85. Gotham: Damian Automatic Stroking Machine

93.

If it was the first time Robin saw the farmer, he would probably think that another hopeless lunatic had appeared in Gotham.

But now… Damian emerged from the deep sewer pool and took off his diving helmet. Sewage dripped down the folds of his waterproof suit. He glanced at Aria, who was holding a cake, and his brows almost knitted together. "Honestly, do you think this is a suitable environment for giving food to others?"

The farmer looked up at him with those suspiciously clear eyes, a look of complete certainty in them, almost saying, "Of course." Damian's mouth twitched: "..."

Even the sharpest words hit this guy like a punch on cotton. Damian rolled his eyes, a skill unmatched by any artistry, and without more than two seconds of thought, he immediately categorized the farmer from "hopeless adult" into "strange alien creature."

"What are you doing here?" The farmer was so obsessed with this topic that he stubbornly kept coming back to it even when he was led off track.

"What are you doing here again?" Robin was too lazy to beat around the bush. He raised the underwater searchlight in his hand, and the beam of light penetrated the turbid water vapor in the sewer and fell on the farmer, covering up the light she emitted.

People subconsciously squint when faced with strong light, but before the farmer could protest against the glare, he lowered the light and threw the underwater searchlight onto the shore.

If Aria had come just to recycle those crab pots, he could tell her the result now - Damian took a look when he passed by, and saw that there were only garbage paper balls and broken glasses inside. Although he didn't know why people in Gotham were losing their glasses every day, there was no doubt that the farmer had also come back empty-handed today.

However, Aria didn't seem to want to delve into the topic of the Air Force today. She smiled and pointed upwards: "I'm already in Crime Alley. What do you think I can do?"

Damian Wayne paused imperceptibly, subconsciously tensing his muscles. Years of training had put his body on alert faster than his mind, but he remained calm. "...I don't understand what you mean."

"Really?" Aria tilted her head, as if sizing him up, a smile in her eyes that Robin couldn't interpret for the time being. "Do you remember what happened in the Court of Owls maze?"

Aria happily recounted their maze adventure: "I fished out decorative trash cans and secret notes in the fountain..."

Damian certainly hadn't forgotten. The memory of "fishing a trash can out of the fountain" was damn vivid in his mind. Even though the subsequent incident report clearly stated: the fountain contained a high concentration of hallucinogens, and they had inhaled too much in the exposure environment, there was a high possibility of mass hysteria. But when the person ran to the sewer and tried to persuade him... Damian Wayne couldn't help but feel a little shaken.

Perhaps sensing his distrust, the farmer sighed softly, "Next time we meet, I can show you the trash can I caught last time—you still remember its details, right?"

Robin calmed himself down. The more this situation was, the more he couldn't show any mistakes. "What was that secret note..."

"Hmm..." Aria pinched her chin and thought for a while, then simply sat on the shore, swinging her legs leisurely, not worried about falling at all.

This is a common problem when dealing with highly intelligent NPCs, but it's quite interesting. The farmer lowered his voice, trying to create a terrifying atmosphere: "Everyone has secrets, right?"

Damian said nothing.

"You know what? Secrets actually have a life of their own."

"When they are spoken out, the wind will hear them; the wind meets the clouds and turns into rain; the rain falls to the ground and hides the secrets... Then, I dug them out."

After the farmer finished his impromptu fairy tale, he turned his head to look at Damian and said, "Well, is my explanation straightforward enough?"

Robin had a look on his face that said, "Are you taking me for a fool?" "If every fairy tale writer was like you, they'd starve to death."

What a vicious and horrible comment.

"What a shame," Aria propped up her head in frustration. "I thought kids all loved bedtime stories. Looks like the information is deceiving."

Those stupid kids must have fainted because the story was so boring, but seeing the farmer's rather frustrated expression, he took a detour in his words.

Damian said calmly, "I listen to it before bed, too."

There was undisguised doubt in Aria's eyes - how could he have such a vicious mouth if he listened to bedtime stories every day.

Damian raised his chin slightly, his voice cold and matter-of-fact: "Yes, my mother read to me every night. I had just finished reading The Prince before I left her."

“…”

Aria was speechless for a moment. Apparently, such a "bedtime story" was too much for a farmer.

Damian didn't want to waste any more time. He glanced down at his waterproof watch. Ever since the wall-climbing incident and the argument with his father, he'd been grounded for a week. If it weren't for the boring club activities being used as a target, he'd probably still be at home, glaring at Alfred.

Free time was extremely valuable, so Damian simply went straight to the point: "So what exactly do you want to say?"

Aria finally dropped her playful expression and looked him in the eye. "What I'm trying to say is, you're actually looking for the pearl, right, Damian?"

The beam of light fell behind the farmer, its faint reflection catching Damian's eyes. The air was thick with the smell of sewage. But at this moment, Damian Wayne wasn't feeling the panic of having his identity revealed. Instead, he was reacting instinctively to the possibility that Batman's true identity would be discovered—he couldn't stay.

"Although I know it sounds like a villain to say this, but... wow!" The farmer jumped up in amazement, twisting his body like a duck that was suddenly driven ashore, and avoided the other party's sneak attack.

The dagger shot out from Damian's wrist, brushed past the farmer and stabbed into the wall of the sewer behind him.

...Oh no, I played too much and it seemed like I could hear the wailing of my favorability.

Robin was in the water and she was on the shore. The farmer felt that there was still a chance to save the situation: "Wait, wait! Don't get so excited!"

After backing away and keeping a safe distance from Damian, Aria wiped away nonexistent tears. "You were just working as a child laborer for Batman without your father's knowledge. Is there anything worth killing for?"

"I thought we were comrades who had lived and died together."

"You won't die." Damian's momentary alertness vanished a quarter when he heard that things weren't what he expected. A heavy weight lifted from his heart, and he continued his ruthless attack, "Besides, there are no eternal friends in this world, only eternal interests."

Bruce must have been too lazy to take care of the child. This child didn't inherit his innocent nature at all, but instead resembled Batman. Aria thought with some regret, this was all a lie. There were no angelic children. The game was full of little devils.

"So it was the secret note that told you I was looking for the pearl?" After considering the cause and effect, Damian quickly came to this conclusion.

In fact, compared to the farmer's nonsense, he was more inclined to believe that the secret note was a hint placed by some mysterious force in Gotham. The other party was manipulating them like a trader, observing their actions behind the scenes, and Aria was just the chosen picker - she was far from having enough IQ to plan such a conspiracy.

"no."

"Then how did you..."

"I guessed." After making sure it was safe, the farmer, who valued her life, slowly moved back. The familiar smile returned to her face: "Because you love Bruce, you would do such a thing."

That word might be particularly hot for others, but it rolled out easily in Aria's mouth, as gentle as the sun in winter. "In the maze, we saw a large wall of photos together, and you immediately spotted Batman on it. Remember?"

"I thought about it later. Not only did you see Batman, but after taking down the frame, you also glanced at the wall. I know very few people in that direction, and the only people who matched the picture were Thomas and Martha."

Damian Wayne frowned slightly. He didn't expect that she could still remember the details in that situation. He had underestimated her before.

"When you look at their eyes at that time, it wasn't one of nostalgia, but more of shock. Considering what the court did, it's reasonable to suspect that they were related to the Wayne couple's death." The farmer took out a fishing rod from somewhere and cast a cast.

"It has nothing to do with the court."

"Ah, pretty much what I guessed. But you also know how important the pearl necklace is to Bruce, right?" This should have happened during this time period—because if Damian knew a moment earlier, he would have started searching for the pearls a moment earlier. With the farmer's frequent visits to the sewers, she would not have failed to notice this boy with strange behavior.

"It has nothing to do with you." Damian didn't want the so-called secret note to involve something his father cherished.

"But Zuzu City's waters are so vast, how do you know where all those scattered pearls have washed up? Are you going to search for them one by one?" The farmer felt heartbroken at the thought that Zuzu City's sewers might never again be free of garbage and crayfish. "Maybe even if you grow up, you'll only find a few."

Her words undoubtedly hit Damian's nerves, as the boy pinched his waterproof suit. "...So what can you do?"

"Of course, more friends mean more opportunities!" The farmer pointed at himself and volunteered, "Look, don't I have a ready-made helper?"

"Perhaps we can make use of the 'rules'," Aria smiled. "There are no unfinished timed tasks, only farmers who don't work hard!"

"As long as you can successfully post the limited-time task of 'Find all the pearls dropped by Martha' on the limited-time task board in the city hall, the game will give us a chance - a chance to collect them all."

…

The cooperation went more smoothly than she had imagined, but the farmer still raised his hand silently: "I actually have another question." This question had been in her mind for a long time, and if she kept it in any longer, it would probably explode.

Damian said simply, "Speak."

"I'm a little curious about how much salary Batman offered you to be willing to work as a child laborer. Doesn't Bruce usually give you pocket money?" When Aria thought about the son of the richest man in Zuzu City actually working as a vigilante because he was angry about his father not giving him pocket money, she felt that the whole world became wonderful.

"If you really need pocket money, I can give you some suggestions..." Even for a devil child, not having pocket money is unjust!

Damian wanted to roll his eyes again, but in order to cover up his father's vest, he endured it: "No, I volunteered to be a vigilante, Batman didn't pay me." Of course, it doesn't count as child labor if you don't get paid.

"Just out of interest?" The farmer thought for a moment and then switched to a more noble term: "Truth and justice?"

"……right."

Hearing this, the farmer was a little excited: "Do you have any other hobbies? Like, you like to beat up strange things, or like to put vegetables from the field into the basket..." As she said this, she observed Damian's expression, "...you like to play with animals?"

When it came to the last option, Damian's mouth corners reflexively rose up a millimeter and then fell down in an instant: "I will not be a child laborer for you." Even if this was a good opportunity to grasp the farmer's weakness, he would not do such a thing!

"If you don't get paid, it's not considered child labor..." The farmer said disappointedly, "I thought you would be interested in calves, ponies, pigs, chickens, ducks, and even baby dinosaurs."

"I'm not interested...wait."

Damian emerged from the sewage and suspected that there was something wrong with his hearing: "...What dinosaur?"

————————

Damian: Wait, what dinosaur?

Farmer: Baited!!

In Stardew Valley, you can hatch dinosaur eggs in a chicken coop...yes, a chicken coop.