Chapter 45 Kissing "Close Your Eyes"

45

Upon hearing the expected answer, Fang Huaixu was calmer than he had anticipated, or rather, much more relieved.

"I won't feel any psychological pressure." He slightly tugged at the corners of his mouth, revealing a bitter smile: "I work in the medical research industry myself, so I know my own body's condition very well, and I can basically guess what's going on."

Hearing this, Meng Yao felt a little embarrassed. She sat down beside his bed and muttered softly, somewhat apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm really not good at hiding my emotions. I didn't expect you to notice so quickly..."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

Fang Huaixu raised his hand and touched her lowered head. His heart ached even more. He gazed at her face with longing and felt that even her little clumsiness was so endearing. He said softly, "This is not your fault. It's okay."

Meng Yao was unusually obedient and quiet as he stroked her. A brief silence fell between them. Fang Huaixu lowered his hand and sighed silently.

He felt an indescribable sadness. He had thought that after becoming a doctor, he would be more open-minded about things like life and death, but just the day after he finally understood his own heart and had someone he cared about, he heard his own sentence. He couldn't help but feel the impermanence of life and how cruel fate had been to him.

He took a deep breath, as if sighing, "I never expected that something like this would happen right after I confessed my feelings to you. I should be the one apologizing more."

Meng Yao didn't notice the odd tone in his voice, and couldn't help but pout, half-jokingly retorting, "What kind of confession is that? It was vague, at most a teaser. Before we're officially together after you're discharged from the hospital, you have to formally confess to me again, otherwise I won't agree."

Her tone was relaxed and full of expectation, but it sounded particularly jarring to Fang Huaixu.

He knew perfectly well how dangerous his mother's pancreatic cancer was; once it was discovered, there was almost no chance of a cure, and being discharged from the hospital was practically a pipe dream. To him, Meng Yao's words sounded more like encouragement.

He shook his head helplessly, his voice calm and resigned: "I know how difficult it is to treat."

“I know, the doctor told me that too,” Meng Yao nodded, her eyes shining. “Although the treatment is indeed quite difficult, I also bear some responsibility for this. Don’t worry, I will definitely stay with you and wait for your recovery.”

“It has nothing to do with you, you don’t need to take on this responsibility.” Fang Huaixu felt even more guilty and more determined not to drag her down any further: “I’m sorry for what I said the day before that delayed you, but we’re not officially together yet, you don’t have this responsibility.”

"What do you mean?" Meng Yao finally realized something was off about his words and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"We simply expressed our interest and mentioned that we're still in the evaluation period, so there's no responsibility or obligation involved..."

He hardened his heart, then realized the inappropriateness of his words. They were married now, so he reorganized his thoughts: "...Even if there is a relationship, you shouldn't choose to ruin your life for the sake of reputation or sympathy. Besides, I have the best medical resources to try to treat myself, so you don't need to waste your time on me."

Meng Yao was completely stunned, unable to follow his train of thought: "Fang Huaixu, what are you talking about? Why would I think that? Are you blaming me because of my previous injury or something? Otherwise, why would I give up on you because of something like this?"

Fang Huaixu didn't know how to start, so he frankly shared his thoughts: "I've seen with my own eyes how difficult it has been for you to get to where you are now, not to mention that you now have a brighter future and your grandmother needs to be taken care of."

He looked earnestly into her eyes and said, "So don't let these things hold you back anymore. Your future will definitely be better and easier than it is now."

Meng Yao was still puzzled, and even looked at him angrily: "What are you talking about? What kind of person do you think I am?" His reason and emotions were also fighting, and he said as if he had used up his last bit of strength: "If you really feel that leaving at this time would be disregarding our feelings, then I do have an unreasonable request."

He lowered his gaze and spoke with difficulty, "If you're willing, then kiss me again, just like you said you would repay me before. Consider it a reward for this relationship."

"What are you thinking?" Meng Yao couldn't stand it anymore and stood up abruptly. "Don't say so much. It's just an arm injury. Why are you talking like it's your last words?"

Her brows furrowed almost tightly: "The doctor said that because your arm injury was treated promptly and thoroughly, it is very likely to leave sequelae, and your flexibility will be affected. You may not be able to perform some fine motor skills as before... But with active treatment, we can still try our best to recover to your previous state. What we need to do now is to actively cooperate with the treatment and see if we can recover as much as possible. Do you understand?"

Fang Huaixu was completely stunned, his mind went blank: "Hand?"

Meng Yao nodded: "Yes."

He widened his eyes slightly in disbelief: "Just an arm?"

"Otherwise what?" Meng Yao looked at his confused expression, both amused and exasperated. It turned out he had misunderstood. "What did you think it was? A terminal illness?"

Fang Huaixu's face instantly turned bright red. He was only thankful that it was dark and Meng Yao couldn't see the change in his expression. He was so embarrassed that he almost wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl into. He subconsciously looked away and his voice came out in a muffled tone, with undisguised embarrassment: "I saw that you were so nervous just now, and you were talking about psychological pressure. I misunderstood... Then why were you so nervous just now?"

Meng Yao then realized the huge misunderstanding she had made. Thinking about what he had just said, she didn't know whether to laugh or be angry. Her tone relaxed, but she still felt a little guilty: "I was nervous because you are, after all, a medical researcher. Although I don't understand it, I know that this field requires a certain level of hand stability. Hands must be very important to you... But because you were injured because of me, I didn't know how to bring it up..."

Fang Huaixu completely relaxed after hearing her words. Although his face was still red, his eyes had regained their clarity. He did not forget to comfort her: "I had an accident in the past, and my right hand was seriously injured, which is why I stepped back from the spotlight to start doing medical research."

He paused for a moment, then extended his right hand to Meng Yao, indicating, "So even if I develop a chronic illness this time, it doesn't matter. I haven't been able to perform high-precision surgeries and experiments for a long time, so it has nothing to do with you."

This time, Meng Yao remained silent, reaching out to gently stroke his warm palm. Sure enough, there was a noticeable scar. Her tone was filled with complex emotions: "...How could this happen? When did this occur?"

“When I was twenty-six, I was two years older than you are now,” Fang Huaixu thought, feeling a little embarrassed, especially when he recalled his last words and request. His ears turned even redder as he slowly withdrew his hand. “It’s getting late…why don’t we get some rest?”

Meng Yao responded, but the next second she suddenly leaned in and stared at his face with a mischievous smile: "So, shouldn't we kiss now?"

Fang Huaixu's face, which had just cooled down, instantly flushed again: "...What?"

"What did you just say?" Meng Yao stopped him from lying down. "You said you wanted me to kiss you."

Fang Huaixu froze instantly, instinctively denying, "I didn't."

“You’re cheating,” Meng Yao immediately complained, mimicking his tone: “‘I do have an unreasonable request,’ you just stated it so clearly.”

Fang Huaixu blushed even more as she repeated it, wishing he could turn back time and cover up his own rambling self. His voice trailed off in embarrassment: "That's because the situation was different. I thought there wouldn't be much of a chance to say it..."

"What do you mean?"

However, Meng Yao didn't give him any time to react. As she spoke, she flipped over and straddled his lap: "Is it because I know I don't have much time left that I'm saying what I want to say and doing what I want to do so frankly?"

Their soft bodies pressed tightly together, her unique sweet scent instantly enveloping Fang Huaixu, making all the blood in his body rush to his brain.

He instinctively tried to back away, but Meng Yao pretended to lose her balance and leaned back. Startled, he forgot about whether it was appropriate or not and instinctively reached out and tightly wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her firmly in his arms to prevent her from falling.

It wasn't until Meng Yao laughed triumphantly that he realized he had been tricked by her again. Filled with unprecedented panic, his voice trembled slightly: "This isn't appropriate..."

"What's wrong with it?" Meng Yao laughed triumphantly, then reached out and hooked her arm around his neck, pulling his head toward her and forcing him to look into her eyes.

The two pressed themselves even closer, almost completely touching.

Fang Huaixu was forced to meet her gaze, and could almost see his flushed and helpless face reflected in her eyes, which were so close to his.

His heart was pounding like a drum, almost bursting out of his chest: "Don't do this, I don't have that much self-control..."

"Then why endure it?"

Meng Yao interrupted him, her breath brushing against his lips: "Why did you think you could take it for granted to kiss me when you thought you didn't have much time left?"

Fang Huaixu opened his mouth with difficulty and explained in a low voice, "Because I also have my own selfish motives..."

"Then why can't we have our own selfish desires now that we have plenty of time?"

Meng Yao continued to press on with clear logic: "Why can't we make up for this regret now? Why always wait until there's not much time left?"

"I..." Fang Huaixu tried to organize his thoughts to refute, but found that Meng Yao's logic was so clear that it was impeccable.

Meng Yao seemed to see through his thoughts and preemptively asked, "Why do you always wait until you feel like you don't have much time left before you dare to speak your true thoughts and do what you want to do?"

She paused halfway through her sentence, looking tenderly into his eyes: "We clearly have plenty of time to experience things together, to create more memories. Isn't it foolish to save all our courage and honesty for what we think is the final countdown?"

Fang Huaixu seemed to be inspired in an instant, staring blankly at her, as if he was calmed by this simple yet profound question.

Yes, why? Why is he always afraid, hesitant, calculating gains and losses, worrying about the future, yet he dares not seize the certainty of love and happiness right in front of him?

Seeing him deep in thought, Meng Yao's heart softened, and she continued to guide him playfully: "Besides, didn't you use being sick to act cute last night? Why can't you do it now that you're not fully recovered?"

Fang Huaixu's ears burned; he was always teased by her to the point of being unable to think straight: "...I wasn't being coquettish."

"Okay, okay, if you say I didn't act cute, then I didn't act cute."

Meng Yao readily continued to coax him: "It's okay for a sick person to be a little willful, right? So if you want me to kiss you now, it's okay to just say so, right?"

Fang Huaixu looked at her smiling face, which was so close to his, full of encouragement and expectation, and felt her warm breath and soft body pressed against him. But that damned rationality and shyness bound him like shackles.

He hesitated several times before speaking, then, sensing something was amiss, he looked at her with displeasure: "Why are you always so skilled at this kind of thing... It seems like I'm the only one who's embarrassed."

Meng Yao paused for a moment, then chuckled dismissively. Instead of answering directly, she raised an eyebrow, pulled his hand over, and placed it on her cheek.

Fang Huaixu was startled, but when he touched that soft and hot skin, he was stunned. He then realized that the temperature of her cheeks was no less than his own.

"Because I am not a coward."

She spoke slowly and deliberately, not forgetting to playfully allude to Fang Huaixu.

Fang Huaixu was completely stunned. He could feel that under his palm, her breath, which was close to his lips, was trembling slightly and imperceptibly as she spoke.

Her long eyelashes rose and fell slowly, her tone filled with endless allure: "If you still can't make a decision, close your eyes now, and I'll make the decision for you."

Fang Huaixu's heartbeat had never been so deafening. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. He took a deep breath and, as if drawn by some irresistible force, opened his mouth: "...No need."

Meng Yao thought he was going to back down again, but to her surprise, the hands that were touching her cheeks suddenly pressed tightly against hers.

"I don't want to close my eyes."

Without hesitation or needing any leeway, Fang Huaixu leaned forward firmly and kissed her lips accurately and gently.

Author's Note: Honey! [Please!]