16. Gotham: GCPD

twenty four.

Years later, when facing the Gotham Police Department, Aria would remember the night she pulled out the milking pail.

The farmer used to love interacting with her animals. Back in the days before the automatic petting machine, even if she had to go down to the mines, she would swiftly slip into the barn and pet her goats, then cows, then rabbits. The soft fur brushing against her palms felt like touching clouds. Not to mention the happy, sleek animals that crowded around her, begging for petting. This was her third stress-relief in Stardew Valley, besides fishing and mining.

—But now everything is ruined.

The farmer, who had completely lost the will to live, squatted on the ground, allowing the police from Zuzu City to arrive late and warmly present her, a outsider, with a pair of rose gold bracelets.

Batman was nowhere to be seen. He appeared and disappeared in a hurry like a ghost, leaving behind only two criminals who had been dealt with. If the trainee guard had not known in advance that the black-haired woman squatting on the ground had stabbed the man next to her several times with a pitchfork, it would have been difficult for him to associate her with this word.

Today was so peaceful, Gordon thought, almost unnaturally so. Usually, when Batman dispatched a criminal and notified the GCPD, the criminal would be lying on the ground with broken ribs or flailing limbs, mumbling incoherently about Batman having ripped his jaw off. Such a peaceful resolution as today was truly rare in his detective career.

But being able to go home early still made Gordon feel relieved. He lit a cigarette to refresh himself and asked the new rookie to escort her.

The newcomer scratched his head, looked at Aria, who had a dead look in her eyes, and accepted the task.

Batman looms like a massive shadow over the Gotham Police Department. Admittedly, they've benefited greatly from him—a vastly improved crime clearance rate and an astonishing number of criminals apprehended. But many veterans of the department still believe the GCPD has lost more than it has gained. If the department previously held some influence in Gotham, earning some extra cash and providing benefits to some, then after Gordon became Commissioner and Batman emerged, the Gotham police force has become a rubbish job, a stinking and inescapable one.

Mark hadn't been born into a good era, but he felt good about it. The GCPD was now more capable of fulfilling his ideals than ever before. His pursuit of justice would undoubtedly be ridiculed by his peers, so he kept it to himself and focused on the one who could best achieve justice in Gotham.

Whether well-intentioned or ill-intentioned, the police department's attention to Batman will only increase, not decrease. While everyone was busy putting the blood-soaked criminal into the police car, Mark seized the opportunity to gossip a little.

Gotham's famous criminals come and go like this. If you want to stay a police officer and stay alive, you have to memorize all these faces. This is an iron rule that rookie detectives like him have been told countless times by veterans. The only drawback is that rookies are quite unwary of people other than famous criminals, but their curiosity is extremely strong.

"So how did you offend Batman?" Mark asked while cuffing the suspect. To gain the farmer's trust, the guard said something to allay his suspicions: "Sheriff Gordon said you were suspected of intentional injury, but I think you were just acting in self-defense. What did you do before that made you such a good fighter?"

This was as ridiculous as asking an air conditioner operator, "Master, what do you do?", but somehow it eased the embarrassment that was about to overwhelm Aria. The farmer wiped his face vigorously with his hands together and said slowly.

"Have you seen the evidence?" The pitchfork was simply put into an evidence bag and placed in a corner of the police car. The dense metal teeth were still stained with blood, which looked particularly ominous, like a cursed object.

The rookie was confused: "I saw it..."

"Then tell me what that is."

Although he knew it was a pitchfork, saying it out loud seemed a bit hurtful. Mark's mind raced, trying to come up with a response that sounded stylish and EQ-worthy of a criminal: "Lance of Longinus? Or Odin's Eternal Spear?"

"No," Aria said flatly, already tired. "That's a pitchfork."

"I do farm work." I also make some wine, mine some, fish some, and become the richest man in Stardew Valley.

"So now you understand?"

"Wow." Aria couldn't help but sense the guard's surprise. Mark waved her off, seeming to treat her with even more respect than before.

"You're breaking new ground here," the GCPD guard said seriously. "I've never heard of a criminal like this before in the police department. If you keep up the good work, you might even earn a reputation as a super criminal."

A question mark slowly rose above Aria's head. The farmer felt helpless. She felt that everyone in this city seemed to have some issues with their brains. "...Should I thank you for your encouragement?"

Mark replied with a silly smile showing his two rows of white teeth: "But it shouldn't work this time. What you did now won't get you jailed. I estimate that you will be released after two days at most."

...She wanted to be alone for a while, really.

Since the other criminal, who had regained consciousness, refused to ride in the same car with her, threatening to crash and die, Aria was assigned a separate police car. Although the guards looked a bit unnatural, given her current status as a farmer, she had no choice but to join the group silently.

"You also think I'll only be locked up for a few days?" Even with one hand cuffed to the bars, the farmer remained undisturbed, trying to find the most comfortable position to rest. Her stamina bar was slowly rising, and perhaps it would be halfway restored in a while. "I actually feel wronged, too. I was clearly betrayed by that guy, and I acted irrationally in anger. If I have to pay a heavy price, I'm afraid I won't agree... Can you get me a cushion? Yes, the one next to your butt, just throw it over, thank you."

Adjusting the cushion with his still-movable legs, the farmer sat down in a relatively less tiring position, slowly turning into a pool of slime.

The police cars communicated with each other via intercom. Gordon, sitting in the passenger seat, was still hesitant to let the rookie and the other driving guard face the black-haired woman. He dialed the intercom and connected with the driver of the police car following closely behind.

"Is everything okay?" Gordon held the intercom with one hand while reminding his colleagues to avoid the nails that someone had deliberately placed on the ground. "Is there anything unusual?"

My colleague on the other end of the line, his speech slurred due to chewing gum, said, "He's fine. Today, he didn't try to break the fender and strangle me with his clothes while I was driving, nor did he plant a bomb to blow everyone up. He just talks a lot and likes to chat with others."

He turned the intercom inward so that Gordon could hear what was being said.

“…”

"Based on what you've said, I don't think you have a chance. That Renee Montoya probably won't like you."

"But—" Mark's voice was hesitant, clearly hurt by this possibility. "I think there's still a little bit, a little bit..."

"It's very difficult." The voice was filled with the joy of enjoying a good meal. "I'm very good at judging people. Just forget about it. But how long will it take to get to the police station? I think it will be two o'clock in an hour. I have a very regular sleep schedule and I must go to bed before two o'clock."

...You are responsible for detaining the suspect, not for chatting with him!

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A bit of Gotham black humor and the farmer's surprising affinity ()

Renee Montoya is a detective in the Gotham City Major Crimes Unit and a lesbian, so the farmer is sometimes quite accurate in judging people.

I'll try to update daily in July. Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or provided me with nutrient solution between 2024-06-29 18:00:44 and 2024-07-01 23:50:09~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the rocket launcher: 1 super cute baby;

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Thanks to the little angels who irrigated the nutrient solution: Name Is Not Important 15 bottles; Yu Xue Fei Fei and Cancer Nightmare 10 bottles; Dian V Hua 5 bottles; Zi Fei Yu 2 bottles; 51822616 and A Tao 1 bottle;

Thank you very much for your support. I will continue to work hard!