an easy path. But being able to stop him from chasing Chai Heng was already a merit in Zhou Jiu's eyes.

"Then please stay alone for a while, my lord. I'll go and get busy."

Zhou Jiu hurriedly retreated.

*

Chai Heng followed her master and mistress onto the carriage leaving Beijing early in the morning. Yesterday, her senior brother came to see them and asked her if she wanted to make things clear with Yang Yan before leaving and tell him that she was leaving, but Chai Heng refused.

The last time they met in their previous life, it seemed like they never said goodbye properly. It was a huge fight, very ugly.

Since this is the last time we meet in this life, there is no need to say goodbye. Saying goodbye will only cause more trouble.

The journey from the capital to Furong Mountain was long and bumpy. The carriage was jolted along the way, and because the wheels broke twice, the driver had to stop. It took half a month to reach Furong Mountain.

"I see you didn't sleep well on the way here. Now that you're back, you should get some good sleep."

Seeing that Chai Heng's face was pale from the bumpy ride, Yin Yuzhen felt extremely distressed. As soon as she got off the carriage, she took Chai Heng back to the room where she used to live.

The room remained much the same as before. Although Chai Heng hadn't been home for two years, the furnishings hadn't changed a bit. Knowing that Chai Heng loved carving wood, Yin Yuzhen had specially arranged the wooden sculptures she had carved as a child in rows by the window. The bedding was washed every few days by a servant.

Chai Heng was indeed very sleepy and fell asleep as soon as he touched the pillow.

When she woke up, two boys about twelve or thirteen years old were standing in front of her holding swords, calling her "Senior Sister" respectfully.

Chai Heng was once the youngest in the sect, and Yin Yuzhen and Prince Jing had always raised her as their own daughter. After Chai Heng left, they took in two more disciples. The older one was named Qishui, a girl, and the younger one was named Liushi, a boy.

They were all the children of Aunt Gui from the mountains. Her husband had lost his leg in a coup during the previous dynasty and passed away two years ago. The people of Furong Mountain had a special status and could only make a living by doing small businesses, gathering herbs and mushrooms from the mountains to sell. Those who could use bows and arrows relied on hunting.

After Aunt Gui's husband died, it was not easy for her to raise two children alone, so Yin Yuzhen took the two children to live with her.

Apart from these two children, all the untaught children in the mountains can come here during the day to learn archery or swordsmanship.

Now that Chai Heng is back, she can teach them as their senior sister during the day.

"Master's wife said that you are very beautiful and the smartest and most well-behaved student she has taught in all these years. So when we heard that you were back, we wanted to come and see you."

Qi Shui looked at Chai Heng with a smile, as if to say, "Master's wife was right, Senior Sister, you are really like this."

As soon as Chai Heng returned to Furong Mountain, she became very relaxed. Although she was not familiar with these children, perhaps because they all grew up in Furong Mountain, she felt a natural sense of closeness when she saw them.

During the three months she stayed in Furong Mountain, she taught them sword skills during the day, and at night she sat with her master's wife on the slope of the mountain top, drinking and watching the moon.

Life is so enjoyable.

*

After Chai Heng left, Yang Yan left without her, saying that he could live alone without her. However, he secretly sent someone to Youzhou and bribed an old widower on Furong Mountain to record every day what Chai Heng did, whether she was happy or not, and who she talked to. After writing down these things, he would send a letter to him every day.

Each letter was very short, but every time Yang Yan opened a letter, he would sit in the study for an entire afternoon, trying to see a more vivid Chai Heng from the few words.

He wanted to use these letters to dilute his longing for her, but the more he read, the easier it was for him to dream. So recently, he dreamed of her almost every night.

The night he dreamed about the most was the night before he went to Yongzhou.

In his dream, Chai Heng came to him, holding a small wooden sculpture she had spent days carving, hoping to make peace. Her hands were covered in scratches of varying depths, left by the carving. He had secretly visited her at night not long ago, applying medicine to her injured knee, and had noticed the scratches, applying medicine to her hand as well. But new injuries had subsequently been added to the old ones. She wasn't a very careful person, so not only did she walk without looking where she was going, but even carving often resulted in her injuring herself.

He knew that she had spent a long time carving the wood carving, but they got into an argument. He remembered the saint's warning and heard that she was going to commit suicide again and kill the last two living people in the Xue family, so he coldly did not take the wood carving.

Not only did he not accept it, but he also told her coldly and distantly that she could give it a try and see if he would let her come back with broken hands and feet if she dared to set her sights on the Xue family again.

After he said this, Chai Heng's eyes suddenly turned red.

"Say it again?" She was trembling all over.

He was being foolish at that time. He saw her eyes were red and his heart ached, but he still hardened his heart and said it again.

There are differences between dreams and reality.

In the dream, after he repeated what he said, Chai Heng wiped away her tears and told him, "If you don't take back what you said today, I won't want you anymore. I will never forgive you again."

But in reality, that day Chai Heng listened to his words, wiped away her tears and said nothing.

He woke up from the dream, thought of Chai Heng in the dream, and then thought of Chai Heng on that day, and suddenly realized that although she didn't say anything at that time.

But from that day on, she completely decided not to have him.

After realizing this, he began having this dream more frequently. He began to have this dream over and over again, in which he always wanted to change something.

For example, don’t say such mean words.

For example, although he said it, he did not order his men to dig a pit for her after he finished speaking, which eliminated the possibility of her legs being broken by the animal trap.

Or maybe he would have immediately agreed to her request for peace the moment she took out the wood carving.

Perhaps it was because he had the dream so often that he gradually began to change things in his dreams. He discovered that if he did something right, Chai Heng would forgive him.

it is a pity.

Dreams are just dreams after all.

"Ever since Chai Si left, I've noticed your mental state has deteriorated considerably. He's started a new life, so why are you so hung up on him? Why don't you just go find your fair moonlight, Miss Xue? Chai Si mentioned it to me back in Xirong, saying you really like that girl from the Xue family and that you've been giving her a lot of trouble for her."

"Now that she's gone, you should be getting what you wanted. Why do you look so unhappy instead?"

After leaving the Ministry of War, Ji Zhangqing walked along the official road and spoke earnestly to Yang Yan. He had only met Xue Ruyue a few times in Xirong and didn't know her well, but he did know Chai Heng. When she liked someone, she would risk her life for that love, but when she didn't like someone, she would never look back.

"You believe her nonsense?" Yang Yan curled his lips, "I have never liked Xue Ruyue. Not before, and not in the future."

"Then why do you always pretend to like Miss Xue?"

"At that time, it was just to piss off Chai Heng, but later she took it seriously."

Ji Zhangqing: "You...really..."

Yang Yan lowered his eyes. The past was too painful to recall. Who wouldn't say that he deserved it?

"Forget it, I won't talk about you anymore. Fortunately, Chai Si is doing well now. She wrote to my wife a few days ago, saying that she wanted to learn how to bake pancakes for the junior brothers and sisters in Furong Mountain. She should be living a much better life now than in the capital."

Yang Yan grasped the key point: "She wrote a letter to your wife?"

"Yes, it seems he didn't just write to my wife. A while ago, Lord Cui from the Beijing Guards talked to me about Chai Heng and said that Chai Heng wrote him a letter. The letter probably asked Lord Cui to take care of his health or something like that."

"And Lord Lu Shichu, including her maid Xiangqiao, should have received her letter."

Ji Changqing spoke for a while, and then suddenly realized an embarrassing point.

"She didn't write to you, did she?"

Yang Yan's heart felt like it was hit by something, and he felt a dull pain. He wrote letters to everyone except him.

It was a waste that he sent people to spy on her life and what she did every day like a thief, but she didn't care at all whether he was doing well when she was not around. She also didn't want to know what happened to him when she was not around.

"No."

As soon as he uttered those two seemingly indifferent words, Yang Yan suddenly felt like he was the most pitiful person in the world.